ErosWired

What is it about using the internet that makes people think that somehow choices made electronically have no consequences? You can’t just delete your actions in real life; you can’t un-say things to people. You can’t un-ring a bell. If you’re going to say a thing in public, say it with courage and conviction, and stand by it. If you can’t, don’t say it. Whatever you do, do it with a good will so that you will have no cause for regret. And if you do find that you have done or said something that will cause you embarrassment, the last thing you should do is bray about it until absolutely everybody knows.

I’ve posted about this previously, but BBRT deactivated my account because my username, the same one I use here - and the one I had been using on BBRT for nearly three years - contained the word ‘wired’. Apparently their word filter decided ‘wired’ was a code word for drug use. They were willing to reactivate the account if I changed my username. When I emailed the site to say that I use the same username on all my adult sites and am identified by it, the “Pigmaster” personally responded to tell me that I had to change my name and if I said anything else about it whatsoever my account would be deleted. I had just paid for a six-month membership. On another occasion I has a QuickConnect ad deleted and received a warning because I had mentioned that I would still be there in the morning - which they said constituted an ad for an event on another day. Do not be under any illusion that the management of that site cares about its members. They want your money, and once they have it, you can kiss their ass. They run the place by capricious and arbitrary rules, with no tolerance for error, and if you don’t like it, too bad so sad, there are a dozen horny fucks just like you to take your place when they cut you off. If the kind of customer relationship I’ve experienced is at all common with them, I can’t imagine how they’re still solvent.

Half a tic - first you attempt to educate us as to why the “superannuated” (one is inclined to giggle) aren’t fresh enough for your privileged phallus, and then we learn that: So essentially you’re also a superannuated fag, one with an evident self-esteem deficit, and you want us all to look at ourselves as shittily as you look at yourself. Hard pass. You can keep your ‘reality’ to yourself.

I’m highly dubious of this. First of all, setting aside the gimmick of “dad and a son getting fucked together” as a draw, you’re just talking about two bottoms trying to lure Tops to a gangbang. There’s no reason to expect the usual things not to happen: 75%-80% no-show rate even if you do manage to stir up any interest, plus you’ll be up against every other cumdump in the city trying to lure Tops that night, the same as any night. Secondly, you say you know a Top would have to get off “knowing” he’d dicked down a dad with his son watching. I think that’s your fantasy talking out loud. In reality, and the lurid accounts on this tawdry forum notwithstanding, incest is simply not that common a practice, and those who do it normally don’t advertise the fact, let alone use it as a party enticement. How many of those Tops do you think are actually going to believe the two of you are related? I wouldn’t believe that claim from anybody under those circumstances. So essentially you’d have to find a bunch of Tops willing to role play a fantasy scenario that everyone actually knows perfectly well is a fantasy scenario. Assuming they didn’t get weirded out by the two of you actually pretending to be a parent and child. You may possibly be overlooking the degree to which incest is considered unacceptable by a large percentage of the population. You’d be attempting to draw from a limited subset of the Tops available, most of whom will likely get intercepted by other cumdumps, and of the remaining handful (if the number amounts to a handful) eight out of ten of them are going to flake. And then, if any make it through the door, the fact that you and your “son” probably don’t appear to be family may drive home the sense that this is isn’t really a dad and son at all, just another couple of bottoms looking for loads. Plus, I’m saying all this assuming you’re not actually proposing to attempt to deceive all these Tops into believing that you really are a father and son - because if that’s the idea I would advise you to recognize the idea for the fantasy that it is and leave it at that.

