BrazilianWandering

I wish I cared less about myself to actually show something that would identify me. Being degraded is a turn-on I hide from most people out there.

When I finally arrived in Rio again, it had been over three years since my last visit. My ex-boyfriend was at the gate waiting for me with a smile on his face and a bag, as he was coming from a smaller town near the capital. We hugged, but the heat of his body pulled me closer, so we ended up kissing. The nostalgia came rushing in from that soft, calm kiss, and I knew everything I promised myself during the flight wouldn't really come true -- we could never act as friends, I was going to fuck him the whole way. Truth be told, I was expecting it from the beginning. We had dated for four years and we never went at it without condoms because people didn't talk about what it meant to be undetectable back then. When I met him again, I knew it would be alright. So, as soon as we closed the door on his room, he got on top of me and fucked me as passionately as he had always wanted to, deep and fast and wet, and filled me up perfectly. I don't think I had ever seen him cumming so much, I could feel his muscles tensing up inside me, I could actually feel the warmth of a really wet, full orgasm. I didn't even leave bed after that, I just wanted to sleep with it inside me. The next day, we had sex again as we woke up, but his foreskin was really thin and it ripped apart with the rhythm. He freaked out and wanted us to go to the clinic to make sure nothing bad would happen. That's how everything starts sounding like a movie, so brace yourselves. We waited for what seemed like forever, and finally a very cute, young doctor called me in. I told him what happened and he chastised me for being so reckless. A nurse burst inside, and I think he must have been listening (from how quick he was to speak his mind in the next scene heheheh), and said he had already written out my PEP prescription and that the doctor should hurry off to the next patient because the queue was getting bigger really quickly. The doctor dismissed me and told me to be less irrational, and then he left to an inaccessible area in the clinic. The nurse closed the door, locked it and asked if I was feeling okay. I told him it was fine, that I had witnessed people who aren't too cheery about the gays before and that it didn't faze me. He said he sympathized and asked me why I fucked my boyfriend bareback if I knew he was infected. I told him I knew undetected folks couldn't get infected and that I had wanted to feel his dick properly for a while. He said he got it, but asked if it actually turned me on, because maybe I needed to talk to a psychologist before I was let go. I told him it was fine, but that I preferred skin on skin. He asked me if I found him attractive and I told him yes. He asked me if he could kiss me and I just leaned in and we started dancing in our mouths. His kiss was super smooth and patient. I could barely process things with how fast he was to remove his medical garments and take off my shirt. I got up from the chair and we started making out on the wall, him stroking me through my shorts while I moaned quietly, trying not to call any attention. He took off my shorts, then my underwear, and began sucking me off while twisting his hand on the base of my shaft. That is one of the most delicious things I've ever felt with a blowjob, man, people should do that more often. He stopped for a bit and asked me, and this is where it gets crucial: "Are you sure you're not horny about someone who's infected?" "Why?," I asked, feeling my heart pound faster. "I just found out I got it last week. It's no surprise, I've been looking for it. Being in a medical profession has exposed me to a lot of talk about it and it just made me hornier and hornier. You do like being fucked raw, right?" "I... I do." "I do too. I take a risk every day. You wouldn't believe how many guys are willing to do it right out of the gate. Would you like me to fuck you?" "Are you really that infected?" "It's the highest risk you're ever going to take." I had a moment to think about it. My dick was pounding, almost hurting, and he pushed his weight onto me. He was stronger, not like a big deal, but enough to keep me there until I could give an actual answer. His dick went up, which is something I really like, because it hits all the right spots and there's nothing like a vertical dick to spell virility. Mine is bent a little bit downwards and I always wanted it to be more alive, like with these guys. Uncut, too, with the head all exposed and ready to act. Uncut dicks are rare in Brazil. I couldn't think straight. The only thing I could think of saying was asking him if he'd fulfill one of my deepest fetishes, something I'm always happy with when I'm finished fucking: "Do you cum a lot?" "It depends, but I haven't jerked off today, so you're in luck." "Save a bit for the butthole, I wanna taste it." "Are you saying yes?" "I'm willing to take the risk." He immediately went down and started licking my ass furiously, sticking his tongue considerably inside, that I could feel him lubricating me for a good part of the entrance. After a couple of minutes, when he was done and I moaned (it wasn't that intense, but I wanted him to get into it), he kept spitting on his dick and spreading it to get started. We fucked missionary at first, then I sat on him for a while, sometimes really slow -- and it was unbearable, because I wanted him to be rougher -- and sometimes really quickly, and I could feel him shifting to something more primal. More yells, more carnal desire, more lack of control while he pushed every last inch of his dick inside me. When he was done fucking me while we were standing, he pulled out and there was a string of blood going from his head's tip to the shaft. He took a pause. "I made you bleed. If I cum, it's the real deal, you're very likely to get it. Are you serious about this?", he asked. "I'm not sure. But I want to feel free. Do what your head tells you to, I'm not in a position to decide," I replied. My heart never pounded faster than right then. "I need you to tell me you're okay with this, because I don't want to regret it. I need you to tell me you're thankful for it, and not regretful." "Mark your territory," I decided. He kissed me roughly and proceeded to fuck. It became painful because he was really trying to get as far as he could, and he wasn't exactly small. I could feel him reaching the walls, and stretching them out to make the next pounding be a little more comfortable. After a couple of minutes, it was all pleasure, and he had found my prostate, so there were crazy amounts of cum leaking out. It wasn't exactly like an orgasm, but something continuous, that made me squeeze my hand and shake my feet, but not enough to really feel like cumming. He kept going, and then he laid me down on the bed and I was on fours, being fucked like never before, on the doctor's table. He told me, "I'm actually going to get you infected after this fuck. You're probably all open inside. Will you let me do this to you more often? Are you really getting into the club?" I wasn't sure still, but I knew I wanted to feel that more often. Maybe, everyday. "Go through with it. Make your mark." He moaned as I finished speaking, feeling horny with the idea itself. He pounded as deep as he could for a couple of times, and then I could feel his dick tensing and releasing his cum. One, two, three, four, five... six times. And then he kept fucking, up until he could. He let it out with a wince and a half-hard dick completely lubricated with white cum, and streaks of red. "Your boyfriend is here, right?", he asked. "Yeah. He's positive too.", I replied. "Is he a boyfriend or an ex-boyfriend? I've been looking at you, and you seemed more interested in other visitors than him." "Ex. I'm visiting. Are you having ideas?" "If you can convince him, I don't think you'll have to waste so much time just being here. Unless you want to. You're getting the recipe. You've gotten fucked by him and he bled, and I fucked you mercilessly and you've bled again. I'm completely viral. Maybe you guys will even reconnect with the idea that you've got something to share. And we can meet some of his friends." "He's a little too chill for that, but I think we two can find buddies for ourselves without him. I might be able to get him to join after it's set up." "Dude, I just realized one of my life-long wishes ever since I got the results: I turned someone who was willing to have it in them. To be perfectly honest, me getting it was always kind of a wish I pushed away because it sounded too crazy. I'm happy now. I came so much inside you, it's probably one of the biggest loads I've ever given someone. And it's going to change your life for the better, now that you can be as promiscuous as you want. Carnaval is just around the corner..." "Thanks. I'm probably taking the meds to prevent giving it to other people without consent, sounds corny but I want everyone to be safe. But damn, it's comforting to know I can just offer my ass without the whole condom ceremony. This is going to be fun."

