ohbtmsub

It had been a while since I last played so when I woke up feeling horny I did some internal cleansing in the hope that I would get lucky and got on Grindr. It wasn't long before I saw someone that I didn't recognize and browsing through his profile I found an interest. While there wasn't a lot listed, his picture and stats were attractive as well as his tags, which included bondage, kink, roleplay, rough and more notably poz. His status was also listed as poz, undetectable which I found appealing, because while I had often fantasized about poz play, I really didn't want to become poz. I struck up a conversation and found that he was from New York and had recently bought a home here and was in the process of moving. Most of his furniture and items had been delivered several weeks earlier but his final move was then delayed and he had just arrived the night before with the last of his things. With the weather supposed to get nasty in the afternoon, he said that he would like to chat more but needed to get unloaded before it got messy. I made a comment that I would be glad to help if he wanted any and he said he appreciated the offer but didn't want to impose. I told him I would enjoy doing so and it wouldn't impose at all and to my surprise he said that he'd appreciate the help and I soon found myself on my way there. I'm not really sure what I was expecting, particularly since our chat was relatively short and I knew so little about him, but our conversation had seemed warm and even though we didn't get into a lot of detail, I felt a certain degree of attraction toward him. We weren't a far distance from each other and during the short drive I realized that I started out the day looking for someone to hook up with, but instead I was on my way to help someone move. The thought then crossed my mind of the possibility that it could end up being a mix of both but other than cleansing myself earlier, I didn't do anything else such as bring along lube, condoms or such. It was then that I saw him outside with a box in his hands and as he looked up I realized it was too late to think any more so I pulled in and parked. After a quick introduction I found myself busy helping with the unloading and working together we quickly had everything in the house. The previously moved items had been placed somewhat haphazardly with the furniture and moving boxes in various rooms and everything was in a bit of disarray so after moving his remaining items inside, we got busy getting the house together by arranging the furniture and putting the boxes in the rooms they belonged. Once we had things looking good, he offered me something to drink and we had a seat on the couch to take a break. We chatted for a while about mostly vanilla topics and things felt comfortable together with a friendly energy. I commented that the house looked really nice and he said it was a relief to finally be in and that he spent the last few weeks sleeping on a futon in his old place and got in last night and slept last night on the couch and that it would be really nice to be back in a much more cozy bed. I told him that I could sympathize with that and to fix the issue we were soon assembling his bed and setting up his bedroom. We chatted while I helped set things up, mostly about his work and why he moved here and a few other things. I told him more about the area. It had now been a while since we started working and most everything was in its place when we took a step back and looked around. The only thing I could say was "wow". With the king size bed centered against one of the walls with mirrors on the head end and plenty of space on both sides with several mirrors on the walls, tasteful furniture placed around, the large screen tv on the wall at the bottom end of the bed and the room now tastefully decorated, it looked amazing, even more-so when he topped it off by lighting a few candles for the final effect. I told him that I really liked the layout and style and he said to kick off my shoes and kick back so we can enjoy it for a bit and went to grab us a couple drinks. It felt a bit strange laying in his bed but at the same time it felt a combination of comforting as well as a bit erotic. As he came back in the room he closed the door which in combination with the light darkening curtains left the room illuminated solely by the flickering candles, handed me my drink, laid back beside me and told me how much he appreciated my help with everything, raising his glass as a toast to our new friendship. The first sip of my drink told me that it contained some liquor and was not just a simple Coca-Cola and though it was a bit strong, it felt good too, particularly after our work. We finished our drinks somewhat swiftly and he went to grab a couple more, this time returning with larger and notably stronger drinks. In combination with the drinks, our conversation began to loosen up which in turn seemed to loosen us up on a more personal level with several special looks and a few playful touches. With the energies seeming to rise simultaneously he asked if I'd like to watch something and I gladly said "sure, your choice". He picked up the remote and moments later the big screen came to life with an eye-catching video with quite erotic, raw and explicit play between guys of which I became immediately absorbed. "Pretty hot, isn't it?" he asked almost rhetorically, "it's one of my favorites", to which I replied "it's perfect", as I settled back into the pillows beneath my head and engrossed in the scene that was playing. He laid back beside me and said somewhat bluntly "I haven't had sex like that in months". I didn't know how to reply without sounding patronizing but I just replied honestly that it had been even longer for me and with that, he gave a solid look into my eyes, leaned forward and gave me a solid kiss deep into my lips. I was caught somewhat by surprise by his act but I allowed it to happen and joined right in. Kissing hadn't been huge in my list of turn-on's but for some reason this felt different and while much of my previous experience was centered more on my partner and I simply getting off, this felt much more connected, intimate and sincere and I began to return his kiss in a very loving manner. Pulling back from our kiss, he said "thank you, I really needed this", to which I replied "I did too, so much", and I gave him another kiss before we returned to watch the screen, my palm resting on his thigh. I am not sure whether it was by design or just fate in the two of us being together but the moment really felt right and I let my palm slowly slide over and come to rest on his clearly bulging cock. In combination with the scene playing on the screen, I needed something more to happen and with that I leaned over, began opening his pants and brought his cock into play, first touching and fondling, then taking him into my mouth with the hope that I wasn't being too forward. After a while he said "you better be careful baby or you're going to make me shoot", to which I replied, "I might like that, can you cum more than once?", before returning my lips to his cock though at a much more tender and measured pace while looking up into his eyes, not wanting to bring it to a premature end. "Actually I can baby. I can usually go a long time before cumming but it's been quite a while since I've