Rejection... How Did You Get Over It?

[Guest Descartes70817]

On March 2, 2020 at 1:46 PM, POZitiveBoyZ said:

You know, some guys (especially the Tops, especially the “Musc Alfa”) are too sensitive to get “No” by the Bottoms LoL This short word is too offensive for them. Cuz they are thought that only they themselves could have the rights to reject everyone’s around them. And when they’re getting the same treatment methods and the same asshole’s behavior from others then all of their “masculinity” is passed out and they’re getting the Cognitive Dissonance LoL And this is perfectly showing how much fragile their “man dominance and authority” and that their “masculinity” means absolutely nothing. Cuz if the “real man” can’t take “No” and behave like a lil girl then he lose his balls. And this is too fun to see all of these Tops frustrations LoL And I can quite understand why this happened to them. Because of the huge fears of being unwanted and rejected by the many Bottoms. Fears of experiencing the same issues as they are prefer to give to the Bottoms LoL And finally, they’re scared too much of being a loosers. Cuz they’re actually can’t work hard and good. But honestly they knows about the level they have to get to give their Bottoms a really good fuck. But they can’t do that LoL Especially if we’re talking about how many of the Tops are a fake Tops. Cuz most of them can’t get their dicks hard. Because if the T&G LoL Do not thank me LoL I know I'm a fucking Bitch and a really nutty Bitch LoL 

Once the word gets out about a top his future is pretty much set in stone. If he's giving pleasure while taking his he's going to get more action, but if he's done in a few thrusts who needs that, unless a bottom is looking to maximize loads in an evening. Appearance just makes the initial attraction if nobody knows your history, but no matter how good looking a top is as soon as everyone knows he's a lousy fuck he is going to be rejected a lot. On the other hand the ugly top who's great in bed is going to get a lot more action.

The same is true of bottoms, too. If a bottom is just a passive fuckhole or so frenetic it's a struggle to fuck him, he's not going to get a good reputation and he's going to get rejected more often once the word gets around.

I know girls talk among their friend about their boyfriends far more eopenly than you can imagine - it certainly happened to me with my first girlfriend/fiancée. I had no idea how much of what I did with her was common knowledge among her friends until I split up with her and several of her friends started hitting on me, as well as telling me they wanted to do X, Y and Z with me after hearing how much the girlfriend enjoyed it! I have very little doubt that bottoms are no different.

Edited March 3, 2020 by Descartes70817

[evilalex]

Sometimes it's tempting for me with withdraw. I have a habit of isolating myself socially, and I genuinely like spending time with myself. 

[Read1]

And the young men too will age just like us older men. And they will experience rejection; it’s cyclical. Not to dwell on it. But always a better time and day/night to enjoy cock and cum. Chin up, best foot forward, or tongue on cock or in hole!!! 🐷 

[garsento]

No one is ever going to get a universally successful hit rate. Why be overly upset if you cannot get everyone, or even a particular someone?

Is it possible that you have a particular problem? Sure, anything is possible.

[hungry_hole]

Older guys will get rejected because many young guys don't like older guys. I didn't when I was young and it was annoying when older guys insisted, so I completely understand and I never chase a young guy unless he initiates. But there are really hot guys who still get rejected for many reasons, like for instance, if they remind you of a guy you know and it's then a turn-off.

[find91]

On 5/2/2015 at 9:15 AM, CashSpreadem said:

So my Partner and I have been together a long time and from the beginning we knew we wanted to have sex with other people together. Started out with threesomes and then progressed to video arcades. I have tried to get him to loosen up and enjoy trips to the bathhouses but it has never worked. We are currently spending a lot of time outside the US and we can't host there are also no arcades.. the closes things are some Ciber's  (internet cafe's) but they are more like giant semi dark rooms depending on the time of day you go.  We checked one out last night only to have another fail when one guy rejected my partners advances and then decided to add more of a dick to it by telling him everyone will be waiting in line to use me (Like that would be a bad thing) 

I don't get upset over being rejected I figure for every guy that doesn't want to have sex with me there is another that does.... but how did you get over the rejections?

That dude was a dick and wanted to stir up shit between you and your bf. I see this type of behavior among gay men a lot. They not only reject but they have to twist the knife deeper to cause damage and pain due to their own lack of esteem, pire and jealousy.

One thing your bf has to remember is that not everyone will be into you and that is ok. As the same you aren't into everyone. Where the difficulty stems from if you belong to an outlier group, being too fem, over weight, older than 40, you don't fit a certain category like twinks, bear, jock; not having 6 or 12 pack; being attracted to different body types; acting first like a human being and not some homo caricature. Those people get rejected so often it's easy to become jaded and bitter.

He just needs to divert his mind from a bit and focus on what makes him a good guy.

Have you both thought about cruising separate? Your look my attract a certain type of guy, while his another.

Also have a backup plan to when you cruise, so in case it's a bust you both can have some sexy alone time.

[Guest Reeo]

On 3/2/2020 at 10:52 AM, coastalbender said:

So many cocks, so little time. That's how I get over it. There will always be another cock wanting to blow inside me.

