ErosWired

The information you provide us is a bit limited for us to attempt more that broad, generalized suggestions, based on assumptions we would have to make as we fill in the blanks of what we don’t know about you, your brother, and how you both actually think and feel in this situation and context. Granted, much of that you don’t know yourself, which is why you’re facing the conundrum - your obstacle to making a decision about what to do seems at least in part rooted in a lack of information. You tell us that you can’t stop “thinking about” your twin brother, but you’re never explicitly clear about what the nature of that thinking is. Later posts hint that there is a sexual attraction component, but you never say outright that you find yourself wanting to be sexual with him. Is this the case? You say you have a boyfriend with whom you have sex but you “don’t think it worked” - this suggests that you entered into a relationship with your boyfriend only for the purpose of making him a surrogate for your brother (this does not bode well for the relationship, but that’s a separate problem). You are unclear whether your distress about your unresolved feelings toward your brother is the result of feeling that they’re wrong and you don’t want to feel them, or they’re not wrong and you’re frustrated that you can’t fulfill them. Without clarity on which destination you want to reach, we cannot point to a path. Your therapist, by your account, believes that fulfilling those feelings of attraction is not in your interest, whatever the case. Given that result from a professional observer of your case, we must consider that the best information on which to consider any reply we might offer. A diabetic with a craving for chocolate cake knows he should not eat the cake - his doctor has told him so. His doctor tells him to keep his kitchen clear of any sugary desserts that might tempt him. Yet on the man’s kitchen counter is a covered glass cake plate containing a large 20-layer Death By Chocolate ganache torte that his brother brought back from the bakery. It’s killing him slowly ever time he walks through the kitchen and looks at the thing, untouchable underneath the glass. All he would have to do would be lift the cover and dig in for what he imagines is a slice of heaven itself - on the other hand, his sugar would spike, and his brother might get mad at him. What to do? The first, and most obvious, thing to do is put the damn cake somewhere that you’re not forced to think about it every time you pass through the kitchen. The second thing to do would be for the man to have a frank conversation with his brother to explain that because of his diabetes, having sweets lying around is a hardship, and would he consider limiting the food that comes into the house, or at least storing the sweets in a locked cupboard. If the brother then protests that such accommodations are too much to ask, the man should then explain that, for his own well-being and not for any ill feeling toward his brother, he must consider living elsewhere. This is, of course, a slight silly metaphor for the problem - although personally I would fucking make love to a 20-layer chocolate ganache torte if I found one in my kitchen - but the point is that you’re not making this any easier by keeping the object of your obsession within reach. You already know what the difference feels like - you lived apart in a different town for a year before coming back. You felt sad, you say, but you don’t say whether being apart relieved any of the day-to-day pressure of thinking about him. You also give no context for your return to living with him other than that you were both sad. If, as you say, he was sad because he thought you were angry with him, then he was sad for no good reason, and you could have changed that over time. He wouldn’t have been sad indefinitely. That wouldn’t have been sufficient reason to return. It seems more likely that your own sadness at not being near the object of your obsession is what caused you to abandon your therapist’s advice and return to your original unworkable situation. Indeed, it is difficult to see a way to make this situation workable in conventional relationship terms due to the complicating factors that you’re dealing not only with family, and not only with a close sibling, but with an actual twin of yourself. I have known a set of twins all my life, who are such close friends of the family that we consider them family. They have always been so very alike that their dissimilarities seemed magnified. This always emphasized to me twins aren’t copies, they’re distinct individuals. You know your brother likely better than anyone else on Earth. Because of your many similarities, you have a unique insight into the things that shape his thoughts and actions. Think hard. As much as is possible, pull yourself out of your own mind and step into your brother’s, taking in everything that you know about him. Forget about how you feel - how does he probably feel? How is he likely to react if you were to bare your heart to him and tell him everything you’re keeping bottled? You, more than anyone else, more than any psychologist, hold that answer. The way I see it, there is only one way you can reveal your heart and mind to your brother, and that is this: You tell him all of it as an explanation of why you cannot live with him. And plan to leave. This will result in one of two outcomes - either he will not reciprocate your feelings, in which case you will be able to leave without any misunderstanding this time; or he will reciprocate them and you attempt to seek some sort of mutual resolution to those feelings. (This outcome will almost certainly sabotage your relationship with your current boyfriend - indeed, both may, but unless you are able to exercise the mental discipline to divorce yourself from your obsession once and for all, that relationship will always be at risk, and its value dubious.) I wish you grace.

