ErosWired

There are some people who are simply voyeurs. It’s not that they have an alternative idea of what constitutes sex - they just like to watch. There’s some recent research into sociosexuality (willingness to engage in non-commital sexual activity) as a predictor of voyeuristic and exhibitionistic behavior, which notes a positive correlation between sociosexuality and these behaviors, more notably among men (go figure). Given this, and given that sex clubs, bathhouses, and other places of communal sexual opportunity are by their nature going to attract sociosexual individuals in much greater numbers than those who are not, it is to be expected, then, that a higher proportion of non-participant voyeurs and exhibitionists would appear as well, as a subset of sociosexual individuals. It’s worth noting, by the way, that both voyeurism and exhibitionism, when they reach the level of being diagnosed as paraphilia disorders, share a diagnostic criteria that the person is not actually interested in having sex with the people they’re watching/displaying to. It’s not just that they’re perversely deciding to hold out - the not having sex is a feature. Here’s the study, if anyone is interested. A bit technical, but interesting: ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8275528/ Also interesting, by the way, are some recent studies demonstrating that people can identify sociosexual men by their facial features, with accuracy significantly greater than chance. So there may actually be something to it when a guy says he can “just tell” when another guy is an easy fuck.

Yes. If you don’t respond to his next text three seconds sooner than the laws of physics actually allow, you’re automatically an asshole who’s fucking rude and blowing him off.

I have not, of course, been able to provide service during these pandemic years at anything like the level I had been, and the change has underscored to me a reality that I know is inevitable - the time when I’m really too old to do it in any practical way. Even if I wanted to, there will come a time when this body will no longer be suited to the task, and I gradually get the sense that I don’t have all that much time left. (Mind you, I’ve been feeling like I’ve been making up for lost time ever since I started mansex at 37.) The thing is, I was trained for this, pretty intensively - intentionally shaped to be a man who understands that his sexual purpose is to provide his body for any man to fuck. So if and when the day comes when I no longer feel that I can fulfill that purpose, I don’t know what will be left in its place but purposelessness. I don’t know that a man in my particular role “matures” out of it, because I can’t imagine what shape it takes afterward.

I used to have some solo vids from my younger years up on XTube, no longer of course, but I’m sure they exist somewhere out there in people’s private download collections. I know I was filmed in one of my early private scenes because I remember seeing the red recording light of the camera glowing. I haven’t tried to put anything up in recent times, but I’ve been filmed for sure. I can’t count the number of times guys have fucked me with their cell phones in their hands. At IML I was absolutely filmed, because the guy brought the Tops in for the purpose of filming them power-fucking a cumdump. No idea where that ended up. No one ever asks my permission to do it, they just film. I think they must just assume that a man who has no more self-respect than to let strangers rut his hole doesn’t have a sense of shame and doesn’t require any consideration. Fortunately, I’m not particularly photogenic, and thus not a very tempting target for illicit pornsters. The OP’s question, however is not have I ever been filmed, but would I? Would I take part in a pornographic film that would see widespread public release? I think not. But would I risk appearing in something that would likely remain part of the underground sea of fuckumentary filmmaking? Given the opportunity, probably.

I was married to a woman for 17 years. I loved her then, and I love her still, and as she is the mother of my children we are still bound as family. It would never have occurred to me to cheat on her, and I never did, not once. She left not because I was unfaithful, but because we proved incompatible, in her view, though not in mine. I do not share your view about cheating being in any way “hot”. I condemn it.

