My new year's resolution

[nep321]

So I'm 35 years old and give up finding a bf...I never had one. I have probably hooked up with over 1,000 guys in my life though. I have had anal sex with 165 guys and probably sucked at least 600 cocks and swallowed 50 loads. I realized that I cannot stand condoms, so from now on I refuse to use them (but only because I'm on PrEP). I deleted all of my porn videos that contain condoms.

So, I want to set a new year's resolution for 2020! I'm thinking of something like maybe taking at least 24 loads this year (figure 2 per month). I live in Jacksonville, FL so it's not that big of a metropolitan area...it's kind of slow for gay life and the selection of guys is awful....lol.

95% of guys I message on Grindr won't even respond to me, even after checking out my profile. I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm old? Too small? I'm 5'6 115 with a slim/toned build and an otter (unless when I trim). My dick is 6.5" cut and I have a semi-firm bubble butt. I wish someone would just have the gumption to tell me why 95% of guys are not interested in me.

Am I too "old" to be having goals like this? Haha...

I'm a very tight vers bottom.

Edited January 1, 2020 by nep321

[Guest]

You are so handsome and sound like the kind of man anyone would want naked in bed with them. I bet you will surpass that load count 

[nep321]

9 minutes ago, HairyJake said:

You are so handsome and sound like the kind of man anyone would want naked in bed with them. I bet you will surpass that load count 

Aw thank you. I am sure there are thousands of cocks that want to be inside me out there, but I guess I'm different than most guys in this forum....I am selective.

[Truversebb]

We should have our own honor code! Similar to the ones at the military academies. “ I will not ever use a condom or tolerate those that do!”

[evilalex]

Dude, you're hot I wanna rape you. 

[Tightass74]

I'm in Jacksonville too. My resolution is to get fucked raw many times in 2020...

[edward21uk]

Happy New Year to you. Have a kinkier 12 months. Ed.

[parvenu]

11 hours ago, nep321 said:

So I'm 35 years old and give up finding a bf...I never had one. I have probably hooked up with over 1,000 guys in my life though. I have had anal sex with 165 guys and probably sucked at least 600 cocks and swallowed 50 loads. I realized that I cannot stand condoms, so from now on I refuse to use them (but only because I'm on PrEP). I deleted all of my porn videos that contain condoms.

So, I want to set a new year's resolution for 2020! I'm thinking of something like maybe taking at least 24 loads this year (figure 2 per month). I live in Jacksonville, FL so it's not that big of a metropolitan area...it's kind of slow for gay life and the selection of guys is awful....lol.

95% of guys I message on Grindr won't even respond to me, even after checking out my profile. I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm old? Too small? I'm 5'6 115 with a slim/toned build and an otter (unless when I trim). My dick is 6.5" cut and I have a semi-firm bubble butt. I wish someone would just have the gumption to tell me why 95% of guys are not interested in me.

Am I too "old" to be having goals like this? Haha...

I'm a very tight vers bottom.

really not sure why you are rejected as you are certainly good looking. How do you approach them?  i think it comes down to age, im 31 and find guys my age either just want hookups or younger guys, ironically u should find younger guys are after you more. IT's also a personal thing but what is your profile like? I think on an app where people compete to be more filthy, you stand out by saying you want to have a chat etc... It gets repetitive to see BARE SLUT FUCK ME RAW NOW. Your eyes just glaze over them. I dont show any sex pics, i just and say totally random (sometimes witty, sometimes weird) chat. It always works - it makes you stand out with them. Or they just disappear anyway in which case who cares they were a waste of time.

Always remember many people on that app are just window shoppers who enjoy the fantasy of attention - '' so many guys chatting to me on grindr right now!'' - means nothing but then people are hollow.

Honestly i wouldnt give up on having a BF but yeah it takes more time. I personally love raw but only with a man i have a connection with, randoms dont do it for me, which i know is weird for many to hear as I am mostly bottom too. Maybe for fun if you sign up with a proper dating website and just have a profile on there and see if you find like minded guys who want someting filthy yet serious.

