Poz Guys - Do You Like Being Poz?

[BootmanLA]

4 hours ago, bottomcumslut123 said:

I just learned I'm hiv plus.  Tbh I'm still processing it and reviewing pros and cons but I've to tell ya...the thrill of knowing that I can let my piggy slutty power bottom self go for the rest of my life is pretty incredible.   

Yes, you pretty much can (though you're likely to pick up all sorts of other bugs, which if untreated can also kill you and/or make your life miserable).

Of course if you'd gotten on PrEP before this, you could still be a "piggy slutty power bottom" and not have to deal with all the side issues of being HIV+. 

[pozriverina]

Double edged sword.... over the years meds have fucked me physically and mentally... learnt a lot about myself and others, some good, some bad...

If given the choice, definitely wouldn't be.

[hungry_hole]

On 11/19/2023 at 4:42 PM, bottomcumslut123 said:

the thrill of knowing that I can let my piggy slutty power bottom self go for the rest of my life is pretty incredible.   

I think that this used to be the case because now PrEP does the same thing. The negative aspect with both PrEP and Meds is that they only protect against HIV.

[BootmanLA]

10 hours ago, hungry_hole said:

I think that this used to be the case because now PrEP does the same thing. The negative aspect with both PrEP and Meds is that they only protect against HIV.

Right, but there's also a difference between the two: one you take to avoid infection with a virus that can kill you and even if it doesn't, it will beat the crap out of your system unless you vigilantly adhere to your treatment. The other is that treatment, trying to keep you alive.

[norefusal]

On 11/19/2023 at 8:58 PM, BootmanLA said:

Of course if you'd gotten on PrEP before this, you could still be a "piggy slutty power bottom" and not have to deal with all the side issues of being HIV+. 

im not trying to dismiss how other people feel, including myself and my bug chaser fantasy life ... but these are emotions not facts and highly flexible. 

ex: back in 1985 condoms allowed me to be "piggy slutty power bottom".

deciding that bb was a thrill was just me moving my own goal post of what defined "piggy slutty power bottom". 

once i went on prep the goal post was moved even further. 

chasing will only make me feel more piggy slutty power bottom if i choose to throw more chips on the pile and once more up the ante on what makes a "slut" a slut 

cause i gotta say, takin dick over decades from literally countless strangers seems pretty fuckin slutty 😜

[brnbk]

 

On 2/1/2011 at 11:50 PM, ruralguy7326 said:

Yup being poz is not all it's cracked up to be. Remembering to take meds on time every day is a real bitch. Keeping a look out for any opportunistic infections.

Another bitch is having to disclose my status every time then deal with a potential freak out and being made feel less than dirt. Seeing the look of horror on dentists faces alone should make you bug chasers think again.

To guys wanting to convert, I say fuckin stop and think again. Understand the full repercussions of the decision to go poz. It's not to be snifed at.

I know some others might misunderstand my question, but seeing your full response, makes me confident, that you will not. 

I am wondering if u have ever faced any kind of hostility – even horror – as a gay person, i.e. for being gay; and how would u compare that with people's response when u tell them you are poz. 

[BootmanLA]

1 hour ago, brnbk said:

I know some others might misunderstand my question, but seeing your full response, makes me confident, that you will not. 

I am wondering if u have ever faced any kind of hostility – even horror – as a gay person, i.e. for being gay; and how would u compare that with people's response when u tell them you are poz. 

The guy you're asking - the responder you quoted - was last online on this site not long after he posted that reply, back in 2011, or more than 12 years ago. I don't think he's likely to see your question. So I'll take a stab at it.

I came out (or started the process of coming out, at any rate) in the late 1970's, at a time when yes, hostility and horror were very common responses to that news, especially here in the southern United States. Certainly those who came out as poz (or who were outed as poz) in the early years of the HIV/AIDS epidemic faced both of those reactions, often from family and friends.

By the time I was diagnosed HIV-positive, in 2015, much (though not all) of that stigma had abated. There are still guys who are horrified at the thought of sex with a positive man, even if he's undetectable and can't pass on the virus - usually because they don't understand what "undetectable" means for risk or they're science-deniers who think the risk is unacceptable.

And I don't generally tell people who "don't need to know" about my HIV status, so I don't get a lot of reactions/responses from people other than acceptance/rejection over sex. 

[brnbk]

22 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

I came out (or started the process of coming out, at any rate) in the late 1970's, at a time when yes, hostility and horror were very common responses to that news, especially here in the southern United States. Certainly those who came out as poz (or who were outed as poz) in the early years of the HIV/AIDS epidemic faced both of those reactions, often from family and friends.