had any play and I'm right on the edge. When the play is hot though, I can cum, stay hard and cum more, particularly depending on the scene and atmosphere." he replied. "I'd love to experience that and more" I said, to which his reply was "take off your clothes", as he began removing his. We resumed our groping and oral play and things began to get more heated with the increasing sexual energy between us, helped in part by the intensity of what was playing on the screen. I had my eyes closed when felt him turn to the side then come back and it was then that I could smell the distinct scent of poppers and looked up to see the bottle alongside his nose. Noticing my glance, he offered the brottle which I accepted and inhaled several times before returning it to him. The poppers combined with the atmosphere and quite possibly whatever had been in my drink had me feeling a high degree of euphoria, causing me to lean down to take his engorged cock even deeper into my throat, multiple times in and out before rising up, leaving his hard wet erection dripping in my spit, then as if on auto-pilot and looking deep into his eyes, I moved over top of him with a leg on each side of his body and moved downward until I came to rest with his hard cock resting between my warm cheeks. The sounds from the video were filling the room and I was able to see the scene playing on the screen thru the reflection in the mirror and with the addition of his hot body touching mine, I was horny beyond belief. My arousal was very much reaching a peak and the comfort I felt along with his undetectable status made me want him to fuck me and I was wanting it to happen bare. My body began to gyrate on top of him and as I did, I felt his hard and electrified cock became centered the quite wanton hole of my ass and when it did I almost instinctively squatted down, looking deep into his eyes and wanting to absorb the moment completely and to see his reaction too. His reaction wasn't what I expected and his hands quickly came to grasp each side of my hips and telling me "stop, not yet" but before the words were completely out of his mouth, I had already sank down and his cock was now impaled in my ass. Having a cock inside my hole was something that I had been needing for a long time, but maybe something I wasn't completely ready for because with the size of his cock, the tightness of my ass, and with only spit for lube, I also found it a good bit painful. I could tell that he had continued talking while this was happening but with my focus on the burning in my ass and the loudness of the video that was playing, I wasn't sure what it was. While I paused to let my body adjust to what was inside me and not knowing what he had just said, I began to wonder and instinctively sought a reassurance that everything was okay and asked. "Are you undetectable?" "I was", he answered, "but I can't say for sure right now. Are you on PrEP?" My eyes opened in a somewhat blank stare toward the mirror in front of me as I tried to contemplate what the words he just said and with the realization that his raw cock was buried inside me, I answered a simple "no" and remained almost frozen. "I've been on meds and undetectable but with the move things have been messed up and I've been separated from my prescription so I haven't been on them for a while so I can't say for sure whether I am or not and I could be either." He said. "As soon as I'm back together with my meds, I will be taking them again, but right now I can't really say that I'm undetectable". I suddenly wasn't sure about anything right then and was a bit scared but we started to talk further in a sincere and realistic manner With his hands on my waist, mine on his chest and his cock still fully inside my ass, we were locked together both physically and in concerted conversation and thought. Neither one of us wanted things to stop but he had been off his meds long enough that his status could easily be either way, and while it wouldn't have an effect on him, I genuinely didn't want to become poz. Neither of us had any condoms and leaving the house to get some would have destroyed the mood, but at the same time, the atmosphere was so totally hot that it was difficult to see it actually end. I think he could tell that I really didn't want to stop, particularly since I hadn't pulled away from his cock, but at the same time I was quite worried which he could likely tell, particularly since I told him that I was negative and not on PrEP or anything. He then said that he had pretty good cum-control and could fuck a lot and other play without shooting his load, and that his pre-cum lately has been quite limited so we might be able to play for a while and then stop, but that it was up to me. He also said that if I was concerned that I could always take some PEP afterward which can keep me safe. He likely sensed that his words were touching somewhere inside me because I gave a soft moan and my body relaxed on top of his with my eyes softly coming to a close. I then opened up to him that I have often had fantasies about having sex with somone that was poz and that it often brings me the most intense orgasms, but... I stopped speaking at 'but' and my hands began tenderly but nervously moving upon his chest, my mind filled with a feeling of freedom in opening up about the fantasy, and a mixed level of excitement and arousal that I was with someone that was possibly poz. A chill in the reality of what was already happening and admittedly a fear about what might come came into focus, which I think he noticed.. "Go on" he encouraged, his hands now moving in a comforting manner on all sides of my body. In a way I felt accepted and that I was with someone that didn't hold any judgement and that I could be safe to confide in. After a small hesitation I continued on, telling him more of my poz fantasizes which led into where my many other fantasies had gone, going into greater and more graphic detail about different scenes such as consensual non-consensual play and how hot it feels to have someone take control and how I would love being violated sexually and otherwise, being forced, and in the process I also told him that I've had fantasies of going all the way, with someone that was poz, but that I was afraid too. At this point his left hand rose and came to rest on my lips with his right palm stopped moving over my now hard beating heart. "I have to tell you that listening to you is making me hot baby, intensely hot" he said as he gave a couple probing moves of his loins into mine to emphasize the point, then continued "It really makes you really hot, doesn't it?" to which I closed my eyes and gave an affirming nod of my head. "We don't have to do anything that you don't want to do" he continue "and I will respect your limits & boundaries, but I would love and be honored to take you to the places you want to go and that includes all of your fantasies - and have no doubt that I am fully capable of making it happen. I've had many fantasies too, many similar to yours and I would love to go there together. We can stop if you want to, or we can fuck if you want and I can fuck and pull out before I cum - if you want me to" he said. I leaned forward & down until we came to rest chest to chest as I contemplated his words and in the arms of his warm embrace, his cock slid partially out