Regardless of the way it turned out for you, that sounds like a terrifying experience, and, at least prior to #3, the definition of forcible rape. For others thinking of answering the question from this point on, @ohmalewhore’s reply shows that there’s a thin divide between the kind of experience I’m asking about in this question and the experience of rape or sexual assault. I’m absolutely not asking about a time, for instance, when someone was re-victimized by a rapist. I suppose, given that I mentioned both kinds of experiences myself in the question, that I should have considered more deeply the implications of what I’m asking about in terms of consent - I’ve described times I’ve been used without my explicit consent, and for some reason I haven’t quite worked out, I don’t count them as violations, but the fact remains that they were done without consent. So essentially, am I asking you all the equivalent of whether a guy fucked you even though you gave no consent - which is essentially a rape? Or is this floating on some thin grey film of argument that consent was never actually clearly denied - if it was even discussed at all. Take my ass-to-mouth dude. I got up from his fuckscene and walked away. But I had already been consenting in a pretty complete way, and although consent can be withdrawn at any time, what did I actually say to him? ”I need a break.” I didn’t say, “We’re done here” or “I don’t want to be with you again” or “Stay away from me”. Taken at my word, I took a break. It is not unreasonable for him to have interpreted that positively to mean he still had a future opportunity to get what he wanted from me. So I’ve actually now managed to confuse myself about the nature of what I’m asking, but I want to be clear that I don’t want anyone to be re-traumatized by being reminded of a time when his rapist re-victimized him. (The question is also not, by the way, as some seem to have misunderstood, simply “Have you ever rejected a cock?” - It’s have you ever rejected one and gotten it anyway?)

Camp Buckwood, in Indiana.

We should, should we? No. That’s not written anywhere. There’s no set of rules that qualifies a “good”, “true”, or “real” slut or cumdump that says he has to take every fucking piece of abuse thrown at him. Anyone who actually practices that has such basement-level self-respect that it really would benefit from therapy. Note that I was taking their cocks, repeatedly, in both holes, ass-to-mouth, roughly, until even they needed a breather. Only when they indicated that they didn’t consider me human enough to let me collect myself after their use did I decide to walk away. Anyone who will allow himself to be used to the point of injury is either a masochist or a fool, and I am neither. And you would, you say… but have you? Have you, personally, taken serial fucking over a picnic table by a group of men uninterested in your wellbeing? If not, don’t be so quick to swear what you would do. Reality can kick fantasy in the balls.

