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If it was up to you to set a new age of consent, what would the age be and why?


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What age of consent would you choose?  

1,743 members have voted

  1. 1. What age of consent would you choose?

    • No age of consent - just stiffen penalties for rape if victim is under 18
      63
    • 12
      333
    • 13
      154
    • 14
      180
    • 15
      153
    • 16
      381
    • 17
      20
    • Keep it at 18
      227


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I said 18. The key word was sex with adults. Kids experiment with one another all the time and that's fine if they have sex with each other during the early teen-age years but wait until 18 before dabbing with adults.

Agree 100% I chose 18 also for the very same reasons as outlined above.

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I played w/ male and female cousins from age 5 on, but clearly remember consciously and consensually seeking out sex at age 12 and did so with partners who were 5 or 6 years older than me...would have loved to had sex with college age and older, but didn't know how to find such willing fuck-pals.

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I got seduced by my 16 year old gay cousin and love sucking his cock swallowing his cum and him being the first to fuck me bareback. Loved it and have not looked back...gay, bareback and proud to bred!

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Well, why is sex different from other things then? I agree that any age of consent is an arbitrary construct (and 18 is probably an outdated age considering when kids get sexually active these days). However, we don't allow kids to drive, drink, smoke, vote, sign contracts, make medical decisions, etc. Saying a child of, say, 8 should have the right to consent to sexual activity would also imply that that same child would be able to decide whether to take the icky-tasting antibiotic or have the scary surgery. Children don't have the capacity yet to gauge the consequences of their actions. Sex has risks, not just emotional or psychological ones (not that those are not bad enough), but real physical ones as gets discussed ad infinitum in this forum (and then there are things like pregnancy, etc.( Unless you want to somehow test every child or adolescent for psychological and intellectual maturity, we are going to have to have some sort of cutoff age. I'd say something in the 14-16 year range is probably reasonable these days.

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I was masturbating at 11, but was at the same time, in my opinion, incapable of making sexual decisions. I wanted to, sure, but wouldn't have known how to cope with any negatives resulting if I did. 16 is reasonable. I think it's the Netherlands that has a policy of not prosecuting for under-age sex providing the age gap is no more than a couple of years (kind of "kids will be kids" policy).

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I don't believe any jurisdictions in the US prosecute the kids for having the sex, only the adult partner. So two people below the age of consent are always free from any criminal threat. Some states have "Romeo and Juliet" laws that do not criminalize sex between someone underage and adult as long as the age difference is less than two or three years as well. However, not all states do and you wind up with bizarre situations like an 18 year old being branded a "sex offender" for having sex with his 17 year old friend.

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It's difficult to say.

I actively pursued and initiated relationships with much older guys from the age of 13 onward. That is to say, I searched them out, lied about my age, and went out of my way to hook up with them.

The whole basis for age of consent laws as they stand now seems to assume that such a scenario as mine never happens, that it's always the other way around, teens being exploited by old creepy predators.

The problem with any blanket law or rule is that there's an exception to every single one and all of life is one big grey area, there is no black and white.

If I had to choose I would say that it should probably be 16, only because if you society trusts you to pilot 3,000 pounds of deadly metal out into the world, how can we not trust you to decide who you are and aren't going to fuck? I also thinking drinking and smoking age should be lowered to 16.

If it gets into an argument about "mental maturity" then that could blow up a lot of other laws on the books too. All the research is coming out now showing that people usually have a still-developing child like brain until at least their mid-twenties. Do we raise the age to fuck, drink, drive, and smoke to 25 then? Most people would say no.

It really comes down to the individual, and the truth is that all of us check a certain amount of our individual liberty at the door in order to receive the benefits of a society and must abide by the laws that society sets.

I just don't see this conversation ever getting started on a national level though. It's too easy to harpoon instantly with one-liners about pedophilia and child molestation and no politicians want to be the one to bring it up either, because no one except a slim fringe (that I would include members of this forum in) is even thinking about it, and I guarantee none of them are going to write their politicians about it.

I really don't lose much sleep over it though. As an adult I still pursue a more mature man in his 20s and beyond just like I did when I was a teen, so perhaps that's a bit selfish of me, but we all have to fight our own battles in life.

But as long as this convo only continues in our minds and on shadowy forums like this one and not in the public eye, nothing is going to get changed.

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I was masturbating at 11, but was at the same time, in my opinion, incapable of making sexual decisions.

I think some guys on this thread are masturbating as well when they suggest 11 or 12. Yes, early bloomers exist. But even those don't seek guys in their mid-fifties to have sex with, instead having sex mostly amongst themselves. So age of consent laws don't really cramp their style.

I wanted to, sure, but wouldn't have known how to cope with any negatives resulting if I did.

Most preadolescents are more fascinated with sex per se than with having sex with a specific person and when it happens early, it's more playful. It's not the same kind of sex a grown man has. Everyone should have the right to develop naturally without having someone older's idea of sex forced upon them.

16 is reasonable. I think it's the Netherlands that has a policy of not prosecuting for under-age sex providing the age gap is no more than a couple of years (kind of "kids will be kids" policy).