Actually just to elaborate, i find guys in their 30's do want to be BF's but its like they become more careful and closed off. One guy I have played with 3 times has clearly flirted a bit about hinting it going forward. He shared that in the past bottoms became attracted to him in a romantic way and it turned him off - so i played it cool and what do ya know - now he hints he wants more. It's the classic thing that if we feel it's too easy we lose interest.

[bareback-flipflop]

I think your disappointment can be in connection to your living area. In a bigger place you wouldn’t have problems. You’re handsome and 35 is far from the old age. 
I’m over 43 and I most popular than ever. And first of all among twinks. Some of them say that  it is because I am a really DILF. LOL 

So, don’t give up, go for it, let collect as many of loads you can. 

[ErosWired]

Let me respond to you this way:  You’re concerned that 35 is too old? I didn’t take a cock until I was 37. I turned 53 last month, and your 24-load annual goal is what I took in in one really good day last year. And I guarantee you that no matter how small you feel like Jacksonville is, it’s a metropolis compared to the one-goat town I’m in - yet I’m still able to travel around and fulfill my sexual purpose. Plus, unlike you, I have a face made for radio.

So for you, getting the cock or ass (or the actual relationship) you want sounds as if it will be more a matter of adjusting your own expectations and standards, once you accept that you’re prime material.

1. Don’t be one of those guys who holds out waiting for Mr. Perfect. You’ll have a lot more fun playing with regular, normal guys, who can be surprising in the sack if given half a chance.

2. Travel around a bit if you can, especially to a bigger city, and just tell yourself that since nobody knows you, it doesn’t matter if you get a bit debauched. Permit yourself.

3. Cast a wider net. If Grindr isn’t working for you, why are you still using it? You can run profiles or ads on BBRTS, Growlr, Adam4Adam, Scruff, Manhunt, Doublelist, and others - the more exposure you have, the greater your chances.

4. Searching for an intimate connection with another man in the current environment is like panning for gold. Everybody’s out there trying to strike the mother lode, but the reality is hours and days of swirling gravel (and flakes) and water around in a pan just for the occasional glint of something in the bottom. Sometimes it’s fool’s gold, and sometimes it doesn’t pan out at all, but - there’s gold in them thar hills. I find my share of it, and you can too.

 

[nep321]

2 hours ago, bareback-flipflop said:

I think your disappointment can be in connection to your living area. In a bigger place you wouldn’t have problems. You’re handsome and 35 is far from the old age. 
I’m over 43 and I most popular than ever. And first of all among twinks. Some of them say that  it is because I am a really DILF. LOL 

So, don’t give up, go for it, let collect as many of loads you can. 

Well, I do live in a metropolitan area of 1.5 million people. I wouldn't say it's small, but it's not large either. But I would never make a living decision based on sexual needs...lmao. Many years ago, I lived in NYC, which of course can't be beat for gay life. But I didn't like the big city lifestyle at the time and moved out when I was 23 years old. Since then, life has had many twists and turns, with job changes, relocation and the like. But now I'm well settled with a job with a company I really like and I just bought a house here. So, I don't have any plans to relocate to some big gay metropolis any time soon. Overall, I like Jacksonville, but do wish the gay guys here were of better quality. The guys here just tend to be less educated, more drug addiction, smoking and a plethora of issues. An unbelievable amount of guys here are well into their 30's and still "finding themselves," many of them have no car, no job and live with roommates. It's sad. It really is.

But like I said, there certainly are some attractive guys here, but they won't even talk to me on Grindr! I also use a4a.

Edited January 2, 2020 by nep321

[ejaculaTe]

@nep321  A few thoughts and in no particular order.... Age is important if you think it’s important; the mere number hardly means anything except to the IRS and the Social Security Administration. Moreover, Cupid tends to strike when no one expects the little bugger to be flying around, shooting arrows. As evidence of these propositions, I humbly offer my own experience: At the tender age of 61, I hooked up one Friday night with a 39 year old guy on A4A (“do you want to come over and frolic?”). Three weeks later, he had moved in; we’ve been together 18 months, and I can honestly say he’s good to me and good for me. The point, I suppose, is that you’ll get nowhere by fretting over something you can’t change. It’s awfully easy at this time of year to feel discouraged about the trajectory of your life. Don’t treat your age and build as character flaws; think of them as some of your strengths. If you compare yourself to others, you’ll invariably think that some people are doing “better” than you and others are doing “worse” than you.