Exactly!

On to the next cock 😉

[Guest]

I am getting older, and  starting to experience, not always having a successful day at my favorite venues, for meeting other men.

What I have been doing, lately, is wearing some athletic gear that might appeal to another guy's fetish. Most often I wear a cobalt blue 2(X)ISt jockstrap to the bathes, or a Heather Grey Calvin Klein thong, to some nude beaches I go to.

[Guest]

19 minutes ago, 90PercentStr8 said:

I am getting older, and  starting to experience, not always having a successful day at my favorite venues, for meeting other men.

What I have been doing, lately, is wearing some athletic gear that might appeal to another guy's fetish. Most often I wear a cobalt blue 2(X)ISt jockstrap to the bathes, or a Heather Grey Calvin Klein thong, to some nude beaches I go to.

you make the perfect choice for your undies  , jockstrap and thong : the best ; kisses

[PozTalkAuthor]

Rejection is something anyone of us has to deal with, it's not the end of the world! Of course if you count on that person -hoping for love- it can hurt you, no doubt on this. Honestly, recently it's me who refused others for any reason but the only condition is NOT to be rude, unless the other is rude towards you. Latest person I have rejected is one of my ex-partner's fuckbuddies. He had sex with my ex but when he approached me he wanted to discuss status: "because if you're poz, know that I don't get fucked by HIV people even if they're undetectable". And my answer was ready: "remember that my status is not your business, but I don't fuck serophobic people. Even if they're the most handsome. Take a dildo and fuck yourself". 

[BlackDude]

On 3/5/2020 at 10:36 AM, find91 said:

That dude was a dick and wanted to stir up shit between you and your bf. I see this type of behavior among gay men a lot. They not only reject but they have to twist the knife deeper to cause damage and pain due to their own lack of esteem, pire and jealousy.

One thing your bf has to remember is that not everyone will be into you and that is ok. As the same you aren't into everyone. Where the difficulty stems from if you belong to an outlier group, being too fem, over weight, older than 40, you don't fit a certain category like twinks, bear, jock; not having 6 or 12 pack; being attracted to different body types; acting first like a human being and not some homo caricature. Those people get rejected so often it's easy to become jaded and bitter.

He just needs to divert his mind from a bit and focus on what makes him a good guy.

Have you both thought about cruising separate? Your look my attract a certain type of guy, while his another.

Also have a backup plan to when you cruise, so in case it's a bust you both can have some sexy alone time.

You spoke 100% truth. A lot of these dudes now were raised by angry single mothers, and they have that same, messy mentality. 
 

I also add if you’re in an interracial relationship, the games and the rabbit hole gets deeper when it comes to being open. 

[tallslenderguy]

On 5/2/2015 at 6:15 AM, CashSpreadem said:

I don't get upset over being rejected I figure for every guy that doesn't want to have sex with me there is another that does.... but how did you get over the rejections?

i think this is a great topic for discussion. i'm convinced that the need for love is a common thread that binds all humans together (bear with me lol). i think one of the primary components of "love" is the need/desire to be 'seen' and 'heard," then valued and affirmed. i think this is an underlying emotional drive we guys have  and a lot of men use sex to try and meet that need/desire for "love" (using that basic definition).  

Most guys grow up culturally conditioned against emotion. The stereotype is: "men are rational, women are emotional."  i think in some ways that becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, but not a reflection of reality. i worked in the male dominated executive corporate world for most of my life, and i have seen a lot of emotional decisions desguised by rationale. i think a lot of the conditioning we receive against feeling/emotions does not make us any less emotional, but leaves us at a disadvantage. I.e., we have feelings and need to be aware and learn how to live with them, not deny or cover them up.  

Telling our self stuff like: "there are plenty of other guys out there," or "everyone has different tastes" is true, but it doesn't change the sting of feeling rejected, that basic need we all have to be seen, heard, affirmed, valued.  

i think one of the things gay guys have figured out as a work around is anonymous sex venues like arcades with glory holes and dark rooms, as an example. We remove the visual element that so often is associated with acceptance or rejection. In a (true) dark room, you cannot tell things like age or 'beauty.'  i'm not visually attracted to certain 'types' (who the hell knows why?), but i have been bred by more of those 'types' than i can count by being face down and blindfolded lol. I've even developed deep affection for FB's that i can sort of sense by feel that i would not find attractive visually, but because i never saw them, that was not a factor and i was able to experience other parts of them that i did find emotionally attractive, along with the sex. 

i rejected my self for much of my life. Like so many or us, i grew up in a (religious i my case) culture that conditioned me to reject who and how i am. But my self rejection did not change the fact of who and how i am, or the needs and desires that accompanied that. my coping mechanism was anonymous sex. i think that's true about a lot of us. i don't think it's necessarily ideal, but it worked and kept a part of me alive that would have suffered a lot more had i not had it. 

 

[Davidc]

Hmm I’m sure the quote should be “So little cocks , so many times “ ?

 

Its a numbers game , just move on and don’t let them live rent free in your head.