hntnhole

and a verrrrrry good morning, Philip

I have a stand of Arecas against the back wall of my yard, and I hope that container yours are planted in is of foot-thick concrete !!!  As far as I know, they're the only type of palm that will send out new growth off the sides of more mature growth.  But, they're reflective of the property-owner, in that they shower their seed everywhere they can, and they don't use rubbers either.  

In the meantime, I wish you all the best as you and Kevin deal with the finer points of the relationship.  Sounds like "a keeper" to me .... 

😉

re: One:  

Often things like who gets to pay, all of that is culturally based.  I think it's based on a sense of wanting to do things for the other guy that aren't part of the relationship.  Maybe Kevin fits that bill?  Maybe generosity is just in his nature?  Maybe he gets a kick out of "taking care" of you?  If you two can sort of "split-the-bill", with you allowing him to do what he apparently loves to do occasionally, and you doing stuff for him in the same vein, it would at least mean an agreement (if not complete acceptance) of the roles has been achieved?  I hope you two work this out - might not be as tough as it seems.  

I had no idea A.I. could be used as you describe, but the operative word is "artificial", right?  I suppose it can be a useful arbitration tool, but nothing is more effective than sitting down and having a heart-to-heart conversation about whatever the issue is.  I'm sure you're well-able to be the gracious "winner" in the A.I. wars too.  

re: Two:

Obviously, I'm not familiar with the vegetation in your area, but do watch out for the ferns.  Turn your back for an eyeblink or two, and they'll spread like crazy.  If you planted Areca's, get the seed-pods cut out as soon as you see them.  Those damn seeds will sprout and you'll wind up with 100x more palm trees than you want.  That applies to any type of palm, but Areca's are the worst.  Just like we rawfuckers - they're determined to spread their seed everywhere they can.  

re: Three:

Sounds like an interesting pass-time.  Much more productive than the news around the world these days ... 

12 hours ago, Badguy56 said:

Its a guys raw pheremones.

Better than poppers any time.  I don't care of other guys use poppers; I just don't care for them.  But a "natural" smell on a cumdump's body does the same damn thing for me. 

I'm adding my best wishes for the least terrible outcome for your nephew.  Your extended family is fortunate to have a man of your strength and fortitude to lean on, as they begin to wrestle with this sad news.  

" I am one who believes that all things happen for some reason, and I often struggle to comprehend the reason for this."  If this is true, and it very well may be, then one of those reasons must surely be to do what you can to assist your nephew and his family.  Many of us are sending you our very best wishes.  

That makes me sad too.  There are bad folks in all spheres of human beings though, and unfortunately you finally experienced one.  

I had a similar experience, in a way.  Years ago, my better half went out antique shopping, and came home with this kid who worked at one of the shops.  It must have been cooler weather, since he had a Pendleton insulated shirt/jacket.  Fun had by all, and the othe half offered to drive him back to the shop.  That jacket wound up under the bed, and the cleaning lady wasn't coming again until the following week, so neither he nor I had any reason to look under the bed.  

So, a few days later, he-of-the-hungry-Cock went "shopping" again, brought home something I can't even remember (it was sop for either of us to go for take-out and share it at home) and that kid must have looked under the bed, saw the nice warm jacket, and took it.  Of course, a couple of days later, the first one (in this vignette) came back, because - wait for it - his mom was kicking his ass for losing it !!!  I had no idea of where toh picked up the first kid, and all I remember is giving the second kid an older one of mine so he'd just leave; I never really liked the colors anyway.  

But that doesn't match the theft you endured.  It's not the stuff - it's the fact that was stolen that harms us.  People like that exist, and while we cannot know the reasons they feel they must steal other peoples stuff - particularly after such an in-depth encounter - all we can do is conclude that their situation is far worse than ours.  Do try not to let it get too far into your head - the next X number of guys will be good ones !!!  Maybe one of them will give you some particularly delicious article of gear - and that will make up for it.  

I happen to think that using/not using condoms is a personal choice.  It's up to each individual guy to 1) determine what his risk-level is, 2) decide how to react to that determination, and 3) regulate his sexual behavior accordingly.  Period.