You are of course correct, and I knew that. Don’t know why I ended up typing it that way - the devil made me do it? Yes, and I almost included that as an additional notable example. Please don’t think that any of my comments attempt to characterize all satanists - stereotyping is a meaningless exercise because individuals are far too variable. From my perspective, any person who has chosen to follow the Lefthand Path are seekers just as those who look to religion are seekers, and their psychological motivations are understandably human. I may not personally be able to put my own brain in a place where I can fully understand them, but I can’t wrap my head around Trump supporters either, and I know which of the two groups I consider a greater threat to society. (Sorry, satanists, but in terms of quintessential evil, the Orange Antichrist makes Baphomet look like a tame billy at a children’s petting zoo.) And sometimes the soup in the can is what’s printed on the label. The risk of my including this anecdote was that I couldn’t supply all the relevant bbackstory and subsequent developments without bogging it all down. We had a couple of subsequent private sessions with Devilspawn in which his practice of some form of satanism became clear. I cannot tell you whether he had a grasp of what constitutes what you and I might acknowledge as the ethics of satanism, but his predilections concerned my Master to the extent that he would not give Devilspawn permission to fuck me. And my Master is a Sadist. I have, I think, commented elsewhere on the forum about the irony of the fact that my former Master, a calculating Sadist apparently numb to any sort of sympathetic reaction to the pain experienced by the subjects of his acts, is also a deeply caring and humane person, a first responder, staunch protector of children, and Samaritan for the dispossessed and downtrodden. Aside from the fact that he drove .18 gauge needles through my testicles and deliberately shaped my psychology into that of a cumdump faggot, he’s one of the finest human beings I know. The difference between his application of the vile stool and Devilspawn’s was that he was doing it as a public demonstration (with my full participation) and not for his own fulfillment, and he cared for my wellbeing before, during and after. Devilspawn seized the opportunity to essentially violate me to the greatest extent he could in plain view of the audience and relish the ability to do so, not only not caring about my discomfort, but doing whatever he could to exploit it. Mind you, it wasn’t so overt or egregious that my Master felt the need to intervene; much of what I understood about him from that scene came from his movements and expressions as he worked, and as they transmitted into my body through that dildo. I didn’t have to guess at his intent, his motivation, or his level of enjoyment - I could feel them.

Not at all. How you define what is ethical depends on how you define what is good, and value judgment is highly variable. Even among LeVay’s core principles for satanists one finds positions that are ethical by almost any standard - for instance, the injunction “Do not harm children.” A philosophy that prioritizes the satisfying of individual personal desires and the pursuit of pleasure and the sating of lust, however, necessarily places the individual in the position an some point of choosing to do so at the expense or to the detriment of another person - it is the nature if the world that resources and opportunities are limited and not everyone gets everything. It is at this point the man walking the Lefthand Path may find himself less burdened by the sort of ethical or moral thinking that constrains a person of a traditional religious, or even humanist, background. I was once used at at BDSM event as a submissive in a public demonstration of a rather diabolical piece of equipment that consisted of a round stool with eyebolts affixed to the legs to keep a sub’s manacled feet from touching the floor, and a bar overhead with attachments fir wrist cuffs. In the center of the stool’s seat was a large hole, through which the end of a very long dildo just emerged. The rest of it was attached to the jack for raising and lowering a car to fix a flat tire. Attached to the jack where a crank would normally be was a power drill. The point was to lock the submissive in place where he could get no leverage, and then impale him from beneath with nearly 14” of dildo as he struggled to pull himself upward and away from it, only to succumb in the end to the implacable force of gravity and the infinite determination of the machine. I say “he” - I got to enjoy that vile stool three times for demonstrations. But I’ll never forget the last one, because there was a young Dominant in the small group who had watched the second demo with absolutely rapt attention. He kept his eyes fixed on me throughout the whole ordeal, watching carefully each thing that was done to fully impale me. When it came time for the third one, I was mildly surprised when my Master told me that that young Dom would be assisting - he had apparently asked for the chance to use the machine on me. He didn’t say much of anything to me as it was happening, but as he was operating the drill, forcing the phallus deep into me, drawing it out, and then forcing it in again, I looked down at him in my torment and saw an expression on his face that radiated joy - and ravenous hunger - and an almost giddy delight in his power over me. I learned later that he went by an online username of Devilspawn. I have often wondered about that man’s state of mind that derived such bliss from publicly torturing me. He found an opportunity to indulge his personal desire, and seized it with both hands - and clearly was not troubled in the slightest that he was inflicting suffering. One might argue that he was unburdened by any ethical restraints.

