leatherpunk16

Not really. For a porn star, I am generally not a sexual person. I can DO it, but my interest comes in waves. BZ doesn't excite like it did in the beginning. It's not better or worse, just *different*. But I will say that my mind has been opened to a few things I didn't expect, and I'm happier with those discoveries.

Am I hornier? No. Am I getting laid more? Not really. 

On 10/9/2020 at 3:21 AM, seasqrd said:

I know exactly what you mean. I've been working from home during the pandemic and I usually have a cigar in my jaw while I work. My cigar intake has doubled.

I can't stop thinking about this.

Fuck it for being an "intake", as if we were eating it. 

8 hours ago, pozboy said:

great! sorry I misunderstood you. what's your daily intake? I found more than 3 ppd hard. can you smoke cigars like cigs, with deep inhales?

One CAN, but it's not recommended. Cigar smoke is thicker, and while it has no additives like cigarettes, it's actually worse for you. When we inhale cigar smoke, it becomes more fetish so you can do those sexy nose jets and maybe other things. 

A fan sent me a number of cigars because, apparently, fuck my lungs. LOL

It's possible! The time frame fits the traditional incubation period. 

When I was hooking, I always used condoms. None of my clients objected, and I would tell them that it's for their piece of mind as well as mine.

Haven't used them but once since then, and that was six years ago. Never will again

I have to include a joke with this. In high school, a classmate threw a condom at me and said "Here, Scott, you'll never use it!" If only he knew... Lol

I've been pounding cigars lately. It's gone from fetish to addiction. Fuck, what has 2020 done to me??? 

This past summer, I started saving my wasted loads in a large medical syringe, and placed it in the freezer. It's hard to effectively collect it all in there, but I can get about 0.3mg on each wank. When it's full, I can breed myself.

Had to throw one of them out. When my PA got infected, I made the mistake of putting some of that infected cum in there. Rather than give it to myself again, I just tossed it out. Wasteful, but smart. 

The first time I had gono, I was told that my case had to be reported to the CDC. I despaired a bit over that. This was nearly ten years ago. Had it a few more times since then, but it doesn't seem like anything is going to happen about it. 

We also miss bugRyan. Haven't talked with him since July.

I might have said it before in this topic. I don't remember, and I'm too lazy to go through ten pages to see, so I'll say it again.

My ex is a little-dicked bottom. He tries so hard to top, but he's really not good at it, and his pecker can't reach that sweet spot that I needed him to reach. If I put him in chastity, there'd be nothing left of his dick. I'd have to buy him a cock extender from one of the toy stores to get any satisfaction out of his tiny poz dick.

I check the plumbing at least once a week, make sure it's still working. Since coming off my steroid cycle, sex drive is returning to zero. That stuff made me hornier than I have been in years, and what made it worse was putting a ring in my dick a month into the cycle. Then I couldn't play with it for at least a month, and I was horny as fuck. Beating off is a different experience with this ring, but I have to take care to clean after every time. I can't just leave a little mess and say "It will wash off in the bath tomorrow" anymore. 

Wow, I really got sidetracked there. LOL

If I jerk too often, my dick begins to rub raw and stays red and sore. Can't cum as much as I would like.

I have another sad story to add to this.

Since I started injecting steroids, I had been wearing a nice red jock over and over, soaking it with enhanced sweat and odors. It was really quite an aphrodisiac! I loved that jock. Managed to have it for about seven weeks or so.

I came home one day, took my sweaty clothes out of the bag, and must have grabbed the jock with the shorts that smelled like ass (and not in the good way), and tossed it all in the laundry. I was horrified to find the jock when I was emptying the dryer!!

I cried.

56 minutes ago, Justaholeff said:

Men are such visual creatures when it comes to sex ...it's the way we are wired and I'm not ashamed of our sexual natures. However, in this day and age of instant access to social media, porn, etc....I think some men have gotten so over stimulated and that their view of real men has gotten unrealistic that they will cruise or visit a bathhouse and never get laid because that perfect man in their brain is real. Once I realized this for myself and regulated my standards to reality...Ive had some of the best fucks!