I always remember this one night at camp when there were two or three guys together spit-roasting me, swapping out my holes pretty frequently, using me sort of roughly. It was work trying to keep up with them. One of the guys was really into the whole ass-to-mouth aspect of it - every time he finished rutting my cunt he would swing back around and announce emphatically, “My cock was just in your ass!” And then rammed it into my mouth. He did this three or four times, and my jaw was starting to hurt. After a bit, he said to his friends, “Let’s take five and then start again.” ”Yes,” I said, “I need a break.” ”You don’t get a break,” he said, and pushed my head down. I slowly raised it back up, pushed myself upward from the table, and said, in my not-to-be-fucked-with voice, “When I say I need a break, I need a break.” And I walked off and left them. The next day I found myself being serially fucked on a fucking bench at the direction of two strangers - every time I thought nobody else was going to fuck me and I should get up to go, they would gently push me back down onto the bench. So I ended up taking twelve men that way, but I remember one of them distinctly. He fucked my ass like he owned it, shot his load, came around to my head, and announced, “My cock was just in your ass!” He made me suck and tongue it clean, and the whole time, I thought, Fuck. He got me anyway. There have been a couple of other times that guys have kind of fucked me on the sly, like I didn’t for some reason accommodate them, and then they took advantage of a dark and crowded steamroom to slide up me and load me up. One cheeky little bastard actually told me he’d already done me twice that night. I don’t think of these as rape-like acts, or assaults, or even as nonconsensual - I don’t know why - they seem to me more like fox-in-the-henhouse kinds of ploys to get something they might have gotten anyway had they played their same hand a little differently to start with. I guess I use the metaphor of a game because it almost feels like they won a game of sorts, and my humiliation is just the humiliation of defeat. I contrast this with the one instance in which a man I absolutely did not want to service, and did not want touching me, was nonetheless able to force me to have a full ejaculatory orgasm for his pleasure. That felt utterly different. That man, also, got me anyway… but that was a sexual assault, and I felt violated. As to the others, though, I don’t bear them any ill will, and I fully expect other men will probably enjoy my body on the sly in the future. Oh well. That’s what it’s for. Anyone else have a time when you realized you’d been used after all?

There are no easy places to hold a gangbang, because gangbangs are not easy to arrange, anywhere, unless you are already plugged in to a network of men regularly engaged in such parties. A lot of guys just getting into this come in with more or less the same question, based on an unrealistic sense of the sexual environment influenced largely by the way porn suggests things are. Your question has been asked a number of times previously in one form or the other, and the answers are always pretty much the same - you’re imagining a world where there’s a place teeming with Tops where you can just go in and they’ll flock to your open, willing hole, but it just isn’t so. Only about one guy in ten is a committed Top, versus 6-7 who are hungry holes jealous for his load. Trying to get a gangbang going on your own, starting from zero with nothing but a cell phone, a room, and an ass full of hope is not, I’m afraid, likely to get you a gangbang unless your definition of a gangbang is more like getting fucked 3-4 times in a night. You can probably manage that reasonably well (though it may take working the apps to do it). But double digits? 12? 20? You’d basically need to be sponsored/whored out by someone with connections if you’re expecting to be the sole bottom focus of a horde of Tops. Most experienced cumdumps here who have tried setting them up themselves concur that you can expect about s 75%-80% no-show rate among men who say the’ll come to breed you. And that’s the same all over - there’s no Shangri-La of fucking where it’s easy for a single bottom to become the focus of all fornication unless he’s extraordinary. I might suggest, however, that if you stretch your definition of gangbang to encompass multiple fuckings over the course of a few hours rather than one right after the other, you might find that a bathhouse would supply what you’re looking for. When I go to the bathhouse, in the course of 12-16 hours, I can usually expect at least 7-10 penetrations, and have taken upwards of 24. Just not all at once. I might get as many as 4-5 in a row in the steam room if things click just right, but usually it’s just one or two at a time in my room, with time between. There are a few cities that still have decent steam rooms, and if you do a search on the topics here you’ll find threads with recommendations on those.

An orgasm is like a soufflé - all the right ingredients have to be combined in just the right way to make it work, and if you even jostle it wrong it may fall flat… but when you get it right, it’s to die for. Poppers could deflate that particular soufflé in more than one way. By relaxing the tone of all the muscle tissue in the area, they may make it less able to react to the friction and pressures being applied, like a violin whose strings are too loose. By dilating the blood vessels in the brain, they may saturate the brain with such an inrush of sensation that the subtle signals that begin the buildup to an orgasm get lost in the noise. Or, by leaving tissues too relaxed to properly contract in response to certain stimuli, they may make it impossible fir the body to even undergo the physical actions needed to cascade an orgasm - it’s certainly the case for Tops who use them and end up trying to fuck with noodles. Why shouldn’t it be just as true for bottoms who need to keep their junk tuned up for an assgasm? I use poppers strategically, to ensure that I absolutely never fail to take a man’s cock. Beyond that, I find there’s a point of diminishing returns. Everything in moderation.