Judging by the cum hanging off his cock at the start suggesting he’s already spent some load, and judging by the volume and apparent consistency of what’s coming out in those two long isolated shots, I think your guess at piss is closer to the mark. Either way, that Top knows exactly how that bottom’s internal anatomy is arranged and he’s doing targeted strikes. On that link, by the way, when I scrolled down to the related videos, there were a few others of this hands-free sort. I don’t know if you’ve seen them all, but if not you might find something there along the lines you’re looking for.

The OP’s question actually brings me to ask a related question (with the OP’s indulgence - perhaps any response might further inform your own inquiry): From time to time I’ll get a hit on an app, or a text, that instead of saying “Hi” or “What’s up” says “Hail”. I always take this to mean that there is a man who practices satanism (or something he calls satanism) on the other end. I don’t answer these hails. I suppose if I’m being honest, part of it is my Christian background wanting nothing whatsoever to do with the devil, but even after I remind myself that the devil does not actually exist, I’m still left with concern that if I invite this guy through my door I’m consciously inviting someone who has chosen a path with behavioral tendencies that incline him toward sociopathy. Obviously, not every person on the Lefthand Path is a sociopath, but my instinct tells me I’m asking for trouble if I do. What do others do in this situation, when you’re approached by someone who you think may be a satanist?

I think there is often a tendency among those who have not sought a deeper understanding of the subject to equate any form of paganism with satanism, which is of course not so. One can easily follow such thinking to church doctrine that any influence that points a person away from the church is “the work of the devil”. The “Prince of Lies” that we are referring to is specifically a product of the Abrahamic/Judeo-Christian belief systems originating in the Middle East, but paganism may draw upon influences from entirely different sources such as Celtic or Teutonic tradition, or even entirely modern secularist and New Age movements. The common thread appears to be a rejection of the paternalistic, top-down, restrictive, repressive nature of Abrahamic religions as (regrettably) interpreted and practiced by most mainline churches, synagogues and mosques. Those interpretations are not surprising given that, on a social scale, religion is leveraged as a tool to control populations. At the individual level, however, the approach that serves to control the mass fails to meet the needs of the individual, and generates dissatisfaction and doubt. Ultimately, this may lead to personal rejection of the common religion and a search for something that meets the human needs of the individual. Thus, because humans are at first animals whose animal needs must be tended, we find some attracted to LaVeyan satanism, which among its guiding principles is the sense that humans are animal creatures and we are at our best when be align ourselves with the desires if our animal bodies - sex being prominent among them. Forms of paganism likewise celebrate the human connection to earth and nature and the animal world in a way that the Abrahamic beliefs reject. I am a Christian, but I stepped away from the organized church many years ago because it became clear to me that the institutions no longer practiced the actual philosophy of their professed beliefs. I have sought my own spiritual path, and I say spiritual because I do not believe I am first and foremost an animal - an animal body is merely the vehicle that transports my spiritual being during the time I am in this material existence. My personal observation - from the outside - is that satanism seems to predicate itself on the existence of the individual solely as a creature of the material universe. It does not seem to address questions of existence beyond the material, and is therefore less bound by considerations of morals, ethics, and judgments in relation to acts performed in life. Which is actually somewhat ironic, because the whole point of inventing Hell as a place one could be sent to was to deter people from doing amoral and unethical things. But when you’ve rejected the possibility of Heaven altogether to start with, I suppose there’s nothing left to say when tempted but: Eh, what the hell…

