Too much incest?

[Britnonchaser]

Over the last 2 or so years BZ really seems to have turned into a place where people casually talk about incest they had, and sex they had when they were still centuries away from their first pube. Is it me or was I just better at dodging such posts before? I dont think its just me.

Not really a huge fan, it must be peeps trying to be "edgy" in a new way, to replace the fact that only about 7 posters a year actually get pozzed  these days..

Anyone agree. Im not sure if im asking the mods to make a crackdown, dunno how many others agree with me. I came here to hear about hot adult sex, personally.

[rawTOP]

We allow people to discuss what happened to them in a factual, non-erotic manner. It's also OK to have a clinical, non-erotic discussion of stories that are in the news (e.g. when pornstar Mike Dozer got convicted for having sex with a 14 year old). We do not allow perpetrators to tell their stories. If you see anything that violates those policies (too erotic, or told from the point of view of the perpetrator), please report it using the report button immediately below the offending post. We do impose pretty stiff infractions for people who go over the line.

That said, my unscientific impression is that a surprising number of gay guys were abused as kids (using "abused" in the legal sense – a fair number of the "victims" don't see it as abuse). And people who start young tend to be pretty kinky later in life. So it makes sense that a lot of the guys here have experienced what you're talking about.

[Britnonchaser]

1 hour ago, rawTOP said:

And people who start young tend to be pretty kinky later in life. So it makes sense that a lot of the guys here have experienced what you're talking about.

yeah but people used to post less about it out of a sense of the same sense of apparent embarrassment that you would get anywhere else. now round here its changing people are like "showing off" about it. Like I said they're throwing it in as a substitute for certain adult kinds of depravity. You said some people dont consider it abuse but if you just consider it shit that happened when you were a kid, why would you boast about that any more than you boast about your first awkward handjob or make-out session or whatever? 

I know this shit happens, and I was aware of the rules about how you mention it. but I still find it kinda lame. I guess if you're fine with the forum becoming that, I can't stop ya I can just hope other people get the hint.

[rawTOP]

2 hours ago, Britnonchaser said:

yeah but people used to post less about it out of a sense of the same sense of apparent embarrassment that you would get anywhere else. now round here its changing people are like "showing off" about it. Like I said they're throwing it in as a substitute for certain adult kinds of depravity. You said some people dont consider it abuse but if you just consider it shit that happened when you were a kid, why would you boast about that any more than you boast about your first awkward handjob or make-out session or whatever? 

I know this shit happens, and I was aware of the rules about how you mention it. but I still find it kinda lame. I guess if you're fine with the forum becoming that, I can't stop ya I can just hope other people get the hint.

No one should be embarrassed either about actual abuse or any of the sex they have willingly. I mean, yeah, sometimes the scene goes wrong to the point that it's embarrassing, but a general embarrassment about being abused or consensual sex? I don't endorse that type of normative sexual repression.

My goal for the site is to help people get over their hangups about sex and approach their sex lives realistically and honestly. That's the only way people can have a healthy sex life. If talking about their early experiences gets them to that place, so be it.

[Jessyboy]

My brother came from a place where sex was only between a Man and a woman after they were married. We were lucky as our parents unstop we are both Gay. I moved to NYC and moved in with my brother and we do have sex between each other, we don't look at it as incest but taking care of each others needs.

[drscorpio]

My take on this is that lots of topics come in spurts on a forum. Someone posts about a topic and gets a lot of positive notice. This encourages other people who have similar things to talk about. For a period of time, you get a lot of posts on the topic. Interest eventually dies down, and the forum moves on to another topic. 

Because I am a moderator, I read every thread that gets posted each week not just the ones that appeal to or interest me. I haven't notice an over all trend toward incest being a prominent topic although I do acknowledge it is one of those topics currently getting a lot of posts. 

[drscorpio]

20 hours ago, Britnonchaser said:

Not really a huge fan, it must be peeps trying to be "edgy" in a new way, to replace the fact that only about 7 posters a year actually get pozzed  these days..

Just in a quick survey of the "New to the Club" area:
In 2019, 13 members posted that they tested poz. People will also make the announcement in other places; I am not going to search the whole site. 
So far in 2020, we have 3 reports of getting pozzed. 

[Britnonchaser]

So not even twice the small number I offered, then...

[dreamsofblue]

50 minutes ago, Britnonchaser said:

So not even twice the small number I offered, then...

I mean, we aren't that far into the year yet so there is plenty of time for those who want to share the news to do so.

[Guest]

On 2/7/2020 at 1:25 AM, Britnonchaser said:

Over the last 2 or so years BZ really seems to have turned into a place where people casually talk about incest they had, and sex they had when they were still centuries away from their first pube. Is it me or was I just better at dodging such posts before? I dont think its just me.

Not really a huge fan, it must be peeps trying to be "edgy" in a new way, to replace the fact that only about 7 posters a year actually get pozzed  these days..

Anyone agree. Im not sure if im asking the mods to make a crackdown, dunno how many others agree with me. I came here to hear about hot adult sex, personally.

