Sling Lizards - What Do You Do?

[AirmaxUK]

13 hours ago, Treehugger said:

Okay guys I had a new problem crop up at Cummunion this last Saturday. The place was packed and I got fucked plenty. Early in the evening I climbed in the sling with a blindfold on. I love the excitement of being in the dark plus I think more inhibited guys get braver when they know they won't be turned down.  I had fun, two guys fucked me and I blew a third. Mindful more than ever of hogging the sling I got out after the third guy.

     Later in the evening I thought I would try my luck in the sling again. There are two and one was filled with a hot guy. I got in the other one. Two minutes later a hot tattooed guy comes in and asks us how long we had been in the sling. I told him. So he proceeds to strike up a conversation with a guy who had been standing there  jerking. Meanwhile hot bottom has two guys working him over.

    More guys show up and tattooed guy keeps mentioning he's waiting for his turn in the sling. He stood there in front of my sling shooting the breeze like he is at the water cooler. He keeps talking and talking. Guys show up in the doorway see the crowd in front of my sling and move on. It sucked. I gave up.

Oh yeah - I have experienced similar - a couple of guys discussing Union Politics and the finer points of Brexit quite loudly in a darkroom - I am quite sure specifically to clear people out, then they jumped into the sling. 

[Leatherman667]

On ‎6‎/‎8‎/‎2018 at 10:03 PM, bbzh said:

Hook up with a guy right in front of the sling lizard, essentially forcing him to watch you get fucked but also blocking others from getting to him to fuck him. 

I'm petty. I admit it. Petty Labelle. LOL.

Love it!

[Treehugger]

On ‎6‎/‎19‎/‎2018 at 10:08 AM, bicep said:

I’m 5’7 and a top. Slings are hung for taller guys in mind and the slings are too high for me to have a successful fuck. Bottoms often don’t realize that shorter guys could fuck them on all fours or standing but not in the sling.

This is so true. When I get in the sling I try to hang my ass way out and down since many guys seem to have trouble reaching. They are also hung too high on the head end and I always end up killing myself trying to suck cock while I am getting fucked. I wish they would leave them adjustable. I hope if you ever saw me in a sling that was too high you would ask to fuck me in another position. Or just order me, I like an aggressive top.

[Treehugger]

On ‎6‎/‎19‎/‎2018 at 10:20 AM, AirmaxAndy said:

Oh yeah - I have experienced similar - a couple of guys discussing Union Politics and the finer points of Brexit quite loudly in a darkroom - I am quite sure specifically to clear people out, then they jumped into the sling. 

Me too! Same event. Two guys hook up in the darkroom, blow their loads and then proceed to exchange pleasantries, make plans, pick out their china pattern. Sheesh. They were so loud, totally killed the mood.

[ErosWired]

I just realized that I’ve repeatedly encountered another species of sling fauna: The Sling Fly. There are different species of Sling Flies, and I will attempt to differentiate them below. Although different in behavior, the common trait among them is their ability to ruin the sling occupant’s experience.

The Common Sling Fly (Slingusca odium) generally arrives on the scene quickly if the sling occupant is alone and begins fumbling with the penis and testicles of the occupant if exposed; otherwise it will begin groping for them. This fly has been known to tenaciously attempt to remove chastity cages without a key in order to diddle with the cock. This species can usually be shooed off, but others may appear in the same session.

Closely related is the Sling Blow Fly (Obsessiphallus fellatium), which has a similar preoccupation with the cock of anyone in the sling, and, evidently unaware of the sling’s intended purpose, will attempt to give head if not waved away. May be persistent.

The Sling Stinger Fly (Slingslapus pinchifer), not unlike a horse fly*, will settle upon an unwitting sling occupant - especially if blindfolded - and commence to slapping and pinching any exposed flesh, with particular emphasis on ball smacking and nipple twisting. This slingfly seems to have poor hearing, and can be difficult to discourage.