of my ass. I gave a small gasp as the dryness of his cock caused some discomfort which he noticed and quickly countered with a turn of his head and another kiss on my lips. It must have been the distraction of the kiss that cause me to miss the move but somehow he now had a handful of Vaseline and was working it around his cock and into my ass. I moaned into our kiss and my ass to begin moving slowly somewhat hesitantly back and forth almost automatically on his cock and in the process his fingers began working more and more Vaseline into our play. Noticing that I wasn't making a move to stop anything, he pulled back a bit and continued some conversation "Does rough play really make you hot?" I answered "yes". "It makes me really hot too." he continued, then as if to keep my attention more "Do you want it to happen, I mean to really happen?" The way he said the words was almost scary but at the same time the thought was admittedly hot too. Again I answered "yes". "Now?" he asked. I hesitated while looking at him, knowing what he was asking and that he was serious but at the same time not really knowing, particularly how far he might actually go - a mixture of fear and arousal now throughout my body. Seeing that I was on the fence, he took my nipple between his finger and thumb and started to squeeze, softly at first, then progressively harder while watching my expression as I began to melt into his advances. Pain has always had an effect on me and in many ways it has been very much like an aphrodisiac when it happens in play. The pain in my nipple was now reaching a point that my focus was nowhere else but completely with him. Since I only grimaced and didn't make an effort to get away, I think he knew that he had me where he wanted me and with a final and firm squeeze, he once again asked me... "Now", this time sounding more like he was giving a statement and not a question and I immediately and quite loudly responded... "Yes, YES!" In a very quick move, I was tossed to the bed at his side with my face buried in a pillow and my ass bare and facing up. A moment later he was on top of me and without saying a word, he buried his cock fully inside my ass. Our play had allowed my ass to stretch some and the Vaseline made everything quite slippery, but it only moderately eased his sudden entry and my ass was alight with some fire. I gasp and audibly gave a muffled yelp into the pillow below and sensing that it may be too much, he stopped with his cock impaled inside my ass and asked if I wanted to stop. I didn't give an immediate answer, mostly because I was in a bit of a shock at everything that was happening and admittedly being in a somewhat confused state about everything, quite possibly enhanced from whatever was in the drink. Not letting the moment come to a complete stop, he continued the lead with his cock pulling back and then moving forward, slowly at first, then a bit faster, time and time again, becoming more forceful and continually stronger with each plunge. The physical sensation was overwhelming with the atmosphere of being where I had truly been wanting to go and only fantasized about before, and yet hurtful enough that the pain in my ass was becoming very real. As I struggled with my mix of feelings, the tight grasp of his arms enveloping my torso, likely growing stronger due to the endorphins that were permeating throughout his body, made me aware that in the strength aspect, he had the definite advantage and I almost felt weak beneath him.. My body gradually began to move beneath him more and more, though due to a combination of trying to find relief from the growing pain inside my ass, and in the wonder if I would even be able to actually become free if I wanted to. I guess that I realized that I could probably say something if I wanted to, but the sensations that I was feeling had me twisted in so many different directions, wanting it to happen but finding it so very difficult too, physically and emotionally - I was in another dimension. My mind began coming back to focus though and the realization that the cock inside me was in no way assuredly safe came directly to the forefront, along with the fear and reality of what was going on. As I began to rise to say something though, I felt his body sink firmly onto mine, his cock fully impaled and then as his body gave spasm after deep spasm I realized that his semen was pumping into my body from his, him holding me tighter and moaning and gasping into my ear with each plunge he gave - it was happening. I don't know if the tear from my eye was from the intense fear that I was feeling, or if it was from the elation of actually experiencing something that I had fantasized of for so long but it was quickly joined by another tear and many more. Sensing something was happening, he began holding me warmly, sharing comforting words and making me feel very much loved - which was in turn causing me to feel a level of love too. It was then that I noticed the clock and how quickly time had passed. My family would soon be home and I needed to be back there before they arrived because there was no way I could have an excuse for not being home. I really didn't want to leave so quickly but he very much understood and as I parted, we were both sure that we wanted to be together again, and that we would be. The afternoon sun was bright in my eyes during the drive home but the feeling of the moistness within my loins of his cum remaining within me was the focus of my attention. I then started making it a point that I needed to get somewhere in the morning to begin the PEP after-fuck treatment to keep from becoming poz, when another brightness came before my eyes. It was Thursday and my family was going to be home for the extended weekend, not giving me the option of being able to get out without them knowing something was up. As I pulled in the driveway I didn't know what I was going to do, then looking at the time it had become, I began to realize what I was going to do - nothing. The risk of what may have just happened was high but knowing what would happen at home if my family would find out what I had just done was certain and it placed me in an impossible position. PEP wasn't going to be an option and whatever was going to come was going to be a matter of fate and I didn't know what it was going to be. I was afraid. Deep inside though I was also aroused, deeply aroused.