If you are asking to what degree the members of this site are adherents to the principles, philosophies, practices or beliefs associated with modern satanism, either atheistic or theistic, I think you will find that those persons are actually relatively few in number; indeed, discussion of it is not encouraged by the site’s management, hence the automated word substitution of ‘Sarah Palin’ for the name in question. While there don’t seem to be all that many here who profess to actually follow the tenets of any of the dogma from this movement, some of the underlying ethos you will encounter here is compatible with the philosophies of LaVeyan satanism and its subsequent developments. It should be noted that the majority of such organized groups are atheistic in nature and neither believe in supernatural beings nor worship demons or devils. Such entities are used, rather, as symbols against which to put forward traits or characteristics considered desirable to the adherents. I won’t attempt to detail the core philosophies of satanist movements here (Wikipedia is your friend) but the generally positive and accepting atmosphere here toward sexual liberty, personal responsibility, and the pursuit of physical gratification align closely with them. That is to say, most of us may not be satanists, but we admittedly share some things in common with them. It should be noted that a person who is drawn by the philosophies of modern satanist doctrine has not thereby automatically become “evil” - rather, he has adopted an amoralist viewpoint, one that places personal interest and personal survival above the communal interest. His attitudes may be asocial or antisocial, and he may not exhibit behaviors that one expects from responsible, participating members of society. To that degree, however much our lusts may resemble one another’s, you will find that most of us are very different.

My father’s best friend was the county attorney here for many years, and he would always comment on how busy court was after a full moon. Apparently a full moon has an effect of some sort on people. I don’t see what the big deal is about it, honestly - on any given night of a month a Top could open the door to my hotel room and be looking right at a full moon. 😀

This could be partly because of the number of them with profiles literally begging for a fuck, Please fuck my ass Please I need loads And not so much trolls as dwarfs - the Seven Dwarfs who give bottoms a bad name: Needy, Greedy, Sketchy, Sleazy, Flakey, Spinny and Nopey (Fun fact - How do these dwarfs greet each other as they walk by? ”Hi, ho. Hi, ho.”)

On the contrary, life works exactly this way, just not the way you characterize it. I believe the principal reason that men beyond a certain age face expectations in various spheres of life is because years lived = life experience. That life experience isn’t necessarily a record of success and achievement, but regardless of the outcome, it’s a set of valuable lessons learned about what it means to be alive, what it means to be an adult, and what it means to be a man. Young men are often excused for folly and indiscretion because they haven’t acquired this quality yet, whether you call it being ‘seasoned’, or having wisdom, or simply maturity. Regardless, there is indisputably a general sense of the qualities and characteristics that differentiate a man from a woman; a man from a boy; a man from a man who has not yet finished maturing. If a man - regardless of his sexual role - exhibits traits that suggest he lacks the emotional maturity of an experienced adult, he must expect there to be some question about it, and possibly some bias regarding it. You and I are both committed submissives. My experience under Dominants is extensive, and I assume yours is also, though I know nothing of your particular circumstances. We appear to differ in at least one respect, however. You say that faced with some Dominants you feel like a little kid. I submit just the same, to Dominants who know how to put the fear if God into you, and I feel inferior - but at no time do I feel like a child. I am 55 - more than half a century old - and what that Dom is about to do to me is totally in the realm of the world of adults. You ask whether a Dominant wouldn’t be more stimulated by his control over a ‘full grown man’ versus a skinny kid, but that’s a false equivalency - if the ‘full grown man’ presents as a whimpering, simpering dishrag, the Dom is unlikely to see him as a ‘full grown man’ at all, but rather as a man whose growth is incomplete. In that sense, the kid may be more tempting simply for his energy and potential, quite aside from the freshness of the flesh. I am known to whimper from time to time, but it only happens when a Top has well and truly fucked me into submission and I’m reduced to a sack of wet fuckmeat and he’s just getting his second wind. It doesn’t happen often. But I still don’t feel like a kid. I feel like a cunt.