This is why I don't enjoy going to a bathhouse. I don't think I'm looking for perfection, but I certainly don't find anything that's even close. When I do, they don't want to play. And what I attract are guys I would NEVER consider doing sex with. There's no chemistry that I just need to "give in to"; he doesn't excite me in any way, and I end up leaving having wasted $25 and four hours of my life doing laps.

I used to have such a guy in my life. He was a total pig, huge dick, and got me all smoked up and drunk as part of the fun. He would call, I would be coy and say no thank you, and then two hours later, I'd be in his kitchen with his monster dick down my throat. It was wonderful. 

But he died. Pancreatic cancer. I no longer have such a guy, and I think he was the last one. That was eight years ago.

He is attractive. Too bad he's a homophobe.

I've always absorbed the few loads I have received. There is one exception - one hung dude pumped so much extra air into me that I really had to hold a huge fart on the long drive home, and when I let it out, the cat ran scared. And my underwear was quite soaked from the expulsion.

One of my fuckbuddies is a fisting pig, and he has developed this knot at the entrance to his hole. Takes up valuable real estate, in a manner of speaking. It bleeds on occasion when he does this activity. He wants to get it removed. Might be a hemorrhoid, or something else, I forget what.

I think you and I are the same. I fuck because I love sex with men. Other things that may accompany it are just second place or farther down the list.

24 minutes ago, pigbro said:

makes me think of this image

I would love to own such a suit. If, for no other reason, than to freak people out.

I've been shooting testosterone for the past nine weeks, and let me tell you I feel incredible. I'm horny all the time, my muscles look fantastic, my ankle and hip do not hurt anymore, and my confidence is through the roof. I've also got the first signs of steroid abuse - shoulder acne. I wear it like a badge of honour. I earned that shit.

This is incredible, and at the same time horrifying. Imagine if that were a real thing! You get pounced by one of these monsters, and instantly swoon into their arms no matter your sexuality, and then they breed and you almost instantly transform inside and out. Horrific. 

But I doubt there's a reader among us who doesn't wish they could submit to such a thing. I can't say it enough. This is superb.

Sometimes I'll be in the gym shower and catch a handful of my own piss, and taste it. All those hormones from the steroids need to stay in my body, lol. But usually I can't do more than that little cupped hand. Too much garlic in the diet, and I taste it heavily in the piss. But it's good to check once in a while.

Ever eaten a dish at a restaurant that had way too much garlic? It's like that.

In my mid-30s, I used to see this guy who would occasionally turn up on my cam page. He lived locally and supported my early porn efforts, and we screwed occasionally. I remember one time I was in his neighbourhood, and after a quick text, I was driving to his house. I got there, we promptly went downstairs, and he got on his knees facing away from me. Bent over, and I put my dick in his hole. He had only a few minutes while his man was out, and we worried we could be caught, so this had to be fast. I forced myself to pump a load in him after only a couple minutes, and when it was over, I was back outside and rushing to my car. We hardly said more than a few words to each other. 

Not a great fuck, but a hole is a hole sometimes.

I notice that no one has so far mentioned the other possibility, the other outcome of telling a partner about hidden desires. He may be totally okay with it, and actually have those interests as well that he is keeping from YOU. It sounds like an unlikely possibility, but not impossible. Wouldn't that fix everything? 

There's also the other extreme: "Let me do ______ so I can be happy, or we're done." That's not designed to have a positive outcome, no matter what goes in the blank. Don't put him in that position, and likewise, do not let him put you in this position. 

From what you've told us, I don't think it will go that far, either, because you immediately expressed concern for your partner. Do let us know what happens, or if you need support in whatever you decide.

You're in the right place! 

It can be hard to make that statement. I certainly struggled with it until I admitted I was a bugchaser. These feelings are normal. You are not a fraud or imposter. This is just who you are, or who you wish to become. And if you stick around, we will be here to support your journey, whatever that might be. 

PS - poz men do indeed like men like yourself: negative and unprotected. And if you want the bug, pursue it long enough, and it should happen. Just be aware of the consequences of your choice.