Hey guys. So, as you can see from my comments and posts before this, I am a serial dater, and one of the reasons I do it is to keep safe. Every time I'm single and out there, I like to be risky and let guys fuck me bareback. Sometimes I can't even feel the cum filling me inside, but I still get my rocks off from the fact that they're actually getting there. It's hard to explain it to myself, because if I was being rational, it wouldn't make any sense. But it's something that makes me horny and willing every time, sober or drunk. Anyway, I'm dating this new younger guy and it's been perfect so far, I'm not one to cheat and I like him enough that I wouldn't even think about it. We've waited three months to go bareback and we got tested before we ditched the condoms. But a part of me feels attracted to the idea of being used in general. Like, I'd like to have a permanent partner like him to build things with, but I'd also like for him to invite a couple of guys, or maybe even more, to fuck me and get their loads into me while he participates. I feel like the relationship that would leave me sexually satisfied would be one where there is this component of me taking unknown loads and not caring too much about it. Being poz from the get-go seems like an easier way to achieve that. I'm going to keep being faithful and happy with my current boyfriend, but I'd like to know what it's like for you guys who are already poz how it goes for relationships. Is it difficult? Do people not really care too much anymore? Are other poz guys naturally more promiscuous, but do they sometimes ask you for coffee? I might be willing to just get it over with at some point to be a little more free and less worrisome. I don't mind the hassle. I think about it all the time. It would actually make me happy to be with someone who could just be infected with me and go through the whole ordeal with me, because I think it's unfair that we get to have natural, unprotected sex in fear all the time while straight people are doing it only worried about pregnancies. Sorry for the rant.