Spielberg and his entire crew would have stood in line for their turns ...... 

20 hours ago, raw773 said:

I'm not even a Devotee.

I'm guessing that in the bars, backrooms, tubs, fuckjoints, you're anything but unappreciated.  Frankly, those are the places where it really counts.  I enjoy the discourse here on BZ, but what really counts is what we actually do when we're out hunting hole.  After all, no Hole has popped through the computer screen onto my Cock quite yet !!!  

Well, if there ARE spies, video recordings, etc - - - we should be getting checks for royalties !!!  Unfortunately, none have arrived in my mailbox yet !!!

Congrats ...er.... whatever ....     I recently got a notice that I've been knighted as a "fanatic".  Not really sure what that means*, or those badges are meant for.  I suppose it's for participating in the discourse - but that's why I'm here in the first place.  

I could offer a couple of thoughts on your Masstery of certain facets, but I've already said enough prior.  Just keep offering your acuity ... that'll make you King of BZ one of these days !!!

*how would they know?  are there spies at Slammer, RR, Eagle, taking notes?  🤣

Actually, there's one other stunt the porn-producing industry pulls on the viewers:  Many of the porn stars are of very slight build - meaning, they're very small-statured guys. Thus, their utterly "normal" Cock appears to be much larger, given their small frame.  When 4 or 5 guys with 6, 6.5" Cocks appear together in a video, and not one of them is over 5'5 in height (with a corresponding slim build), our minds "see" men of what we think of as normal height - somewhere around 6 feet tall.  In that sense, we're being played for suckers (or fuckers).  Sometimes these porn companies even publish the "stats" of their actors, which are completely false.  There's one from Davenport IA that one of my buddies was fucking a few years ago, that I therefore became acquainted with.  Despite the elevating insertions in his boots, that guy didn't come anywhere close to clearing 6' tall. 

The thing - as I see it - that really counts is technique - how a man uses what he has, probing, investigating, exploring a Hole.  Establishing a rhythm, then altering it.  Allegro to Presto to Andante to Largo (maybe even Grave (which needs an umlaut I don't know how to type), back to Presto  .... Vertical probing, Downward exploration,  Side-Saddle - it goes on and on, limited only by the Top's skill.  And for heavens sake  - use every millimeter of what you've got.  If a Hole is akin musical instrument, the Cock is the musician playing that instrument.  From Mozart, through Brahms, to furious Ludwig, to etherial Arvo Pert* and back again. 

There are some men that are "born" to Breed, with the innate gift of knowing instinctively how to use their Cock.  There are far more that only know they need to bang away on the snare-drum until the sticks break.  Breathtakingly, there are some Tops that don't even know enough technique to use their entire Cock on a Hole.  Learn your technique.

So, my fellow Tops - use what you've got with skill.  Always do your best to give the Hole a Breeding he'll remember with a smile, and you'll get a first-class fuck out of it that will bring a smile to you as well.  Whatever you were born with, use it to it's fullest potential - for enrichment of the both of you.

It's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm, (and technique)

*if you haven't, check him out - absolutely beautiful 

"If you're a top who would enjoy doing something like that, can you explain what that feels like for you? Why you would enjoy doing it? I really want to understand."

This is too easy to answer.  Consider yourself, and then consider what your "competition" might be, wandering around the campsite. The men in that little shack with the fuckbench were waiting for a man like you to appear.  Even in the dark, men of a certain substance / experience can recognize what they see and sense, and they know they need to share in it.  More, a "group" sharing is always - for men like you describe - burning hot.

I've barked up this tree a number of times, so just a synopsis. Besides, it's 4 years ago now since this post.  

"it's as though half the Tops didn't realize that was an actual possibility and that they might actually be called upon to perform."

It's THESE guys that belong on the bottom rung.  

"so that's why I make the effort for every single man who summons me."

and why some guys don't.

