ErosWired

Note that this is an amendment to California’s civil code, providing the victims of stealthing a mechanism by which they may file suit against the stealther to gain recompense for the various harms done. I should think that if you now agree to fuck with a condom on in California, you should be very cautious about removing it. It strikes me that the law is just as likely to have a chilling effect on overall condom use if people become afraid of being sued by false claimants.

You somehow always manage to work cock into the conversation, don’t you? It’s a gift.

I get asked a lot if I’m pre-loaded. It’s starting to be a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t kind of question, though, because on the one hand, it seems like as soon as I say yes, the Top says he only fucks if he’s the first. On the other hand, I never know if the guy asking is actually interested in fucking a cummy hole, or just wanting to know how big a slut I am. I get these guys who ask me, then ask me again an hour later, and keep asking - they’re obviously just keeping tabs for their own enjoyment. I also get these suspect cases who say they want to breed me, but only after I’ve taken an oddly specific number of loads - like 8. Why 8? Is that his lucky number? Does he plan to count them, and if so, how, exactly, does one do that? Or is he figuring I’ll never actually make it to 8 and he can have his thrill without any need to actually follow through? If a Top says he only wants to fuck me if I already have a load in me, is it ethical to tell him to come on over, then jack off and fill up with my own load? I don’t know. If what he wants is to fuck a hole another Top has very recently fucked, it would be deceptive - even using someone else’s frozen cum wouldn’t fit the bill. But if all he wants is to have another man’s semen on his cock, then it should serve the purpose. I know. I think too much. I get headaches.

Holmes felt a wave of consternation - he had deduced beyond any doubt and thus represented to the Magistrate that Mr. Fortescue was the most prolific and reprobate fornicator in all of Cuntbreeding Lane; indeed, a prophylactic stuck to a man’s shoe could mean but one thing. Yet somehow he had overlooked Fortescue’s employment at the condom manufactory.

I always feel that I should add the caveat, when giving cocksucking advice, that it’s not my specialty. Others’ advice is probably better.

I find that practice with the right size cock/dildo/object helps. I can manage with no trouble at a certain diameter; a little bigger and I’m struggling; a little bigger than that and it’s time to switch to my ass. If you’re able to maintain a feeling that you’re in control of the reflex the whole time, you should be able to gradually desensitize yourself to it. I second @Qilly55’s suggestion above to hang your head backward from the edge of the bed. This does two things: It aligns your throat relatively straight with your mouth for penetration; and your uvula, the gag trigger that hangs at the entry to your throat, is no longer hanging down begging to be triggered. I usually end up this way with my regular Top, as he enjoys fucking my throat before getting down to serious breeding. One thing to add - I saw a video clip the other day of a guy deep-throating a peeled banana. I would not recommend trying this. A banana could very easily break off with the deep-throated portion still firmly lodged in your windpipe and no way of pulling it out. Which is, actually, a reminder that we have a gag reflex for a reason.

I don’t know... I would think that a cosmetologist’s stock-in-trade being keen observation of the outward appearance of other human beings, he might well have developed a knack for discerning the tell-tale clues that betray an action. And what’s more, he then has ample time with that person in the chair to talk and find out if his suspicions were correct, and thus over time become astute at both observation and deduction. The conclusions drawn by Sherlock Holmes were always portrayed as quite astounding until he explained how they were simply matters of careful observation and logical deduction. The trick is being able to make the observations.

If you’re on the spectrum, it doesn’t necessarily mean you need any treatment - your brain would just be wired differently than the average person’s. I think of myself as the “other kind of normal”. 🙂 The key is to teach yourself to notice (i.e., to look for) the hardon, the licking and the smiling - if you can do that, you’re miles ahead of me. Once you notice those cues, it’s simple: You jump his bones. Anybody ought to be able to figure that out. By the way, in answer to the OP, people very often know that I’ve been cunted - because I sign on here and announce it to the whole fucking planet. Some people may know just by looking if they’re watching as the Top struts away from my wrecked cunt in the bathhouse steamroom or if the room to my door is open, or at one of the open-air venues at the campground... yeah, I think they know then. Not sure if I give off any subtle clues...