And at the risk of making broad generalizations, the vast majority of guys in my part of Florida don’t strike me as being Ivy League graduates making 6 figure salaries. The Great Recession took a huge chunk out of the then-existing middle class, and the insane housing market here hasn’t helped anyone’s standard of living. I’m hardly surprised that a lot of guys have roommates; if you’re only making $15 or $16/hour, you’re not making enough to afford a place on your own. Along similar lines, it’s insanely expensive to have a car, and folks of all ages here ride bicycles to get around. And while I can readily agree that guys who use drugs should be given a wide berth, I’m not ready to morally condemn anyone; it’s unlikely that the 700,000 people who have died from an overdose in the last 20 years were all intrinsically evil.

You’re doing fine — even if you can’t see it. Take care of yourself, and remember that in 12 weeks or so, the weather will be awesome in Jacksonville (and in my corner of The Sunshine State).

[bbzh]

Comparing yourself to others is pretty much always going to make you feel inadequate in some way. I'm fully on board with you securing your career, finances, real estate and other material possessions that you deem important first. I've done that myself. Having a bf is not something you should rush into if you ask me. Take your time. You'll find someone. But you gotta be realistic. Like Dan Savage says, you need to figure out what your price of admission is. (You can find his video on YouTube). You are probably not going to end up with a "perfect" guy. Likewise, you are probably not going to be perfect in the eyes of the guy who settles into a relationship with you. But stating (or even thinking) a guy has to look a certain way, have a certain size dick, be completely sexually compatible with you, have this much money, drive a certain car, must allow you to be a slut etc is just not going to have men lining up at your door.  

As far as the load count goal, I'm smiling (probably because I have a load in me now). You gotta take these load count stories on this site with a grain of salt. We have some pretty impressive fiction writers on here. As you are finding out, a lot of factors contribute to how many loads you get, many of which are not entirely in your control. STDs sometimes come along with those loads, and while PrEP is a first step, it won't shield you from gonorrhea, syphilis, or Hep C. So make sure your health insurance, testing and treatment options are in place before you focus exclusively on loads. All dick ain't good dick.

And relax. Life is short. Enjoy. Until you get that next load, watch some porn. Get a prostate massager and give yourself incredible prostate orgasms. Plan that next weekend trip. You might want to accept a wrapped dick here and there. I have convinced guys to fuck me raw after a stint of playing safe. Finally, get out in public and let people see the merchandise. I acquired a new fuck bud recently because I went out on a Saturday night. LOL. I doubt we would have found each other on the apps. Most guys on apps wouldn't pick themselves, yet are on there making demands like bottoms aren't a dime a dozen. 

[leatherpunk16]

I know this feel. I dated casually for years without finding a good man for me. Wasn't until I hit 34 that I met my first boyfriend. That was more sex-based than compatibility, and didn't last more than 13 months. But I met my late husband shortly after that, and if were still alive, we'd still be together. I went through a lot of shit to find him, and get to a place where I was happy with things. I think everyone does this. It's part of life.

I am not the person to ask for dating advice. But I will say that you must love yourself first, and based on what you've said, you're struggling with that. Keep collecting loads, keep seeing the guys who give you good lovin (it's good to look under the hood before you buy the car), and let it come to you. Go out and see what's out there. You live in New York, which sets the bar a little high, but sometimes it's the undiscovered gems that shine the brightest. Don't give up.

[atlfukbud]

Agree - you're sexy AF! Come to ATL and I will share you with a dozen of my fuck pals -- I'd also suggest a trip to FTL -- I've had amazing fun at some of their saunas/sex clubs. Plus, like ATL, it's a conference town, so tons of visitors to play with in hotels and such. Great goal. I had 23 new men inside me in 2019, plus a few bottoms that I enjoyed tag teaming, not to mention lots of breeding with regular pals -- You've inspired me to go for 36 this year 😎--best of luck!!