Virginity Lost Given that I received a mostly favorable reaction to my first posting, I thought I might post again only this time starting at my beginning. Since a younger age I had a curiosity in regard to being with a male, but other than some superficial touching, I had never really done anything in depth and most of my activity had been confined to females, though I wasn't overly active there either. After graduating high school, I decided to join the military where after my basic training and rate-specific training, I ended up at my first unit in New Jersey and not too far from New York City. With not a lot to do during my off duty time, I would often find myself cruising around in my car, mostly just looking though my attention was occasionally drawn to a girl about my age that I had seen several times in a local hang-out spot. Given my shyness though, I never made a move to initiate contact. Over time, it was common to come across other folk doing the same and during my drives I would begin to recognize some of the regulars. As this occurred over a somewhat regular basis, there was a particular larger dark car that began to catch my attention. It was driven by a male that was somewhat older than myself and I noticed he would often look somewhat intently in my direction when passing by. At first I didn't pay a lot of attention but after this went on for multiple different nights, I found myself glancing back and sometimes making momentary eye contact. This was in the days when CB radios were popular and a vehicle antenna often made it evident who had one in their car. I always had mine on and with most people hanging out on Channel 19, it was often easy to contact others there. One night while cruising, the dark car and I passed each other a couple times and after the third pass, he gave a call on the radio. I didn't answer though, not because I was completely uninterested, but more out of my overall shyness - though as far as he would know, my radio might not have even been on. This went on over the course of a few weeks and also included occasions where he would spend some of his time following behind me as I drove around, nothing overly bold but I would see him there for a while. He began to capture my interest and curiosity, particularly with nothing ever happening with my primarily heterosexual interests. It was about midnight after one of my typical Friday night 'strike out' cruising sessions when I saw the dark car and driver coming down the street. We were going opposite directions and as we passed, he gave a look in my direction and I gave a look back. I had a particularly high degree of unfulfilled horniness built up and with a mindset of maybe just letting fate play its role, I decided that if he would happen to call me that night that I might just answer him. Several minutes later our paths crossed again where we exchanged solid eye contact and when I heard his voice come across the radio, I answered. We talked a couple seconds and took our conversation to a less popular channel where we chatted for a few minutes. By this time I noticed that he was now behind me and with the lack of privacy on an open radio, he suggested that we stop somewhere. I pulled into a nearby empty lot and he pulled alongside where each of our windows went down. While I had seen him several times, I never had the opportunity to really see him good and my first impression was quite favorable. He was maybe in his 40's, a nice solid build and was dressed in casual clothes. We chatted for a couple minutes and just had just barely broken the ice when he said that the police in town don't really like people hanging around in lots at night and suggested we head somewhere safer out of town. It sounded reasonable and as he pulled out, I followed with a variety of thoughts starting to scurry through my mind. I had never done anything like this before (though honestly I didn't know exactly what 'this' would actually be) but with the hormones my younger years active and my curiosity toward the male gender, I found myself wanting to find out. We had driven several miles with the road becoming progressively more unrefined before he took a right turn on a hard, rough sandy lane to a very secluded and dark spot overlooking the water and with a good view of the roads in all directions. I pulled alongside and he suggested that I get in his car which I did. I don't remember what type of car he had, but know that it was much larger than most cars on the road today with a split bench seat with a folded down console divider seat in the middle and from what I could from see during the short time the dome light was on, a very spacious and open back seat. He might have had an idea before we met but I am sure it was quite evident after just a few minutes of our conversation that I was totally inexperienced, and he seemed to focus his best on making me feel comfortable through his words. I felt relatively safe overall and in his car we were separated by a good amount of distance with the folded-down console seat between us acting like a kind of protective barrier. As our talk became more sexual, I noticed that he had released the front of his pants and that he had taken his cock out but in the darkness it was difficult to really see much at all. The atmosphere was admittedly making me feel aroused though and I slowly let my hand move to the center of the console where it stopped and came to rest. Knowing that I could see him exposed and sensing my shyness, his fingertips reached out to softly graze the top of my hand and he asked if I would like to touch it. I didn't reply verbally but as my hand slowly moved and took it's place on his warm bare flesh, he knew the answer. The electricity was shooting through me and evidently he could feel the charge too because it didn't take long for his cock begin growing into a fairly nice erection within the grasp of my palm. His reassuring words soon had me gently massaging his cock while slowly working his foreskin back and forth over the head, feeling both warm and firm to the touch. With his outstretched arm, he reached over and began massaging my shoulder in tune with my movement. Several minutes later, the lead seemed to switch as as his massaging hand on my shoulder began getting stronger, I felt myself fondling his cock in a more pronounced way and in tune with the increased movement of his of his hand that was on me. "Would you like to suck it?" he said while looking directly in my direction. I looked back toward his eyes and while in the darkness he couldn't really see my expression, he took my lack of verbal response as a 'yes' and with his free hand, raised the console to make a wide open bench seat, then with the hand on my neck began pulling me downward toward his crotch. I couldn't really see anything to begin with so closing my eyes was more an act of a melting into the moment than an act of not looking and I soon noticed what with my sense of sight fully gone, my other senses became more enhanced, particularly in regard to the scent that I was now inhaling. I am not sure if he had not taken a bath for a while or if it was from his increased arousal, but either way, his man-scent was quite intense and ventured deeply inside my lungs as I began breathing more deeply to take him all in. Then as if unable to fully get my full breath, my lips parted to bring in more air and in the process his hand pulled me further down where the head of his cock entered my open lips. I didn't resist and instead went down on him first shyly and then more wantonly with his almost rancid taste awakening a primal feeling inside my body. His audible gasp told me that he was enjoying it too and when my instinct to blow him began to develop further, he rose and moved his pants down to his knees, giving me much more length to work with. As the fellatio continued, the hand on my head moved downward and onto my covered crotch where he began to touch and to squeeze, increasing my arousal even more particularly each time his grasp would grip relatively strongly. He then fumbled with the fastening at the top of my jeans and released it, pulled my zipper part of the way down, but in somewhat of a surprise he didn't go for my cock, but instead reached around behind me and dipped his hand deep into my pants. I