anonymous hook up vs interaction

[tallslenderguy]

Ive been hooking with guys for 34 years. I've been with well over a 1000 men sexually, but had never slept overnight with a guy till this year. Not that i have never gotten to know guys that i have sex with, but the vast majority of my sexploits have been anonymous. I started out when still married, hooking in restrooms through GH's and under stall walls. It wasn't that i preferred it, but i was closeted and on the DL, so just worked out that way. Even after divorcing though, i find most of my sex has been anonymous.  My favorite is anonymous walk in where i am lying face down and never even see the top who breeds me and he only sees my back. I've even had regular fuck buddies who i have never seen. 

Sex with men has been very separate from social interaction, a huge difference from what straight people mostly have where sex is part of a complex social agreement. 

[Guest Upstateguy518]

It’s just easier for me to keep things anonymous and go straight to fucking. I don’t need names or details. If I wanna fuck, Lets fuck. If I wanna suck some cock, Let me suck some cock. Guys are making it too damn complicated now a days. We need to go back to the simple way - Do you wanna fuck? Yes or no.

[NLbear]

Nowadays the first time is always anonymous. If he becomes a regular you learn a little bit more about each other (and it's not really anon anymore) but we never socialize in public or go out on dates like straights may do (if those even start with sex first and socializing later, probably the other way around).

When I was a student and went to (gay or mixed) dance clubs or bars it was social interaction first (trying to pick up the trick of the evening). Didn't stop me from going to the cruising park for anon dick afterwards though. The danger and rush of excitement doing that was hard to beat. It has happened that I bumped into guys in a dance club who had banged me in the park. If we both hadn't 'scored' by the end of the evening we both knew the other was in for NSA 'easy sex' and end up either at his or my place or we would meet in the park later.

[Guest manfun456]

I just love it anonymous. We know nothing about each other, but you've had your raw dick inside me and I've taken your load. That's intimate. 

[hungry_hole]

I've always preferred anon sex over any other kind. I started having sex with guys at the YMCA/NYC dormitories and then continued in bathhouses.

The problem with anon sex is it's reputation which is why I like the piece by SafestSex.org on anon sex. It presents anon sex as a normal need (http://safestsex.org/aboutmen-en.php) that men have and I like that. Most sexologists keep talking about "healthy sexuality" which excludes anon sex.

I'm now convinced that men can make great friends but after having anon sex. First have anon sex, repeat it if both like it, and then if interested they can meet and have a great relationship. Instead of meeting first for coffee.

[WolfinSheepsClothing]

totally agree with Hungry Hole, lets fuck first, see if we connect on the sexual level, then we can have coffee and maybe become Friends with Benefits.  but sex is first for me, specially if I find you attractive.  one of my best friends started out as a fuck buddy, but we realized that we both preferred topping too much and since he only did one on one, we just stayed friends and have been great friends for years now.

[fucknfeedme]

Anonymous for me as well.  Nothing makes my tight furry hole twitch more than not knowing who is fucking me.  Give me a dark room any day.

BBRT- fucknfeedme

[shinelover]

I've got to go with anonymous, too. When I was younger, naïve and innocent and still insisting on condoms, then I felt the need to meet up with guys first. But I think that was more because society seems to dictate you get to know someone before fucking around with them.

And then all it takes is that one load up your ass and all of the rules go out the window. Now, when a guy suggests meeting up first to talk or coffee or whatever, my interest disintegrates. I would rather just bend over, take whoever's dick and load, and get on with it. Don't need names or your life story -just your cock and seed.

[tallslenderguy]

 

 

20 minutes ago, shinelover said:

But I think that was more because society seems to dictate you get to know someone before fucking around with them.

I think this is true.  Though things are changing, social standards are set by the straight majority. One could argue for monogamy and relationship with sex if the goal is to build an environment to raise kids (though i think one can argue against it too). But how does that argument apply to single or gay people who don't have kids?

The only issue i can see with anonymous sex is STD, but i do not think monogamy is the answer to STD's. I think removing the stigma associated with sex is the answer. If people were not shamed for having sex, they would not feel embarrassed or ashamed about getting treated for STD's.  

[barecubtop]

I agree with those who have posted before.  I'd rather the first time be an anonymous or otherwise "straight to sex" encounter than a date.  I often find that the more I get to know someone, the less I'm physically attracted to them.  So, having sex first works for me.  I've had several guys turn into good friends as a result of fooling around and THEN getting to know each other and realizing that we're better friends than lovers.  Of course, this is problematic when I think about dating (in the heteronormative sense), since I want to get to know someone on a deeper level to date them, but I also want the sexual desire to be kept at a high level.  It's something I'm working on figuring out. 