Today’s entry is brought to you by the Number 55. 55. Fifty-Five. Half-a-Benjamin-plus-five. Forty-five shy of a century - which is really what gets to the point. Today is my birthday, marking my 55th tour ‘round the Sun. Before any of you reflexively say ‘Happy birthday’, let me save you the trouble - I haven’t had one of those sine number 40, when I acquired a sense of Time, and I now positively dread them since 2014 when I nearly stopped having them. It’s not as simple as a concern about the naked ageism in sexual attraction among gay men - in some ways, that’s unavoidable. The science explains that sexual attraction relies heavily on visual cues that signal sexual readiness, reproductive viability, and robust ability to provide and defend. This is all back-of-the-brain stuff humans have been conditioned to over 50,000 years of selecting successful reproductive partners. The fact that these couplings aren’t going to be reproductive doesn’t matter; the same mechanism are in use. As a result, we like abs. We like muscle tone and taut skin. We gravitate toward hair that isn’t white, and isn’t sparse. These characteristics signal youth, vigor, strength, and sexual virility, and therefore advantage those that have them with extra attractiveness. Which is to say, they principally advantage the young. Not always, of course, and not for everyone. There are plenty of other factors. But where possessing a trait may advantage one man, possessing the opposite may not just not advantage another man, it may actively disadvantage him. Sagging physique, wrinkled skin, grey hair - Time is not kind, and while its effects may be forestalled for a while, it will not be denied. I have a couple of pretty decent profile pics of my ass. I rather like them. So do other people. But they were taken three years ago, and I believe in Truth In Advertising, so I think I’m going to need to replace them soon. I doubt my ass will look as good now. It probably feels better to a Top now than it did three years ago, because I’ve honed my technique, but you can’t see that. “Age is just a number,” some of you say. “You’re as young as you feel.” (I feel ancient.) “Fifty is the new Thirty.” (That would make all the 30-year-olds jailbait.) Sorry, not buying any of that. No matter how we try to whitewash it, there’s a reason there’s a general sense that maturing is a death sentence in terms of the gay lifestyle. It doesn’t matter that I get fucked plenty, or that a subset of men may be attracted to older men - that doesn’t change the fact that I’m now too old to put on certain types of slutty clothes and hang out in certain places; my body simply cannot pull it off. I would look ridiculous, sad, and possibly deranged. But all of that isn’t the big reason 55 is a kick in the teeth now. I suppose every person reaches a point sooner or later, if he lives long enough, where he suddenly realizes that there are only so many birthdays left, and he can count them so easily it startles him. Some men may not hit this reckoning until their 70s - my father has been like that. He turns 80 this year. My father, unlike me, does not have AIDS. For me, the reckoning started in 2014, when I survived the effects of the disease that was once an absolute death sentence. Now, a twentysomething who starts ART early before his immune system is destroyed can enjoy practically a normal lifespan. I wasn’t twentysomething. I didn’t start ART until my immune system was practically erased. I will not be getting that normal life expectancy. How many years I’ll loose, science can’t say yet, studies suggest on the order of 7-9. That points to an age of around 70 when ErosWired Has Left The Building. That means that as of today I can count my coming birthdays on the fingers of three hands, and not all of them will be healthy years, thanks to HIV. In a few years, who knows? Science may find a way to beat the Enemy Virus, and I might get an extension. For now, though, I can’t escape a sense of the inevitable approach if Mortality. Being rejected by a hott muscletwink because you’ve got a little silver in your temples or the crows have stamped their feet around your eyes can give you a taste of it - but at some point you can’t get the taste out of your mouth and you feel like a Dead Man Walking. Yesterday evening I was cleaning the kitchen and I stopped at an apple on the counter. It had been there, uneaten, a good long while. It wasn’t rotten, but it was soft, and the skin had wrinkled and become spotty. I paused for a moment, and looked at it. Then I tossed it. Just sayin’.

