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In terms of where you are in the world and what laws apply to consent. A 13 year old (in many places) is no more consenting than a 75 year old in a coma. A 32 year old with severe mental impairment is not a consenting adult in some cases. Generally differentiating between desire and consent. All three may make statents or have desires that express consent (even before being in a coma or becoming severely mentally impaired) but that doesn't actually serve as consent in an individual that is not capable, legally, of consenting.

Ultimately the question comes down to a few different concepts. Consent, blanket consent, and autonomy. Can you consent to being a no loads refused bottom? Typically yes, but assuming you have the qualifications to do so (things like age, capacity, etc.) Do you have a right to give, or can you ever have an ability to give blanket consent to someone for unspecified future actions? Typically no, not legally, at least in the US. Functionally, many people do this all the time without ever having a second thought. But as we have seen with #metoo, that doesn't necessarily mean that today's consent or blanket consent cannot be tomorrow's rape claim. Of all the screwed up concepts surrounding sex, consent has become a field of landmines of potential reframing. Does that mean every sexual partner will do that to you, no, but anyone who has ever had a relationship end knows, the past has a way of changing colors when people are angry. Calling to check on someone can become controlling. Rough sex can become rape. A high sex drive can become coercion and sexual assault. Or so it seems. We have all had a moment, most likely many, that we did something with out partners that they didn't want done, and they may have went along with it to spare our feelings, to not create a problem, because they were too tired to argue, etc. And that will be one of the first things that will surface when love turns to anger. Essentially, and effectively, we are all guilty of rape and sexual assault under conditions in which even explicit consent isn't a concrete idea and is instead an abstract subject to future revision. That's the cold hard reality. And all of that feeds into the concept of autonomy. Which is the right to choose for ourselves. And really doesn't exist in that scenario. Consent doesn't tangibly exist and is ultimately in the eye of the beholder to the experience. You can be a Dom top using a bottom, a bottom being used by a top, a consenting sexual partner, or anything you choose to be in any sexual situation. Legally, you don't have the ability to do what you say, to give blanket consent to tops to do with you as they please to get off on being used. But functionally, that's what everyone is already doing. Every top is or is not using you, and every bottom is and is not being used. It's all about how any of the participants choose to see thebsexual situation. At least in the future after the event. And, in that context, if we look at Kavanagh and Ford (Supreme Court nominee and rape accuser) both are 100% correct about what did or did not happen. TLDR, in short, fantasy is now reality, you already have whatever experience you choose to say that you have had with someone. Even if it didn't actually happen. Welcome to a world that has completely divorced itself from the concept of reality being shared experience.

Don't make it a mission. This is called performance anxiety and it can snowball. Have sex for fun and cum if you want to, or not. Women fake orgasm all the time, you can still give a bottom the hot experience without giving him a load. Just enjoy the ride. Sometimes it really is all about who you're doing and not what you're doing. If you're monogamy oriented and you're out banging random, you're just not going to get there. Hottest piece of ass in the world will do nothing for you without a strong emotional connection. Fear will fuck up fucking. There are some people who get off on fear. Exhibitionists, for example, frequently get off on the fear of being exposed, of being caught, of the consequences for their "deviant" behavior. Cheaters, as another example, frequently get off on the fear of losing it all, on getting caught, etc. Fear is a great motivator, but for most people that's to stop doing what they are doing, not to cum. If you're seriously hung up on not catching something, and the guy in front of you who just gleefully agreed to your bare dick is causing you concern, and the letters "STD, STI, HIV, AIDS, HEP C, etc" are flashing through your mind like neon warning signs, no, you're not going to cum. Sexual Health Education is Great, but it's not Sex Ed. You passed the class on disease avoidance and knowing the parts, their role, how they work, and what goes where, yay! You didn't, however learn shit about sex. You were given lots of information that generalized and simplified a very complex act that's as different as every single person doing it. While there are similarities and commonalities, it's not just all insert Tab A into slot B and move in and out until ejaculation. That's basically how it works, but that's like describing eating as insert food into mouth, chew, and swallow. Yep, that's the mechanics of it, but that's got nothing to do with why we eat what we choose to eat, why we have favorite foods, etc. Sexual experience is way different. It takes people a long time to get there, and along the way you may have a lot of bad sex until you find your happy place. And you're not the only one, there's a lot of "hot sex" talk, but that's all it is, talk. What they are having may easily be shit that they wouldn't admit to under penalty of death. Instead, they Polish the turd and tell the tale. And that's about 80 of how the world works.