This is fascinating to me. Being autistic, I can’t read physical cues coming off people, and things like gaydar, non-verbal signaling while cruising, and something like this seem like a superpower to me. I have to compensate by learning exactly what to look for, or how to signal, so I can deliberately do what most people do without thinking about it. (In return for not being able to automatically read body language, though, I’m especially sensitive to verbal cues that suggest people’s intent - not a bad trade-off, except it’s not as useful for getting fucked.)

This is lacking somewhat in detail. What, in fact, happens when “shit happens”, to bring about such a positive result?

Usually I would agree. In this and similar cases, though, the term is used to draw a division between two groups of Tops: Those who are good Tops, and, therefore, those who are not. It becomes a binary construction in context. Here on BZ I have observed a tendency to use phrases like “a good bottom will always do this” or “a good cumdump does that”. In this context, good signifies “genuine” or in some other exclusionary way acceptable, and is used in a way closely akin to “a real bottom” or “a true bottom”. The discussions most often revolve around strong binary opinions as to whether this or that trait qualifies one as a bona fide bottom. Since any such metric is highly subjective at best, it makes most sense to me to call it what it is - the expression of an ideal preference. Otherwise, the words begin to divide us.

I think y’all are confusing “good” with “ideal”. I see this turning into a checklist that would disqualify 99% of the Tops out there, and make those that passed self-conscious. You want they should bring you a box of chocolates as well? I grant you that a certain minimum threshold really needs to be met if a Top wishes to be considered an acceptable performer (an erection, for a start) but the problem with declaring what makes someone a “good” Top is that you automatically, by default, also define every other Top as a “bad” Top. (Note that putting the words in quotes doesn’t actually change the sense they impart.) The question leads us to the same unsupportable notions as any number of Topics on here that discuss “good” bottoms and “good” cumdumps. I can’t agree that a Top who’s done after one orgasm isn’t a good Top. That’s crazy talk. It’s great if a guy can go another round, but is he undesirable as a breeder if he doesn’t? If your answer is yes, your expectations are unreasonable; the vast majority of Tops are one-and-done. Mind you, you’re not going to hear me complain when a Top wants back in, and my current regular Top always climaxes in me three - sometimes four - times per session. Yes, he’s an excellent Top, no argument. But by the time he’s finished with my first breeding of the evening he’s already fucked me so far into the mattress I’m spitting out springs, and if he wanted to stop there I would be just fine with that, and he would still be an outstanding Top. But he doesn’t stop. Is a Top undesirable if he isn’t a heavy cummer? What’s your definition of heavy? The average volume of a human ejaculation is around 2.8mL - that’s just over half a teaspoon. The high end for the population at large is about 5mL. Anything over that is getting into the high-90th percentile of cum producers. Sure, everybody can probably point to an exception to this - I’ve definitely had the floodgates opened into me before - I know how that feels. But most of the time, it’s more a case of a little going a long way. It would never occur to me to think about whether a Top was “good” or not on the basis of volume. Maybe ‘What makes a good Top’ isn’t the best way to approach the question; maybe it would be more useful to ask ‘What makes a skilled Top’ or ‘What makes an effective Top’ or even ‘What makes an ideal Top’ - though that last one is probably less useful in that it basically asks for fantasy criteria.

Which one? My answer is ‘Yes.’ Where, may one ask, is this display?

I’m not sure if a “sexual awakening” is what’s going on with a lot of these people. If they were becoming sexually awakened, they would become more participatory as their desire to experience a newly realized aspect of their lives increased. I think your first observation is more to the point, that an overabundance of apps has provided a window onto the lives of sexually active people for a larger audience of voyeurs who previously had not been as connected to it. A cumdump who once tried to attract men through the relative obscurity of a Craigslist ad is no longer playing to a select audience - all of Grindr, Squirt, Sniffies, A4A, Growlr and more are watching, and the vast majority of them are just looking for online titillation to begin with - i.e., they’re still, for all practical purposes, sexually asleep.