‘Hands-free’ is a term often used in this context. I might add, though, that I’m not quite sure how specific a scene you’re looking for after reading your description. You mention wanting a scene where the bottom ejaculates with each stroke of the fuck, but that is only likely to happen under particular circumstances. If the Top is hitting the guy really hard in his prostate, he could possibly be prostate milking him with each thrust, but they would have to be pretty forceful thrusts to get multiple squirting. Or, he could simply, by coincidence, be timing his strokes at the same rate as the bottom’s ejaculatory spasms. Or, perhaps more likely, each forward thrust simply slings the bottom’s cock forward, causing whatever cum that might be coming from it at that moment to seem to appear as a result of the thrust. Otherwise, once the bottom starts to ejaculate, his pumping mechanism is going to fire at its own pace, independent of the rate at which he’s being fucked, so you couldn’t count on that particular aspect in the scene. I’m sure you’ll find something, though. There are enough clips out there showing more or less what you’re looking for that we know it exists. It’s been a long time since anyone brought me to a hands-free ejaculation by fucking. I wouldn’t mind having that happen again sometime myself.

It’s entirely legitimate that a man may not be aroused by another man significantly senior to him, but I look somewhat dubiously at a blanket statement that “older guys don’t turn me on”. The problem with this is the assumption - “if a guy is older than __ he won’t turn me on.” Attraction is always a combination of factors, including what can be observed, and what cannot. Biochemistry plays a role, charisma, confidence, attitude, approach, level of relative fitness, emotional maturity, sense of humor, cock size, any combination of which could trump an age consideration under the right circumstances. Therefore, if these guys with a ‘preference’ look at a profile, see ‘55’ and reject the man sight-unseen, it’s nothing more than judging a book by its cover. It says nothing whatever about the older bottom, but speaks volumes about the lack of discernment on the other end. What does their ‘preference’ amount to if they select a guy not knowing his age, whom they would reject out of hand if he had shared it? The only thing that makes the difference is an ageist set of assumptions masquerading as a ‘preference’. For a man to decline another man after evaluating him is one thing; to suggest, as someone above tells us has been done, that there should be an age limit for bottoming, is prima facie evidence that some people’s ‘preference’ is a mask for something quite different.

When I was a teen I was fairly limber. Limber enough to fold myself over and get my cockhead within millimeters of my lips. I would open my mouth and shoot inside, but was irritated because even at point-blank range I somehow never failed to at least partly miss the target. I was absolutely determined to close my lips around my cock and worked on bending myself lower and lower until I finally managed to autofellate myself - which is a feeling quite unlike any other. (I blame that perverse determination at an early age for the necessity, years later, to have to operations to repair failed discs in my spine. I am now, obviously, no longer able to suck myself off. No great loss - I'm not that good a cocksucker.)

This bears repeating. It's cringe-y.

It doesn't help that some men do pay, and thus encourage this behavior. When I host, I get hit up by one of these dudes as often as not. It makes me laugh. I'm 55 years old and I certainly don't have to pay someone to get fucked. I just put myself out there, hoist my ass in the air, and wait. They come. Him: You generous? Me: I'm only generous with my ass, but you can have as much of that as you want. Without a doubt, older bottoms are not most men's first pick, but they are some men's first pick; and they are other men's second pick; and they are still other men's last resort when all else fails. The question is, is the bottom still going to be there to take the cock, or has he given up and gone home too soon? Has he been too picky in his own way? Has he failed to adjust his own expectations to the reality of his situation? If you can't fuck the one you want, fuck the one you're with.