let out an audible gasp but with his cock well inside my mouth, the sound that came forth sounded more like a wanton moan instead of a signal of being shocked, and thinking that I liked it, his finger dived deep inside my ass. I rose up and let out a loud squeal as pain erupted inside my asshole from his dry finger and sharp edged fingernail and I wanted to get away. "Wait baby" he said as his free hand came over to keep me bent down, "Let your ass take it, it will feel good, I promise." I didn't move but I didn't say anything either and I simply just stayed there in an almost suspended state. The actual pain of the intrusion didn't last real long but the soreness was still there and sensing that, he didn't go any deeper - but he didn't take his finger out either, letting it remain inside my body. As I adjusted to my anal intruder, his scented crotch reached out to me even more and I leaned down to continue my slow sucking of his bare manhood. This time it was different though and I was met with the surprise taste of pre-cum that was coming from his tip and it began flowing across my tongue and into my mouth. I melted into him a little bit and sensing my relaxing, his finger began moving inside my ass, not with in and out action, but at the same depth and in a more wobbling motion so as to not further abrade my partially torn hole. My soft moaning might have been a signal that I could be ready for more and he asked if he could put some lubricant in my ass and it would feel much better. I didn't give an answer because my mind was filling with a multitude of thoughts of what was happening to the point that I was starting to overload. I wasn't sure what I was getting into, or what I really wanted to get into, I just didn't know, but after a few more minutes of the finger massage inside my anus and with his cock still inside my mouth, I let out a muffled and apprehensive "ok" to give in to his request. With that, he gently pulled his finger from my ass, causing me to wince in the process, then opened his door and said "lets get in the back where we have more room." My hand slowly went to the handle on the door and as I pulled it, my mind went to thoughts of just going to my car and leaving because I was getting scared. As I stood up beneath the open skies and with the distinct smell of seaside air, I felt drawn back to the more primal setting of the car and before giving it a serious second thought, I found myself in the back seat and beside him. The reality of the situation hit starkly as he maneuvered around and started ridding himself of his pants, telling me to do the same. 'Oh Gawd', I thought as my fingers pulled my zipper the rest of the way down, 'What am I doing?' It immediately became clear what I was doing because moments later my pants and briefs were completely gone and we were both exposed with our sexual areas bare in the back seat of his car... The question now was: What was going to come next? Reaching forward, he folded the console seat back down to the lowered position and told me to lean over it, directing me where he wanted me to go. There was now a lot of space between the backside of the seat and the ceiling of the car which made it easy for me to assume my spot. In retrospect, the seat feature was likely the reason he had the car to begin with and it created a lot of room for a lot of possibilities including what would come next. The next thing I knew, he was rose up and his chest was immediately leaning over and atop my back. I quickly grew afraid but didn't know what to do because I hadn't gone out that night to be with a guy, let alone be fucked by one and there were so many conflicted emotions going through me. He reached forward to open the glove compartment, he said he needed to get the lube out, so I guess that his leaning over me was kind of necessary. He wasn't in any hurry though and he lingered on top of my back where I could feel his rock solid cock wedged between my bare cheeks. With my eyes going closed in disbelief and with my breathing quite pronounced, I felt the intense quandary of a growing sexual stimulation and genuine fear of the unknown. I think he sensed my trepidation and with my lack of doing anything to stop him, he quickly took the lead. "It feels good, doesn't it sweetheart" he spoke, with his left palm caressing my face and with his right lube-holding hand coming to rest on top of my right hand to keep me in place. I didn't say anything but instead slowly twisted my head to the left where he let his hand wander fully across my face, pulling my lower lip down and placing several fingers inside to take control of my mouth, causing me to moan wetly with saliva dripping from inside. With his fingers lodged in my mouth, his body pulled back and he flipped the top of the lube tube free and gave a firm squeeze causing a cold and wet sensation atop my exposed nether region. With an audible snap, the lube container then closed and dropped away and his fingers began working the slippery gel between my bare cheeks. I didn't know what to say or what to do and the atmosphere was just so conflicting. At the same time and in the moment though, I don't think I could say or do anything, I was simply in awe and in many ways I was like a deer in a car's headlights, unable to move and waiting for his finger to go back inside my ass. My mind started racing in a million directions with my heart and breathing at depths never before reached when instead of the finger that I was expecting, it was his cock moving in and before I had time to react, his head had breached the ring around my ass and his cock was halfway inside. I gave a startled "No" and tried to move away but in the confines of the cradling seats and with his body on top of me, there was nowhere for me to go. It hurt even more than his earlier finger stab inside my rectum and the sudden act brought no pleasure at all. I tried to say something more, but the words were not able to come because the fingers inside my mouth were effectively gagging me to where I couldn't say a thing at all. I did however manage to expel a muffled but sharp cry of pain though as he shoved forward a second determined time and his raw cock breached even further inside leaving my unprotected ass filled with his cock fully inside. I don't think I could have gotten up if I wanted to and with my slight and young stature and his prominently more muscular body, distinct weight advantage and his will to make it happen, I was essentially bound helpless beneath him - I was his for the taking. At this point though, he didn't force things any further and simply rested there, allowing my body the chance to stretch and adapt for what was inevitably yet to come. 