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Fair Enough! To the issue that u raised about Nikki Hailey dodging the issue of slavery, with the added implication that she somehow harbors anti-black sentiment; could it be the case that she is being misunderstood? She never really thought that anyone would question that the Civil War was primarily about slavery. After all, you yourself state that slavery wasn't the direct cause of the war! Just to be clear. I am not a fan of Nikki Hailey. I personally think she is more white than the Whites! She is an anti trans, selfish, rich, self serving person who totally forgets that there was a time, she was the child of an immigrant and was treated really badly in the southern state, that she now seems to think is some kind of christian heaven on earth and a light to the rest of the United States and indeed even the world. My point is, is her response being misunderstood or misstated?

May I ask, how you are so sure that the Native American guy was saying "hateful things". Do you speak or understand some Lakotan or any Native American language? Is it possible that he was doing "dirty talk" in Lakotan; since it is a foreign language, and often people can misunderstand speakers of a language that they don't understand as hostile, aggressive or even malicious. Also, could be doing some native American spiritual chant — and asking the American gods to bless your homosexual sexual union, as there are no Judeo-Christian like injunctions against gay people in the traditional Native American culture; they where always seen as being spiritual and part of the religious life of the community. The White arrival and presence in the Americas brought a lot of anti-gay attitudes and programs that where not part of the Native American fabric, both North and South.

The issue i wished to raise was how there is a complete erasure of Native American history and heritage, as if this was a continent that was bereft of civilization before the White European god with his army of beggars on a boat landed at mythical Mayflower to "christianize" the Americans; and boy oh boy, has this been a profitable endeavor of genocide, murder, loots and robbery for the "Christians!". The Native American has entirely been eradicated from his own continent and both the South and the North Americans are practically slaves of the Europeans who now determine where they can live(reservations), what gods they are allowed to worship(conversion to "Christianity"), how much of their own historical knowledge, whose achievements in science and technology rivalled the Europeans, they are able to transmit - thanks to the Inquisition of both the Catholic and Protestant "missionaries". America i.e. the United States is founded on someone else STOLEN land and WEALTH.....

I am grateful for the invitation to look at your 'record' on Native American issues, and am happy to report that, I think, you do acknowledge the plight of the Native Americans and the truth of the Americas. Indeed as you rightly state, ever non Native-American is an immigrant in this beautiful continent.

Thank you so much!!!!!!! and I feel like a fool, for not figuring that i could probably search the term! I now do know why I keep coming back to this site, though. Very interesting discussions and sweet moderators. Much appreciated 🌻🎉

I tried doing a "Search" on your profile, and it will only show the last 5 or 7 posts you made, and thus, unfortunately, I am not able to access any of those where u referred to the Native Americans. If you would like to, please, feel free to either send me a link to those posts, here or in a message. It is not my place to sit in judgement of anyone, and when I raised the issue - It wasn't personally directed at you and again apologize, if it came across that way. Thank you for your generosity, in engaging with this important question.

I did not intend to make it sound personal — i.e. these where your personal views or actions — and apologize if it came across that way. I appreciate the invitation to go through you previous comments on the issue, and will take it up.

Well turns out that our site and its barebackers are quite able to discern what the next move of the Pope is going to be! 66% voted that the pope had said yes to same-sex blessing and about a months and a half later, the pope hands it out as a new year gift to the world. Who would have thought that the catholic church which is a fairly conservative organization, would break through its history of suppression and discrimination, and finally embrace gays. So my next question is... does anyone plan on getting blessed by the local catholic priest. I don't believe there is a criteria for who is a "bf", and any two ( or perhaps more if your priest is truly open minded) could seek a blessing!

If only governments and the pharmaceutical industry that they enable, would act as soon as the problem starts without waiting until it become a nightmare- we would be in a much better place. Sadly many governments are still stuck in moralistic judgements at disease especially sexually transmitted diseases and seem to lack the Will to Act. The historical record of the US government in dealing with the HIV-Aids crisis is something we need to keep in mind. LGBTQ organizations needs to demand greater actions for our respective governments. To quote that powerful phrase, those who fought resiliently when AIDS was devastating the gay world - Silence equals Death.