Actually, that should be hard to understand, because a well human mind does not delight in cruelty. The person who behaves so suffers from a disordered personality somewhere in the range between sociopathy and sadistic personality disorder. To characterize them as simply assholes suggests that they’re merely on the unpleasant side of mainstream normal, but they’re not - that behavior is aberrant. It’s not hard to understand a man who finds that the state of heated lust which led him to arrange a hookup has suddenly vanished the instant he finishes an anticipatory orgasm. So it’s not hard to understand why a man might be embarrassed or reluctant to go through with a meet in that circumstance. It’s still a shitty, dishonorable thing to do, but we can understand it because it’s a predictable reaction rather than something intended to cause hurt. In the instance of the sort of man we’re discussing here, though, his thought process is not one common to most people (and thank God it isn’t), and so antithetical to the decency that people expect as a bare minimum in social interaction that it ought to be difficult to fathom.

Twenty minutes? You were luckier than me. I once drove nearly an hour and a half to meet a guy who led me to him right up to the last major intersection - and then vanished. Just...inexcusable. I can’t even put myself in the headspace of someone who does something like that. How are they able to look at themselves in the mirror?

The biology of sex is significantly studied, to the point that we understand the degree to which the body reacts to chemistry that it produces internally during sex, and to which it is exposed from the other participant. Arousal is indeed largely a matter of the mind, but the mind also receives a barrage of cues from the senses and other biochemical processes that start firing when the potential for breeding arises. Some of these internal chemical changes are processes we have evolved to forge bonds between individuals involved in mating to ensure a connection for the raising of offspring. In the strictest sense, you could say there is an 'essence' to semen, in the form of a number of compounds that are transferred from the Top to the recipient that, when absorbed, act in the manner of a drug to induce feelings of pleasure and well-being, and to promote bonding. When a Man floods my cunt with his cum, I can feel the change in me; it is more than something in my thought - it is something that he has induced in me. There is a different sort of 'essence' to semen, though, I think, in a philosophical sense as well, that comes into play in the context of male-on-male sex. I can't speak for everyone of course, but for myself I can say that there is something profound about the idea of another masculine being entering my body and depositing his masculine essence inside me. I am male, and have masculine essence of my own, yet he will physically penetrate to my interior and inject his masculinity there - imposing his own masculine essence over mine, supplanting it. What's more, when he does it I actually feel the power of him wash over and suffuse into my body because his chemistry causes my body to react. He breeds me because he is driven strongly by his masculine instinct to breed, to inseminate. I don't have that same strong instinct. Instead, I somehow instinctively understand that I am meant to be the cunt that receives his breeding. When I contemplate this, I can't help feeling that there is something very essential, very basic about it, a fundamental truth that it tells about men like him and men like me. It feels as though there is an order to things, in which he is meant to breed me and I am meant to be bred. An order in which his masculinity dominates mine by virtue of his potent semen.

I think that’s why I felt like I should post this when I found it. The general tenor of so many of these accounts paint the experience in a positive, if not lurid hue, that I can imagine someone genuinely traumatized by such an experience feeling as though he would not be accepted if he shared his feelings. I don’t pretend to put my feet in the shoes of anyone who was attacked as a child - my own experiences of sexual assault have come well into adulthood - so I don’t claim to understand the complexities of anyone’s reaction to it. But sexual assault does harm children, and if anyone here is even secretly struggling with that in his life I would hope he could find a little support here. Especially if there are some who would glorify it for the sake of pure titillation.