'What was yet to come' was the scary part and to step back to the time when this was happening, New York was a hotbed for AIDS and the city was just a few short miles away (in fact the sky was illuminated with the city lights just to our north). Additionally there were no treatments to effectively help mitigate it's effects - you can easily and legitimately classify me as being very afraid. At the same time though there was also a certain allure to where I was, alone with him in his car; to the atmosphere, with our bodies practically bare; to what was happening, his cock inside my ass; and to the act that was occurring, having sex with a stranger in the night. I was enthralled. With his cock lodged inside my rectum, he began giving words of encouragement which brought me a certain aspect of ease, telling me how special the moment was and how beautiful the night was to finally be together, and that he had been attracted to me and wanted a moment alone with me for a very long time. I must admit that he was having an effect and his words were not only relaxing my mind, but they were also relaxing my body. It is not an embellishment to say that his cock had grown quite large and there was a definite pain in my ass, not only from the initial probe from his sharp & rough fingernail, but it was now being exasperated many-fold more with my tight little ass stretched many times beyond where it had ever been before. Even with the liberal lube that he had used, the physical stretching was more than my body could take and I know that he had torn me in more than one place around his girthy impaled cock. His encouraging words continued as I lay beneath him with my mind entering an almost trance-like state. The feelings of pain were also being dissipated and replaced with the sensation of love and an inner passion, particularly when his cock started to slide out and then back in, slowly moving again, and again, and again... I was being fucked. The fingers inside my mouth pulled my head gently and further to the side where he then removed his digits and his lips pressed against mine. His almost harsh bearded stubble scratching my soft and tender cheek, an interesting contrast to the warmth of the words he was speaking, his kissing and mouthing of words of love and support began to cause me to have a much more receptive body. I also found myself now wanting it to happen and interestingly I think I wanted it happen just as much to please him - someone that was loving me - than for my own personal satisfaction. At the same time, I didn't really know all that much about the actual risks involved - I had only glanced at the occasional AIDS headline, never taking the time to read through the full articles - but I knew enough to be aware that what was happening was potentially dangerously deadly. With a tear appearing and being held in the corner of my eye, I gave a sheepishly meek request and asked: "Can you use a condom?" The tear slid down across my cheek. His cock continued to slowly work inside my body, out the majority of the way and then back in until his bush and balls were firmly nestled against my flesh and his mouth came alongside my ear, "I don't have any, sweetheart", and with that he held me tighter with his actions becoming slightly more pronounced. "Can we do it another time? When we have some? Please?" I asked, his fucking growing noticeably faster and more full. "But we're together now, sweetheart" (admittedly the sweetheart word was beginning to make me melt every time I heard it and I felt like I was 'his' and that I was no longer an independent 'self'). "Your body is telling me that you want it, baby. You don't want me to stop now, do you?" and with that his fucking became even more aggressive. "Please." I almost pleaded. "We can do it tonight, but can we get a condom first?" "Please." This time I was clearly begging. Without saying a word and without even acknowledging what I said, he pinned me downward affirming his position of being in control and continued fucking me - fucking me for a very long time - pounding noisily inside, pounding me hard, pounding me bare, his breathing becoming faster and his sweat making me wet beneath him, my body becoming continually more sore - but I didn't do anything, I didn't try to do anything, I just found myself taking it My ass was getting more wet too and I don't know if it was from his pre-cum or something from inside me, but it felt like my loins were much more wet than from the lube alone. As if to confirm and reinforce the wetness I was feeling, he gave a hard downward plunge, his loins tight against my ass, his cock full and deep inside my hole, his arms wrapping me inescapably tight, my body bound between his chest and the seat, his body shaking almost violently and convulsing and he yells right inside my ear. "Oh fucking God I'm cumming. Oh. Fuck. God. Take it. It's fucking yours." His cock buries inside me. I couldn't do anything, nothing at all. I couldn't stop it, at least not now - it already happened. I began to look around, staring blankly in every direction, not seeing anything, but then also seeing something, the sky glowing above NYC, the things I had read - or rather the things that I should have read. The thought of AIDS was going through my mind - was it now going throughout my body? I truly didn't know about the risk involved, I didn't really know anything at all, just bits and pieces at the very most. I was scared. He stayed inside me and didn't move - I didn't move. We stayed like that for what seemed like a very long time and I don't think he wanted it to end because he never left, then when he started pulling back, it was only to reposition and move forward once again, slowly starting to fuck me once more. I was so conflicted, so confused, so worried, and yet at the same time, in a strange way, I felt so loved. He was no longer fucking me hard and rough like he was before he came inside me, but was fucking me soft and gentle like he really loved me and cared for me. I began to sob softly to myself but not hard enough that I thought he would notice, unless he could see my tears which should have been invisible in the darkness of the night. I didn't know why I was crying and whether it was because of the fear and finality in what had just happened, or if it was for a love that I felt envelop me and thinking that me must be truly loving me, loving being with me. It was then that he held me once again, his warm arms tight and cradling, his loins gyrating into my ass, and his cum definitely squirting inside my ass - again. "I love you" he whispered. "I love you" I said softly back, realizing my sobbing was likely apparent as I spoke. Perhaps not sure about my reaction or the reason for my sob, he was quiet for several minutes before finally asking. "Were you a virgin?" "Yes" I answered. It was my first time with a man and the first time I was ever fucked. He kissed my cheek. As we got dressed, I knew that I had a distant drive to get back and that I would be carrying him for a long time along the way - much too long to have any chance of expelling him and the possible danger that I was carrying inside my body. I thought of asking him before I left if he had AIDS or anything but to be honest, I was afraid to know. I knew that there wasn't any real treatment and that there were people dying from it and I didn't want to leave knowing that it was going to happen to me if he would have said he had it, so I just left. Perhaps it would take more than being fucked once (actually being cummed in twice) to become infected, at least I hoped. I spent the many days ahead paying much more attention to articles and reports about AIDS with the hope of finding some type of assurance that I wouldn't have it - but I never found anything that made me feel safe. I had what I had, if I had anything. I also probably had whatever he had, but only time was going to tell. The only thing I knew was that I didn't have was my virginity. I left it in a car that night. I left it with him when he filled me with his cum. Virginity lost.