but the movie is a “point of view” opus that leaves me cold. My friend, I knew you were a rare breed among men, but do you mean you actually watch the movie? Nobody actually watches the movie. Yet you can provide that level of experience to a bottom and provide a film review. I’m even more impressed. The next time I’m impaled on you we can talk about what it would look like if Spielberg did porn. 🙂

@hungry_hole - Will you please stop thread-jacking this topic? I asked that Tops only reply, because I was only looking for a Top perspective. You are a professed bottom, yet you not only answered anyway, you keep spamming the Topic with your irrelevant replies. Your opinion is neither solicited nor welcome on this particular question. As I said above, if you insist on expressing this, start your own topic.

One hardly knows where to begin. Is there a prize for the amount of complete bunk one person can utter in a single post? Because you may have just won it. All your premises fail because you make two false assumptions: 1) That all men are exactly the same; and 2) That all men are exactly like you. Your attempt to science your argument with Masters and Johnson is amusing, but you misinterpret them. “Unable to achieve orgasm” does not mean “loses all interest in sex” during the refractory period for all men. Then, not only do you turn around and refute them by saying that you can point to exceptions to this rule, you also speculate that the findings may not hold at all if the sex isn’t anon and at the kinds of places you go to fuck. But where’s your science to back that up? What? You just pulled that out of your ass? Naturally - that’s where you got all of this drivel. Last week, my local regular Top seeded me three times without stopping. He almost never takes a break between breedings, he just keeps going. I can point to any number of experiences in which other men have kept on going, haven’t even lost their erections between climaxes. I like to think (and have some feedback to support the idea) that part of the reason these Tops keep going is the quality of the ass they’re enjoying. Perhaps quality of service is a factor when men lose all interest after a single climax. Regardless, the empirical evidence is conclusive: You are wrong, and your broad assumptions about other men arise solely from your imagination. This is telling: You would feel someone else’s orgasm as your own? That’s funny, because if you’re feeling what he’s feeling, then you should (according to you) instantly lose interest in sex the moment his orgasm is over. Because an orgasm is an orgasm, right? But you don’t lose interest because you don’t, of course, actually feel other men’s orgasms any more than you can know what’s going on in a Top’s head during and after a fuck. (How you can even read what you wrote without embarrassment is beyond me.) If you wish to continue to discuss your ideas about what you think Tops think, please start your own topic. This line of discussion is not pertinent to the question.

WARNING - Remember that this is the General Section, not the bugchasing section. Anybody tempted to post about a certain kind of “gifting” in this section may get an infraction from the moderators. Keep that shit in the backroom where it belongs.

This is the truly pernicious aspect of all sexual trauma that so many people overlook - the psychological damage done by the act can rebound and become a self-perpetuating dysfunctional thought process by which the victim, through the effort to find a way to cope with the psychological pain of the violation, in essence becomes conditioned to re-rape himself repeatedly in order to prove that the horrible thing that happened wasn’t actually horrible. And no, most people who haven’t suffered some firm of sexual assault don’t have the mental context to understand these experiences when they’re shared. To them, it’s counterintuitive for a person to say that he likes the idea that he was raped; it makes no sense to them because their brains have never been forced to try to bend in those impossible ways to survive. I’m sorry your friend didn’t validate your experience. Be glad for him that he isn’t able to. There are plenty of us here (unfortunately) who believe you, and understand you perfectly. You are not alone. The fact that this happened in a therapeutic setting is, by the way, unconscionable. I fear that some statute of limitations may have passed, but had it not I would have encouraged you to prosecute the monster who did this to you.

