What does "Faggot" mean?

[ErosWired]

The word "faggot" is used all across these boards, but I was unable to find any thread in which the actual meaning of the word is discussed. It seems to me that a word in such common usage ought to be generally understood in its specifics.

What do you mean when you use the word "faggot"? In high school in the early 1980s, I remember being called "faggot" and "fag" walking down the halls, even though at the time I didn't know what it meant. The ones using it were almost entirely jocks, and what they meant by it was "homosexual" - any homosexual. At that point in my life, I (a very late bloomer and autistic to boot) was unaware that I had any same-sex attraction. Sex wasn't yet part of my lexicon. I just knew that "faggot" was clearly not something anyone wanted to be. Now, in the greater world of homophobia and discrimination, the use of "faggot" by non-gays often carries almost the same taboo as use of the "N" word for people with dark skin.

Yet here, some men sling it around casually, or even as a badge or flag. Some men claim it as part of their identity, while others take its use as a given because to them it aptly describes another type of man (but not themselves). An Alpha Top (for instance) may, here, refer to the bottom he uses as a "faggot", confident that other readers will understand that he is not, himself, a faggot. Yet from the perspective of some non-gay men on the outside, that word would be applied to him and to the bottom equally.

So clearly, "faggot" takes on a more specialized meaning within this group. But what is that meaning, exactly? Are all bottoms faggots? Are all faggots bottoms? What about very bottoms? What about very Tops? Does faggot refer only to a certain kind of man whose willingness to submit himself to the use of other men sets him lower in some hierarchy of male-male sex? Is the term reserved for those who unashamedly let the thick cocks of anonymous strangers degrade their slits? It the word specifically meant for men who end up with the semen of other men inside them? Is a man a faggot because he has an inner desire to be penetrated, fucked, bred in the way men breed women, so strongly that it becomes a physical and emotional need?

More to the point, is faggot used here to express that a man has somehow degraded his masculinity by submitting to the sexual use of more aggressive, more masculine men? Or do you mean something either more, or less, specific?

I do not think of myself as a "faggot", possibly because of the stigma that surrounded the word from my upbringing. Likewise, on these boards, I would never refer to myself as a faggot. Oddly, though, it does not bother me if other men here see me as such, if by faggot they mean a man who willingly gives his body in service to other men for their sexual pleasure. It doesn't bother me if you see me as somehow less masculine or less of a man. If the idea of using me because you see me that way, or because my being a faggot in your eyes makes me fair game for your use, then that's fine. I would just like to know exactly what you mean.

[orionboy1]

I have never really liked the word/label, yes I willingly submit and give my body to masculine usually older dom top breeders. I go tanning in the winter to keep my speedo tanline, I get a Brazilian wax to keep my boypussy silky smooth for my breeders pleasure and IlI jog and lift nearly every morning and eat right to stay in decent shape. I use a skin care regimen to ensure I stay looking young. Im probably the definition of "faggot" to most men. 

However, I dont see myself as a faggot, Im just gay. I actually am fairly straight acting and have a lot of "masculine" interests/qualities.  I love the outdoors, Im a scuba diver, I played paintball for my university's team, I rockclimb, I drive a car that has a bit over 450hp, I have killed nearly a dozen deer in my lifetime, I like fishing/camping/roughing it.

Im no princess outside the bedroom, I dont worship any female music artists like 90% of other gay guys my age. I dont wear make up and I dont think I have watched one episode of Rupauls dragrace. 

 

Masculine in the streets, submissive in the sheets ; ) 

 

Im not a faggot princess. 

[ErosWired]

Your university had a paintball team?

When I was in college, if there had been such a thing as a paintball team and a gay guy was on it, they wouldn’t have called him “faggot” - they would have called him “target”.

I’m glad things are a bit better now. The 80s sucked for being gay.

[Cumfilledbottomboi]

I take ownership in the term “faggot.” It is part of my identity. That way, it doesn’t sting when hearing it now. I also and hugely  submissive and if my top wants to call me a faggot, he can. He can call my anything, really. I’m there to serve him. I’m very masculine outside of sex but do have other submissive traits.

[Pozlover1]

Literally:

The “Fasci” on the back of a US dime is an old Roman symbol of “power of the many”. (Explained with sticks by Caesar in Rise of the Planet of the Apes). This morphed through French to English when they sold bundles of kindling in the treeless cities, then it became a macabre humorous reference to burning Gays alive.  