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

The only issue i can see with anonymous sex is STD, but i do not think monogamy is the answer to STD's. I think removing the stigma associated with sex is the answer. If people were not shamed for having sex, they would not feel embarrassed or ashamed about getting treated for STD's.  

I agree, monogamy isn't an answer to STDs, and removing sexual stigma is a good thing to work towards.  I think a big factor in the stigma is sexual health education.  In the US, it's crazy that there is no common curriculum for how to teach sex ed.  I didn't grow up here in Indiana, but I've heard from other students here on campus that some of them had "abstinence-only" sex ed while others were focused only on condom use while others didn't get any formal sex ed at all, etc... In talking to local (rural, small-town) guys on Grindr, the sex education ignorance is very obvious.  I've been shamed for telling people that I had an STI and got treated for it....it should be the opposite.  We should be open and proud about being tested and taking care of our bodies, not shamed.  (I realize there will be some on here that disagree with this, but this is my own personal view on this issue.)

 

[tallslenderguy]

1 hour ago, barecubtop said:

 

 I've been shamed for telling people that I had an STI and got treated for it....it should be the opposite.  We should be open and proud about being tested and taking care of our bodies, not shamed.  (I realize there will be some on here that disagree with this, but this is my own personal view on this issue.)

 

I agree and think it's great. I'm a healthcare worker and know that ignoring treatment can put one in a state of deteriorated health the the point they are dependent on others to care for them. I don't ever want to get to that place if i can help it, i cherish my freedom and independence. 

[Guest Raxi Starbeam]

On 11/11/2017 at 3:23 PM, Upstateguy518 said:

It’s just easier for me to keep things anonymous and go straight to fucking. I don’t need names or details. If I wanna fuck, Lets fuck. If I wanna suck some cock, Let me suck some cock. Guys are making it too damn complicated now a days. We need to go back to the simple way - Do you wanna fuck? Yes or no.

I agree with Upstateguy518:

I send out posts and messages and ads everywhere I can that I am taking all loads with anon sex being the main point. I'll do some interaction with my regular fuck buds, and sometimes with new guys if the chemistry is right. It usually starts with asking me general questions like age, stats, status. I understand not everyone loves poz loads the way I do and want to know what they are putting their dick into. But after that, it gets too complicated where they want very specific details that takes too damn long to write about, when either one of us could be on the way over to get fucked/fuck. People are smart about their health, but I feel men start griefing others about taking it raw or drawing it on and on with endless emails. 

I wan't a load. You want to cum. Wrapped or not, let's get this done.

[Guest deleted1107]

Interestingly enough while I have always preferred anonymous sex I often find myself waking up with the guy I am with... don't know exactly why but it's just worked out that way over the years. Maybe it's passion, chemistry, or just simply the guys that I have always seemed to connect with... either way do what makes sense for you and in the end do what makes you happy.

[Guest Upstateguy518]

19 hours ago, Raxi Starbeam said:

I agree with Upstateguy518:

I send out posts and messages and ads everywhere I can that I am taking all loads with anon sex being the main point. I'll do some interaction with my regular fuck buds, and sometimes with new guys if the chemistry is right. It usually starts with asking me general questions like age, stats, status. I understand not everyone loves poz loads the way I do and want to know what they are putting their dick into. But after that, it gets too complicated where they want very specific details that takes too damn long to write about, when either one of us could be on the way over to get fucked/fuck. People are smart about their health, but I feel men start griefing others about taking it raw or drawing it on and on with endless emails. 

I wan't a load. You want to cum. Wrapped or not, let's get this done.

Oh it doesn't matter how straight to the point that I am (on Grindr or A4A), I still have morons message me asking all these questions, wanting pictures. I feel like I end up knowing more about these guys than I do family members when all is said and done. Shit does not need to be this complicated. If I want cock and you want to cum, Why make it such a hassle to hook up? Be a fucking man and do it.

[Japbtm]

I went from glory hole fun in the beginning and took loads just as the GH fever started to wain. After everyone in SF was doing Prep, easy anon ass was all over the place. The glory holes dried up of tops and filled with trolls and the walking dead. 

I then started to post CL ads and invite guys to my place for ANON. Hit and miss there too but some really memorable ones. But I was hungry for more and started doing the Motel cumdump scene. Still hit and miss but got some pretty good dick. Almost made a science on time, place and when there was a convention in town. 

Cummnion was s hit and miss, no body wanted to cum and  everyone was saving their load. The true love, I’m sure all will agree, is the cum in your hole. Having as much of it more than the actual fucking. 

I live in a condo now and it’s prerty much secured. No more real anon dick. Unless it’s the guy who lives in the same building as me.

 I missed my ground floor apartment which had easy access to parking and entrance. Location Location Location.