Mind Fuck - The Mental Side Of Sex

[atlfukbud]

I was talking to a fuckbuddy during lunch today -- a smoking hot black stud with over 10 thick inches of cock. When we met over a decase ago, he was a total top or at least 90% of the time (and I happily rode and got bred by that magnificant cock several times each weeek for years); today, however it's almost the reverse...he prefers to bottom. I asked him if what goes through his head changes depending on whether he is topping or bottoming -- like me, he has a high pressure, high profile job and gets off on the unique feelings associated with "giving up control" in the bedroom...or switching from dominant at work to submissive sexually. He also thinks a lot about the CUM that his top will be depositing inside him and that turns him on in a big way. I tend to think about the awesome physical sensations of sex, whether topping or bottoming. Similarly, my (mostly top) partner gets hard when he feels in-control in bed -- even when he bottoms, he wants to be in charge...and do the riding, control the pace, etc.

 

So, I'm curious to learn about what others think about during the actual act of sex---when fucking and breeding what are you focused on mentally -- what's running through your brain?

[cam1972]

The element of giving up control to the top is definitely forefront in my mind. Watching his masculine body overtake mine is a phenomenal mind fuck. But... The thing that always gets me is that he is inside me. Connected. Two men connected by his cock and my hole. There's no getting closer, physically. One man inside another. Even if it's a rough fuck, it's still an intimate act. And getting his load? Definitely what I'm needing in the end. Sex is so much more than physical for me. It's an emotional and mental act as well. An act I enjoy very much.

[TigerMilner]

I agree 100% with what Cam1972 said. I get off on knowing he is inside me. The physical submission is hot but there is most definitely a mental submission that goes along with it. And yes, I want it to end with him cumming side me.  I too have a fuck buddy that has been around for years. Saturday night he was being really dominant, and because he knows me so well he knows how to push my buttons. He started teasing me that if I didn't do as instructed, he would use a condom on me. Not withhold the dick, but with hold the load. I don't know why, but it turned me on. Mostly because it was him mind fucking me. I don't know how I would have felt if he had actually used the condom, but then again, I behaved as told. I didn't want to find out.

[BiGeekySlut]

For me, i like being a bttm compared to a top precisely like the op said from his friend: always in control. Im the most stable, planning, depended on person in my circle of friends, i work hard and im a perfectionist. So letting someone else be in control helps me out. Major turn on. Plus parTying tends to push those yearnings further, which i prefer.

[Guest ff-whole]

Wow, thanks for the great topic...

I never realized...

In live I am an IT project and process manager and very dominant, also outside work I act very dominant but in bed with men or women, I want to be dominated... As a male bottom with men I want to feel being used like a slut and filled in my hole... I kind of like to feel submissive but in reality still be in control how I am used... never the less, moved around and one after the other big dick inserted into my ass without stopping and relentlessly fucked and filled with cum...

If the tops want to fill me me with two dicks in my ass or want to fist me I would let them...

Great feeling...

Anybody in the neighborhood? 

[RawLeather]

I have to agree with the original post. In my previous job I had a high stress management position and outside of work, making a decision is the last thing I wanted to do. I prefer to just bend over and let any top have his way with me. The thought and feeling of his cock is inside of me is like no other. Receiving his seed is the ultimate and his gift to me by letting him take control of me.

[00Felix]

I like the idea that a guy wants my load in him and he wants it bad enough to do something risky.  And if I am out some place with a guy I have bred and I know that my cum is still in his ass, that is totally hot.

[atlfukbud]

00Felix -- hot response, when I top, I also like it when it's obvious the guy wants my cock and cum -- while a bit submissive and letting me lead, he is aggressive in telling and SHOWING me he wants it -- via his active engagement (sucking, kissing, moaning, eye contact, etc.) -- I also LUV it when the guy keeps my load inside him as long as possible.

[00Felix]

Hey Atlfuckbud, I like the ones who want it bad as soon as we starting chatting.  But sometimes a guy wants a condom and when I hold out and say there's no dick for him, and then he gives in--that's hot hot hot. If I can get an uptight guy to take my load, its awesome!

[nelliess]

For me it's about the intimacy of skin on skin, and knowing that the guy I'm with is sharing part of himself with me. He might just see me as a cumdump and I find that hot in itself. I also like it when there's no discussion that its gonna be bare, no thought of a condom.

[atlfukbud]

Good points nelliess -- I honestly can't recall the last time someone asked me to use a condom -- it's literally been 4 or 5 years. I simply assume sex will be bare and include breeding.

 

I also talked with another top pal today -- He's sexy, 49 and bi -- married with 2 kids; he says he and his wife have great sex, but finds men more in tune with their inner whore and more willing to do whatever feels good in the moment. He really gets off on semi-public (outdoor) sex and men who will beg for his load. (interestingly his wife has always know he's bi and now that he's on PrEP always barebacks)...he likes to think that each guy will have a little of his DNA in them for the rest of their lives...laughingly said he wants to plant his daddy seed in 1,000 hot holes by the time he's 65 -- and I bet he will!

[subbytch]

It's the mind part that's the bitch. 

 

I have to somehow feel some kind of connection with the person, physical, mental, or both, in order to get to that head-space. Parts on their own don't do it. Sex clubs on their own don't do it. 

Finding people to mesh with is an ongoing process, one I don't know how to shortcut. 

I'm quite a bit envious of people that are able to throw their legs up and be a bitch for just anyone.

Edited September 8, 2015 by subbytch

[cam1972]

It's the mind part that's the bitch. 

 

I have to somehow feel some kind of connection with the person, physical, mental, or both, in order to get to that head-space. Parts on their own don't do it. Sex clubs on their own don't do it. 

Finding people to mesh with is an ongoing process, one I don't know how to shortcut. 

I'm quite a bit envious of people that are able to throw their legs up and be a bitch for just anyone.

Couldn't have said it better. Exactly how I feel. Can be really frustrating. I am envious too.

[Bttm2go]

I like to be in control with just about everything I do. So when I bottom, I turn control over to him to use me however he likes. It's all about pleasing him. Giving up control is really hot for me. The best is when I am a totally submissive slut.

[SugarWalls]

I agree with the O.P. and with most of the responses too---for me, it is always about the mind-engagement! I too have a high profile and stressful job in my industry, so to let go and give up control in my sexual life to a Top (or even to an aggressive Bottom) is bliss! 

 

I also admit to envy of those "no load refused bottoms" but know completely that I need a connection, otherwise there's a serious disconnect that I simply cannot overcome. To each their own!