ErosWired

It’s nice that you’re concerned for their possible emotional distress if you get to the point where you feel you have to block them, but by the time you get there they’ve very likely demonstrated that they deserve no such consideration. The last time I hosted, I noted in my Grindr profile that I was ass up with one load in taking cock bare in my hotel room. Shortly, I got my first message. It read: ”Disgusting.” I briefly considered replying that that was not the opinion of the man who had already enjoyed me, and would almost certainly not be the opinion of the multiple men who I could expect to seed me over the course of the evening; and to inquire what, precisely, gave him the impression that I gave a watery shit what he thought in the first place? But I had just got settled into a slutty vibe and didn’t feel like texting an imbecile who was, in every likelihood, a jealous bottom who didn’t have the stones to go slutting himself, so */block/* Which is all he deserved in the first place. Life is too short, and your time is too valuable. Move them right along to clear the way for your actual adventure.

In fact, the gold standard for treatment of depression, anxiety, and related diagnoses in the United States is the combination of both medication and therapy. As a veteran of more than 20 years of psychotherapy, part in isolation and part in combination with medication, I can attest to the efficacy of the combined approach. I am also a moderator on a mental health peer-support forum that has been in service for 15 years, and we strongly advocate that our members avail themselves of both. The risk estimates I quoted are indeed just that, estimates, based on the results of diverse studies done at different times using differing methodologies to measure different cohorts for differing periods of time. The estimate is always going to be fluid. I tried to provide mid-range estimates based on the most current publicly published guidance from trusted agencies and institutions (not just the CDC). In the case of condoms, there are in fact no precise quantitative estimates available because of the difficulty in accurately measuring their use; I provided the straight average of the best available estimates, which authorities acknowledge are likely underestimates of effectiveness - i.e., not optimistic. Regardless of whatever margin of error may be at quibble here, all authorities agree that ART and PrEP taken as directed are excellent deterrents against HIV infection, and reduce risk well into the single digits percentage. Which is even better than the very best estimate for condoms. Which is why, given your use of PrEP, excessive anxiety is unnecessary. Which was my entire point. (I might add, if you believe you tend to catastrophize, why would you trust your own notion that the estimates are optimistic? Always consult multiple sources.) But I understand as well that the uncontrolled thought processes that occur during periods of anxiety don’t necessarily respond to ordinary attempts at self-reassurance. That’s the reason I suggested CBT - it’s not a cure-all, and it’s not for every mindset, but many find that it provides a valuable skill set for cognitively leveraging reason against the irrational effects of disordered thinking. But if it doesn’t work for you, you do you. By the way, you don’t have to do this: “a**hole” ... “d_mn” I mean, I appreciate you being genteel, but this is Breedingzone. You can say ‘asshole’ and ‘damn’ here. You can even say ‘fuck’. Perhaps a tiny step toward overcoming the anxiety you feel about sexual encounters might be to give yourself permission to speak about it without your internal censor bleeping your words. Shedding that small concern might be a stepping stone to shedding larger concerns. I wish I had a dollar for ever time someone has typed ‘fuck’ on this forum...

As someone who lives in the middle of a sexual desert where there is no eligible cock for miles, I can appreciate the value of such a find in walking distance. I have to wonder though... a virgin hole gaping? The lady doth protest too much methinks. Either he’s very familiar with dildoes or it was simply his first time being fucked... by you. Either way, he sounds like fun. Him: I’m sorry, but I may have to tap out. You: You’re fine. 😂