Two different hypnotists tried “twisted and unethical” with me. Both of them, immediately after placing me in trance, at once instructed me forcefully to either imprison of incapacitate my own independent mind in a dark, inescapable place so that they could do their work uninterrupted. They both then began grooming me for abuse and what could have amounted to trafficking. They weren’t playing around. The second one was trying to lead me into a situation where I would come to him and allow him to put me in a cage. With the first man, I had no prior experience and was only alerted to what he was doing because he had been doing it over chat (yes, it can be done by text). Luckily, I had my chat log on and after that session was over and I came out of it, there all the evidence was, right in front of me - no amount of “you will remember nothing when I count to five” is going to help when it’s all been logged. By the time the second guy got to me, I had learned a thing or two and had set up defenses to protect my mind from assault. Even so, he was damn good at it, and took me to some places I would rather not have gone before I kicked him out of my skull. So be careful what you ask for, and don’t be too eager to let unethical men have their twisted way with your mind. They can do some vile shit. But - you’re right about one thing: They can’t make you do something that you would never do. The danger lies in their ability to take what you could possibly do and persuade you to do it.

I might suggest that, as you describe a highly specific fetish with specialized imagery, it may be possible to analyze it for clues to why those visuals, those characters, those situations resonate with you so particularly. It’s not as though you’ve come asking what it means that you like the smell of men’s unwashed socks - one could probably say with some confidence that your paraphilia, in its particulars, is unique to you. Fetishes around superheroes are not uncommon; yours centers around Batman and Batgirl. Is there a reason why these particular heroes activate your imagination where others do not? In a similar scene, could you potentially been as fascinated by, say, Green Arrow and Black Canary? Batman defeats villains all the time (he makes rather a habit of it) and there are any number of encounters in which a villain is bested and given his or her just desserts, yet you fixate on Poison Ivy - why do you think that is? Her powers aren’t that menacing compared to some, and she doesn’t have the bloodthirst or the sheer insanity of some of the denizens of Arkham, but for some reason this character in particular is so relevant to you that you go so far as to recreate her predicament in an effort to experience the same reactions, sensations, emotions… or something that derives from them. It’s also worth asking why you find this particular predicament so arousing. Death by carnivorous plant is not an actual potential threat (even if you did find such a gargantuan venus’ fly-trap and manage to get snared by it, you would starve to death yourself before the plant’s enzymes could dissolve you) so it requires a substantial leap if the imagination to get any sense of real danger. But I get the sense that your interest is more in her humiliation and her entrapment/confinement. So why do you think you find those things so arousing that you act them out yourself? In the scene, the character obviously is not thinking about anything of a sexual nature, even though the plant that’s attempting to consume her could be loosely visually compared to a giant vagina with fangs. So, what specific things about the scene strike you as sexually stimulating or suggestive, and why do you think you feel that way about them? You don’t need to answer any of these questions here, I just pose them to give you some directions in which to take your thought. The principal thing to consider is whether you feel distress because you find yourself excited by this. If it doesn’t trouble you that you have these feelings, then give yourself the time to sort it out and don’t worry so much about what it “means”. In the end, your life is going to be about what you decide it’s going to be about, anyway. On the other hand, if you’re distressed by these feelings, @BootmanLA’s suggestion of a therapist trained in working with sexual issues might be worth considering. In the meantime, I recommend you avoid swamps and marshes - to stay clear of the venus’ fly-traps.

I didn’t say the Top’s orgasm is different, and my question isn’t even asking how his orgasm feels. I said the Top’s mindset is different from a bottom’s in how he chooses to pursue his orgasm, and his entire experience up to the point of climax bears nothing in common with a bottom giving himself a handjob. But again, everything you say about what a Top is thinking after he cums is nothing but guesswork and assumption. Without being a Top you don’t know, and nothing in your history of posting here gives anyone any reason to think that you’ve ever been in that mindset such that you could speak with authority on the subject. Which, again, is why I asked that only Tops reply to the topic. I’m very sorry if this has been your experience. In my experience, no two orgasms are the same, and I have enjoyed amazingly varied orgasmic variations, penile, anal, prostate, and hypnotic. They’ve run the gamut from mind-altering ecstasy to agonizing torture. I’ve had them come and go in an eyeblink, and I’ve ridden Tantric waves that kept going for more than five minutes of continuous climax. Every Top who breeds me has the potential to unlock an orgasm in me in a subtly different and memorable way, and many do. If orgasm is such a rich banquet for me, I can’t believe it’s just a one-item menu for every Top - in fact, I know it isn’t because of the way my local regular Top describes how he feels each time he breeds me. And I consider it my duty to ensure that any Top who penetrates me gets an orgasm he’s going to remember.

