hntnhole

On 11/5/2019 at 7:50 PM, Daddyph said:

Wow-that was amazing and beautiful.

On 2/25/2020 at 3:28 PM, FelchingPisser said:

Very interesting and, not surprisingly, a good read.

Agreed.  EW is always a great read.  Having just discovered the Blogs, I'm working my way through EW's work, which reflects several magnificent talents, whether in-born or learned.  

Parts of this post reminds me of my high-school years, in that - being musically gifted - I sometimes took jobs as church musician (organ/choir director), always in Lutheran churches*, since there were no other kind anywhere near where I lived.  One was at a church quite near my house, the choristers were (polite cough) "limited", and I never really cared about being organist, so the situation wasn't ideal.  But I digress a bit ...  The pastor was a middle-aged dump of a man, thoroughly infused with the "guilt-magic" of the Lutheran church.  He would thunder on about transubstantiation (read cannibalism), ancient magical conception, blah blah blah.  He was also a completely closeted gay man.  He so throughly detested himself, his desires, he chose to live a dishonest life rather than accept the humanity he was born with, and wound up a mere shadow of a man.  His wife - fat, dumpy, unhappy - his kids, dullards, awkward, completely lacking in any shred of self-confidence. 

Contrast that with the honest life that our author has lived.  Not necessarily easy, but honest.  Laying it all out there (I mean here on BZ) for any other man to fold into the battter of baking his Better Life.  The wordsmithing draws guys in, but the elements presented are always worthwhile.  We need to question everything, judge our beliefs, our actions through the mirror of self introspection.  I don't know of any other way to arrive at living an honest life.  The answers lie within us, not with outside sources trying to force us into submission to cultural bullshit created by others, usually centuries, millennia ago.  Lots of things are "sexy", but intelligence is really sexxxxyyy.

I wasn't working there all that long when it was time for the HateHomos sermon.  As I sat there in the balcony, with the rest of the choristers listening to this shit spewing from his perverted mouth, I became angrier and angrier.  Finally, I just got up and walked out.  I have no idea who played the wrap-up, final hymn, responsorials, all of that.

EW went through a similar agony, and has shared his story in such an eloquent and graceful way that I simply must congratulate him on making it through all the cultural/religious bullshit that's shoveled down our throats, and found his Truth.  In the cultural tradition I was born into, we call them The Ancient Ones, but they went by many names throughout history, as did the current One.  

Although our journey through life may be difficult, and some don't make it through unscathed, thanks, ErosWired, for your generous sharing.  By the way, I understood the Eros part of your sn right away, but - not being electronically interested, it did take me a little while to figure out the Wired part. 

Here on BZ, it's usually ... All about Cock/Hole/Sperm .... but sometimes it's about a lot more than just that.

*lower case intentional, as a sign of disrespect

First, a laugh on me, in that I just realized there were these continuing posts located in the "blogs" heading.  Yours are first class on a number of levels. A hot Hole is sexy, a hot Cock is too.  Intelligence, however, trumps (pardon the usage) both to the nth degree.

But to this one:

There is a point at which - once we've devoted ourselves to the vagaries of pursuing Lust as a life's goal - when the "been there, done that" no longer carries the same thrill it previously did.  We therefore find ourselves at the point of needing what I like to call "Ever-Deeper-Depravities" (alliteration is obviously one of my favorite literary devices) to fulfil our cravings.  We can only eat so many baloney sandwiches before we simply must have some mustard with it, or - maybe try some other kind of meat.

Considering your excellent sexual history outlined so beautifully above, there are other more 'unusual' sexual acts (probably unmentionable here, lest I get tossed out), but which most likely have crossed your mind, if only fleetingly.  The "Inhibitory Thresholds" can vary widely, and to a certain extent everyone obeys certain ones, like stopping at red lights, but these are more cultural "agreements" everyone respects as much for self-preservation as anything else.  

I recall reading elsewhere that you're a "barefoot farmboy" ... 

Thanks, TightBot7, for your kind reply.  I appreciate it.

I'm hoping I have misunderstood some of the points made above, and if so I anticipate receiving some clarity.  If not, some of the points made are truly heartbreaking. 