@FreakedOut - I would encourage you to look for an alternative to your old-school Freudian therapist. Such techniques may have some usefulness (debatable) in sorting out past trauma, but what you’re looking for are ways to build up mental skills to combat the flashes of anxiety you feel. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is very commonly the standard approach to such cases in the contemporary mental health therapy field, and you should be able to find a therapist who employs it with no trouble, if your current one will not. But you can also do work with it on your own - there are a number of books and websites available on how to start doing your own work with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Important Note: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is sometimes referred to by its acronym, CBT. Do not confuse this with the other CBT when finding someone to work with you. Cock and Ball Torture is likely to increase anxiety. Unless you’re into that. I’ve had so much of both CBTs that I can advise equally. To the matter at hand ongoing, remember that taking a load bare from a Poz Top is by no means a guaranteed ticket to HIV infection. In general, your odds of an actual infection, if not on PrEP, are 1 in 72 (for Tops fucking a Poz bottom, your odds are 1 in 909). Every tenfold increase in the viral load increases the chance of infection by about threefold. If you have an STD that compromises your skin’s barrier (i.e., an open sore) your risk more than doubles. But still. Even if you had never taken a single pill of PrEP, you probably only had less than a 2% chance of getting HIV. But you were taking PrEP, so that changes the math. How effective your PrEP is going to be in protecting you is going to depend on how regularly you take it. PrEP is not a “magic bullet” type of pill that takes full effect and provides full benefit after you swallow one pill. You can’t use it situationally like Viagra. You have to use it to build and then maintain a level of chemical defense in your body against potential infection, and building that line takes time. The good news is that it works. For men taking PrEP daily or regularly (at least 4x per week) risk of acquiring HIV is reduced by 99%. For those not keeping up with their regimen, if they took it “recently” (that is, some of the PrEP still remains from their last dose in their blood plasma) the risk is still reduced by about 89%. That’s better than the averaged general overall prevention rate for condoms (about 80%). So your chances of actually getting HIV from this encounter were tiny to begin with, and then you saw a doctor about it. So you’re going to be fine. Moving forward, then, how do you get to the point where you fuck without fear? Here’s how. 1. You educate yourself. You go online and search out all the information you can find about HIV, how it’s transmitted, and how it’s prevented. Find out for yourself what the statistics and the studies have shown. Fear feeds on the unknown. 2. Learn about the mechanics of sex. Study about the parts of the body involved and how they function and relate, and what can go wrong with them. 3. Don’t use any substance (chem) unless you’ve done your homework on it first. Know what it is as a chemical, know what it’s going to do in your body and how it’s going to do it. Know the potential harm it can cause you, the likelihood it will do that harm, and whether it will likely put you at risk from other harms by impairing you mentally or physically. 4. Take your PrEP at least 4 times a week, without fail. Make it an unbreakable habit. Do it until it becomes as automatic as taking a leak when you get out of bed in the morning. You can do it. Since I started taking ART on September 25, 2014, up til today, I have missed exactly one dose. When you arm yourself with knowledge, you make confident decisions. When you plan for your defense and go through with the plan, it leaves you confident that you’re ready. The antidote to Anxiety is Confidence. Fuck well.

I find I am most likely to actually feel the insemination under certain circumstances: 1. His cock has enough girth that it has my ring under tension - then, the expansion of his urethra as it fills and empties with each shot actually applies more outward pressure. Also, in that situation his cum will be coming out under increased pressure and velocity, and will tend to have a slightly greater impact if it strikes the taut inner wall of my cunt. 2. Certain angles of penetration leverage the bottom of the cock firmly against my flesh and produce a similar effect; my current go-to Top does it for exactly this reason. 3. A guy who shoots a high number of times in relatively rapid succession I usually feel - I think it’s the unusual rhythmic pattern. I always love these. It’s usually younger guys, and they often seem amazed that they just keep cumming.

The reason I ended up at death’s door with a CD4 count of 49 and a viral load of 84,000 wasn’t that I never bothered to get tested. I did, several times. I was even tested three years earlier in the hospital when I was very sick with what I now realize was my seroconversion - and every single one of those tests came back false negative. I never tested positive for HIV until I had AIDS. My doctor’s explanation: “Science failed you.” I nonetheless still firmly believe in science, and I always will. Science may have nearly let me die, but it has also saved my life.

In any setting where more than one sexual partner fucks an individual, and particularly in a cumdump/bathhouse setting, any claim that one is “clean” is only good until after the first fuck. After that, you can’t know until you’re tested again. I could test clean in the morning, get fucked at lunch, and test positive for an STD in the afternoon. I can go into the bathhouse certain that I carry no transmissible contagion (and I make damn sure I always do) but I can offer no one any guarantee after the first Top cunts me. So really, the question “Are you clean/dd free?” is only meaningful between non-promiscuous/sexually unadventurous people looking for the same. As to TasP, I’m not sure it’s a useful term in an individual context. TasP is an acronym used not so much to describe an individual prevention strategy, but rather to describe an institutional or governmental strategy that hopes to reduce transmission within a population by promoting universal early treatment upon diagnosis. HIV is the enemy. It will kill any person if given the opportunity. Once a person has it, that person will be treated, or that person will ultimately perish. For me, the fact that my Undetectable status makes it possible for me to fuck safely is a side-effect of the medication I take without fail every day if my life to make sure I don’t die. I don’t take ART to protect myself from infection, and I don’t take it primarily to protect anyone else from infection - I take it to live. It’s not the same as the decision one makes when considering PrEP. It’s take ART - or die. If U did not equal U, I would never fuck anyone again. I will not pass it on.