I’m working my way up to taking my first, and with the diameter of the toys I’m taking I don’t think I’ll have a problem when I get an opportunity with a Top who wants to spend the time to do it. I’m a little concerned, though, about something my local regular Top told me not long ago. He is an experienced fister, has fisted many bottoms, and says that he doesn’t do it much anymore because he mostly enjoys fucking and he finds that once he starts fisting bottoms they lose interest in his cock and are constantly wanting him to fist them instead. I feel a strong need to experience what it feels like to take a fist, so much so that I know that, in time, I eventually will make it happen like I have everything else. It’s also an area in which I do not have the skill needed for me to service a Top if he requests it, and that is unacceptable - it has to be corrected as soon as possible, because my whole purpose is to provide my body in service. By the same token, however, I don’t want to end up the way my local Top describes, so overcome by fists that cock no longer has any meaning. I’m very conscious of the perils of crossing the inhibitory threshold, especially if what I’m doing has lost its sense of newness or excitement. Reaching for something a bit more extreme, a bit more stimulating, a bit more boundary-pushing, may achieve those things, but what was done before will never measure up again, and in time the new experience will lose its luster in its turn, and a need will re-emerge for something still more stimulating, still more extreme. Which is, of course, the pattern of addiction. And the hellish fact is that it’s unsustainable - you eventually reach the point that you’ve done the most stimulating thing there is to do, and even that has lost its edge over time, and for the hunger that grows in you now for something more stimulating…there is nothing left to feed it. So for that reason I fear my first fist, even though I know it’s coming. Cock and cum still fascinate me in all their variety, and more, in the appetites behind them, and I rise to the challenge of servicing each one as unique. I still relish the moment when each precious load is entrusted to my cunt for safekeeping. That service is my duty and my honor, a feeling trained into me, and I never want to lose it. I would hope I could learn to take a fist and simply feel the same way about that service as I do taking cock, but reading the responses to this thread has me worried. It’s possible that only those who are the enthusiastic converts are replying, but the responses are pretty consistent.

That watermelon, though

Ah, but that’s the thing - you do have some thought about it beyond just the physical sensation. I mean, all your posts make it clear that you’re among those Tops who take a more utilitarian view of bottoms, so obviously you don’t fall in with some of the others here who think about the person he’s fucking in romantic - or even humanist - terms, but the views you share about bottoms make it obvious that you get something more than just a physical release from their use. I don’t have a framework for understanding what drives you to want to “destroy something pretty”, or whore a bottom out (that’s why I’m asking the question to begin with) but I can tell that something in your mind considers the object before you - the bottom - and evaluates it for more than just its potential to be warm and wet. You must also consider its potential to please or satisfy you if you used it in some other way, or a particular way, or did something else to/with it afterward. That’s not to suggest that you give it any further thought an hour later, or the next day, but in that moment, you seem to relish feeling a certain way toward a bottom, and that feeling doesn’t sound like indifference. If it were, I don’t think you would have chosen to go by ‘Faggotuser’.

I think you’ll find that this site is like any other social media venue - people arrive, stay a while, then most of them move along, maybe stick their heads back in from time to time, maybe not. There have been several prominent contributors in the past two or three years who have certainly departed (the word ‘guest’ appears before their username now, or they simply walked away. Now that account deletion is possible, I’m not sure how much evidence remains of a person passing through if they actually delete. Yes, there’s a fair amount of necro-posting to old threads. On the whole I don’t know that picking up a dormant topic is such a bad thing - in the time I’ve been here, only about four years, I’ve seen a number of topics appear in which essentially the same question gets asked by some new arrival long after the rest of us have flogged the conversation to death. The next time a wannabe cumdump asks “how can I organize a gangbang for myself” I’m going to have to take a deep breath and count slowly to ten. It would be far better for that person to search out what’s been posted before and only then, if he doesn’t find his question thoroughly answered, append his question to that thread instead of expecting us all to repeat ourselves again. Honestly, the site could just about do with a reference section composed of How-To posts curated by the moderators from the best answers on the forum, and stickied in place. ‘The Truth About Gangbangs’, ‘How To Properly Clean Out’, ‘What Are PrEp, ART, and PEP And What’s The Difference?’, ‘How Long Are Men’s Cocks (Really)?’ I could go on. It would be nice to have something to point people to.

