Why have I become a cumdump?

[Dumbsadcumholeuk]

So I’d really appreciate your insight and ideas with something I’m struggling with right now. I’m a regular guy, good job, house, partner of 15 years. Loads going for me you might say. 
 

My partner and I have been open for a few years and I was cheating way before that. I was always safe, obsessively so. If I ever had a broken condom or something I’d get pep and take it a month etc. I was paranoid about getting HIV. 
 

Over the last year or so I’ve completely turned the other way and have started being a no loads refused cumdump. This year alone in 2020 so far I’ve been with 85 men and been bred off anyone who has offered. I don’t know what’s changed or why I’m putting myself in this position. All I know is that I can’t bring myself to have safe sex anymore even when I tell myself I must. 
 

some of the guys who have bred me have been ugly, abusive, violent etc but I still take their load. I only feel useful when a man is seeding me. Of course they all quickly pull up their trousers and leave me alone when they’re done so I go hunting for the next man to show me interest. 
 

why is this? Any ideas guys? Should I carry on or get help? 
 

thanks

[22222222222204848]

I’m 22 and already at the point where I don’t give a fuck who is breeding me. I think it’s perfectly normal to discover your sexual urges at any time in your life. It seems like you’ve been enjoying being a cumdump, why question it or stop? 😛

[backdoorjimmy]

If you're worried about it or it's upsetting you, maybe try to figure out why it bothers you. If you keep saying you need to stop, take the next step and tell yourself why you need to stop. 

I'm a no loads refused bottom, too. I made the decision to do it because I love dicks in my ass. And I love having a used hole. That was my decision and I empowered myself by acting on my urges. 

It sounds like this is something you feel is out of your control. I wouldn't like to feel like I didn't have control over my own urges. The best thing you can do is figure out why you want to be a no loads refused bottom and why you think you need to stop. 

Sorry if this isn't helping, but it's the best advice I have to give. 

 

[chargedodger]

Why do people play slot machines?Maybe you have developed a sexual fixation,an OCD sexual in nature.You continue because you are getting something out of it that encourages continued behaviour.

[Nclchub]

A lot of people have a sexual awakening where they embrace becoming more slutty. That said, this stood out to me:

I can’t bring myself to have safe sex anymore even when I tell myself I must.

You clearly feel guilty for indulging this side of yourself and see it as an addiction (or that at the very least it could become one). Few things you should ask yourself:

-is having safe sex one of the conditions of being in this open relationship? If so you need to consider whether it's a price your willing to pay to stay with this guy

-Are you on Prep? If not seriously consider it. That alone could make you feel less guilty about taking raw loads

-consider talking to a therapist. Just talking to a quallified third party can really help your head sort itself out (though make sure the therapist is lgbt friendly if you go this route)

 

Good luck

[evilalex]

You should probably tell your partner you've stopped using condoms if you haven't already.

[Dumbsadcumholeuk]

Thank you guys for your advice so far, it’s really appreciated. I went on holiday to a well know gay resort for these past few days. It’s a place with lots of gay cruise bars in a small area and I think I took 36 loads in three days in a combination of sex clubs, darkrooms and Grindr meets. I couldn’t stop, I just bent over for anyone. My boyfriend knew I was in these places because he was in them too (although we separated for a bit each night to do our own thing) but he doesn’t know I was taking loads. It felt so good to have random men cum in me and walk away right after. I don’t think I can stop.

[PERVERSATILE]

It's a sad day in SelfMadeHell when a Man  actively  undermines what few pleasures can be wrung out of our short, sweet and occasionally epic lives... So. Go get fucked how you want, as often as you want,  anywhere  you want and drown that little nagging bitch voice in your head in a pool of jizz.  Be the unapologetic out-of-control cumdump you were always meant to be.

[ErosWired]

@Dumbsadcumholeuk - Your narrative makes it sound as though this change in you happened relatively rapidly. A person doesn’t change his nature so radically without cause - are you able to identify the reason you began to behave and feel differently? Might it have been some event, or major realization or epiphany you had?

Whatever it was, the change is clearly a source of distress for you, I’m assuming a clash between your original mindset and your new one. A visit to a therapist to help you reconcile the incongruous parts of your nature might be beneficial.