 "It became a purely instinctual act of two creatures, and he reached forward and gripped me by the back of the neck as his cock pulsed his seed deep inside me"

" The Top must think of, and by diverse means, convey, that he has Power and is about to convey some essence of that power into the body of the bottom. The Top-As-Breeder must demonstrate that he is in control of the whole setting, that he has intent, that he is going to achieve his goal no matter what, and that he is equipped for the task at hand".

Which some men call Mating, Connecting. Celebrating mutual Lusts. Each man contributing, receiving, sharing his half of the complete equation. It could be called any number of things, but not mere rutting, merely Breeding, however delightful that may be. It's on a higher plane.  

Same old same old, huh?

Thanks for the excellent post.

You have a bit of a comedic gift as well, I see.

Have you considered relocating to someplace where your talents can be more widely taken advantage of?  Maybe that's just not in the cards, but it does seem a shame that you have to put up with that silly stuff.  

It's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm (and not "clearly CD guy who looked basically like someone’s (homely) mother ... or " held a loud conversation about personal finance and home decorating"

Maybe they're high on something that interferes with their "abilities" ?  Hardly an excuse, but maybe a reason?  

# 198 meaning the 16th President?  Or maybe the automobile that Henry Leland named after him?  I notice Antoine de la Mothe C - crownjewelofGM isn't among the entries ....

I've never even head most of them before - how could you manage to stifle your LOL ???

EW: "Would each group flourish, enabled to grow through purity of purpose? Or would the groups falter, each needing something that the other provides?"

Most likely they would, since the fantasists depend on the doers-of-the-deeds to fuel their imaginations.  It's regrettable, but it's understandable that some guys just don't hav the balls to do what they know they need to do.  Thus, one of my earlier posts regarding Behavior.  The fantasies are fine, but nothing counts until on actually adjusts one's behavior and gets out there.  

EW: "The result is that the second group gets its satisfaction at the expense of the first."

Not necessarily.  As you point out, the fantasies (or realizations) do begin at some point in each of our lives, and some are honest enough to not only hear the Call, but follow their hearts and minds and go do it.  I don't see how other men's fantasies take place at the expense of those who do act upon discovering/realizing their truth.  There is one obvious exception though - and that is when the dreamers actually reach out to the doers, make a phony plan to meet, with no intention of follow-through.  Those dishonest guys are, in my book, cowards - able only to fantasize about who and what they are, but ill-equipped to actually do it.  Their orgasms are hollow indeed, as they sit in their rooms pretending to be what they fear.  I very much doubt that any man dismisses you as one of these phonies.  If there are one or two, they denigrate themselves to the Community they are trying to affect.  There is not one whiff of insincerity in your posts.  

EW: "I’m actually going to try to publish an explicit written account of my experiences, but I’ll have no choice but to change the names of people and places to protect the... well, to protect the complicit. And that will do nothing but give it more of the flavor of fantasy".

I realize that this post was written almost 3 years ago, long before I found this site.  If you already have published this work, I would love to purchase several copies, one for myself, and the rest as gifts to certain men I know who wrestle with the above-referenced dilemma.  In the event you have yet to publish, I would offer that it is entirely unreasonable and impossible to contact so many men, most of which you may not even know their names.  Of course you must alter any actual names or contact information without specific permission in advance.  

EW: "It makes me want to climb onto the roof of the bathhouse and shout to all the world - “I HAVE BEEN FUCKED BY MORE MEN IN MORE WAYS IN MORE PLACES THAN YOU COULD POSSIBLY BELIEVE AND I WANT TO DO EVERY BIT OF IT AGAIN TOMORROW AFTER A GANGBANG TONIGHT - I LOVE COCK AND CUM AND I GIVE SWEET, SWEET ASS, I’M A SLUTTY CUMDUMP SLUT AND I’M NOT ASHAMED OF IT ONE FUCKING BIT!”

I've written it all before ... you already know what I think about the above.  Are there any more posts regarding reporting from Cloud Cuckoo Land?  I haven't yet found all your previous posts ...

It really is all about servicing Cock/Hole/Sperm

So I'm gradually working my way through posts from ErosWired, an  excellent wordsmith, and just ran across this one.  There are many worthy points, but perhaps I could offer some insight on a couple others.  