When I was being trained for service, any time cum ended up anywhere other than inside me, I received the same order every single time: ”Clean it up.” Although it wasn’t said after the first time, this meant: ”With your tongue.” It was drilled into me that if cum got on any surface, that was my doing because I either caused him to cum or produced the cum myself. And since it was my doing, cleaning it up was my responsibility, not his. The first time a Top pulled his cock out of my creamed cunt, held it in front of my face and said “Clean it up”, it immediately clicked - this is something I’m always responsible for. It’s my duty to make sure the Top doesn’t have to go clean the cum off himself. I don’t even give it a second thought now, I just do it unless the Top doesn’t give me a chance. The fact that a cock has been rutting my (or another) anus before it enters my mouth doesn’t particularly affect me - when I’m in service, I’m a set of warm holes that other men stick their penises into and ejaculate. It’s a little late for me to be thinking that I’m somehow above claiming that one of my holes is somehow ‘cleaner’ than the other. If a Top is in a position to give me ATM, he’s already debased and devolved me into a male breeding object. He has every reason to expect me to open up.

…and even if he does try to claim it’s all just fantasy, he’s still on the hook for having such depraved fantasies. Oh, I’m not really a cum-guzzling man-whore, I just like to imagine that I am. - So you’re not one, in real life, but you are one in your own mind. Yeah, I guess? - Pervert.

I have no idea what kind of number to put on myself; it would be meaningless to me. Personally, I think I have a face made for radio and an utterly unremarkable body. Tops have said I have a beautiful ass, but they look at it with lust-filled eyes - I do own a mirror. How I look doesn’t keep me from strutting naked down the halls of a bathhouse as though I were Michelangelo’s David come to life. In fact, what allows me to do that is being blithely oblivious to how other people see me. Walking around with a self-imposed rating would only hinder me. And I don’t understand the point of the question. First, no one is able to be an objective judge of himself, so any self-assessment of ‘hotness’ is going to be based on one man’s subjective criteria heavily colored by his own level of ego snd self esteem - it is therefore going to be meaningless as a measure anyone else could apply. Second, a 1-10 scale implies, as someone above mentioned, that there is a baseline or standard against which to measure. But ‘troll’ and ‘god’ are not measurable, identifiable standards, or even standards upon which there is agreement. It’s very like the 1-10 scales in hospitals that as you to rate your level of pain - how the hell would I know what my pain level is unless I had once experienced the worst pain possible and knew that it was the worst pain possible? Otherwise I could never say ‘10’ because there might be a worse pain, and I couldn’t accurately make any other judgment because I couldn’t know how far from that maximum I actually am. Third, if a man asks another man how attractive he is, he might be told ‘7’; if he asks another in the same building, he may be told ‘5’. A man of 50 could be told ‘4’ or ‘8’ on the basis of his age alone, depending on the tastes of those being asked. Which is correct? Both? Neither? If a significant number of men are asked, one might arrive at a figure based on the average of the replies that might suggest an overall impression, but that figure would not be reliable as an indicator on an individual level. The second part of the question seems to imply that the answer to the first part might have some correlation to the answer to the second, but it’s hard to see how this would apply as one’s preferences are not a function of one’s physical appearance. The one way there might be a connection, however, is well put by @barebackbro: I pretty much aim for hotter guys. It’s not even that I’m picky; I’m just sexually confident and plenty of guys out of my league seem to go for that. High self-esteem usually translates into confidence, and confidence attracts others. I can’t claim to have high self-esteem, but simply not caring can also be interpreted as confidence, and that, I suppose, is why I do get fucked at the bathhouse. Now that I think about it, perhaps this somewhat explains a difference: If you care what other people think and you exude confidence, you’re hot - if you don’t give a shit and you exude confidence, you’re cool. Maybe. I’ve never thought of myself as either.