Slinguscum socialis, the Sling Chatterfly, normally found in groups of two to three, has a specially adapted technique of locating itself in close proximity to the sling occupant’s hindquarters and then beginning an endless conversation with its fellows and completely ignoring the occupant. This has the effect of preventing anyone else from having access to the occupant’s ass. Scientists speculate that this behavior may in fact be intended to cause the occupant to vacate the sling, because if he does, the Chatterfly generally immediately climbs into it himself. This species can be tenacious, and hard to get rid of without causing a scene.

These Sling Flies can be found in any sling room, and there is no recommended method that works to repel all of them - buy you could try spraying them with DEET.

 

*The thought of horse flies in this context makes me shudder because one summer a couple of years ago at Camp Buckwood, I was lying naked in the sun by the pool with my cock warm, relaxed and tumescent enough to lie noticeably across my thigh, when a good-looking guy stopped in front of my deck chair and stared long and pointedly directly at my cock. After a tantalizing moment, he said:

”Excuse me, but there’s a big horse fly on your penis.”

There was indeed, resting just below my frenulum, no doubt attracted by all the warm blood swelling my member, and one second later I’m sure it would have taken a bite that I would have remembered.

Edited March 25, 2019 by ErosWired

[Pozguyinchi]

I give it the two pass rule. If two men pass and are not interested I try something else and get out. I have grade A pussy so it doesn’t happen often. Lol.  I always think the guys that are staying in the slings too long are doing it because they don’t want to walk around. Some of them look loke they need a little more walking. I also think these guys are the same ones that pull up next to you at a Forrest preserve and cock block you when you are playing with someone else. They think this is the day that you are going to invite them in to play.

[tallslenderguy]

i think it's sort of sad, i hat the idea of guys feeling rejected. i know some guys are either ignorant of social cues, or simply ignore them, and they don't seem to realize that their behavior exacerbates their problem of being rejected. i'm pretty sensitive and fold if there's any hint that i might not be wanted, i don't think i've ever spent more than 10 minutes occupying a sling or bench if there are no takers. The clubs i have been in, it doesn't take all that long to make the rounds, so once i see the same guy pass by a second time, i know it's time to vacate. Also, the clubs where i've gone generally have more than one or two slings, so even if someone does plant their self in a sling, if guys aren't interested they just use the other slings or go to the other guys in slings. 

Clubs can be a harsh environment, a sort of meat market where everyone is naked and on display. i've never bred a guy like Eros describes, but that's because i'm not really a breeder.  i've sucked a lot of obvious club "rejects" before and they usually seem pretty grateful for the attention. i've surprised myself by the connections i have made when i get past my own visual bias.

i won't compete for cock, if i feel like there are too many bottoms in a place at one time and they start to compete, i'll leave. i hate pettiness or meaness.  i think the kind of person Eros is describing has entitlement issues.  

[find91]

On 6/8/2018 at 5:03 PM, bbzh said:

Hook up with a guy right in front of the sling lizard, essentially forcing him to watch you get fucked but also blocking others from getting to him to fuck him. 

I'm petty. I admit it. Petty Labelle. LOL.

Petty Labelle LOL Man I love that 

[find91]

9 hours ago, ErosWired said:

I just realized that I’ve repeatedly encountered another species of sling fauna: The Sling Fly. There are different species of Sling Flies, and I will attempt to differentiate them below. Although different in behavior, the common trait among them is their ability to ruin the sling occupant’s experience.

The Common Sling Fly (Slingusca odium) generally arrives on the scene quickly if the sling occupant is alone and begins fumbling with the penis and testicles of the occupant if exposed; otherwise it will begin groping for them. This fly has been known to tenaciously attempt to remove chastity cages without a key in order to diddle with the cock. This species can usually be shooed off, but others may appear in the same session.

Closely related is the Sling Blow Fly (Obsessiphallus fellatium), which has a similar preoccupation with the cock of anyone in the sling, and, evidently unaware of the sling’s intended purpose, will attempt to give head if not waved away. May be persistent.

The Sling Stinger Fly (Slingslapus pinchifer), not unlike a horse fly*, will settle upon an unwitting sling occupant - especially if blindfolded - and commence to slapping and pinching any exposed flesh, with particular emphasis on ball smacking and nipple twisting. This slingfly seems to have poor hearing, and can be difficult to discourage.