Things I've learned as an unattractive fat slut: Man tits/moobs are probably the best thing in the world. Bi guys like them, bi girls like them, lesbians like them, straight guys are intrigued by them, and a fair number of gay guys find them intriguing. I look back and wonder if all the times someone made fun of them as a kid, they had a hard on while doing so. Uber sexy men can't fuck for shit. I haven't met a 9 or 10 yet who isn't either a premature ejaculator, or has more than a rudimentary insert, thrust, repeat, and cum ability. I like getting fucked by them just for the lol. As bottoms, hot guys tend to either not know they are hot, or have hit the cum dump qualities expressed here. Small endowed guys are rarely anything short of amazing. And no matter how low you rank on their attractiveness scale, they will still throw a mean fuck. The only bad sex I've ever really had has been with used to be hot guys. They tend to just get weird, like it's an act of desperation to even show up, but then they go one of two ways, they either become sadistic (not a bad thing) or leave in a huff as if their ego just fucking lost all ability to deal with "what they have been reduced to." Being less attractive has its perks, not the least of which is meeting people at a level of openness that would otherwise be closed off if they found you more attractive. There tends to be this genuine quality about the interaction where, because you don't intimidate them causing them to front a more wholesome facade, you tend to get to the point faster and not pussy foot around. If they have a fetish you'll know about it quickly. If they like rough sex, they won't hold back. If they're about to cum, they just fucking cum. The only downside I've seen, and kid of touched on above, then dudes fuck without attraction, there is occasionally a rapey vibe to the sex, it's all about them and their orgasm, and they don't really give two shits about consent. While I find that hot, and have had more than a few things done to me that were like "wow, I would have at least asked or warned first, but okay, whatever, you do you," I can definitely understand how some guys would struggle with that. As an unattractive bottom you can end up dealing with a shit ton of people's personal shit. Sex being one of the most vulnerable actions between two people can drudge up a lot of emotional baggage. Especially rage and hurt feelings. I've had hookups turn into therapy sessions more times than I can count. Divorced guys, guys who just lost their jobs, guys in bad relationships, guys in tough situations, I have probably about as much experience as your local bartender in hearing someone's side of their life's problems. I've seen lots of guys cry, and seen the downside of this whole "str8 acting, man up, don't be a pussy" thing. Put them in the right situation and guys who don't even really have "problems" can end up bawling like babies and getting a hell of a lot of catharsis to the stress of feeling like they have to always "be the man."

On behalf of tops everywhere, thank you. I get that physically I'm not everyone's cup of tea so I may be having a vastly different experience than most, but you would not believe the value that someone who "gets it" has at this point. So, thank you for being out there and being a proactive and engaging bottom. From my experience, guys like you (the hope of meeting one at least) are the only thing keeping me from staying home and jerking one out.

And one more thing for interaction, focus on the guy in the room with you, not on getting the next guy. I get that guys want to be all Dawson Fifty Load Weekend, and you're trolling through hundreds of guys to make that happen, and that you may need to interact with them while I am fucking you, but they can wait a minute, you don't need to give them a response in 10seconds, and I shouldn't be ignored while you're cruising for more cock.

