Tell Me Your Thoughts On Hookup Sites/Apps & Finding Sex

[NWUSHorny]

@chipygmalion80 ironically I have a lot better luck when I travel to the rural Midwest, than I do trying to hookup in the cities of the PNW, i.e Portland,  Seattle and Vancouver, BC. To be fair I am a Midwest native and learned to cruise there, but I have cracked the local code in most of North America, but haven't here despite living here for 18 years. Luckily I work all over North America.

Edited October 27, 2025 by NWUSHorny

[BBBxCumDumpster]

On 11/21/2017 at 2:05 AM, PhoenixGeoff said:

I don't do the hookup sites and apps much at all these days because of my frustration with them. 

1) There's the "Facebook FOMO" effect they encourage.  They put out this idea that all of this sex is happening out there except for you.  The reality is that no-one is probably hooking up online as much as you think they are.  But because you think it's happening, the whole thing seems to end up making you frustrated.  This site kinda does it too (everyone posts about their hot hookup, no-one posts about the other nights sitting at home watching TV).  In fact, I don't think there's a way of solving this problem except to shut down the sex sites and the internet altogether, which I've been doing more and more lately.

2) Hookup sites and apps, especially those geared towards barebacking, seem infested with drug use.  Which isn't a problem if that's your thing.  And maybe that's where the money is to be made, in which case, cater to the partiers like Nasty Kink Pigs does.  But that's a really annoying thing for people who don't do drugs, and that's a really dangerous thing for people like me, who have had drug problems that we're battling.  Plus, no judgment, but many people who party will lie about their drug use if it will get them laid.  So self reporting is not sufficient.  So I stay away.  I'm not sure how you fix that either.

3) People use hookup sites for more than hooking up.  Starting with fantasies and masturbation fodder.  Or they might be thinking about hooking up, but maybe just going to bed also sounds good.  In other words, how do you ensure that everyone online is actually ready and willing to have sex?  Again, BBRT and other sites try to do this by flagging a status, but, again, people are really crappy at self-reporting.

4) All of the sites have a habit of leaving people logged in for a long time after they're actually gone IRL.  The sites benefit by being able to inflate their "active" figures, and the users like it because, even if someone messaged them hours ago while they were gone, they still get that little dopamine hit of attention being paid.  But for messengers, it leads to questions of "Is this guy blowing me off?  Or is he just away?"  Plus, people online will just leave conversations abruptly in a way that would be completely rude in real life.  The conversation will be going great and you're getting ready to head out, then *poof* he vanishes.  What happened?  Who can say? 

5) Liars generally.  Not naming names, but I happen to know people who have not updated their pics on BBRT in over 15 years.  Or there's the cousin of liars:  marketing.  Morbidly obese men giving themselves "linebacker builds."  "Boys" who are old enough to be grandfathers.  Pictures taken through so much vaseline on the lens and artistic mood lighting and photoshopping that it's sometimes hard to tell if you're supposed to be fucking an actual human.  Not to mention guys who have be 35 for at least the last two decades.

How do you fix all this?  I've got no fucking clue.  For a while I thought some kind of review system might help, but the reality is that that would rapidly turn into a raging morass of bitchy queens all throwing shade like rampaging divas.  Although maybe a way of sending someone a private anonymous message might give someone the opportunity to give a gentle nudge to correct some shady behavior.

So my current solution is this:  I go out.  I meet people.  I go to sex parties (carefully selected, where I know that drugs aren't welcome...again, that's my weakness so no judgment if that's your thing).  I do things like game nights and having people over to dinner and hiking and so forth and that often turns into FWB.  Which is a lot healthier.

The internet promises us that you can do human relationships more efficiently, like ordering a book from Amazon.  Up 'til now, that has proven to be a lie, albeit a seductive one.  I doubt it'll ever be as good as the real thing, although, sadly, enough people may find it to be "good enough."  I've known people on FB (which I have also quit outright) who are like that.  But if you think you can get it right, then more power to you.

Good luck!

You nailed this one. These are the many reasons I got off the apps years ago.  I survive on word of mouth, FWBs and impromptu street cruising. Going out to get dog treats for my dog is a much better source of sex, without the old sepia profile pic, canned bullshit, drug fiends searching for a fix or loot, rehearsed arias and shows that should have closed years ago. Don't miss it 

[Bymike]

I’m 70, with the explosion of the internet years ago was the birth of many sex sites of all kinds. No matter what you were looking for, what kind of fun you were looking for, it was there. Most of the free sites are gone it taken over. And if you don’t have a large number of folks of all ages in your area, it’s a waste.  My opinion, just me and the sexual experience I’ve had, nothing will ever replace the old AOL chat rooms. AOL became a big social site, way before FB and other media sites. It was broken down into major cities, states, countries. You get on a look for a chat room that fits you.  In a NY, you would see   NYM4M,  NYBMM4BMM and so on. In my city when I was in my late 20’s, 30’s, I met many > REAL < people in those chat rooms, who took the time to chat, feel each other and could take several days, even weeks and if you were all invested and patience, you would meet and the fun and relations started. You don’t see that anymore, they want it right now, limited conversations or your talking to an unknown bull shit artist.  It’s all changed for the worst.