[LittleCumSewer]

faggots like us were born to be fucktoys and cumdumpsters. it just takes us different amounts of time to figure it out for several reasons. we are told we should be having safe sex and only with boyfriends and partners, one at a time and that we should have standards and a sense of shame and self-respect and pride. place a high value on having sex and just in a committed relationships blah blah blah. that's fine for normal gay men and boys but some faggots are born pussyboys. the Eason we exist is to be a human fucktoy and give males a hot body with a pair of fuckholes to dump their loads in.not just guys we're dating or guys we like, ANY AND ALL MALES that want to use us or any fuckslut that will let them. when it comes to taking loads we have a deep need. we don't care who blows their loads in us cause we are disgusting whores.we don't even care if we know the names of the men who fuck us or even what they look like. we know the guys fucking us have zero respect for us cause we are such dirty whores. we know hundreds of men know what trash we are but we are actually proud of it. most depraved perverts hide their shameful acts but we show off and openly brag about doing stuff most people would be ashamed of. I was lucky enough to be such an obvious faggot and cumdump that guys have always used me and I was trained to be a true pussyboy early so I have always been a bareback cumdumpster for whoever wants to use me and I live in a great city to be a cumdump. plus I have been able to find daddy and boyfriends that encouraged me to be a cumdump and actually whored me out to tons of men along with watching me take hundreds and hundreds of bathhouse loads each. sooner or later faggots like us realise what we are and turn into the dirtiest trashiest whores around. it doesn't matter what guys who fuck us look like or their ages, weights, status, sexuality, cocksize. we are basically human fleshlights. guys can do whatever they want to us and treat us as degradingly or rough as they want. I just had a guy spit in my face after he came in my ass and I said "thank you sir".welcome to the world of being a worthless cumdumpster xo

[Guest DetroitAnon]

On 3/9/2020 at 1:10 AM, Dumbsadcumholeuk said:

Thank you guys for your advice so far, it’s really appreciated. I went on holiday to a well know gay resort for these past few days. It’s a place with lots of gay cruise bars in a small area and I think I took 36 loads in three days in a combination of sex clubs, darkrooms and Grindr meets. I couldn’t stop, I just bent over for anyone. My boyfriend knew I was in these places because he was in them too (although we separated for a bit each night to do our own thing) but he doesn’t know I was taking loads. It felt so good to have random men cum in me and walk away right after. I don’t think I can stop.

You won’t be able to stop.  I’ve tried several times over the 15 years I’ve been a cumdump.   There is no better feeling than being a cum dump and taking anon loads.   I say to myself that I’m only going to get fucked by guys I think are hot, but then my hole says it just wants dick, and that any dick will do.   My hole always wins.  

[Guest DetroitAnon]

On 3/10/2020 at 12:27 AM, LittleCumSewer said:

faggots like us were born to be fucktoys and cumdumpsters. it just takes us different amounts of time to figure it out for several reasons. we are told we should be having safe sex and only with boyfriends and partners, one at a time and that we should have standards and a sense of shame and self-respect and pride. place a high value on having sex and just in a committed relationships blah blah blah. that's fine for normal gay men and boys but some faggots are born pussyboys. the Eason we exist is to be a human fucktoy and give males a hot body with a pair of fuckholes to dump their loads in.not just guys we're dating or guys we like, ANY AND ALL MALES that want to use us or any fuckslut that will let them. when it comes to taking loads we have a deep need. we don't care who blows their loads in us cause we are disgusting whores.we don't even care if we know the names of the men who fuck us or even what they look like. we know the guys fucking us have zero respect for us cause we are such dirty whores. we know hundreds of men know what trash we are but we are actually proud of it. most depraved perverts hide their shameful acts but we show off and openly brag about doing stuff most people would be ashamed of. I was lucky enough to be such an obvious faggot and cumdump that guys have always used me and I was trained to be a true pussyboy early so I have always been a bareback cumdumpster for whoever wants to use me and I live in a great city to be a cumdump. plus I have been able to find daddy and boyfriends that encouraged me to be a cumdump and actually whored me out to tons of men along with watching me take hundreds and hundreds of bathhouse loads each. sooner or later faggots like us realise what we are and turn into the dirtiest trashiest whores around. it doesn't matter what guys who fuck us look like or their ages, weights, status, sexuality, cocksize. we are basically human fleshlights. guys can do whatever they want to us and treat us as degradingly or rough as they want. I just had a guy spit in my face after he came in my ass and I said "thank you sir".welcome to the world of being a worthless cumdumpster xo