Slinguscum socialis, the Sling Chatterfly, normally found in groups of two to three, has a specially adapted technique of locating itself in close proximity to the sling occupant’s hindquarters and then beginning an endless conversation with its fellows and completely ignoring the occupant. This has the effect of preventing anyone else from having access to the occupant’s ass. Scientists speculate that this behavior may in fact be intended to cause the occupant to vacate the sling, because if he does, the Chatterfly generally immediately climbs into it himself. This species can be tenacious, and hard to get rid of without causing a scene.

These Sling Flies can be found in any sling room, and there is no recommended method that works to repel all of them - buy you could try spraying them with DEET.

 

*The thought of horse flies in this context makes me shudder because one summer a couple of years ago at Camp Buckwood, I was lying naked in the sun by the pool with my cock warm, relaxed and tumescent enough to lie noticeably across my thigh, when a good-looking guy stopped in front of my deck chair and stared long and pointedly directly at my cock. After a tantalizing moment, he said:

”Excuse me, but there’s a big horse fly on your penis.”

There was indeed, resting just below my frenulum, no doubt attracted by all the warm blood swelling my member, and one second later I’m sure it would have taken a bite that I would have remembered.

Your classifications are extremely detailed and apt ever though of comprising this in a book for the young darkroom biologist?

[ErosWired]

4 hours ago, Pozguyinchi said:

I always think the guys that are staying in the slings too long are doing it because they don’t want to walk around. Some of them look loke they need a little more walking.

I’m also convinced that many of them recognize that a bathhouse locker is cheaper than a bathhouse room, and if they can snag the sling... the room’s free!

I once discovered a guy asleep stretched out in the dark alcove where guys are supposed to line up for the gloryholes, blocking any use of the facility. Asleep - with a blanket. ?

[blkoraltm]

On 6/11/2018 at 9:50 PM, ErosWired said:

But if men continue to walk past the sling without stopping to at least inspect what’s on offer, the occupant should, in my opinion, take the hint within half an hour and change strategies; it obviously isn’t working

My biggest reason is to show the crowd that I am a bottom. I generally climb in for 10 to 15 minutes every 2 to 3 hours to remind the crowd that not all black men are aggressive thug tops! I present the goods and climb down. I'm not a fan of them to begin with! 

[find91]

2 hours ago, ErosWired said:

I’m also convinced that many of them recognize that a bathhouse locker is cheaper than a bathhouse room, and if they can snag the sling... the room’s free!

I once discovered a guy asleep stretched out in the dark alcove where guys are supposed to line up for the gloryholes, blocking any use of the facility. Asleep - with a blanket. ?

sometimes Homeless go in saunas because it's way cheaper than renting a motel and give them protection from outside and cops. I'm not suggesting sling lizards and the other fauna you have described as homeless they just sound like jerks, but the guy you found sleeping might be

[bbzh]

Pride would keep me from occupying a sling for too long. The longer you are in the sling without anyone fucking you, the more your stock price plummets. If no one is approaching you, it seems to repel others and suddenly you are at risk of becoming invisible. Foot traffic near the sling drops off. I saw this guy hog a sling recently in Barcelona at a sex party. He wasn't a hottie (but not ugly either) but the guys simply ignored him after a while. While he lay there, tons of guys were fucking just feet away from him. I agree that the sling is a good way to advertise you're a bottom but let's not forget that it may not be where a top wants to fuck you. You could very well be missing out on a load in a cabin because you didn't vacate the sling. How's that for irony? LOL.

[AirmaxUK]

10 hours ago, Pozguyinchi said:

I always think the guys that are staying in the slings too long are doing it because they don’t want to walk around. Some of them look loke they need a little more walking. 

Just noticed this and it made me LOL. 

[AirmaxUK]

3 hours ago, find91 said:

sometimes Homeless go in saunas because it's way cheaper than renting a motel and give them protection from outside and cops. I'm not suggesting sling lizards and the other fauna you have described as homeless they just sound like jerks, but the guy you found sleeping might be

Not just the homeless... I remember in my clubbing days, London prices were such that many younger guys used to plan to sleep in the sauna rather than pay for a hotel room when visiting the capital for a weekend of partying.