I would imagine it's very difficult to enter into this kind of magnificent relationship without a firm understanding of the Leather Ethic.  By that, I mean a complete and thorough "negotiation" between the two (or more) prospective participants prior to entering into the relationship.  Some of us are, by nature, Dominant, and some are submissive.  That's according to our inborn nature, and both inclinations are equally valid, and deserve to be recognized as such.  A formal Dom/sub "collaring" can only be successfully accomplished by a meeting of the minds, an agreement what will happen, what won't happen, and agreed to by all parties.  In the event something isn't working as anticipated by either of the men a "time-out" (usually for a 1-time experience), or a "re-negotiation" is in order.

Once that negotiation has taken place, the Dom has the wonderful, thrilling, proud responsibility to take utmost care of his sub.  To see to his property's welfare in every way, and in all aspects of the sub's life (this can include financial, health-related, certainly fulfillment-related, psychologically-related issues), and every other aspect of life.  Even if only for a "scene" - i.e. a one-time BD/SM sharing of the experience, the negotiation is absolutely crucial.  Each participant knows with confidence what will and what won't happen.  

For some of us, wanton sex with many men is an important part of our lives, regardless of whether we're D or s.   For submissives, being "owned", cared for, sheltered from the storms of life, as well as enjoying complete sexual submission to many men, at the direction of and under the supervision of their Dom is equally important - even crucial to their well-being*.  As a Dominant Top, I can state unequivocably that there is NO greater thrill than when - after a thorough negotiation - a submissive turns himself over to my care, my sexual use. I have driven very fast cars, I've flown airplanes, I've done all kinds of things, but the experience of a sub offering himself up to my care, trusting, knowing that I will do everything there is to do to enrich his life and never do anything to hurt, disappoint, harm him in any way is the greatest "high" I've ever experienced.  It can be for a day, a weekend, a month, or sometimes years, and it's simply mind-blowing and beautiful and enriching. 

I realize that the focus of this site lies elsewhere .  We're all here because we love raw fucking; Breeding as many Holes as possible for some, taking as much Sperm up our Holes (i.e. mating with) as many Cocks as we can for some.  Ownership, however, implies far more than delicious, wanton sex.  Ownership requires far more than mere horniness, the instinct to control.  I think that most Dominant men (sexually speaking) are unequipped for Ownership, perhaps even disinterested in the entire subject matter outlined above, and there's nothing wrong with that at all, provided they don't make promises they are unwilling or unable to keep. 

The foundational rule, the cornerstone of the Leather Ethic is to never, ever harm a sub (or anyone else, for that matter).  Sure, "accidents" can happen, especially with newbies to The Life, but intentional harm, either actively or passively allowed to occur is counter to everything the Leather Ethic stands for.  The LeatherLife is essentially a life of Service - from the Dom and the sub equally.  For me, this applies to every aspect of life - it's somewhat of a belief-system - a way of structuring one's life for the better - expunging all the religious bullshit so many have have been immersed in and replacing it with simply caring for others.   When this principle is understood and accepted by two men, there is an unimaginably wonderful Universe of sharing the two men can experience.  Callow disregard, whatever the particular aspect of living our lives, is a sad and shameful characteristic, and ruins the uncaring one emotionally. and injures others left in his wake. 

I'm sorry, but the Dom is ALWAYS constrained by the terms of the negotiation, and it is not within his purview to disregard his agreements.  This applies across the board to the sub as well, and any other parties that may participate.  "Care, Respect, Honor"  describe the very foundation upon which a successful D/s relationship is built.  

My apologies for going on like this, but it's just too sad to realize that a truly magnificent sub may have been mistreated so profoundly.  I hope with all my heart I misunderstood the initial post.

😞

*it is entirely possible/probable that the Dom will send the sub to a trusted friend to provide sexual service.  It is fairly common for Leathermen to swap their subs for a weekend with their Brothers-in-Leather.  Obviously, this only happens when it's within the confines of the negotiation, and the recepient of the Dom's largess is a well-known and trusted friend.  Even then, phone contact between the Dom and his sub is required.

"I mostly suck at math. Always hated it."  So have I.  One more common thread. In High School, I flunked algebra. The teacher allowed me a D, so as not to prevent me from the "college track".  She was an old woman, and I remember her telling me that there had been a handful of students she's run across who's minds simply could not comprehend algebra.  That said, my mind has a metronome in it - I can sense a flagging tempo instantly, which tends to happen a lot in more complex scores.  