For goodness’ sake, guys, read the OP’s question - what’s your longest fuck session (reasonably, from the time your clothes are off until they’re back on again) with a single (one) guy (male)? The answers here are all over the place. My longest has to be about three and a half hours of nonstop outdoor fucking by a man who decided I was going to be his plaything one summer at camp. He started in the late afternoon and by the time he finished he was taking me in pitch darkness in front of an audience of about a dozen, illuminated by the glow of luminescent party favors. He had me again the next day, too, for a couple of hours. And yes, I was sore. Getting fucked continuously for over 90 minutes isn’t uncommon for me; my current regular Top never spends less than an hour inside me. I try to encourage Tops to enjoy the ride. I’m more about the journey than the destination.

For God’s sake. There is no Leather Authority. There is no “leather creed”. Here, educate yourself. From sfleather.org, an explanation of what Leather is from the late Robert Davolt, who among (many) other things was in its last years the CEO, Editor and Publisher of the original Drummer Magazine, arguably the most recognized journal of Leather culture in America from 1977 to 1999. He’s about as ‘elder’ as anybody could ask for on the subject. [think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.sfleather.org/Robert_Davolt/Myths-101.html

One gets the impression that you haven’t actually spent much time in a harness. Come back and talk to me again after you’ve spent ten years as a bondage sub. We’ll compare notes.

Heh. Not my two Gen-Zers. They’re not prudes at all. Purely their mother’s influence - she was a wild thing. A porn ban on a university computer network is unsurprising; no publicly funded institution, and certainly no state-funded institution, could tolerate the political liability of allowing uncontrolled smut on its official servers. The eyebrow-raising thing would be if no such restriction existed and conditions became so egregious that students had to demand measures be taken. I would be interested in more information about the case you’re referring to.

Oh, there’s no doubt you’re right about that, but the point is that they wouldn’t have done that suicidal mass-deletion at all had it not been for the legal, financial and legislative pressure exerted. Those exerting the pressure don’t seem, however, to realize that they’re playing a game if whack-a-mole that’s been going on for a very long time and that nobody has ever come close to winning. Do they think porn is this century’s Prohibition? Pick up a history book and read about how much success the Anti-Saloon League had while you sip your favorite alcoholic beverage from the package store down the street. No, the other package store. No, the other other one.

I did not say - or imply - anything of the kind. I said absolutely nothing about Tops viewing harnesses as permission to do anything without consent, and I have never experienced such a thing. I only said that in my personal lived experience Tops tend to fuck rougher when I wear a harness than when I don’t. I don’t claim that every Top does that. I don’t claim that every Top does anything. So, yes, harnesses can change the way a fuck goes. Sorry if that doesn’t match your theory. As to ‘Top harnesses’ and ‘bottom harnesses’ - sez who? I’ve been around a lot of men strapped up in leather and I’ve yet to encounter anyone who got his nuts in a tangle because somebody was wearing the ‘wrong’ harness. That sounds like some very local thing to me. The Fistfy.com “Complete Guide to Harness” makes no mention of a difference. Across Reddit it seems to be considered an ‘anybody thing’. Style is highly variable between groups, codes are even more so, and the Internet can provide an exception to every Rule, so there’s little point in making a fashion statement sound like a creed. The bottom line is that harnesses began as bondage restraints. All but the most minimal still are. Suggesting that a bondage restraint of any kind is unsuitable for a bottom - when the bottom is involved in scenes where such gear is worn - is absurd.

This makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. There are Roman frescoes on the walls of everyday households in Pompeii adorned with scenes of sexual acts. A statue was unearthed there of Pan doing the Deed with a she-goat. In marble! The Aztecs had a goddess - Tlazōlteōtl - specifically dedicated as the patron of vice, steam baths, lust, filth, prostitutes and adulterers (and the purification of the same after encouraging them to do it). A 4,000-year-old Babylonian bas-relief in The Israeli Museum is considered to be the world’s oldest depiction of anal sex, and why not? Herodotus tells us the Babylonians were sexually adventurous even by Greek standards (which was saying something) and loved watersports. There have been no human cultures - zero - in which the fascination with the prurient has not existed. These poor, deeply repressed and sadly deluded zealots who think they’re going to abolish the commercial sex industry once and for all haven’t cracked a history book, or they’d give it up in despair. The entire Victorian Era failed to prevent Pornhub. I’m not a big porn consumer, but I used to go to Pornhub to check out certain compilations. Suddenly, they were all gone, thanks to the machinations of these people. But you know what? I can get to practically every one of them now, and more besides, on xHamster and BarebackBastards. In a matter of less that six months, it was all back. How long did they have to work the politicians, push through the tortuous process of making laws, fighting the time-sucking legal challenges, just to gain their token victory? Way longer than that. Neither they nor anyone else has the stamina to win a war against humanity’s lust. They’re just sweeping the tide back into the sea. By the way, I think you’ll find this article on the pornography of the Roman World fascinating: [think before following links] [think before following links] https://vermiliongoldfishartblog.wordpress.com/2017/06/02/pompeii-pornography-power/ As libertine as they were, they did have acts considered tabu - and fellatio was among them. Sorry, cocksuckers.

I have to disagree. I have had Tops who seem to discover a new level of aggression if I wear a harness. It’s as though my having it on signals them that they have license to be a little (or a lot) rougher. Sometimes I’ll sense that a Top who hasn’t really encountered a harness before suddenly discovers that it’s something he can grab onto, and it’s very handy, and it gives him leverage to hard and deep, and where has this been all his life? Almost without exception, those fucks end with a satisfied slap on my ass. Yes, both roles wear them. But harnesses make a subtle statement about sexual readiness, intent and potential that you don’t read without them. And if you read that into them, you’re more likely to act accordingly.

Thank you.

I do some work in leather and have made harnesses for myself before. You can get very elaborate and complicated if you want, with lots of metal, but I find that in the end a simple structure designed to strategically frame muscular assets is best. You’re not wrong, by the way, in thinking that some of the latter-day livery is intended chiefly for appearances - my go-to Top recently gifted me a rather nice black harness with white piping, which I was surprised to find flattered even my unremarkable physique. It’s made, however, of neoprene - not something a Top can use as a grip for savage handling. The harness wouldn’t survive the fuck undamaged. Therefore, eye candy. And for that kind of fuck, I’d rather he gripped me by my neck, throat or hair anyway.

And the pic showing you off in it is ... where...? Don’t be a tease.