Depends on what "too long" is, and sometimes we forget that guys aren't machines that just just drop a load in 30 seconds or less. So let's assume, for instance, that you're moving into 15 minutes to 20minute territory as your average time to cum, as typical is 10 minutes +/-5. There's a host of things to consider. Age, environment, presentation, lubricant, and interaction to name a few common ones that I've run across that will slow an already slow to cum me into "probably not gonna happen" territory. As a guy in his 30s, age isn't a strong issue for me, but as guys age, they need a little more stimulation and excitement to pop. Environment can be a big one, yapping dogs, TV on non-porn, blaring radios, shitty neighborhoods, blaring sirens, screaming kids, strange smells, strong smells, hoarding, filth, excessive heat or humidity, proximity to others (neighbors, people I know, lurkers to the action, etc), anything that will make someone feel unsafe, uncomfortable, creeped out, paranoid, or like they are walking into a bad situation can all slow me down and keep me distracted. Not expecting white glove cleanliness in a well appointed room in a perfect house in a gated community, but I think we can all say we've had that experience where walking through the front door left you wanting a shower or to turn and run. I'd I feel like I'd have a better time and less need for a tetanus shot rolling around at the landfill, you're probably not getting my load. Presentation is another area where guys seem to think they can be slobs as well. I like bigger guys, we're not talking about just being overweight (though that can also be an issue for some tops, especially if you've lied significantly in your profile), but guys who's personal appearance and/or hygiene leaves a lot to be desired, who are so high they can't function or are spastic, are wearing frilly panties or thongs, those can all slow me down or send me running for the exit. And finally, interaction. This is where guys can do the most idiotic things that ruin a good lay. Some guys start from the beginning with "cum in me," and it's like they never let up on asking for the load, and it's like, "can you give me a fucking minute to get there without sounding like a kid in a toy store who won't take no for an answer? Conversely, there are the dead fish guys, completely corpse like with zero feedback whatsoever who miss all the cues that I need a little verbal or noise to get me over the top,the guys who are just non-resoinsive to things like "yeah, I'm getting close," "do you want my load," "you like that dick," etc. Then there are the guys who play 20 questions, similar to fucking while playing Jeopardy, they ask the most bizarre things that do nothing but make you stop and figure out what they just said because the question isn't remotely sexual or sexy time appropriate, or volunteer things like we're supposed to be debating shit on The View. Then there's the guy who "tries to help" a little too much. Yeah, offering a tighter hole may help some guys, but if you clamp down like a vice grip, you just slowed it down, not speeded it up. Also, if you've been fairly passive and suddenly go all take charge turbo power bottom, you're going to fuck up my rhythm and make my cock fall out. Those are the common things I've seen bottoms do to fuck up a situation. But one more thing to consider, some guys just don't pump and dump efficiently. I, for one, am not a three pump chump, 5minute warrior, 10minute lay, or a 15minute marathon. On a good day, horny as fuck, three day load, good mesh of excellent conditions, am still going to take about 20minutes. Guys like me, well, relax, enjoy the ride, I warned you ahead of time this wasn't going to be quick, so don't keep asking "if I came yet" like some snot nosed brat on a road trip.

This kind of perfectly sums up most of my issues with "barebacking" as opposed to "condoming." We've made a fetish out of normal sexual behavior and normalized a fetish. And done so to an extent we keep criminalizing normal sexual behavior, diluted consent to the point that we have to mother may I every fucking part of the experience to avoid going to prison, diluted rape to the point that the majority of men are either rapists or "rapey," and I don't think a single guy here (or anywhere else, under the terms set forth by the DOJ, can honestly say they have never committed sexual assault one way or another. At least, not if you've ever had an enjoyable (for either party, sexual encounter. What we are essentially advocating is mutual masturbation in the exact way someone else wants. Don't deviate from a pre-written script, don't ad lib, don't make a wrong move, don't dare to "get into the moment," and oh, by the way, make sure you're providing a porn star, rock my world, blow my mind and load orgasm. Holy shit guys, we (as a community) railed for decades to get rid of crimes against nature laws for the explicit reason that it legislated sexual behavior and placed government in our bedrooms (gay, straight, bi, trans, or whatever else alike), and now we sit and advocate for putting them back in? Oh but this time it's only because of a set of behaviors "we (some of us) find objectionable." Really? REALLY?! At what point do we realize that this panic and "there should be a law against that" mentality about morally objectionable behavior only hurts people, doesn't fix anything, and becomes yet another celebrity victim space? One more way for otherwise useless people to have their 15 minutes of fame while punishing someone they just didn't like and/or care about. To think that this changes sexual behavior or makes the world a better place is delusional.