On the one hand, I don’t cross-dress, so can’t speak to that area of your question. On the other, I’m a father of two, and bringing a child into the world rearranges your priorities in a radical way, very, very quickly. Unless, of course, you’re a piece of shit for a parent. When the child appears, the calculus changes - your life is no longer all about you anymore. There’s a growing, developing human being who cannot fend for itself, and you brought it to this hostile environment. It’s on you to ensure that that new person gets needs met and gets the best possible running start at launching off into life. And God knows it ain’t easy. Will you have to give up putting on women’s clothes and taking cock from strangers? Possibly, for a while. It will depend on what impact that activity might have on the child. Does it risk the destruction of the family unit the child depends on? If so, then, yes, you probably need to suck it up for a while and be a dad instead of a sissy slut. You bought the dad ticket, now you’re on the dad train. (It never really comes to a stop, but it will slow down in about 18-21 years.) I realize that telling you that you may need to set aside an aspect of your sexuality for a time seems like a steep order. But I can also tell you what can happen if you don’t. If your spouse (I’m assuming spouse, though you only call her “your girl”) learns of your behavior and decides that she isn’t willing to put up with that, you could face a breakup of the relationship - regrettable for you, but catastrophic for a child who will not be raised with both parents. Yes, it happens all the time, and children survive. But I’m not speaking theoretically. I’m speaking from experience. My two grew up in two separate houses on shared time, and it has hurt them. Only you can decide what your priorities are, and where your values lie. Only you can tell how much you’re willing to sacrifice for the love of your child. I don’t envy you the choices you have to face. I do congratulate you on your coming fatherhood.

The OP’s initial question made mo reference to bugchasing, and while it’s legitimate to respond here in terms of whether that aspect of the site is to any degree real, this is the General discussion forum, not the Backroom. Discussion of someone’s bugchasing philosophy belongs there, not here, and certainly a link to information about an event with the inference that it will be an opportunity for chasing does not belong here. Put that in the Backroom. To the OP’s actual question, after you have spent some time on the site, you will begin to develop a feel for what accounts are (at least mostly) true, and which (a sizable percentage) are bullshit. The number of cocks described as 8” and over in these posts is a statistical impossibility; there aren’t enough cocks that size on the planet to account for the proportion of claims made here. Therefore we know some narratives are at the very least exaggerated, if not invented out of whole cloth. You can often get a sense from incongruities in plot or detail, anachronisms, or simply descriptions that are just too built-up to be something drawn from memory. There’s a lot of fiction that gets ‘misplaced’ on the discussion forums instead of being put in the fiction area. Not all unusual stories are false, however. My sexual life has been (it would seem) rather more adventurous than average, and I take great pains to tell only and exactly what happened to me in my posts, because I know that I already run a significant risk of being disbelieved just on the basis of my truth. If I were to indulge in unnecessary exaggeration, I would likely cause readers to cease to credit my accounts at all. As it is, when I say on this site that something happened to me, you may believe that it is something that really happened in the world.

Hypocrisy, thy name is Mitch McConnell. And I’m a Kentuckian. And no, I did not vote for the son of a bitch.

Um…dude? He does need to be sexually aware and careful, and he does owe it to the men he plays with to be honest about his status and practices. If he was last tested in April, he’s only just now at the point where he should be going back for a quarterly check, so I don’t call that a “long time” - most guys don’t get an STD screening more often than quarterly unless they think they’ve had an exposure. I can see talking a friend down from a panic, and even possibly counseling him for a better time to do a test when he was is a more sober frame of mind, but it sounds like you’re contemplating talking him out of testing altogether and talking him out of having open conversations with his hookups about sexual safety. Which is not what I would want from any buddy of mine. If you want to prevent him from spazzing out in the future, the solution’s dead simple - get him on PrEP so he can fuck much more safely and have much more reassuring conversations with potential hookups. If there’s nothing to dress him down about, there won’t be any. And he won’t feel the need to have an OraQuick after every bare shag. It’s not rocket science.

I’m not a gym rat or anything - far from it. It’s probably just as well, because any time I do anything that even remotely resembles exercising for the sake of exercising, I usually end up feeling the need to purge built-up sexual energy. It’s really kind of annoying. I’d like to be able to think about exercising without needing to budget in the time to arrange an orgasm at the end. Am I odd in this, or do other people experience this too? I know men on here sometimes comment on hookups in gyms after working out (I’ve never exercised at a gym), but is that just a function of the guys simply being there as an opportunity, or is it something about the working out that sends to looking?