A sling is a blunt, overtly aggressive instrument of sexual pleasure for most Tops.  I happen to have three:  One in the playroom, one outside in the back yard (supports built of 4x4x12 lumber), and one portable, of steel-tubing framing.  It is true that usually, indoor (i.e. for the playroom) are installed into the framing of the house via 4 heavy eyebolts screwed through the ceiling into the rafters.  The sling is then hung from these via fairly heavy chain, length dependent on the height of the ceiling.  Attached to each of these suspension chains, as spring-clips to offer support to the legs and/or arms via leather loops, which are easily adjustable depending on the Hole's physiological needs.  The sling is of heavy leather, sometimes with attachments such as a leather pillow.  

The portable sling stand is easily put together, as the steel tubing is narrowed at one end, so it slides easily into another piece of tubing, fitting securely.  There is a heavy X-member each of the tubes fit into on the floor, with the lower horizontal sections fitting together, each meeting at one of the corners.  From there, heavy steel tubing uprights fit together in a similar fashion to a height of between 6 and 7 feet high, where in the overhead steel tubing fits together forming a mirror of the construct on the floor.  Thus, you wind up with a structure that - when occupied, weight is distributed evenly, and g-force is exerted inward, keeping the whole structure very stable and steady.  The same fittings as described above may be used.  

Now.  In a fuckjoint, a sling is an "invitation-direct" to serious group-Breeding.  By contrast, in a private setting the sling is generally by invitation only, since it is so clearly an instrument of Domination. But it is only a tool to effectuate the inclinations of the men in attendance.  The instinct to whore one's Hole, along with the instinct to Breed whore-hole, is up to the men involved.  Put another way, a sling is merely a device to encourage wanton Breeding, and that can only reside in the minds of the men that happen to be in the area.  Thus, if a man who is not well-versed in being used in a sling, he may wind up feeling something other than consumed with CockLust.  I too have seen men who have little more then their own imaginings lying in a sling at orgies/fuckjoints wondering why there are no Cocks rutting in his Hole.  It's because his mind is busy with extraneous stuff, and he doesn't know better.  There is absolutely no connection to distasteful furniture located in an obgyn's office. A sling is as far removed from anything remotely related to female genetalia as anything could be.  In a private setting, there is almost always a ribbed, rubber (i.e. easily washed) floormat under the "business end" of the sling to collect any CockDrool, lube, Sperm that managed to make a run for it.  In a fuckjoint, that is seldom found however  I'm assuming that proper accessories are not included in the "business model".  Neither is proper arranging of the leather ankle-loops, or other accoutrements.  There was a "Leather"bar out on Oakland Park Blvd some years ago that had the most outrageously ill-equipped, poorly installed "sling" I'd ever seen, and I told the bartender so after correcting the problems as best I could; that business failed in short order because it was trying to be what it was not.  Our esteemed author is 100% correct in describing a sling as an instrument of Sexual Power, to be exerted upon the willing Hole, and within all the normal, necessary "limits". One thing I have never used, however, or even seen that I can recall, is a mask.  That would obviate the Hole's use of the mirrors, and most love to watch the Cock rutting in their Holes.  If not, then they merely close their eyes.  

A number of the respondents report the Top fiddling with the Hole's Cock, which I find odd.  From the Top's perspective, I suppose it would be visually gratifying if the Hole's Cock were hard, but it's hardly material to the issue at hand.  The Top is there to fuck the Hole, which is what counts.  I have certainly enjoyed the tactile sensation of running my fingers over the body of the man I'm rutting in, but I have never pinched nipples, slapped or punched anyone, and on behalf of the Tops who have, I offer my deepest apologies to you bottoms have experienced that.  I would say that it's inexperienced men who have not bothered to learn their craft more than anything else. To my mind, it is inconceivable that a Top would try to suck off a bottom lying in a sling !!  It's oil vs water.  A slingfuck is all about the Power Exchange, and nothing else.  Or, more clearly, a Cock needing to use a Hole, period.  My Cock, My Sperm, your Hole.