The old “power through strength” meaning is VERY applicable to Gay Pride Parades, flags, festivals, etc..

So it is OK to own that word, and overuse vaporizes it’s power as an insult.

IMHO we should try to look as “much like them” in real life and these parades, demonstrations and other public displays, except for the pure theatre of Drag, to gain acceptance. “Know when to blend..and when to offend”.

The concept of strength  by numbers can only go so far if you are only 10% of the population and should only be used as a defense, because we have advanced only on our own merits, not affirmative action and quotas.  Equality was first granted by employers, and, once it was safe for them to do so, various cowardly and useless governments passed unenforceable laws and tried to take the credit. 

Trying  to force society to accept scary trans people that don’t pass into their bathrooms, and trying to include paedophelia as a gay part of libertarianism, will inevitably cause a backlash we cannot survive. 

So I repeat: it is OK to own that word, and using it freely removes its negative power. 

[Guest Upstateguy518]

To me, The word is as common as saying asshole or cunt. Its just a word with a dark history that I feel has been taken over and stripped of whatever negative power it use to hold. Naturally, Not everyone feels this way but it is what it is.

[Guest KptNLine]

Hey all,

This is a great question Eros, and thought I’d add my thoughts. I’ve thought of myself as a “faggot” for years now. I don’t think there’s any one standard definition and I think if you talked to 10 guys who identify as such you’d get 10 different definitions.

A lot of my identity, particularly as it relates to sex, has to do with my being locked in chastity by my Husband. In our relationship, most sexual pleasures that Men take for granted on a daily basis - the ability to have an erection, to experience an orgasm, to be granted sexual release - these are all things that are denied to me, and that I am granted by a Man.

To me, a “faggot” is someone who has surrendered some aspect of their Masculinity or Manhood to another Man. I think that giving up that power to a Man is essential in order to identify as a faggot. I think it has less to do with the sex act itself and more with the power dynamics behind the sex act. When a faggot has sex with a Man, the sex act is not a coupling of equals, but rather an act based on being the perfect complement to a Man. It’s hard to explain in this venue, but I think the simplest way to say it is that a faggot isn’t just a bottom, but rather a male who has surrendered some aspect of his masculinity to another Man.

 

[orionboy1]

  On 1/30/2019 at 1:47 PM, ErosWired said:

Your university had a paintball team?

When I was in college, if there had been such a thing as a paintball team and a gay guy was on it, they wouldn’t have called him “faggot” - they would have called him “target”.

I’m glad things are a bit better now. The 80s sucked for being gay.

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Yeah, at least when I went there KU had a offical team. We were recognized by The National Collegiate Paintball Association or NCPA. It was a blast.  KU is in Lawrence KS, it is an incredibly liberal city, and yeah this was only ten years ago so being gay wasn't a big deal. 

Ill occasionally dust off my old markers and go to a PB place/field time to time. I absolutely slay people to the point of them getting upset and yelling at me to stop taking it so seriously! its supposed to be fun!  lol

[Loveitraw]

Interesting discussion.  For what its worth from my point of view words only have power when you let them.  Easier said than done in a lot of cases because its not always an option/possible to walk away from abuse.  

In the UK faggot is a word with many meanings unconnected with being gay.  I think knowing this makes me smile inwardly whenever I hear it because, as a term of abuse, it is faintly ridiculous.  That said when I’m called it by a top ploughing into me I revel in it; even act up to it.

I’ve never been upset by abuse thrown my way because luckily I’ve never been in a position to be broken down by it. So for those for whom it conjurs darker moments I can only say I can see why you wouldn’t like it but try to embrace or accept the use of faggot because once you take that tool away from the homophobic assholes they lose power alongside the word.

tl:dr if an asshole in the street calls me faggot I reply, “And?....” 

If a top calls me it I drop to my knees and say “yes I am Sir!”

Don’t let it get in the way of your fun whichever side you land on.