Bearing this in mind, best practice involves not completely removing the sound from the cock on the out-draw, but stopping just before exit and then dropping back inward again. If one only removes the sound completely in order to switch to a different size (sterile) sound, one minimizes the potential for incidental contamination.

Ha!

No. The right to determine whether a woman should have legal sovereignty over her own body cannot be returned to the states because the right has never justly belonged to the states. A human being’s right to determine what happens to his or her own body is the absolutely fundamental individual human right, and must not be subject to the whims of the political majority. If the patchwork of state legislative overreach shows us anything at all, it is that states individually can be expected to support the national Constitution on when it is convenient to them - fundamental rights must be safeguarded by the Federal Constitution for precisely this reason. A line has to be drawn in the sand that says: This far, and no further; behind this line, the rights are inalienable; you may not touch them.

In light of the “sad” reaction this previous mention elicited above, and given the admittedly extreme nature of the activity, I feel I should hasten to mention that this was by no means a cruel or abusive act done by coercion or against my will. It came only after years of a complex Dominant/submissive relationship based on a mutual interest in experimental training, and a deep mutual trust developed over many, many scenes. Plus, he was trying to achieve a specific goal in my training, and employed unconventional methods throughout, with my full participation. The scene mentioned above was in fact a moment of significant success for both of us, and one in which I took pride as a submissive - I just don’t recommend it to anyone else. This all may seem somewhat tangential to the OP’s inquiry, but I think it worth mentioning in terms of the divergence we often encounter when men in the “vanilla” sexual sphere encounter practices more normally found on the fringes, in the kink/fetish community and/or the BSDM lifestyle (the two are not always mutually inclusive). In my experience, men with little exposure to practices beyond traditional sex acts may find themselves curious - sometimes intensely - about a practice like sounding, but feel inhibited about trying it because of a sense that it’s what “those people” do. They needlessly deprive themselves of mind-broadening experiences because of either a misconception, a lack of information, stigma about kink or BDSM, or a combination of these. When I encounter such men, I try to reassure them that trying something like sounding is very like trying a new ride at an amusement park. It’s an adventure, and when it’s over, you go home - you don’t have to live in the amusement park from then on. But if you like it, you can always come back.

Yes. I had an excruciatingly painful anal fissure caused by a too-large plug being forced into my ass too quickly. Conservative measures were not effective, and I finally underwent an outpatient surgical procedure to repair the tear. I abstained from anything that could compromise the repair for a full six weeks, and recovered completely. Since then, I have gradually - gradually, mind you, never, ever forgetting that I once had a tear - worked on stretching my hole to take bigger cocks so I that I’ve never had to tap out on a fuck no matter how big the cock, and a few weeks ago finally took my first fist. Now that I’m that flexible down there, I don’t think I need worry about another fissure. Yes, complete recovery is possible. But don’t rush the recovery.

Well. Just when you think you’ve heard it all. At first I thought you were going to tell us he was trying to use a catheter to introduce his urine into your bladder, and I was relieved when I realized that wasn’t the case - but still…

Tsk. Sir! I’m surprised at such a comment from you. Allow me to gently remind you that submissives are men, not children, and we are quite experienced at handling our own genitalia. Indeed, the notion that any Dominant would understand my body’s response to pain or any sort of manipulation better than I would myself is laughable. And to be candid, if I were to make a recommendation to someone wanting to try sounding but nervous about it, I would recommend he have a submissive apply it on him rather than a Dominant. I would much rather have it done by someone who has had a foot of steel down his own cock first.

Are you even listening? There are no equivalent “sets of facts” that are subject to opinion. There are only the facts, and they don’t belong to a political party. This is exactly my point. How you “feel” about a fact is irrelevant. Feelings are not facts. Our nation is suffering mightily right now because so many people have substituted feeling for thinking. Butthurt does not make something magically true.