Quote "" I explained to him that the sling was meant for fucking and not for any sort of BDSM activity, which would have required some negotiation up front in any case.""  Completely obvious, or should have been to the man.  Good on you for telling him so.

In closing:  

1.  Understand that in public fuckjoints, any guy might imagine that he knows how to use a sling.  When one of them tries to, with you in it, and proves himself inept, then TELL HIM.  Tell him to learn his craft before he assumes he knows everything, and deflate his bubble (one of you won't do that, I know ...).  Ignorance doesn't deserve to be tolerated, just because it's coming from a Top.  After all, it takes the respect of (at least) two men to mate, and that act is to be held in high esteem. 

2.  If I knew how, I would gladly send photos of a properly arranged sling, so each of you will know at a glance if the Top is aware of the issue.  But, I don't know how to do that. 

3.  Never give up on whoring in a sling.  When it's "right", it can be a mind-blowing experience !!!

4.  I'm looking forward to finding the post including the Latin descriptions with a big, fat smile ...

It's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm ... and "connection"

I'm not an atty, but one of my neighbors is, and I just borrowed his lawyers hat.

There is an unstated quotient to this post, which only addresses behavior.  Slutty behavior, in and of itself, is great, it's thrilling, and compelling.  But there's an unstated facet here: "How, then, do we calculate the value of a cumdump slut?"

We calculate the dedication to his calling the subject slut displays.  We consider what qualities, other than slutting, the man possesses.  Gold is valuable, and so are those eggs.  Slutting - offering up one's Hole to any and all who need/desire it can be a self-centered act, as well as (and surely more rarely) an "other-centered" act.  In my experience, most sluts are more self-centered than "other-centered".  Of course, the satisfaction of servicing a Cock until it Breeds is something all cumsluts enjoy, but I would hazard that most don't engage in slutting in an altruistic mindset.  

"This is a bottom of remarkable promiscuity, with little or no discretion over whose cock he will take into his warm and waiting hole, who goes out of his way to frequent locales where he can be readily identified and used by any who pass by, and who actively and lewdly advertises himself as a mere vulgar sexual receptacle"  Yes, that is exciting to a lot of Cocks, the owners of which may or may not give a rat's ass why the Sperm Receptacle does what he does.  When I'm in a darkroom, I surely don't, but then I don't know anything about the guy either.  That said, when I do know something about the guy*, and it's an "other-centered" service (and not merely self-centered), slutting becomes honorable, deserving of respect.  In the economic context, it makes him valuable.  Sometimes of great value.  

" draws certain types of Dominant males like moths to a flame".  Guilty - joyfully, happily, shamelessly Guilty ... the sluttier the better.

"For some, the value diminishes" because they are basically self-centered, and may have not given any thought to the aspirations the slut is living up to (or would that be down?).  In any case, the basic act can be happily accomplished, but not the "mating with one's brother-in-Lust".  

"Therefore I have to conclude that some value is placed on ass based on how readily available it is".  Correct, in most cases.  Incorrect however, when the entirety of the slut's behavior is known.  In most cases, that opportunity isn't the goal, only getting off in a wet Hole is.  But it's missing the "connection" entirely, which is regrettable.  Some Tops are completely unaware there even is a connection possible with a man who sluts his Hole.  They're missing out on how much depth there can be in Breeding a slutty Hole.

"I’ve had so many Tops hold off coming to fuck me until I have another load already in me."  These Tops are getting closer to real appreciation for men like you.  Thus, they will part with more gold or whatever to rut in your Sperm-filled Hole with some modicum of respect for who and what you are.

" Yet so often I see such guys spoken of in scorn by Tops expressing how little they’re interested in fucking them."  It's not the buff body, it's not the posing, it's the self-centeredness on display.  Whether the subject knows it or not, he's virtually hollering "you're not hot enough to fuck me" by his behavior.  Who wants to give our Cock to that kind of hauteur?  Maybe it's the Holes perceived insecurity, maybe it's this, maybe it's that - but one thing it is definitely not is "other-focused".  Yes, men who slut their Holes are sexually magnetic to most Tops - it's like "ohhh ... look at that guy taking loads ... I want to get a piece of that too".  For the discerning, it's absolute magic !!!