Such a simple, yet fraught pair of words, and used by so many people to set themselves apart from others for reasons that shouldn’t actually be reasons for separation. If you ever go to ‘The Ark Experience’ in Northern Kentucky (I recommend it as a master-class in the design and execution propaganda campaigns) you will find that throughout their massive and dubiously landlocked replica of Noah’s Ark, their interpretive displays all refer to the different types of animals as ‘Kinds’. Not species - ‘Kinds’. This is, I imagine, because their whole looney set of premises (Noah evidently rescued pterodactyls, among other Mesozoic reptiles) dissolves like cotton candy with the slightest exposure to actual science. Most of the time, when people refer to “our kind” the differentiating factor is one that doesn’t rise to the level of one demarking an actual difference in type - at least not in a materially significant way - but rather to cultural or philosophical differences. Racial characteristics would be as insignificant as the color of a dog’s tail if people didn’t artificially assign them enough significance accordingly behave so that the people involved split into ‘kinds’. Sexual orientation seems to be a slightly grayer area - if we assume, as we ought, that sexual orientation is not chosen but rather the result of biological factors, the result is a biological ‘kind’-ness of a sort because it has implications with regard to a significant physical function - reproduction - in a way that a trait like skin color would not. Yet this in itself need not be sufficient grounds to split into ‘kinds’ - the impetus in the case of orientation is still social and cultural and could be overcome if the focus were not placed on the single trait of orientation. Gays, when not being gay, are as diverse as everyone else. More complicated is the case of Autistic persons and the rest of the Neurotypical population. High-functioning Autism isn’t a disease or a disability, but simply a matter of a brain being organized differently than that of a standard human. The result is a person like everyone else, but with a profoundly different mental mechanism for interfacing with the world, and this frequently causes social friction and misunderstanding. A claim of ‘kinds’ in this case might be slightly stronger in that the quantifiable, measurable individual differences between an Autistic and a Neurotypical are significant enough to merit the demarkation on their own merits without resorting to cultural assumptions. (My apologies to @Pnpguyny for this tangent off-topic, by the way. I never get fucked over Christmas - I always end up staying up all night finishing and wrapping presents and cooking to try to be ready for the big family gathering on Christmas day, and once that’s over with I’m too exhausted to do anything but eat a cookie and go to bed. Next year I may chuck it all and go traveling over the holidays, and if I do, who knows?)

Here’s a little tip I sometimes employ at the bathhouse, especially when I’m ass-up facing away from the door and the ambient music is playing too loud for me to always hear someone enter the room behind me: I prop my phone or my tablet upright facing the door, but I leave it off - the black screen behind glass acts as a darkened mirror, allowing me to see anything that happens behind me, at least enough to cue me to motion coming up from behind.

Not at all - I think that most people realized that if she got into office the country would go straight to Hell.

I may be mistaken, but I am under the impression that word filtering decisions for Breedingzone are made at the site level directly by management, and not by some third-party filtering agent. The nature of the specialized discourse on these boards may not lend itself to a generic filtering scheme and likely requires not only context-aware decisions, but also an ability to adapt to changes in usage that may not yet become mainstream enough for general filters to catch them. The constantly shifting vocabulary relating to illicit drug use is one example.