I fear you are looking at the mote in thy brother's eye i.e. Ms. Nikki Hailey and fail to see the mote in thine own eye; your account of the formation of the United States fails to even utter a word about the Native Americans. When the the British tribes landed up in North America, the Native Americans and their continent was far richer than Europe with a standard of living, science and industrialization that was the envy of Europe. No wonder u wanted to come to someone else's homeland and once u got there, the deliberate policy of disease and destruction, saw around 95 % of the Native American population die and their wealth, industries and farms seized by the Europeans on the claims that the white Christian god hates the heathens and has sanctions this villainous carnage. Neither the U.S. or any of the white governments in America have ever compensated the Native Americans in any meaningful way for the loss of their person, property and wealth, and the Natives todays are one of the poorest people in America, in their own continent. Why the silence when it comes to the real and continuing victims of the formation of the United States??

It is very interesting to hear the perspective of a gay doctor. 👨‍⚕️ I would say it can influence a medical practioner but i am not convinced it interferes with medical practise, at least it shouldn't. I am assuming, you chose not to become a gynecologist, for the simple reason that female genetila is not what you prefer to work with, it actually puts you off. As a gay man I am not interested in it either. Not every medical practioner or doctor specializes in all parts of medicine and I would think that most doctors are comfortable with the area of practise including the specific body area that they usually deal with. Also, I Imagine different personality types likely make different choices. Some people might prefer to work with females just coz they find the male body too attractive and don't like the distraction or interference it may bring. while others might feel more comfortable working with the gender they are attracted to rather than avoiding it. I believe it is a VERY IMPORTANT issue. From what i read, atleast according to a Havard Study, regular ejaculation reduces your risk of prostate cancer especially as you age. I do believe scientists and clinicians should be more open about this and be forthcoming as it affects the health of general public.

Same here Thank you for informing and I believe you are actually right. I do remember the term transvestite and not sure why its considered offensive as transexual seems to be pretty close to that term, and is considered socially acceptable. I still believe that gay men do have a right to a gay male bathhouse and the presence of trans men can introduce heterosexuality or perhaps to be accurate transsexuality into the space. I think more information needs to be available such as how many FTM i.e. trans men are gay. i.e. prefer men and how many are straight , i.e. prefer women. To some gay men, having sex with a FTM trans man or their presence in a bathhouse might feel like straight sex, having sex with a women instead of a man. People do feel the way they do and i think bathhouses are about sexual freedoms, live and let live. I will give u an example that I am sure many folks here would have encountered. The tops that love to share a bottom and the Top that does NOT like to share. the moment he realizes u are into group or more than him, he wants nothing more to do with you... Is he bigoted? No, i just think people are wired differently including in terms of sexual tastes.

I assumed that Trans would include both transgendered( men and women who identify with the opposite gender but do not feel the need to have a sex change surgery) and transexual ( people who wish to have a sex change operation).The key difference between the two is the former want to live only occasionally and intermittently as the other gender i.e. one opposite to what was assigned to them at birth, while the latter, transexuals wish to live as the other gender, all the time. Hope that clarifies things a little bit more. My friend does identify as a guy who like to cross-dress (Trans) and has a wife but does like to cross-dress occasionally. He does seem to take pride in his male body and does workout quite a bit. The term term Trans is wide and should include all those who identify in the broad umbrella of Trans.

I appreciate your taking the time to put forward you viewpoint. I am not aware of the details of this and honestly I wouldn't've have suspected that was the case, though I did know that the Nazis disliked any kind of "imperfection" in the Aryan race and did try to exterminate disabled people. I am going to try to read up more about it. I think the way a society treats its sick and special needs people, tells a lot about who they are as a people. I personally like to include both disabled differently abled people and regular people in special needs because I think anybody can be special needs. For e.g. A woman can be special needs compared to a man when it comes to physical strength. I disagree with treating autism as mental illness and imagine autistic people have mental illness just like the general population, and people who have mental illness need instinctive support not visceral repulsion. Sadly People can react with cruelty to people who are different. 'Crazy' people need our support not rejection.