By the time I was diagnosed HIV-positive, in 2015, much (though not all) of that stigma had abated.

Thank you so much for responding, Bootman. I actually did wonder if the gentleman who i responded to had posted after his initial post, but the thought only occurred to me, after i had hit the Post button!  

The decline in stigma in 2015, that u mention, would u say it was for HIV, being gay or both.? 

I feel sad that anybody could be so mean, that they are horrified at the thought of sex with a poz guy. As an Asiatic guy, I usually find two groups within western homosexuality: The first  group of people who are very much into Asians and another set of western gays who seem almost horrified at the thought of having sex with an "Asian".  It is sad when gays behave in such bigoted and bullying fashion, but i guess homosexuals are subject to the same faults that straight human being are.

Much of the rejection/horror is just an act, thought , coz if u are having casual sex, then how do u know if the person is truly neg? I personally think that being gay is itself a big issue for some gay men, who come from homophobic family backgrounds and often fear that HIV would make their homophobic family and/or friends reject them more or see it as a punishment from God specially as a punishment for homosexuality, as  believed by many evangelical-fundamentalist "Christians".

 

Edited December 2, 2023 by brnbk

[JWC1202]

As a neg guy, it is interesting reading over these responses, especially on a site that lauds bug-chasing fantasy. I appreciate all the honesty here. I was not very safe as a bottom throughout the 80s, just lucky. I was never a guy who took multiple loads per night, but I was sexually active, rarely used condoms, yet remained negative, even though I had boyfriends who contracted (and, in some cases, succumbed) to AIDS. I am not terribly active these days, nor on PrEP, and I sometimes think that being + would be easier, at least sexually. But hearing about the reality of medical insurance, meds, opportunistic infections, etc. make me prefer the fantasy to the daily struggle of a poz life. Still, that toxic spooge holds an appeal, doesn't it?

[BootmanLA]

3 hours ago, brnbk said:

The decline in stigma in 2015, that u mention, would u say it was for HIV, being gay or both.? 

Both, although the stigma against being gay is vastly decreased, compared with a distinct but more moderated stigma about HIV. To this day it's not uncommon to find profiles on gay dating/hookup sites that say "disease free, u b too". There's really no way to spin that as "undetectable is ok".

 

3 hours ago, brnbk said:

Much of the rejection/horror is just an act, thought , coz if u are having casual sex, then how do u know if the person is truly neg? 

You don't, of course, which is one reason among many that such an attitude is silly. Someone who cops to being poz and undetectable is (in my opinion) most likely telling the truth - he's already getting the "strike" of being poz, so why would he lie about being infectious? Meanwhile, there are a lot of men - a LOT of men - who assume they're negative because they had a negative test five or eight or ten years ago and have never checked again. Those are the ones who are more likely to be positive, not know it, and to be infectious.

[lorak]

in my twenties, i was really scared about having sex with hiv + guys, so ended up with no sex at all for most of the time

however i changed my attitude after i had met a few  (in my 30ties) who were upfront about their status and were not bothered by it; some of them if they could would rather not have it, the others were fine with it; a lot depends on a person, but in general great people and great fuckers (great sex)

during first lockdown, i met a great guy, older than me (very early 60s), U for  15 years, very upfront about his hiv status;  very carismatic & sweet bloke; i was on prep at the time and our first sex was 'safe' till the end of the session (only anal though , he was very respectful about it

our next sessions were stricktly bb, me still on prep (got to know him better). at one point as Prep messing up with my body (does not agree with it at all) , and conversation with him and his doctor, i stopped taking it and we have been fucking like that since then, no side effects, brilliant (U=U)

sometimes i would fantisese about being converted by him, and he would immedietly bring me down saying HIV is nothing funny, and if he could, he would never wanted to get infected ; and he would never wish that upon anyone, 

i respect that.  we still fuck as crazy, sex is off the charts, sleasy as fuck. he mentioned to me that in case (or when) i get it, he still gonna fuck with me; after saying that, i lost all my reservation about having bb sex with hiv+ guys and i go crazy as i can, not olny with him (mostly U guys - according to what they said

im sitll neg, but if or when i get it my attitude and approach will change, i do not know; all i know i will have still someone to play with 🙂

 

[PozTalkAuthor]

Many topics have been talked in this discussions, many points of view, all interesting, don't know if I manage to cover them all! 

- gifting/chasing fantasies: many reasons for them, and each one makes sense for the person living it! But it's essential to understand where you want your life to go! I said it several times here: FANTASY is a thing, DESIRE is another. 

What I think is that a good sex education is essential to allow youngest people to understand what they really want! Now science (meds and PrEP) and technology (sites, forums, instant messengers) can allow us to keep our fantasies alive, even the darkest, without harming ourselves or others. 