[Pozguyinchi]

I recently went back to bbrt after a few years off. I’m very surprised at the amount of neg guys on there. I also am shocked to have had several guys say they don’t play with Poz.  The only responses I have had are from neg boys wanting me to find them a Poz top. I will stay on the site but probably only use it when I travel. 

[PozBearWI]

@Pozguyinchi I have much the same experience.  And odd as poz guys on meds are our safest playmates.

[evilcoyote]

On 1/2/2026 at 11:12 AM, Pozguyinchi said:

I recently went back to bbrt after a few years off. I’m very surprised at the amount of neg guys on there. I also am shocked to have had several guys say they don’t play with Poz.  The only responses I have had are from neg boys wanting me to find them a Poz top. I will stay on the site but probably only use it when I travel. 

I was recently seeking out "gives loads in ass"  & "positive" for a city I haven't been to since 2019 and I was surprised at the lack of people now. Then I started running this on other cities like Berlin. It seems like the number has fallen. 

I love getting fucked by poz guys no matter the viral load. 

[Pozguyinchi]

7 hours ago, evilcoyote said:

I was recently seeking out "gives loads in ass"  & "positive" for a city I haven't been to since 2019 and I was surprised at the lack of people now. Then I started running this on other cities like Berlin. It seems like the number has fallen. 

I love getting fucked by poz guys no matter the viral load. 

I have even noticed Sniffies thinned out in my area. I don’t get the responses I used to. I was also on bbrt the other day and a guy said he wouldn’t play with me because I was Poz. I thought that’s what the whole site was about? Being Poz and playing with like minded and excepting men. 

[PozBearWI]

2 hours ago, Pozguyinchi said:

I have even noticed Sniffies thinned out in my area. I don’t get the responses I used to. I was also on bbrt the other day and a guy said he wouldn’t play with me because I was Poz. I thought that’s what the whole site was about? Being Poz and playing with like minded and excepting men. 

And adding to the whole "stump the chump" reasoning; poz guy on meds is least likely to infect someone with HIV.  Those rejecting us are increasing their overall risk of infection.  

[Spermchute]

10 hours ago, evilcoyote said:

I was recently seeking out "gives loads in ass"  & "positive" for a city I haven't been to since 2019 and I was surprised at the lack of people now. Then I started running this on other cities like Berlin. It seems like the number has fallen. 

I love getting fucked by poz guys no matter the viral load. 

ALL I want  is  the POZ loads now 

[bareback-flipflop]

Meh 

these many under educated people in the age of Prep and doxy PEP. 
 

Being someone poz should only matter for anyone if he wants to get pozzed.

[PozBearWI]

17 minutes ago, bareback-flipflop said:

Meh 

these many under educated people in the age of Prep and doxy PEP. 
 

Being someone poz should only matter for anyone if he wants to get pozzed.

And even then, if the poz guy wants to risk his own health, he will have to take a med holiday for several weeks to build up a viral load.  

[hntnhole]

Interestingly, although this post is almost 9 years old now, the answers seem to be remarkably similar.  

Most of us have figured out that the fuckapps are fading in viability, and the guys that don't live in/near a major metro area are suffering for it.  I read posts / replies about how lucky a guy feels that an assignation actually did work out, and I feel sorry for guys that have nothing but the fuckapps to depend on for sex.  

Frankly, BZ is the closest thing to a *real* cruise-app than the old ones are these days.  

[bareback-flipflop]

If I would have to have sex only with the help of a fuckapp (let me steal it @hntnhole, because I never heard it and really like it) I would be virgin (again). 😂

I had more than 20 conversations in the last week on these apps but I had sex only with guys I know independently, while I live in almost the middle of our metro area. 
Sorry for accusing anyone without basic but my impression is that the majority uses these apps for jerking off materials. 

[evilcoyote]

5 hours ago, bareback-flipflop said:

If I would have to have sex only with the help of a fuckapp (let me steal it @hntnhole, because I never heard it and really like it) I would be virgin (again). 😂

I had more than 20 conversations in the last week on these apps but I had sex only with guys I know independently, while I live in almost the middle of our metro area. 
Sorry for accusing anyone without basic but my impression is that the majority uses these apps for jerking off materials. 

I absolutely agree with you that people are using as jerk off material. That's why I don't keep chatting with them. 

[NLbear]

They are hardly for hookups anymore. Not at my age. But the young stud who is keeping my hole VERY happy I met through a friend. He can't have sex anymore and his young stud 'transferred' to me. But I met the friend through one of the apps. He is/was a bottom too but we hit it off and had fun chatting before we met in person. He invited me to Dad/Son sex parties and introduced me to his young virile friend who had no problem fucking us both.