To start, it might help to tell a little about me. I am basically a somewhat regular person that most people wouldn't really notice while walking past on the street or in the mall. I lead a standard life with nothing really spectacular on outside appearances but out of sight of most folk I have a distinct affection for many alternative and kink realms, and oftentimes the more outside the norm something is, the more I feel attracted to it. This adventure starts on Grindr where I had been chatting with someone (Mark) for a while but had yet to ever meet. His profile originally caught my attention because of his attractive picture, as well as several of the things in his bio including his interest in kink and other activities. An additional aspect that caught my eye was his status which was listed as poz / undetectable. I was negative and we had chatted somewhat in depth about his status, when and how he contracted it, his treatment and so forth and his openness with everything made me feel quite comfortable. While I have played around some (both protected and unprotected), I have tried to be relatively careful while doing so and I have managed to remain disease free in all ways - through having caution in who I meet with as well in the activities we engage in and the level of protection. Mark and I had talked about getting together with some of our conversations becoming very steamy, but I live with family so my place is only available at certain times and his living situation made his place unavailable for meeting there. Between that and our differing availability (he sometimes travels for work) our getting together never happened. It had been a while since I had seen him online then one morning I logged in to find him there which immediately sent a tinge of arousal through my body. I had woke up particularly horny and hadn't played for quite some time so was thinking of masturbating to start the day but really wanted something much more and I sent him a message saying that I was horny and asked if he'd like to meet. I embellished the message to be intentionally enticing and pointed out that it was safe to meet and play at my place right now if he was available. His reply was every bit as enticing as my invite and he essentially told me I better be careful what I asked for because I just might get 'it' because he hadn't gotten off for a long while and was horny. He then added that he had been out of town for a while with work and it would probably be best if we didn't meet right now which sort of burst my bubble. I was turned on by the first part of his reply, but disappointed with the last part so responded with a picture of my bare ass and replied "Do you want to cum - here?" in an attempt to encourage him. He didn't respond for several minutes then a picture of his bare, glistening wet and fully erect cock popped up on my screen and he replied "My cock says yes, but we would need to talk first." His cock picture sent a bolt of electricity throughout me and I replied: "We can chat here *I gave him my address* and would love to meet you. I am free right now." It was another several minutes before his reply. "I will be there in 20 minutes." I replied "Awesome!" then immediately headed to the bathroom to do a quick pre-play cleansing (inside and out) with my heart beating deep and fast. Clean-up went pretty quickly and I was in my sweats and a t-shirt by the time his car pulled in front of the house. My heart continued its rapid beat and in addition I could feel wetness seeping from my loins as he came toward the house. I met him at the door and could sense that there was passion flowing in both directions as soon as our eyes connected. Once inside, I closed and locked the door and led him to the bedroom where the lighting was dim and I had porn playing on the screen at just the right volume to set an atmosphere. He said it was great to finally meet me which I replied much the same, and since he wasn't making any moves I got on the bed and moved to the other side and he sat down beside me. His pictures hadn't really done true justice and his body was even hotter than I anticipated, particularly with his loose fitting gym shorts and t-shirt doing little to hide his physique. It left little to the imagination but I couldn't keep my hand from reaching over to rest on his upper thigh where it slowly moved toward a covered but quite pronounced bulge. Mark's hand came to rest gently on my forearm and as he looked straight into my eyes he said: "We need to have a little talk." "Can it wait for a little bit?" I asked as my eyes looked back into his and my palm came to rest on top of his thinly covered but very evident erect manhood and balls with my fingers tenderly moving upon him. As his eyes closed, his head leaned back into the pillow and it became clear that the talking could wait. His relaxed and awaiting posture increased my desire and I moved around to face him while on my knees and kneeled there with one hand continuing to explore his loins with my second beginning to caress his upper body. His hand remained in place on my forearm but began to slowly stroke as an encouragement for me to continue. As I continued to touch and softly squeeze, his cock grew ever harder and his body relaxed as if in a further invitation. My hand slid downward on his leg and then up once again, only this time it entered between his flesh and his shorts where I cradled his bare balls and engorged manhood. Talking became the last thing on our minds and when his lips parted, it was not to say words but for his tongue to emerge and wet his two lips. I haven't been big into kissing but in the atmosphere of the moment, I found the urge and leaned forward where our lips locked and our tongues intertwined. He appeared to like the kissing too and within moments the head of his cock was covered with wetness as his pre-cum began flowing forth. We both moaned in unison and continued our kiss but as I removed my now wet and slick hand from inside his shorts and attempted to remove his shorts, he pulled his head slightly back and murmured "We really need to talk first." I somewhat sarcastically said a soft "Yeah?" before my lips again enjoined his while I maintaining a downward pull on his waistband. His body seemed to give in and with his eyes fully closed and his tongue softly swirling, his bottom raised upward and soon he was bare from the waist down. I raised up to see his exposed cock and balls and with the rapidly increasing temperatures between us, I removed my shirt and began removing my pants. He leaned up to shed his shirt too and we were then naked together. In seeing his bare body, I was in full and complete in lust. The feeling was likely mutual because as I leaned down to lick his soaked loins, his palm rested atop my head as a sign of encouragement. The taste was truly alluring and just when I thought I had cleaned up every droplet into my mouth, another would appear and his flow never stopped. My mouth then opened and took him inside, starting at the head and working downward until I began to choke. His arousal seemed to increase as I did so and in addition to the hand on my head, he placed a second on my ass cheeks where it began rubbing and squeezing. As his fingertips probed further, he discovered that I was slippery