You speak of the ‘Information Age’ as though you mean the ‘Age of Enlightenment’. It’s anything but. Current events paint a stark picture of how radically the modern system of information dispersal promotes disinformation and empowers ignorance. Although the human mind is capable of brilliant insight and deep comprehension, that is the exception to human behavior rather than the rule. Instead, humans are by and large myopic, irrational, self-interested creatures still driven by limbic impulses and base instincts manifesting as emotional reaction. The herd still acts like a herd because it’s survived (and prospered obscenely) doing so for 50,000 years. There’s no imperative for humanity to shed its animal nature. Not quite yet, anyway. We are swiftly compromising our environment and our societies to the point that we may soon have to undergo significant adaptation to survive. The vast majority of people are not taught how to think critically, or at least never acquire the habit. It requires effort, and humans tend to be intellectually lazy. What’s more, deep thought often results in one realizing that most issues are much more complicated than they first appear, and the more one thinks about them, the less simple life seems to be in general. This sits so poorly with the average person that one might argue that humans as a mass may not be well-suited for intellect at all. No, you cannot expect men to screw their heads on straight about being “clean” anytime soon. They’re mired in a tar-pit of fear of what they do know about STDs, confusion about the conflicting information that’s flying around the web faster than they can sort it, and plain ignorance about questions they don’t even know to ask because they’re not stopping to think any of it through. Thinking is work, and not that many people know how to do it very well. It’s much easier to make a noise and see what noise comes back - that’s basically what goes on in the apps now - everybody’s stopped interacting at a meaningful level and are now just blindly pinging each other like submarines, hoping to get a familiar response that means it’s safe to raise the periscope. Factualness, accuracy, and objectivity are not values to most people unless they are instrumental as the quickest means of obtaining human needs (for reference, see Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs). The trouble is, not all needs are equal, or equally important at any given time. I may be so hungry I don’t give a damn about sex, but later I may be more than happy to skip a meal or two to slut around the clock at the bathhouse - yet food and sex are both essential. So are health, wellness, and social acceptance. We may be incredulous that a guy would recklessly expose himself to STDs in spite of all the best advice, but that advice doesn’t get him what he needs in that moment - sexual release, or a sense of belonging to a group of men whose sexual active lifestyle he admires. You’ll drive yourself crazy holding high expectations of your fellow human beings. I know this probably sounds jaded and bitter, but I no longer expect the best of people around me - I used to, very much, but they disappointed me every single time. They continue to do so. I’ve come to the conclusion that the standard I set for myself and demand of myself is simply too much to expect of anyone else around me. This is evident to me in that no matter how honest I am in my expressions, people can no longer even recognize integrity when they encounter it. “I expect you to be HIV, but I don’t require it” is just shorthand for “I’m going to fuck you regardless of your status, and you know it, and I know you know, and you know I know you know, because you’re not going to tell me the truth to begin with and I know you’re not, and you know I know, and I know you know I know.” *~ping~* This is why I don’t start dialogue or indulge chatters when I take cock. I let my ass do all the talking. In the end, the discussion between their cocks and my cunt are the only honest conversations I’ll have all night. And that’s a rant.

Without seeing your ad we don’t know what approach you’re using, so it’s hard to advise you what to say any differently. I would suggest, however, that you avoid mention of how much you need or want the Top’s service; they don’t care, and this can paint you as needy or greedy, both of which can be turnoffs. Instead, describe what you can offer, why it sets you above the rest (be at least marginally honest about your talents and appearance), and make it clear that your goal is to make sure the Top is well served. As others have said, cocksuckers are dime-a-dozen. Polls on this site consistently represent a distribution of about 66% bottom ratio, with only about 9% of the remainder being Total Tops, and not every Top likes head. You’re already fishing for less common fish, and the water is swimming with bait. It takes an exceptional mouth to stand out from the pack on its own merits. Otherwise, the successful ones either have the blessing of youth and beauty, or a gift with words. My mouth is not particularly notable (though some seem to enjoy it) and the gods of Beauty turned their back on me long ago. Fortunately, the God of Ass was kind and took a liking to me, and I have something special to offer besides my mouth. You may wish to consider offering more services to sweeten the pot - for instance, you might learn how to give massages and offer to do that as well, or at least foot-rubs. Free beer? If you don’t think your appearance is competitive, are there things you could do to change that up? Visit a gym? Work on grooming? Even wearing a full-head mask can be a turn-on for certain tops. Be imaginative - it’s a jungle out there.

You apply value-laden words to your self-description (which is if course your prerogative) but I wonder whether you’re actually as ‘twisted’ as you think, or whether the pleasure you take is as ‘untoward’ as you imagine. While sexual sadism is a formal paraphilia, your narrative here and elsewhere does not seem to suggest that you exhibit such traits to that extremity. I have been in the hands of unquestionable sexual sadists for whose methods the word ‘untoward’ would be darkly humorous. Rather, the kind of pleasure you describe I have found to be relatively widespread among penetrators of at least geater-than-average aggression and drive. I find that men’s urge to dominate me sexually seems to increase as the action becomes moves closer in form to reproductive function; I firmly believe that an instinctual component manifests at that point, and some core element of the male animal brain responds to an eons-old imperative to impregnate by force. As the brain’s pleasure centers are designed to promote the most basic of survival functions, it is hardly surprising if a penetrator takes satisfaction in a conquest-by-phallus. Similarly, I’m not sure I see what is necessarily twisted in cunting males if certain males (such as myself) were by every indication born for that very purpose. I do not consider myself a masochist - I can (and have) endured a variety of pain, but I neither seek it nor require it for my fulfillment - yet I particularly relish serving men such as yourself who simply are not hesitant to use the cunt at your disposal in the way that will bring you the greatest pleasure. If witnessing my distress as I endure the natural violence of his sex excites and gratifies him, that doesn’t surprise me in the least, and I consider it neither twisted nor untoward. I only wish that men of your stamp were more commonly to be found who would challenge my cunt to its limits. It may be that it pleases you to think of your approach to penetration as twisted, and your pleasures untoward, and if so I don’t mean to distract from that. I only mean to say that I find what you describe to be more desirable than not in a man who would penetrate me.

