Tell Me Your Thoughts On Hookup Sites/Apps & Finding Sex

[NWUSHorny]

@chipygmalion80 ironically I have a lot better luck when I travel to the rural Midwest, than I do trying to hookup in the cities of the PNW, i.e Portland,  Seattle and Vancouver, BC. To be fair I am a Midwest native and learned to cruise there, but I have cracked the local code in most of North America, but haven't here despite living here for 18 years. Luckily I work all over North America.

Edited 15 hours ago by NWUSHorny

[BBBxCumDumpster]

On 11/21/2017 at 2:05 AM, PhoenixGeoff said:

I don't do the hookup sites and apps much at all these days because of my frustration with them. 

1) There's the "Facebook FOMO" effect they encourage.  They put out this idea that all of this sex is happening out there except for you.  The reality is that no-one is probably hooking up online as much as you think they are.  But because you think it's happening, the whole thing seems to end up making you frustrated.  This site kinda does it too (everyone posts about their hot hookup, no-one posts about the other nights sitting at home watching TV).  In fact, I don't think there's a way of solving this problem except to shut down the sex sites and the internet altogether, which I've been doing more and more lately.

2) Hookup sites and apps, especially those geared towards barebacking, seem infested with drug use.  Which isn't a problem if that's your thing.  And maybe that's where the money is to be made, in which case, cater to the partiers like Nasty Kink Pigs does.  But that's a really annoying thing for people who don't do drugs, and that's a really dangerous thing for people like me, who have had drug problems that we're battling.  Plus, no judgment, but many people who party will lie about their drug use if it will get them laid.  So self reporting is not sufficient.  So I stay away.  I'm not sure how you fix that either.

3) People use hookup sites for more than hooking up.  Starting with fantasies and masturbation fodder.  Or they might be thinking about hooking up, but maybe just going to bed also sounds good.  In other words, how do you ensure that everyone online is actually ready and willing to have sex?  Again, BBRT and other sites try to do this by flagging a status, but, again, people are really crappy at self-reporting.

4) All of the sites have a habit of leaving people logged in for a long time after they're actually gone IRL.  The sites benefit by being able to inflate their "active" figures, and the users like it because, even if someone messaged them hours ago while they were gone, they still get that little dopamine hit of attention being paid.  But for messengers, it leads to questions of "Is this guy blowing me off?  Or is he just away?"  Plus, people online will just leave conversations abruptly in a way that would be completely rude in real life.  The conversation will be going great and you're getting ready to head out, then *poof* he vanishes.  What happened?  Who can say? 

5) Liars generally.  Not naming names, but I happen to know people who have not updated their pics on BBRT in over 15 years.  Or there's the cousin of liars:  marketing.  Morbidly obese men giving themselves "linebacker builds."  "Boys" who are old enough to be grandfathers.  Pictures taken through so much vaseline on the lens and artistic mood lighting and photoshopping that it's sometimes hard to tell if you're supposed to be fucking an actual human.  Not to mention guys who have be 35 for at least the last two decades.

How do you fix all this?  I've got no fucking clue.  For a while I thought some kind of review system might help, but the reality is that that would rapidly turn into a raging morass of bitchy queens all throwing shade like rampaging divas.  Although maybe a way of sending someone a private anonymous message might give someone the opportunity to give a gentle nudge to correct some shady behavior.

So my current solution is this:  I go out.  I meet people.  I go to sex parties (carefully selected, where I know that drugs aren't welcome...again, that's my weakness so no judgment if that's your thing).  I do things like game nights and having people over to dinner and hiking and so forth and that often turns into FWB.  Which is a lot healthier.

The internet promises us that you can do human relationships more efficiently, like ordering a book from Amazon.  Up 'til now, that has proven to be a lie, albeit a seductive one.  I doubt it'll ever be as good as the real thing, although, sadly, enough people may find it to be "good enough."  I've known people on FB (which I have also quit outright) who are like that.  But if you think you can get it right, then more power to you.

Good luck!

You nailed this one. These are the many reasons I got off the apps years ago.  I survive on word of mouth, FWBs and impromptu street cruising. Going out to get dog treats for my dog is a much better source of sex, without the old sepia profile pic, canned bullshit, drug fiends searching for a fix or loot, rehearsed arias and shows that should have closed years ago. Don't miss it