Thank you everyone for your spirited discussion and honest sharing of your views. Just wanted to jump into the pan myself. is exclusion from a public place ever acceptable? For e.g. libraries might only be open to members, and I might be denied rights to access a book, even though i am a member of the community but not a member of the library. You have a very valid concern about inclusivity and true acceptance but even as members of the LGBTQ we do bar lesbians from gay bathhouses. Could it be possible that barring Transgendered men from gay bathhouses be on valid grounds? Of course barring people is very tricky as given the history of abuse, phobia towards anything that wasn't white christian male being a reality of the US, - barring can sound and be a very negative experience for those who are being denied entry. I mean while say for eg refusing to go to a restaurant coz it allows inter-racial dinning is clearly bigoted, could someone be allowed to say i don't like mexican food or chinese cuisine or french food for that matter — too fancy! and choose not to go to those restaurants. i totally agree that trans people are probably one of the most hard hit minority at the moment and they face the maximum violence and sheer hatred for who they are. Bigotry against them is still socially acceptable and people are very slow to change. Even trans people have sexual preferences. believe me, a very handsome man that i know knew, is trans and was in the US Marines and he told me he was once out and dressed as a women and a guy made a pass at him, he was going to beat up the guy who made a pass at him. I was very confused when he related the story to me but explained He is trans but is attracted to women not men! it doesn't need to be an Olympic of Oppression and there doesn't need to be a hierarchy even but i think, categories always remain. Racial bigotry is unique and while disability can bring hostility and perhaps even hate, but can it really equal hate- such as those towards another race(Cowboys vs Indian), gender – that women, religion (catholic vs protestant etc) ?

Thank you so much for responding, Bootman. I actually did wonder if the gentleman who i responded to had posted after his initial post, but the thought only occurred to me, after i had hit the Post button! The decline in stigma in 2015, that u mention, would u say it was for HIV, being gay or both.? I feel sad that anybody could be so mean, that they are horrified at the thought of sex with a poz guy. As an Asiatic guy, I usually find two groups within western homosexuality: The first group of people who are very much into Asians and another set of western gays who seem almost horrified at the thought of having sex with an "Asian". It is sad when gays behave in such bigoted and bullying fashion, but i guess homosexuals are subject to the same faults that straight human being are. Much of the rejection/horror is just an act, thought , coz if u are having casual sex, then how do u know if the person is truly neg? I personally think that being gay is itself a big issue for some gay men, who come from homophobic family backgrounds and often fear that HIV would make their homophobic family and/or friends reject them more or see it as a punishment from God specially as a punishment for homosexuality, as believed by many evangelical-fundamentalist "Christians".

I know some others might misunderstand my question, but seeing your full response, makes me confident, that you will not. I am wondering if u have ever faced any kind of hostility – even horror – as a gay person, i.e. for being gay; and how would u compare that with people's response when u tell them you are poz.

parts of Islam can be scary just as parts of Judaism. Some object to the seemingly exclusive parts of Christianity, and find it offensive and even violent spiritually. Of course, most jews, muslims, christians and westerners consider their religion most peaceful. Why do u think that people who oppose Trump: his autocracy, anti democratic tendencies, lie, demagoguery, racism, financial fraudulence etc. — don't oppose Islam and parts of its culture that are anti-modern and against freedoms of the world. They are less likely to be vocal about it, simply out of politeness since Islam is a non western religion and they don't know everything about it and want to avoid criticizing it unfairly and wrongly?