It may have been in your mind, but don’t think that the possibility that someone hypnotized you suggests that you’re weak-minded. On the contrary, it says something about your power of visualization and imagination that you could achieve a state in which sensations seemed real enough that you could cum hands-free. Not everyone is able to do it. I have been told I am a particularly good hypnotic subject, and I have had more than one experience such as you describe (though none of them involving anything that purported to be diabolical) and I, too, have been made to cum hands-free from it. But my experiences have been at the hands of unethical men who have attempted to do truly wretched things to my mind, and it’s only because of the particular quirk of my psychology - and a bit if good luck - that I became aware of their intentions and was able to thwart them. I now have rather complicated defenses built up against such attempts, but the average person is best advised to approach anything like that with caution. Hypnosis isn’t magic, or ESP, or a superpower - it’s a skill that can be learned, and learned to be detected by its techniques. A hypnotist can’t exercise true mind control - they can’t make you murder someone or jump off a cliff - but they can fuck with your head in very unpleasant ways. I still have little bits of things left behind from past experiences in my head, nothing dangerous, but annoyingly persistent. If you have the sort of mind that might lend itself to suggestibility, and it sounds as though you might, you may want to study up a little on how hypnotists do their thing so you can spot them having a go at you.

@fuckyouraw777 - This site disallows certain words and phrases and when they are used automatically substitutes either “[banned word]” or a specific alternate word or phrase. I believe in this case “Sarah Palin” is the chosen substitute when a person tries to use the formal name of the entity referred yo in the Judeo-Christian context as the Prince of Lies. @Twinkconfused12 - It is possible that the man you interacted with over cam is a hypnotist, and manipulated your perception through the power of suggestion. If you are not experienced with such things, a skilled hypnotist could place you in trance without you being aware that it was being done, and if you are particularly susceptible to suggestion, could have prompted you to experience the sensations you report relatively easily. I assure you, however, that you were not in any way actually supernaturally visited by anyone with horns… or even horny. I would not, by the way, recommend you have any further contact with this man with whom you cammed - hypnotizing you unawares is an unethical and predatory practice, and he is not to be trusted.

I don’t think we can extrapolate anything about a Top’s state of mind by comparing a bottom masturbating with Topping. In fact, I’m quite sure we can’t, because a man who chooses to relieve his urge with his own hand does not have the same mindset as a man who chooses to do so by seeking out, penetrating, and seeding another man. The first act is a matter of convenience; the second requires a man to expend time and effort and defer his immediate gratification in order to achieve a specific desired result, and something about his specifically Top psyche compels him to do this. That’s why I addressed this question specifically to Tops - bottoms can’t tell the answer, they can only speculate, and that’s not enlightening.

The need for this ^ cannot be overstated. The ends and surfaces of whatever object you insert, especially if you intend to move it in and out, need to be absolutely smooth, no roughness, edge or protrusions at all. It’s incredible how delicate, sensitive, and susceptible the inner lining of the urethra is to scratching and abrasion. Not only can you end up finding it very painful to take a leak afterward, you could easily open yourself up to a urinary tract infection that you do. not. want. This is true, by the way, for any type of sounding you my try.

Heh - I wouldn’t have thought of an arm around my throat while I’m being fucked as “cuddling” - certainly welcome, but not exactly a cuddle. It tells me much, however, to understand that if certain types of Tops put me in a headlock to fuck me that may be their way of cuddling. Fascinating. Especially if it also expresses their sense of ownership/dominance. I absolutely love it when a Top is unambiguous about his desires and attitudes. It makes it so much easier to tailor my service for his greatest satisfaction. It’s also very interesting that you hold feelings if ownership and dominance, yet consider more intimate knowledge or association with a bottom to make him a better target for breeding - so often with Tops who hold bottoms in slight regard, the principle of “familiarity breeds contempt” applies. It’s encouraging that you find that repeated use spurs you on to harder use. I wish I encountered that more often. I’m not that surprised that you don’t form as solid a bond from throat fucking. In my experience, the two acts, although both penetrative, are actually fundamentally different interfaces with the bottom’s body. Anal sex is analogous to reproduction/breeding in a way that oral sex simply isn’t, and I find that my ass triggers an animal instinct in Tops I never see when they use my mouth. Now, admittedly, cocksucking isn’t my strongest skill, but our entire anatomy lends itself more to our brains forming animal associations with groin-to-pelvis intercourse. Thank you for your informative reply. I envy the men you Top.