I think I said it before, but I find the German model very sensible. The general age of consent is 16, with only minor restrictions. Having sex with a 16 year old is legal, but it is not legal for a 16 year old to do porn or work as a prostitute (prostitution being otherwise legal in Germany). Also it's not ok for a person of authority to have sex with e.g. apprentices or students.

It's also ok for someone of the age of 14/15 to have sex with someone who is just a few years older (I think 21 is the cut-off), and / or if the parents don't mind.

I don't believe any jurisdictions in the US prosecute the kids for having the sex, only the adult partner. So two people below the age of consent are always free from any criminal threat. Some states have "Romeo and Juliet" laws that do not criminalize sex between someone underage and adult as long as the age difference is less than two or three years as well. However, not all states do and you wind up with bizarre situations like an 18 year old being branded a "sex offender" for having sex with his 17 year old friend.

I really think that this is the real problem here. Laws dictated by moral outrage, eschewing common sense.

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I say keep it at 18 to protect those that need protecting. Adults have power over minors and power tends to corrupt. Keeping the age at 18 allows society to try to protect kids against predators. Yes kids understand that sex feels good, but probably don't understand the lifelong ramifications of living with venereal diseases. Judging from some of the posts found on this page many adults don't understand that either. I can't imagine having to tell your parents that you caught something that will ultimately kill you if it's not treated when you are a 13 year old. Will some kids continue to seek out sex at a younger age? Yes. Should society sanction it? No. Will that stop it? No. Most kids like the naughtiness of experimentation.

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Personally, I missed out on a lot of good years because of the social stigma which is reinforced by the age of consent. I knew I would like it and so I denied myself. I know I was ready at thirteen and I hate for others to miss out on the joy of cock worship.

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I understand that feeling. While I believe we need to keep an age of consent, I certainly remember very sexual feelings very early on. I think it would've been OK for me to explore those with someone close to my age, but not with someone much older who might take advantage of my naïveté. However, by my early teenage years, I was so ready for anything LOL. Wish I could go back and live out some missed opportunities. :)

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The issue is when is a teen mature enough to deal with all the issues that come with sex, not so much when are the interested in it. There can be some serious power dynamics between adults and teens and teens may not have the knowledge or experience to fully understand the ramifications of what they're doing. Imagine a teen who gets talked into being a gangbang bottom. Teens tend to feel like they're invincible and nothing can hurt them. An adult could play on that and not really get them to appreciate the risk they're taking.

Most adults aren't mature enough and don't appreciate the risks they are taking. If they did, Jerry Springer wouldn't have stayed on the air these last 20 years. I don't think I've ever met anyone who wished they had waited longer to lose their virginity or wishes they hadn't fucked so much on their deathbed.

If the question were purely biological, interest in sexual pleasure doesn't begin at puberty. There is plenty of scientific evidence that humans are fully capable of orgasm from conception on. There is ultrasound footage of fetuses masturbating in utero. The only thing puberty changes is sperm production in males and the monthly release of eggs in females. For most of the evolution of mankind, life expectancy was 30-40 years and physiologically we developed to become mothers and fathers around age 13. Only in the last century have outside moral and religious convictions raised the age of consent to 18 in the US and other Western countries.

The biological answer to that and other factors has been that the average age a girl begins puberty has actually gone down worldwide. Girls as young as 8 have started getting their period.

If we accept then that age of consent laws are a purely social construct based mostly on Western religious influences; then you have to also accept that whatever age you come up with is purely subjective. Therefore no age of consent law will ever work, as intended, for the masses.

We all learned the pitfalls and perils of sexual relationships by experience, not by the boys basketball coach teaching sex ed for one week in health class. We all began at different ages with different gender preferences regardless of whatever the local consent age was. When I was 7, I got my first BJs from a girl who was 6. Eventually she invited her 4 year-old sister to stop just watching and join in. It follows, then, that we shouldn't have any age of consent law.

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Just to be a contrarian, I'm going to go with 25. Maybe 30. Possibly 40.

Let's face it: guys in their teens are idiots. Absolutely cannot be trusted to make good decisions. But guys in their 20s are scarcely better. And sex really is wasted on the young.

Besides, wouldn't it be nice to have something to look forward to as you age?

Most adults aren't mature enough and don't appreciate the risks they are taking. If they did, Jerry Springer wouldn't have stayed on the air these last 20 years.

There is that too. Frankly, the existence of this site is testament to that. Maybe 50? 60? It'd be a nice retirement bonus....

I don't think I've ever met anyone who wished they had waited longer to lose their virginity or wishes they hadn't fucked so much on their deathbed.

In all seriousness, I'm kind of two minds about it actually. I've personally found it difficult to get into sex within the context of a relationship. I do wonder if part of the problem is too much NSA, anonymous and easily available sex (and porn for that matter). It's absolutely true that if you have easy access to something (anything....goes for fine dining, travel, whatever) then it loses its specialness. Simple human nature: we value things that are hard to come by far more.

Remember the old movies and cartoons where guys could be driven wild by the merest glimpse of an ankle? I kind of wonder what that would be like.

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