"And I discover that my name has both the same number of letters ..."  If I knew how to do it, I wonder if my name (numerologically?) would reveal to the World what a HoleHound I am ... at least it would be convenient !!!

"But there will always be a tiny little seed of doubt now sprouted in the back of my mind: What if there really is some greater cosmic energy out there with the power to reveal fundamental truths about ourselves, and I just tapped into it."  That wouldn't surprise me, nor would it disappoint me if untrue.  It's a fascinating issue, and the world is full of interesting facets, connections, symmetries, parallels - particularly where the grass grows blue.

I wouldn't put anything past your estimable abilities.

What a thoughtful, incisive, enriching post.

I think that the truth - however we are given to understand it - is crucial to living a productive life.  While cultural norms may be unaccepting of the richness, diversity of the human experience, it's important to realize that cultural norms have little, if anything, to do with truth.  These norms exist for cultural reasons (more babies, more cannon-fodder) for all the negative things we're pressed to accept.  Fomenting hatreds against "the other", self-interest (religion), temporal power (wars), is something that human beings have been fooled into accepting for millennia.

While I know nothing about numerology, it is interesting potential facet of our lives.  What it isn't, however, is a controlling facet of our lives.  I believe that what controls our lives is our honesty about ourselves.  It's tough to live a lie, once we become aware of the choices we can make. 

"there was once a version of me who could never have imagined I would become what I am now" - which applies to uncountable numbers of we human beings.  I too could have made that statement, and it would be utterly true.  The fact is though, that "version" would have been far less productive than the "true" version of who and what I am.  Each of us have choices to make, and those of us who choose to follow our own personal "truth" are - in my estimation - the lucky ones. 

"My former Master took a latent instinct and forced me to confront and accept that it was my true nature."  I think your former Master recognized your value, your ability for reflection, your intelligence, and most crucially, your instinct to become an honest man.  I think he did the world a lovely favor.  More, I think he did you (and the world) an immeasurable favor, not to mention the value of accepting your truth.  He gave you a magnificent gift.  He knew that mating with you would be enriching not only for your truth, but enriching for every man that mated with you.

"Yes, there’s a sense of humiliation I feel".  Humiliation is nothing more than a tool the unfulfilled use in defense of their own inability to face truth.  You need not accept cultural humiliations, rather you can feel triumphant in the fact that you have accomplished (thanks to your former Master) what those who would denigrate you have obviously not.  Take those humiliating comments for what they are:  inverse compliments.  You're the one with the courage to become the man you were born to be.  Those to try to humiliate others, clearly have their own issues to resolve.  

"Could I have simply turned left instead of right at some point and never become this at all?"  Of course you could have.  Choosing that path would have placed you among the millions upon millions of fearful human beings that were unable to be true to themselves.  That would have denied you the fulfillment of becoming the man you were born to be.  That would have limited your ability to become Whole, and that would have been a tragedy.  You have no idea how many lives you have made richer by sharing your thoughts, perceptions, questions, answers.  Of course you mated with your peers - your Brothers - again.  You're free of the constraints that cripple so many.  You know yourself, you know your instincts, and you fulfill them.  In short, you're an honest, truthful, complete and magnificent Man.  Does anything else really matter more?

(sometimes, it's all about more than) Cock/Hole/Sperm

Hey, bud 

twinkhunter's right ... it sounds like you're relationship is either monogamous (or supposed to be) or you and your bf supposedly only breed other holes together.  In either case, you already know the thrill of Lusting for more Cock.  You already know you're going to shuck your shorts and bend over for extra Cock in your Hole.  I'd say, the best thing you can do is try to get your bf to get in on the action.  Try to at least cross the bridge you're definitely going to cross first, and get him to enjoy watching you take sperm off other Cocks.  Very, very few things are as strong as our lust for breeding Hole, or our lust for taking loads (or, both for that matter), and it's gonna happen to you too, just like it's happened to uncountable men before you.  Be happy that you're followning your lust for raw Cock - make the best of the situation, because you're gonna get extra Cock/sperm pumped up your gut no matter what  you think right now.  Good luck, bud !!