It sure is complicated! and I have started wondering about people who gather in groups/societies 🙂 and claim they are sex addicts. Not that i don't think its possible but it sure seems like they are very keen to ascribe this 'title' to themselves, almost like some kind of self flagellation of their christian church upbringing, of their parents or grandparents memory as many did grow up without any personal attendance to a church but their religious ideas mostly came from society around them. I have seen self proclaimed sex addicts-gay men talk about how it was horribly 'addictive' for them to visit a sex bookstore in the 80's and I kept thinking to myself, how else would u have had sex back then, considering many parts of the US did have active anti-sodomy laws which meant that u could go to jail for homosexual sex. How these men can consider their sexual activity as being "addictive" often with the justification that they could get AIDS added it, as being proof of their addiction is beyond me. As far AIDS is concerned, I have shared in my earlier post ( which I am not going to repeat, lest i get banned again!) that the U.S. government with it medical negligence did end up creating HIV Aids into a problem for gays and blacks and eventually a global problem, that it is today. A speech that Hollywood hero, and President of that era, Ronald Regan made in 1987 is very telling of his views, "It's also important that America not reject those who have the disease, but care for them with dignity and kindness. Final judgment is up to God; our part is to ease the suffering and to find a cure". I wonder if he would have referred to those with heart disease or cancer or some other medical disease, as awaiting a Final Judgement from God. To our self diagnosed sex addicts who believe Aids is a proof of the addictiveness of gay sex I have to ask: Going out in the cold can make u catch a cold or worse get pneumonia. Thus, is going out in the cold, addictive and those who do such things, "addicts". Sex is as complicated as human life. Studies point to the complexity of human sexual existence and experience. Regular ejaculation, atleast according to existing studies, says can prevent prostrate cancer in older men. (Havard published research. )To those who are anti-sexual, that should be food for thought.

bareback

Just to clarify: by married, did u mean to a women — only — or a man as well ?

Many of us, would have at some point come across the topic of sex addiction and some perhaps some even 'explored if we are one! Sex addiction is a term used to describe an alleged addiction to sex, similar to alcohol or drug addiction; the only difference here being an addiction to a process as opposed to substances. Some other process addictions including gambling, shopping, debt, codependency; and food as well which I guess, is somewhere in between a substance addiction and a process addiction. There are groups/fellowships out there that purport to help sex addicts including ones specifically tailored to meet the needs of gay sex addicts or sexual compulsives Are these people really helping gay people who need help OR just legitimizing social homophobia — into forms that look like they are trying to help (conversion therapy etc.) but are actually harming homosexuals in the long run!

yes, Thank you tallslenderguy for enumerating for us what religious fundamentalisim esp. in the US context is. Fundamentalism aka. Evangelicalism is truly a mind fuck. It distorts reality and history to forward the agenda of a tribal and capricious god, "God". Doesn't matter that the U.S. constitution does not have the word God or Church, or Jesus and the Saints in it; yet, apparently, the US constitution is really a 'christian document', establishing the "Church" over a christian America. And just to be clear, the US constitution is written in plain English and not some other language, which would justify a confusion! A truly christian thought, and I would like to add my prayer call: Amen, God speed, Our God can do miracles! May speaker Johnson become a decent human being and stop watching porn and worse, sharing this information and the desire to share this information, with his own son!! The Scripture says, it is better to marry than to burn and Speaker Johnson seems to be burning the in the flames of desire as proved by his porn struggles; and since he goes to the Bible for all the answers, and considers it the ultimate Truth, then may he get another wife, since the Prophets in the Bible, did often have more than one wife, as his present wife is not able to satisfy him. We must all turn to the Bible, the good ol' plain English Bible to answer all of the questions America and the world faces...

That is terrible. There are loads of other things to read instead of wacky political columnists, many of who seem driven more by some kind of interests or agenda. There are many book clubs, even online these days. Message me if you are interested, and more than happy to share information, as I am not sure if isn't against the rules to talk about/'advertise' other groups. There is one next Monday (20 Nov) reading the The Kingdom of Sand by Andrew Holleran.

Nothing inherently wrong with preferring quality over quantity or preferring a particular Type, as if we are honest to ourselves, most people do have a type; but if u have started developing a desire for quantity — it is all good, as well. Both are not mutually exclusive but usually have an inverse relationship. You tend to move more away from you ideal quality, when u try to increase the quantity of it. You could test-try the quantity mode and see if it is for you?