I often read in topics here accounts by members who had their first introduction to sexual matters at an early age - some very early - and many attest that they not only were not harmed by it, but are glad it happened. I hope that is true for them, but given the relatively large number of men who tell of such early events here, I thought I would post a link to a site I just happened across that appears to offer a number of links to support resources for survivors of sexual trauma. The site is here: [think before following links] https://malesurvivor.org/healing-resources/ I hope that might be helpful to someone. I count myself blessed that I somehow managed to get through my young years without anyone sexually assaulting me. I attribute it partly to my being so utterly oblivious to sexuality for so long that I never would have noticed; the single incident that happened was a guy rubbing his cock through his pants where I could see it through the shelf at the public library. I was too focused on the books to give it any significance. But I was such an innocent that I know someone could have hurt me very badly.

Gingko (Gingko biloba, aka Maidenhair Tree) are notorious for this. Gingko are gendered, so the female trees are the culprits. There’s a spot on the campus of Western Kentucky University where the trees are beautiful but the odor will knock you down.

But this is exactly the thing. A 7”-8” cock is not an average-sized cock. The average human penis is between 5.1” and 5.5” long. An 8” cock is somewhere around the 90th percentile. So if a man’s cunt is so loose he can no longer feel a cunt smaller than 8”, he’s basically supersized himself out of being able to enjoy 9 out of any 10 cocks he encounters. This topic interests me because I am on the cusp of taking my first fist. I mentioned to my regular local Top that I have been wanting to find a Top willing to open me up, and asked if he had ever fisted anyone. It turns out he’s fisted lots and lots of men, loves doing it, and had just assumed I didn’t because fucking me isn’t like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. On Monday night he got within half an inch of doing it on the first try. As we discussed it, though, he said he hoped I wouldn’t become like a lot of bottoms he’s encountered who, once they take a fist, pretty much only want fisting after that. He said that many just keep on going with it, getting looser and looser until they’re basically unfuckable, and sometimes incontinent as well. He mentioned that he knew a man who took advantage of having had his foot amputated to insert his leg into partner’s hole up to his knee. I mean...one hardly knows what to say. I can’t imagine wanting to be that loose. I savor every sensation of a cock’s penetration of my cunt and what it signifies, and would never want to lose the ability to appreciate that. Nor, much more importantly, would I want to risk losing my ability so sense with my ass the subtle movements that signal a Top’s state of play, and the fine muscular control I have to enhance his fuck within my body. But I am going to take his fist. It’s not as though I have a choice now anyway - he’s too excited about it. After his first attempt, the entire time he was fucking me he had this gleam in his eye and kept saying, “I’m gonna put my fist all the way up in you.” So... yeah. I think I can predict the future. Which means that soon I’ll be able to provide a better answer to this topic. But I do wonder, for those of you who have gone to the outer limits, do you think it’s worth the sacrifice of being able to enjoy normal sex to be able to feel someone’s hand inside you? I realize it’s not automatically an either/or situation, but as the former member quoted above indicates, he, at least, experienced some loss in exchange for what he obtained.

I wasn’t actually criticizing the use of eggplants - you’re right that a strategically used emoji can deliver a lot more information in a single character. This can be chancy, though, because if all of the things the image signifies don’t support your intent, they can potentially undermine it. I get what’s meant by the eggplant, for instance, but can’t help a feeling that it’s also slightly ridiculous. If, instead of 👀4🍆 the person chose 👀4🐓, what would be the general sense? It would still probably be understood that he was looking for cock, but there might be a subconscious sense that he was interested in chickens. Even seeing 👀 leaves me feeling vaguely like I might be getting fucked by a cartoon character. Bear in mind, though, that linguistics and writing systems are one of my favorite subjects of study, and I almost certainly think about this stuff way too much.