I rest my case, return the lawyers cap, and restate: your "other-centeredness" is what makes you special.  

It's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm

*for instance, when a fb is whoring out his boy

Maybe I've become a bit jaded, having lived in large cities all my life.  Maybe I've lost whatever sense of purity I ever had. 

All I can say in reply is, your sense of caring for others is truly enormous. 

You have my utmost respect.

For you, then, it's entirely good and useful and honest to wear it.  Circumstances are different for every guy, and how we choose to meet those circumstances is no one's business but their own.  If I were at the tubs, and I noticed a man wearing that kind collar, I'd merely hang the towel on my hard Cock, get in line, and wait my turn to celebrate the mating ritual with that man, hoping that I'd be the umpteenth guy to do so.  At the tubs, I wouldn't be expecting any "traditional" Leather scene, other than maybe the Dom whoring out his Breedboy, which would preclude the wearing of any hides.  I don't wear traditional gear when I hit the fuckjoints.  Actually, the tubs can be an ideal place for a Dom to teach his boy to focus solely on servicing The Cock, since there is so little else for the boy to see in the first place.  One of my buddies back north did that to help his boy "get over" certain hang-ups, and it was an effective training tool.  

I'm guessing that your collar is, mentally, always on your neck, in the sense that your mind is always focused on fulfilling your goal, your destiny.  The physical collar is to announce to the world that you've worked hard to become the man you were born to be, that you're clear and confident about that, Discerning men - men of experience - men who really know themselves, are often to recognize a man of your capacities with or without the balls-stirring optical statement.  

Countering the fundamental  emotional joy of Breeding/Mating with as many of our Brothers-in-this-Life as we possibly can, is the unfortunate restriction of judging a man by his (or worse, our own) physical appearance.  One of the physical characteristics I tend to avoid is obesity, mostly since I'm not swinging a "porn-Cock".  I'm certainly not ashamed of it, and being physically slender, it presents ok, but if I can't get into the actual Hole for all the flesh surrounding it, I tend to steer clear.  So, we all have choices to make, and for our own reasons.  As long as it's honest, not harmful to anyone, helps one focus on what's really important, I'm all for it.  

One last point:  Among your many talents, I rather doubt that "invisibility" is one of them, and certainly not to a man with a horny eye.

It's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm

Good morning ... again.

Obviously, I read/answered a different communication before reading this one.

The above is completely clear and unequivocal, and I thank you for sharing these facets of your journey.  Perhaps it's my deeply held convictions regarding the Leather Ethic that instigated concern in previous posts.  In my experience, I have seen and known a number of guys that put on a collar to announce their submission when they're out cruising, similar to an armband or other "flagging" gear (particularly if they're somewhat "butch" in appearance), and I considered the term "Collared" in the traditional sense.  That's on me, and my apologies.  Some Dom Leathermen believe that a boy should be torn down to his bare essentials, and then "rebuilt" into what his Dom needs.  I have no judgements against that, as long as it's included in the initial negotiations.  I happen to believe that a boy should be built UP to his potential, not torn down and re-built.  You have managed to accomplish that monumental task without the intimate Care of a Dom - without being Collared in the traditional sense.  I remain awed by y our inner strength, honesty, courage and conviction.  Reaching the depths / heights of your convictions - assisted by your former Master - is absolutely remarkable.

Thus, there was a Negotiation, fully and fairly conducted between two men, albeit a non-traditional one.  Whether it was "conventional" in the context of the Leather Ethic matters not one whit.  What matters is, it happened, and each participant was enriched by it.  When I was accountable to those two subs (mentioned in a previous post), both were "conventional" collarings, which placed me in the position of caring for, protecting, ensuring safety) of each.  And I did that.  

Again, thanks for the clarification.  

9 hours ago, ErosWired said:

I think the possibility of realizing any ideal scenario is vanishingly remote, and I will simply have to look after myself as best I can.

I could hardly disagree more.  