with lube that I had applied earlier after I had cleansed myself. My lips began moving up and down on his engorged cock and I did my best to take it all the way, but I'd softly gag each time it reached the deeper depths. He didn't seem to mind though and perhaps it was a turn on because I soon found his fingers entering in and out of my ass in tune with the movement of my mouth on his cock. With my hands free and not occupied by his cock, I reached for a bottle of poppers and took several deep hits, with only a momentary pause in my sucking. The feeling of euphoria soon overtook my body and evidently my throat as well because I found myself now taking his entire hard cock fully with only an occasional small gag, and from his reaction, he was enjoying it as much as I was. I rose once again and took a huge hit, held it for a short bit then followed with another. I then replaced the cap and moved to straddle his body with my bare ass coming to rest atop his hot and wet cock and I looked deep into his eyes. He began to mouth the word "no", somewhat softly at first but increasingly stronger as I slowly gyrated on top of him. When his cock nuzzled up to the entrance of my hole and my opening began to part, he reached up to take hold of me and said "We have to talk." I looked at him and stopped, my body hungering to go downward, but I waited to hear as he began talking and said that he had been off of his meds during his work trip because he had forgotten them at home. I was conflicted and admittedly a bit scared too, but at the same time my arousal was through the roof - the feeling of exposure and the vulnerability of a poz and possibly no longer undetectable cock probing inside my body had my heartbeat and breathing going spastic. With the length of time he was off of his meds, neither one of us really thought it would be safe to go on, and things had come together and happened in a way that there wasn't an opportunity to research it before we got to this point. In honesty, didn't want to become infected and he didn't want to infect me, but at the same time our arousal had taken us to this all-time high point for both of us. As we were talking about it, I became aware that I was now sitting fully impaled on his rock hard cock - and I could now feel both the soreness of my fully stretched ass and the stress his knob was creating as it was pushing the lining of my inner rectum further within my body. He realized how deeply he was inside too and shyly said that it felt like his cock was leaking and that things were becoming wet inside - but at the same time, was admittedly feeling so very gawd awful hot. As I remained motionless and uncertain, Mark reached down and came back with the bottle of poppers that had worked its way beneath his bottom and was now quite hot from it's confined position against his hot flesh. Almost by instinct, I reached forward, took the bottle in my hands, exhaled completely, removed the top and took multiple inhalations of the warmed and deeply potent scent. Upon completion, Mark took the bottle from my hand and took a strong hit before closing the bottle, his palms coming to rest on my hips where he took a somewhat assuring grip - looking into my eyes with a renewed sense of arousal. I began to raise up, causing his cock to slide alongside my stretched and open hole which gave a wonderful feeling. My lifting also removed some of the pressure on my painfully stretched inner membrane, but interestingly the feeling of being deeply impaled on his cock felt far better than the sense of not being there - particularly after the last dose of poppers I just had. While I think I was intending to get up and to stop - because we could always wait and play another day when we knew it was safer - but my body, the moment, the poppers, and the amazing feeling of his cock being inside my ass caused me to sink back down and to become fully impaled again. "What are you thinking?" Mark said as he looked into my eyes, his palms holding me tight but not forcing me either way. I looked deeply back while moving slowly back and forth on his potentially potent cum pole, pondering for a few moments, then without a further thought, I raised upward, his cock pulling free and watching it wetly slap against his stomach. I then took a position with my bare body beside his, my exposed ass raised slightly in the air and clearly said: "Fuck me, gawd, fuck me hard." As his body rose, I planted my face deep into the bed and it was probably a good thing that I did because when his cock plunged roughly inside me, I gave out a strong audible gasp and the fucking began. I am not sure if the tears that began to flow were from the pain that his hard fucking was giving me, or from the magic (or the fear) of what was happening, but at this point I was beyond any reasonable thinking - things were just happening and I didn't want to make it stop. I really didn't know if things were going to be okay but at this point I really didn't care, I just wanted it to happen - no matter what 'it' was. Mark was fucking me ever more intensely and I took each and every stroke, including the variety of slaps and punches that he began giving me while asking if this is what I wanted (he knew well of my masochistic interests), only to have my body twist and writhe to his motions, not trying to escape but to try to remain in place as it all happened. This went on for quite some time. My body can only take so much though and it reached the point I couldn't take anything more, but before I could say a word, he plunged deep inside and further than any stroke before, his teeth making a hard bite into my shoulder that I knew would leave an eternal mark and as I gave a full throated scream, his body began convulsing and pulsating with his unleashed cum flowing into and coating my worn rectum. His fucking had stopped and I think he was just as exhausted as I was, but he didn't get up and continued to lay on me, his cock firmly lodged and with the bulk of his cum contained inside me but with an ooze of the overflow working its way out too. It was quite a while before he finally pulled his body free and for me to be able to start recovering. I remember how precious it was though in hearing his words about how amazing of a fuck it was, and if nothing else, I felt great satisfaction in knowing that I pleased him that way (which turned me on and only made me want him to fuck me again - soon). I lay on the bed a bit longer with the growing stark realization of the seriousness of what just occurred, which was really sinking in with a multitude of thoughts flowing through my head, some absolutely scary. When we met, the last thing that I wanted was to become poz, but now that we had fucked like that, some of the scary stuff began dissipating and was being replaced with some type of wanton desire. The fuck was like nothing I had ever experienced in my life. If nothing more I am filled with a cherished (and in some ways physically painful) feeling, and having the uncertainty involved is making it even more intense. While time will tell what the ultimate outcome of this play will be, I found that my play with Mark was very much on the edge compared to anything I have done before and visiting the edge is something that I find myself wanting to happen again - particularly if it carries an euphoric and true degree of risk.