“Defense” implies unwillingness, though, does it not? While I understand and appreciate the sentiment you express, do you think it applies to a majority of Tops? I would have thought most Tops would prefer the accommodation of willing and inviting holes that do their best to meet the demands of the invading phallus. I can readily see Top satisfaction arising from overcoming the resistance that occurs when the cunt tries but fails to adapt; but if the bottom is actively attempting to resist penetration (which would by definition place the act in the category of rape) I can only imagine a Top feeling frustration and annoyance. Granted, a certain kind of Dominant, aggressive Top may readily translate that frustration and annoyance into brute sexual force. His inevitable successful penetration will likely gratify his desire for power and control. But I would think this would only apply to a subset of Tops. I may be mistaken, as I work very hard to accept even the largest cocks with as little resistance as possible, and am usually met with expressions of deep satisfaction from Tops as they settle in balls-deep. Even in those occasions when I haven’t fully expanded, I usually only get something like a curt “Open that shit up” rather that a concerted effort to break through a barrier. I welcome a Top gaining his deepest entry into me by whatever means are most satisfying to him. I just don’t necessarily see that many looking for actual resistance.

A frequency of 90% of the time strikes me as considerably higher than normal, as the prevalence of STDs in the population is simply not statistically high enough to result in that kind of frequency on the basis of a random set of encounters. It seems to me, however, that the clue may lie in the fact that this happens every time you go to a particular bathhouse, which will have a clientele of regular repeat patrons. I can imagine a situation in which you repeatedly go ass-up at this place and one guy who spends a lot of time there always fucks you when you’re there… and he’s a walking STD factory. Your frequent bad luck could be down to a single individual. Or, it could be that two or three regular sluts at that bathhouse happen to be the irresponsible types who knowingly fuck while infected, and between them manage to keep a reservoir of contagion in circulation at that venue. Frankly, I’d be surprised if your doctor readily agrees to preventative prophylactic antibiotics if you aren’t immune-compromised - unnecessary use of antibiotics is a good way to ensure the development of antibiotic-resistant strains. I might suggest that you’re not doing yourself any favors if you’re going into a cumdumping situation with your brain compromised with Extasy or G. It’s always a good idea to have your head on straight when your ass is loose.

The location of the chaffing sensation matters here. If you’re feeling the discomfort on the relatively tender skin of your ass on the approach to your anus, that suggests fungal infection, or possibly symptoms of an STD if a red rash or bumps are present. If you’ve changed lubes, you could also be dealing with an allergic reaction to something in the lube - certain lubes absolutely set my hole on fire (not in a good way) and I can’t fuck with them. If the chafing sensation is at your hole or inside, another possibility is hemorrhoids that may have developed and may be becoming inflamed and irritated by the repeated or prolonged fucking. If this is the case, all the advice you’re getting to just take more cock is simply going to exacerbate the problem until you resolve them. Always remember - our anuses aren’t biologically designed to be used the way we bottoms use them. To stay in fucking form, we have to pay close attention if our holes signal that something’s wrong. Don’t hesitate to check with your doctor if this keeps up. And always stay well-lubed during your fuck. It feels better for you, and what your Top really wants, after all, is to get his dick wet.

Could you be a bit more specific in what you mean by “sensitive”? What are you feeling exactly, and at what point do you start feeling it? Advice that calls for simply deadening your body’s ability to sense pain or irritation without addressing the underlying cause may result in more harm than good. And the rubbish above about using lube with Methamphetamine in it - please don’t mistake that comment for actual advice. He’s just irresponsibly indulging his own fantasies at your expense.