- judgments: all of us are somehow judgmental towards ourselves or others, because we're unfortunately grown up in a somehow judgmental culture. And your way to manage judgments depends on how sure you are about yourself! Not everything can be told to everyone! 

- stigma and self-stigma: yes, everyone lives it in their own way. I was full of self-stigma due to the fact I decided to forgive my cheating ex, unaware that the damage was just matter of time. It's him who brought HIV home, it was me to feel guilty because I let him "enter my door again" in all senses of the word. That is, "you are gay and deserve HIV no matter if you were faithful". "You deserve no longer to have sex because you have those nasty gifting fantasies and you are a danger."

As someone already said, status coming-out is a no-turning-back journey and my own experience has always been "say it when you're ready".

Being "ready" means having trusted people to count on, being psychologically prepared to the idea of a potential rejection not only in sex life but also possible in friendships and partners.

I was independent, earnt my own money when I revealed it to my biological father, I didn't expect any other reaction than the one he had, that is cutting every contact with me. But it was mutual, I can't change my DNA but he's never deserved me to consider him "dad". Sperm donor is appropriate. 

So, having the support of my mother and her second husband, my twin sister and my then best friend now boyfriend, I feel and felt strong to face everything, including unpolite behavior in front of healthcare-related people being ignorant on it! Did I say "RTFM" -read the fucking manual- to the dentist? Yes, I did. And told him "I've the money, you've the service. Judge yourself who's in control". 

But strength grows with awareness and you can't face an asshole doctor/dentist if you feel stigmatized/marginalized yourself. For me HIV is no longer something to be ashamed of, it's been a long journey to achieve this awareness but I'm here and never fucking look back. 

- chasers and regretting: for all of you mentioning dentist's face or stigma or rejection or whatever else to discourage chasers, I honestly don't find this strategy so effective. 

It's not as in early 80s where people got stigmatized who knows why, now it's possible to know about stigma, meds, insurance issues where present, etc, they have PrEP in hands, and they choose the other path; everyone has their own reason, and, in some cases they also might feel they've nothing more to lose. 

Many gay men (or even boys) have been rejected by family, by school, by friends, due to their orientation, someone could say "one more rejection means nothing". Or "too much anxiety and panic for std's, at least let me decide who and when". 

I've even heard, HERE, someone saying "I'm almost at the end of my life, makes no sense to be still safe let me decide how to die at least". 

- liking/embracing to be poz? Once you are, you can't reverse the situation so you can choose if living in regret or embrace your new life in a way or the other. I've had no possibility to decide about my own health, you could blame me for not having used condoms with my ex, aware that he was a serial cheater? 

Find it yourself, how many time a monogamous partner uses condoms after having forgiven their love, for the cheat? Blame me for having had hope that it was the last and there were no consequences! 

I don't "like" to be poz, I'm not proud of the virus itself. But I'm proud of the man I've become, of the awareness I've acquired with time and experience. If I only had possibility I'd have liked to stay neg, but it's useless to look back in anger. "Don't look back in anger" that's why it's my favorite song. 

- would you like to eradicate HIV from the world? YES. Regardless of my fantasies, what I think, whatever. HIV and AIDS have been a stop to sex freedom in the whole world, many people fighting for gay right in the 70s are no longer here, AIDS has allowed the worst homophobia to come out, together with millions of victims and suffering it caused. Should I continue? Inappropriate, I think. 

Last but not least, what I think about it all? Want to solve problems of people searching for HIV deliberately? First eradicate homophobia, serophobia, never make a person feel judged or marginalized, give everyone a reason to love and be loved. 

Bye and sorry for the too long post. 

 

[bbversapozzguy]

On 6/10/2014 at 2:26 AM, evilqueerpig said:

I've always lived my life on my own terms and that means I've NEVER had a condom on/in me, so becoming poz was inevitable. I embrace my poz status as a symbol of my personal freedom and I love being poz because the poz community is full of the most wonderful men.

yess me too

[bbversapozzguy]

On 11/1/2017 at 3:11 AM, fisterm8 said:

would love your loads in me..........all poz guys should be proud and im happy you are too.

yess poz and proud

[alexfuck99]

I'm proud to be a poz barebacker. I'm proud of other poz guys because sex is not just about orgasm, it's about cumdumping, about mixing cum on groups.

Sex clubs and darkrooms are significant  part of gay culture. Everyone fucked bareback before HIV but in 80's and 90's they were about to close. Sex clubs were saved by barebackers who refused to use condoms. Mostly all of them were or became poz. They developed sex club culture and now it is available for everyone