There’s nothing that gives me more pleasure in life than taking anon loads at a bathhouse.   I don’t ask or remember 99% of the guys who ever fucked me.   I don’t care who you are...I just want you to breed me.  Tell me your name, and I’ll forget it by the time you release your load in me.   And I’ll be the best bottom whore I can be so the next time you see me, you’ll remember what a good slut I was and give me your load again. It’s the most stress free time of the week when I can unplug from the world and feel raw dick fucking me, and pulsating in me while shooting a load deep in me.   I was born to be a cumdump bottom and It feels so natural to me. I want the unattractive men to have the same opportunity to fuck me as the hottest men in the club.  I feel good knowing an unattractive man knows he won’t get rejected.   I just want to please all men as long as they are hygienic.  That’s my only ask. 

[Guest DetroitAnon]

On 3/9/2020 at 11:36 PM, ErosWired said:

@Dumbsadcumholeuk - Your narrative makes it sound as though this change in you happened relatively rapidly. A person doesn’t change his nature so radically without cause - are you able to identify the reason you began to behave and feel differently? Might it have been some event, or major realization or epiphany you had?

Whatever it was, the change is clearly a source of distress for you, I’m assuming a clash between your original mindset and your new one. A visit to a therapist to help you reconcile the incongruous parts of your nature might be beneficial.

My epiphany came the first time a guy came in me and I felt then intensity of each pulsation of his dick as he shot his load deep inside me.  That was the best feeling I ever had in my life, so naturally I wanted to experience it as much as I could. What better way to experience it as much as possible than being a cumdump!

[Guest DetroitAnon]

On 3/4/2020 at 3:28 PM, backdoorjimmy said:

If you're worried about it or it's upsetting you, maybe try to figure out why it bothers you. If you keep saying you need to stop, take the next step and tell yourself why you need to stop. 

I'm a no loads refused bottom, too. I made the decision to do it because I love dicks in my ass. And I love having a used hole. That was my decision and I empowered myself by acting on my urges. 

It sounds like this is something you feel is out of your control. I wouldn't like to feel like I didn't have control over my own urges. The best thing you can do is figure out why you want to be a no loads refused bottom and why you think you need to stop. 

Sorry if this isn't helping, but it's the best advice I have to give. 

 

This is me as well:  “I'm a no loads refused bottom, too. I made the decision to do it because I love dicks in my ass. And I love having a used hole. That was my decision and I empowered myself by acting on my urges. ‘

[Guest DetroitAnon]

On 3/2/2020 at 4:05 PM, Dumbsadcumholeuk said:

So I’d really appreciate your insight and ideas with something I’m struggling with right now. I’m a regular guy, good job, house, partner of 15 years. Loads going for me you might say. 
 

My partner and I have been open for a few years and I was cheating way before that. I was always safe, obsessively so. If I ever had a broken condom or something I’d get pep and take it a month etc. I was paranoid about getting HIV. 
 

Over the last year or so I’ve completely turned the other way and have started being a no loads refused cumdump. This year alone in 2020 so far I’ve been with 85 men and been bred off anyone who has offered. I don’t know what’s changed or why I’m putting myself in this position. All I know is that I can’t bring myself to have safe sex anymore even when I tell myself I must. 
 

some of the guys who have bred me have been ugly, abusive, violent etc but I still take their load. I only feel useful when a man is seeding me. Of course they all quickly pull up their trousers and leave me alone when they’re done so I go hunting for the next man to show me interest. 
 

why is this? Any ideas guys? Should I carry on or get help? 
 

thanks

Because your true nature came out.  Do you feel guilty about the anon breeding act itself? Or guilty about your partner not knowing you’ve become a cumdump?   I think it’s the latter.  You owe it to your partner to tell him, and you owe it to yourself to be yourself, which means you will forever now only feel satisfied when you allow yourself to be a cumdump.  I fought it for years.  Now I own it.   I love being a cumdump.