I have mixed feelings about this.   I struggle to understand why some guys find the idea of seducing a straight guy just like I struggle to understand the appeal of having sex with a relative.   Too often it is framed in a way that is very uncomfortable to me especially when there is a distinct age difference. 
 

If I start reading a story or post that goes into details I end up not reading it.  I get guys are into it.   Not my thing.    
 

I was good friends in college with a guy who had a twin that was also gay.   And his biggest annoyance When talking to other gay men was not the “who’s the evil twin” question but the frequency which he got questions about how often he and his twin had sex growing up,    It was often the thing that caused him to break up with somebody if they asked him that.  It is the equivalent to asking a straight guy if he fucked his sister.     He would always say the idea of finding his brother “sexy” made no sense to him and sounded more like abuse.   I have always agreed with him.   We all have our kinks.  I know some guys find it hot I just can’t get beyond that usually one is sexually abusing the other.  

[NLbear]

I am not so much 'disturbed' about brothers having sex with each other. I don't have a brother but I can understand when brothers are discovering sex and experiment with each other. What disturbs me more is guys who say they were having sex when they were really young, say 9yo or even younger, with their dad or other older men. And enjoy it, as some stories tell us here. At that age you don't even know what sex is. You don't get sexual feelings until you hit puberty. So I don't know if this is real or just a fantasy? If it is real that would be abuse. But maybe that is just me.  

[rawTOP]

On 2/8/2020 at 4:38 AM, Npguy1 said:

I have mixed feelings about this.   I struggle to understand the appeal of having sex with a relative.   Too often it is framed in a way that is very uncomfortable to me especially when there is a distinct age difference.

While hetero folks have very good reasons for bans on incest given the birth defects that happen when close relations have sex, the bottom line is that none of those problems exist for gay folks. Jessy and his brother can swap loads all day long and nothing bad will happen (at least nothing worse than if they had sex with strangers).

Chronophilia is a thing. You don't have to be into it to accept that it's fine for other people to be into it. I have a friend who's really into guys who are 70+ years old. I wouldn't have sex with his boyfriend, but he's genuinely into the guy.

8 hours ago, NLbear said:

I am not so much 'disturbed' about brothers having sex with each other. I don't have a brother but I can understand when brothers are discovering sex and experiment with each other. What disturbs me more is guys who say they were having sex when they were really young, say 9yo or even younger, with their dad or other older men. And enjoy it, as some stories tell us here. At that age you don't even know what sex is. You don't get sexual feelings until you hit puberty. So I don't know if this is real or just a fantasy? If it is real that would be abuse. But maybe that is just me.  

Apparently it's pretty normal for girls to get their periods at 9 and 10 years old these days. I know it happened to my niece YEARS ago and wasn't normal then. Back then they traced it to the hormones in the Purdue chicken they were feeding their kids. They switched to organic meat and her periods stopped and came back at a normal age. But my husband's cousin's kid just had her first period at 10 and apparently most of the girls in her school are getting it around the same age. Point being – puberty is happening earlier. And I'd guess all the sexual feelings start earlier as well.

But beyond that kids can be curious and it's not out of the realm of "normal" for them to be curious about their genitals (and the genitals of others). If they're not in a sexually repressed environment I suppose that could lead to sexual exploration before puberty. IMHO, it's harmful to label that explorarion "deviant" / "wrong" just because it happens to be sexual. Where problems come in is when adults get involved given the power dynamics between adults and kids. The statutory rape laws exist because too often damage is done, but not always.

[blackrobe]

I'd like to amplify what rawTOP said above. Incest is a [banned word] because of the reproductive consequences, where reproduction isn't possible I'd assert the [banned word] makes no sense. rawTOP's point about the earlier onset of puberty is well taken, but children become aware of genital pleasure and how soothing genital play can be from when they are babies. It's common and normal for babies and younger children to play with their genitals for comfort and pleasure.

Let's be clear, consent matters. Kids often engage in sexual discovery on their own and with others, both siblings and friends. Consent might not be given formally, but mutual curiosity and exploration is ample. Kids have no problem stopping and walking away from any play they are not into. The more the age difference, the more complicated it can become.

[DarkroomTaker]

Each to their own I think, providing it fits in legally .

I dont like to read of guys purposely infecting people, so I choose not to read that material.

I also dont like to read about scat or see the pics, so I dont read and dont look, my choice.

We all have choices on what we read, just choose not too.

I am sure Rawtop and Scorpio will advise and ban  where its in breach of rules and laws.

So many people, so many tastes. Enjoy what you like and stay away from what you dont.

 

[Theo8]

I've wondered how many of the incest posts are actually true.  I take most posts with a big grain of salt.  I HOPE that some kids weren't sexually abused at the age of 8 and 9 by their fathers or whomever.  I know it happens. 

I lost my virginity at 14 to a guy much older.  He was eventually convicted of sexually abuse and whatever else goes along with it.  I don't think it messed me up mentally.  I think I was messed up before it happened.  I have a long history of depression and I used sex to self-medicate.