I’m confused. You say that neither your masculinity nor the fact that you Top define you - yet the entirety of your post is about how you distinguish yourself from the men around you by your dominant masculinity and your love of Topping. The only question you really ask is whether your perception of yourself - your self-definition - as a dominant Top who loves to dominate other Tops puts you in a minority as defined by what constitutes a majority. So it seems as though, at least for purposes of this inquiry, your masculinity and your Topping are actually quite central to your self-definition.

Factual information. There continues to be this absurd notion that “alternate facts” should be given equal weight with actual facts. Where you can document a fact with credible evidence, quoted matter in context, and other objective, empirical proof, then make a case and claim a fact. Disagreeing with a fact doesn’t make it not a fact. Disliking a fact doesn’t make it not a fact. Likewise, having a wild-ass conspiracy theory based on “proof” that isn’t provable, logic that isn’t logical, and “evidence” that isn’t evident doesn’t make what the conspiracy theorist pulls out of his ass a fact. There is an evidentiary basis for truth, and for fact, often solidly grounded in scientific method. If you want to make your case for some fact or other (one assumes it will be a “Republican fact”, since you draw the distinction) be sure you’ve got your evidence solid. To be candid, the standard-bearer for the Republican Party has painted the party with a ve-e-e-ry broad brush to resemble himself, and he is a proven habitual liar (30,573 documented public falsehoods in office), so you can’t be terribly surprised if people don’t take Republicans’ word on much of anything anymore and expect a bit more evidence.

As far as sounds’ use in a BDSM setting goes, that’s true, but sounds aren’t strictly BDSM gear - many people use them simply as a type of alternative solo or fetish play, or even simply a kind of advanced masturbation. Without a doubt, one man penetrating another’s phallus right down to his very core is an exercise in power exchange. In some ways it can feel like an even more profoundly intimate violation than breeding - a male is deeply penetrated in the very organ he would himself use to penetrate. But solo play need not involve that dynamic, and can simply be about the pleasurable sensations one gives oneself. Although my introduction to sounding was certainly in the BDSM sphere and very much in the context you describe, I think it would be inaccurate to suggest that the practice is limited to it, or requires a second person whose participation might alter the experience. I will suggest that one’s first try at it is probably best with the assistance of someone practiced, but that experience need not be of a BDSM nature.

Aaaand in the news today, some phlebotomists from testing labs LabCorp and Quest are refusing to draw blood from suspected Monkeypox patients. I mean, it’s not like they took a job to test for diseases or something… [think before following links] https://www.cnn.com/2022/08/03/health/monkeypox-blood-phlebotomists/index.html

I might add that my former Master used to say that anything a man said “never” to, he would have him doing it within seven sessions. I was always a little skeptical of that, but to be fair, this is a man who persuaded me to let him run a .18 gauge needle through each of my testicles. …Having said that, I feel the need to emphasize that dropping a steel sound down your cock and running a steel needle through your balls are completely different - and utterly opposite - experiences. I recommend trying the former; the latter, not so much.

Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. I’ve gotten that reaction a lot from guys who ask about it and then get bug-eyed when they watch me drop a foot-long metal rod down my cock. It’s like, Hey, man, I always wanted to try that - oh shit nope nope nope nope I’ve yet to meet one that actually tried it and said he wished he hadn’t. Mostly they don’t say anything, they’re too busy with their mouths hung open and their eyes rolled back. It can be done safely if you exercise basic precautions and perform it sensibly with good equipment.

Let’s make sure you’ve got your terminology straight to start with. Unless there’s a physically insurmountable obstacle that inconveniently pops up every time you try to set a Grindr hookup, it’s not that you can’t - it’s that you don’t. Because for whatever unnecessary reason, you won’t. Several of the posts above lead you in the right direction by suggesting that you dig into your head and figure out what your actual hangup is. No one here can fix this problem for you. You have to have a sit-down with yourself, confront whatever fear it is that holds you back, and resolve to push past it. You can agree with yourself to try it once and if you don’t like it, you never have to do it again. But at some point, you simply have to try.