I’m afraid your ex’s daughter may have been confused. Vaseline does not open pores; on the contrary, it seals the skin with a barrier resistant to water - that’s how it helps with dryness. Vaseline may help to avoid direct contact with fluid and subsequent burning, but it isn’t going to do anything to enhance the ‘rush’. Nor, indeed, could it - poppers are not absorbed through pores in the skin, but directly through respiration. No amount of pore-opening is going to make any difference. The ‘rush’ from poppers is the feeling of increased blood flow to the brain due to the relaxation of the tissue of the blood vessels. To the OP: Yes, inhalation by mouth is just as effective. The entire point is to get the fumes into the lungs. One thing to note regarding burns and headaches - these effects are reported to be much more common with formulations of poppers made with isopropyl nitrite, as opposed to isobutyl nitrite. Isopropyl is also demonstrated to cause eye damage. Avoid using Isopropyl-based poppers whenever possible.

I imagine I’m a little unlike the average guy in that I’m reeled in largely by things that have little to do with sex - if a username shows wit, or humor, or a literary allusion, or imparts an air of mystery, I’ll spend some time on that. The one I mentioned above, You’veFuckedWorse, struck me as clever and the result of some thought, which is key for me - I’m attracted to brains. Just glancing at the apps now, I see one going as ‘MethodicMadness’ - he sounds interesting. ‘NeedsBred!’ - not so much. But I don’t actually go shopping on the apps myself anyway. I just use them basically as a bulletin board to let men know where I am with my ass up, and let whoever wants it come get it. So who I find interesting really isn’t as important a question for what I do as whether I manage to interest them.

Are there usernames that make you want to definitely check out a profile, or ones that are an instant Nope? Some apps keep the UN rigid, but others, like Grindr, let you change your display name on a whim, or for effect. I chose ErosWired a long time ago, as a representation of the sexual aspect of my personality (eros) in the electronic realm (wired). It says what I meant it to say, but in hindsight it’s not very useful in telling anyone about what I’m looking for or what I offer. I like creative, clever usernames - they always make me want to read the profile. The other day I chanced across a guy under the handle ‘You’veFuckedWorse’. I had to ask him whether that was actually a counterintuitively effective strategy. He said it got him a lot of conversations, but as always things fell apart actually trying to get something set up. I felt his pain. Clearly, some guys spend zero time trying to be creative - btmhole4u45235 (not an actual UN as far as I know, but there could easily be 45,234 of these out there). To my mind, this bottom has done himself no favor; he’s announced that he’s a bottom, but at the same time made himself appear about as unremarkable a bottom as possible, and given the teeming mass of bottoms angling for limited cock, that’s a sure way of not getting any. ’Probably Not’ - I actually saw this recently. Why do this on a hookup site? ’Bored’ - Self-explanatory. Then you have the plain-announcement types: 👀4🍆 - (Who knew eggplant was in such demand?) ’Hosting’ - Hosting who, for what? I, on the other hand, will sometimes switch my Grindr handle to ‘HostingTopsNOW’, but given my recent abysmal luck with Grindr, I don’t know if that’s any more effective. Simple straightforward demands: ’CumBloMe’ ’HMU’ ’UseMe’ And a kaleidoscope of descriptions of what they ‘need’: ‘NeedHeadNow’ ’DaddyNeedsFresh🍆’ (There’s a grocery down the street, man) ’btmNeeds_____[fill in the blank] ... like anybody cares what they need. Guys are on there looking to meet their own needs. So as a sales pitch, this seems weak to me. But maybe I’ve got it wrong. I look at a username on a hookup site as a sales pitch, the first shot fired in a marketing strategy to recruit fucks. I think a username is the first, and sometimes the only, chance you have to tell the viewer something about yourself and your intentions beyond what they can glean from your profile pic. Lately I’ve begun trying something different on Grindr - once I take a load, I change my username to ‘OneLoadIn’. After the next, ‘TwoLoadsIn’. Then ‘ThreeLoadsIn’ and so on. I do this because so many Tops say they’re looking for a pre-loaded hole, but it has also been suggested to me that I’m hurting my chances by making myself seem like a whore. What do you think? What’s the most effective use of the username? Are there choices guys should steer clear of? Red flags that say ‘stay away’? Or ones you can’t resist clicking on?