(this time, it's all about way more than) Cock/Hole/Sperm

"You see, I know I keep saying it, and I don’t expect that any of you actually believe me because it just sounds too much like a fantasy, but when a Top asks me for my ass, I feel psychologically compelled to obey. A man used actual techniques to train me to react this way."

I don't think this sounds like a fantasy - it sounds more like a mind-fuck turned into a nightmare.  

My question is, where is the man that you refer to above?  Since it was he who used certain techniques to instill the psychological compulsion to obey (I'm assuming the compulsion to offer your Breedhole to any Cock in need of it), it is his responsibility to also "filter" this compulsion, removing spurious/dangerous "advances" and requiring your Hole to service serious ones.  Perhaps he sensed your Calling before you realized it, and helped you overcome extraneous conditioning that interfered with your innate needs. (i.e. cultural, religious, etcetera), and freed your thought-process of these regrettable influences.  Perhaps he wasn't quite so high-minded, and enjoyed the manipulation.  I have no idea.  But what I do believe, is that man owes you control over what he instilled in your most intelligent mind as well.  If your compulsion to Service is open-ended, events as described above are sure to happen, and if you have no defenses against those who would take advantage of your generosity, then I would suggest that only half of the "gift" the man gave you was actually given.  You also need the freedom, the ability to actively defend yourself from deleterious situations. 

It's like being placed a magnificent rowboat, and shoved out into a river with no oars.  The rocks, shallows, submerged tree trunks are still there, and you have no matching, "other side of the coin" compulsion to avoid them. 

Of course everyone should ideally be generous; feed the hungry, clothe the naked (well ... except in certain, specific situations), shelter the homeless.  That's the Universal Message every human being needs to uphold, without expecting recompense.  Give freely, as was given to us freely. These are uplifting, not "down-dragging" acts.

"So, what is the moral of this tale? I’m not really sure. I want to be able to continue to place my trust in the essential good nature of people; I’m a trusting soul to start with, but if I’m going to achieve my goal of giving Tops the ability to take absolutely anything they want from me, I have to not only remain intimately vulnerable, but become radically more so."

 Obviously, I'm sorry to know what you experienced that night (except for the young man that rang down the curtain for the evening). but I don't think the fault lies with your instincts, however generous they may be.  Since your goal is "giving Tops the ability to take absolutely anything they want from me", that would include not showing up, presenting themselves as something other than what they actually are, any number of deceptive negatives.  I too am generous in believing in humanity's innate goodness. I have been called gullible many more times than once, and I made it my business to learn from those experiences.  That may be positive, maybe negative, but it is also defensive in nature.  I still keep a old altoid box in the car with folding money, since there are beggars at almost every stoplight in this burg.  I support charities I believe worthy,  Friends who need help know they can call me. I recite these things not to inflate myself, but to point out that we can learn acts to defend ourselves from charlatans when we need to.

Maybe you could consider - if the man who refined your innate instincts is no longer present in your life - an addendum to your goal.  Add another phrase something like .... "anything they want from me, provided it's an honest and true need. I exist, my Hole exists to provide for your COCK'S needs, not your psychological deficiencies".  You do clearly owe your Hole to any/every raw Cock that needs to Breed Hole. That's 100% valid, commendable, and magnificent.  But you do not owe unsupervised misuse of your gifts to any ragamuffin who happens by, looking for whatever they can wring out of you. What you don't owe, is being used, mistreated, taken advantage of.   You're just too valuable to waste yourself on other folks bullshit.

It's all about (and this time, in the strictest sense) Cock/Hole/Sperm

On 7/18/2019 at 2:39 PM, FelchingPisser said:

I have mirrors all over my playroom--some for me, most for the bottoms so they can see my dick split them open.

So do I.  At first, it was for a Breedboy that stayed with me for a while - he could lie in the sling and watch everything, head to toe, including whoever was Breeding him. That was the first time I'd actually watched myself "in the moment".  Frankly, it didn't do much for me, but the Holes almost always liked watching my Cock ruttng in their Holes. So I added 3 more in that room.  If guys like it, why not?