My body has historically responded well to collateral effects warnings, so it doesn't really bother me if I end up having it at some point, as my username suggests I have the best coverage in the world, with the most experience and easy availability of modern drugs. I've dated two poz guys (my first boyfriend, who took my virginity -- with protection, mind you) and my last, who I broke up with last weekend unfortunately. He's still very dear to me and it hurts that I have to do it. In fact, I care so much that I wish I could go back, but I know I can't for all the stuff that is going to come rushing back once I do. Anyway, as soon as I broke up, riding on that adrenaline rush of leaving all of our History behind, I had sex with a guy from Argentina who's a teacher here, and he was very into raw sex, very built, all that jazz. Very fun session, but then I decided not to go for PEP and not to do anything. I have no idea who he is, what kind of care he takes of himself or whatever. If he's poz and undetectable, that's great, I'm even less worried. But if he's someone who's going through that "YOLO" phase, something could happen. I take other drugs, for unrelated issues (nothing related to sex, just one of those genetic "perks"), so sometimes I get hot flashes and flu-like stuff, so I always get paranoid. But I think things are less prominent than what everyone makes us think, so I'm not especially worried. I would say that, among my friends, we're at a 1 to 7 ratio (as far as I know). I make it a point to let people know my first boyfriend was poz so that they feel a little bit more comfortable about sharing their experiences or truths. I feel like I could round that up to a 1 to 5 at the worst, which is still better than the amount of bible-thumping evangelicals we get in Brazil in general. Anyway, I'm thinking about PrEP now, because I want to hit the saunas. But, at the same time, on the corner of my mind, I kind of want to just let it happen. The only thing that is currently stopping me is the hassle of having to "come out" as poz to every person I might have a long-lasting relationship with. I would be really annoyed at those who are too prejudiced about undetectable guys. That's something I'm kind of bored about. So I guess I'd rather prevent than to "get there." Then again, as a final consideration, I don't think I'd like to date a guy who openly says he wouldn't have a relationship with someone who is poz. That sounds like a major character flaw, and a lack of empathy. So maybe it's a "positive," natural filter? I know everything that's bad about it, from the pre-cocktail ages (rashes, cancers, premature deaths) to the annoying collateral effects, to the near-to but never exactly-like perfect health, and the issue of having to take a couple of pills everyday, but I still feel like being across the veil would be a liberation. Maybe I'm fucked in the head -- I probably am --, but I don't see a huge issue with it all. I guess I'll just go for PrEP in the name of practicality and saving my family from worrying, but I wouldn't mind personally. And I don't even feel it's self-destructive, because I do want to go for the long mile. It's more of a kink. Simply.

Okay guys. So here's the thing. I've been dating this guy for the past 5 months and he's HIV-positive. Here in Brazil we'd call him "safado", meaning he's done things that would grant him the status (the closest I can think of for the word's translation would be "shameless", or if I'm less lightly, slut), but he actually got it from a blood transfusion tied to a surgery. Anyway, we started dating, and after he showed me his viral count was undetectable, we lost the condoms. Here's the thing: we both got our wisdom teeth out at the same week, and soon after, for two days, I felt like shit. Weak, diarrhea, coughing, weakness with alcohol... Sure it all felt somewhat like the flu, but it was just slightly different. Nothing I've ever felt before, and since we were dating, I didn't bother to go to our healthcare system and get prevention meds. It might be this, might be that, maybe I'm just drinking too much. My grandmother (who lives with me) left to stay for a month with my sister and brother-in-law, so for the whole of September we were together all the time, and we made the most of it. We traveled, we partied and we drank. So maybe I just need nutrition or some water, because he does take his meds religiously and his count is super low. From a medical stand-point, he couldn't possibly transmit anything. Anyway, I haven't felt the same for the past few days since these two hellish ones. I've never felt this way period. Is there even a remote chance that I could be infected? I want to be prepared. Not only to deal with it in the best way possible, but also to be safe about everything, and making sure my immunity is high. HIV wouldn't destabilize me in a way that I'd become reckless, but it would be better if I had a heads up. Thanks anyway, and sorry for the ranting.

I read a similar article in Portuguese and it's insane. The pictures, the horror, the suffering... I feel for these guys. So young and completely out of options. Those who had money enough left for here or other neighboring countries, those who didn't are left to die in a way no one should be dying anymore. Venezuela's situation makes my heart ache.

I've been to the one in Belo Horizonte, it's pretty decent and there were a lot of hot guys. Definitely better than my first sauna experience in Rio. I heard it's crazy in the São Paulo branch. Lots of hot guys and sex.

Last time was on Friday, found a guy attractive on Grindr, we started dirty talking and soon enough he was over at my place and we got right to it. I was on all fours in the couch and he fucked me from behind, busted his nut and left. The picture was better than the real deal but he was good looking enough to take on. Wasn't the best fuck ever because my grandma was sleeping and I was worried she'd get up in the middle of the night and make things awkward. It was alright though.

Here in Brazil I'd say it's 50/50. There are guys who know about it and take it, and some guys who have no idea about it. PEP has been around for longer and is more commonly known as a "morning after" treatment if you bareback and feel suspicious about the partner. PrEP isn't as known, but it's getting better as people are spreading the good news. I'm going to start taking them in the near future probably. It's all free anyway... which I'm really thankful for, reading the stuff from American users.