I would think that you would most likely find self esteem a poor indicator of bareback likelihood. Self esteem is a byproduct of other components of self, and while you might see some correlation, it's likely to have a high number of false positives if you try to use that as a litmus. Now, there are mental health issues in which you are more likely to see risk taking behavior including bareback sex. As a previous poster mentioned they were bipolar, that should come with an asterisk regarding the association. First, that is for someone who is unmedicated, and second, barebacking would be a manic trait. Bipolar mania is usually accompanied by what looks like high self esteem, bipolar depression is usually accompanied by what looks like low self esteem. As someone who's ridden the bipolar merry-go-round, as a sexual partner, manic is when indiscriminate barebacking occurs, depression is often a social interaction shutdown on all fronts and having sex at all is so low on the priority list, it's not really worth mentioning. So, while bareback might occur during depression, and depression is connected with low self esteem, it's a nonsequitor. Sure, if you wanted to deal with fucking someone who hasn't showered, cleaned out, changed the sheets, etc., bareback is on the table, but it's not recommended. It's kinda nd of rape adjacent, like screwing someone who is unable to consent. The sexual behavior of a person who is bipolar is also out of touch with reality, both because of the high highs and low lows, and because they end up unable to separate fact from fiction. Whore by reading 50 Shades of Gray, prude by reading the Bible, their perception of self changes on a dime and facts are subjective. Like, "I'm a good mother, he's a good kid, and I've only slept with 10 guys, I'm not a slut or a whore" and "I threw the bastard out, he's just my stepson anyway, why should I support his loser ass, he's just going to jail anyway; I slept with 8 guys this week, none with a condom, two in a parking lot separately minutes apart, three guys in exchange for drugs," came out of a friend in a matter of like 48 hours. While I did fuck a bipolar ex during depression, once and only once, it was absolutely the worst sex ever. "Not that into it," doesn't been to describe it. More like, "not sure if you still have a pulse." Also the first time I had been with someone who was bipolar, and had no clue what I was getting into and sex was their idea, as an ex had left them for refusing sex during a depression and they were trying to avoid compounding depression with abandonment. Narcissistic personality disorder is also a good indicator of bareback likelihood, but that's usually going to be as a top, as narcissists tend to be "alpha males" and typically engage in presenting a hyper masculine facade. NPDs tend to have lots of low self esteem issues that they mask by exhibiting high self esteem, and, because of their machiavalian traits, tend toward abusing others to read the nforce that "self esteem" (in quotes because it's not self esteem, just an appearance). Cheating (as cheater or as the person cheated with), bareback, stealthing, tampering with birth control, poking holes in condoms, removing condoms, enticing someone into an inebriated state and taking advantage of them, date rape drugs, abuse of power or status, risky sex, public sex, BDSM, PNP, the list goes on and on, are all more likely with someone who is narcissistic. Lack of empathy causes both a lack of connection with others and a lack of respect for others, the combo of which swings the door wide open for risk taking, but again, not exactly because of self esteem. The bigger issue is that someone who is narcissistic has other issues going on, only part of which is self esteem. Their connections with others and their ability to experience pleasure requires that they frequently change partners and constantly "up the ante" to get pleasure. Pleasure derived by a narcissist comes from deceiving, harming, humiliating, and destroying others. So in either case, if you're trying to predict bareback behavior based on perceived self esteem, you're going to discard a lot of people. Many who will gleefully say one thing in their profiles, while doing something else entirely in practice.

Ummm, you might want to specify your username. This just opens to the my favorite videos of whoever clicks the link.

Well, found How It Spreads, I remember it, and not what I was looking for. Thanks though! Guess my biggest issue is that I long ago forgot the correct title.

How it Spreads may be one I have been looking for as well. The one I'm looking for, specifically, is a MM/MMF/MMMFF series that starts with a MM hookup between a bi poz guy and a bi married guy and ends in a drug fueled bi orgy with a pregnant woman. It's written first person from the bi Poz guy's perspective and has a Joe Friday "just the facts" vibe to it. I used to cum buckets reading that one.

That becomes a difficult question to answer. For me, I'm fine with it, face or not. I had a guy (way back as a baby gay, as in 19 and single digits of experience) who left his webcam on while we had sex and then told me about it afterwards. I was a mixed bag of reactions on it. Part of me was pissed, part of me was turned on. Part of me was relieved that it was a webcam, part of me knew anyone watching could have recorded it. Part of me wanted to punch him in the face, part of me somehow liked him more for doing it. I hit the top of the fence on that one, and didn't know which way I would fall off. I ended up going with the idea that, while I wouldn't have said yes if he asked and would have had a hundred or more objections whether it was an open webcam or a video recording, I kind of appreciated that he did it without asking for my consent. Strange, but I felt more comfortable with knowing after the fact, about not having a choice and not feeling self conscious about the camera. It ended up being kind of like losing one's virginity, lots of build up to the moment and no big deal after it happens. Then it, in a way, became a turn on. I began to assume everyone I have sex with might be recording it. Which is strangely exciting. Flash forward 15 years, we're still friends, and I'm even friends with his wife. He also kept his love of recording, so I have pics that would destroy his life, one's his wife knows nothing about. She thinks he just jerks off to gay porn. She has no idea how much more is going on. But I do. Which is kind of hot on a whole different level.

Eh, as a cock sucker I tend to max out at different times on different guys, based on how much effort is going into it on my part. Long and/or thick wears me out a lot faster that short and/or thin. Typically I can extend out the amount of time I can go for by "coming up for air" and moving my jaw around a bit. But that's only good up to a certain point. Or maybe I'm just doing it wrong or I have bad form. Or I just don't get the same amount of practice that I used to. But any more than 20 minutes of continuous, non-stop oral on an average dick will pretty much mean I'm eating soup for the next 24 hours or so, and my neck is probably a bit sore.