[barejackbro3]

As I understand it, 'faggot' has a specific non-abusive meaning in the gay BDSM community. Just as you have Dom/sub and Master/slave, you also have Alpha/fag. A sub gets into a scene to be abused but there are safe words, limits respected, boundaries pushed, and so on, while a slave goes for the full-on lifestyle of permanent sub. Slaves are usually respected and well-looked after by their Masters, not so those who call themselves faggots. A fag goes deeper than sub or slave, as I understand it - he will do anything and everything an Alpha demands, with almost no limits and no desires of his own, except to mirror his Alpha's desires, whether long-term or short-term. The point is while subs and slaves are abused, tortured, beaten and so on, they are still understood as humans worthy of respect (and self-determination in the case of the sub). The fag is not respected at all, does not ask for it, actively asks to be disrespected, debased and ruined.

I am definitely a sub, never a slave, but in some scenes I have sometimes hit fag territory. Not often, but it is an amazing space. I definitely couldn't live there, but admire the courage of those who do... except of course that's me giving you fags the kind of respect you don't deserve, isn't it?  

[408curious]

A faggot is a double reed woodwind instrument, similar to an oboe, but much larger and lower register.   Looks kinda like a bazooka. 

[Marathonbear]

The word faggot comes from Latin, old and Middle French and Italian and literally means “bundle of sticks.”  A bassoon in traditional music compositions are referred to as faggotti and hence the British slang for cigarettes. 

Sometime in the 1600s the term was applied to women who collected sticks and carried them in their backs for firewood. Faggot developed into slang to smear homosexuals or gay men who appeared feminine following the reference to women. There’s also a reference that a woman collecting firewood is more masculine than a man. 

In the early uses in the United States, faggot was used to emasculate homosexual men (gay didn’t appear until about the 1950s as a self-descriptor). It was common along with fairy (obvious homosexual), fruit (soft, smell good), Queen (very effeminate gay man) etc. virtually all were used as slurs or had negative connotation. 

Much like African Americans  reclaiming of nigger to change the narrative, some gays use faggot to take the negative connotation out of it. Others actually claim the  Negative connotation as a descriptor (worthless faggot cumdump, role play in BDSM etc.) 

[floodmenyc]

  On 1/31/2019 at 1:19 PM, KptNLine said:

Hey all,

This is a great question Eros, and thought I’d add my thoughts. I’ve thought of myself as a “faggot” for years now. I don’t think there’s any one standard definition and I think if you talked to 10 guys who identify as such you’d get 10 different definitions.

A lot of my identity, particularly as it relates to sex, has to do with my being locked in chastity by my Husband. In our relationship, most sexual pleasures that Men take for granted on a daily basis - the ability to have an erection, to experience an orgasm, to be granted sexual release - these are all things that are denied to me, and that I am granted by a Man.

To me, a “faggot” is someone who has surrendered some aspect of their Masculinity or Manhood to another Man. I think that giving up that power to a Man is essential in order to identify as a faggot. I think it has less to do with the sex act itself and more with the power dynamics behind the sex act. When a faggot has sex with a Man, the sex act is not a coupling of equals, but rather an act based on being the perfect complement to a Man. It’s hard to explain in this venue, but I think the simplest way to say it is that a faggot isn’t just a bottom, but rather a male who has surrendered some aspect of his masculinity to another Man.

 

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that's hot.

[ThroatFag]

I am a faggot. To me, being a faggot means that I gave failed to become a man. That failure is humiliating and pathetic. I'm sexually attracted to Alpha Men because they have achieved what I have failed. They are better than me in every way. Being used and abused by Alpha Men lets me experience what it's like to be a Man vicariously through the Alpha.

[Pozlover1]

  On 8/23/2019 at 10:00 PM, ThroatFag said:

I am a faggot. To me, being a faggot means that I gave failed to become a man. That failure is humiliating and pathetic. I'm sexually attracted to Alpha Men because they have achieved what I have failed. They are better than me in every way. Being used and abused by Alpha Men lets me experience what it's like to be a Man vicariously through the Alpha.

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You have not “failed” at anything. You have SUCCEEDED in honestly embracing your nature. It’s OK to admire strong, verile men. Straight guys do it all the time, although the movies are not reality. Superpatriot John Wayne never served in the military even in WWII. Cary Grant the homo did. James Best, the goofy Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane, was trained to be an aerial gunner, then the war ended. So he volunteered to hunt down and kill the “Wehrwolves”, diehard Nazis that would not accept that they had lost the war.