Is Sexual Addiction Natural?

[Guest DetroitAnon]

Am I a sex addict?  Yes    But do sex addicts deserve to be broad-brushed as in need of psychological treatment?  Definitely not.  
 

Our minds are programmed to accept societal norms, most of which over time are fleeting.    What’s the “norm” of today is not necessarily the “norm” of tomorrow.   
 

I love sex.  I love the pleasure of sex and indulging in it as much as possible.   I love having sex with as many men as possible to serve my palate no differently than any of us who desire to taste different dishes and recipes.  Honestly,would any of us be satisfied with a monogamous relationship with bread as the only food choice we indulge in?   Unsatisfying and boring over time? Absolutely!  
 

To equate healthy sex with intimacy goes against our primal instincts.  Sex is an animalistic act.    Our minds are programmed to believe sex is supposed to equate to the feeling of love.   But in my opinion, sex and love are mutually exclusive.  You can love with or without sex.   You can commit to love someone while still filling your sexual palate, if you unlearn what’s been programmed into you.    
 

if we were raised this way, to view sex as instinctual animalistic pleasure, the Societal norm would be that sex and intimacy are indeed mutually exclusive.  
 

Sexual diseases were not prevalent from the beginning of time, STDs came into the picture for a variety of reasons...hygiene, bacteria, introduced/evolved viruses, etc.   The pure act of sex itself and the frequency and number of partners each person uniquely desires is 100% natural.  In my opinion, each person’s sexuality and proclivity for sex is as individually unique as a fingerprint.  
 

If there were no STDs, the number of people having condom free sex would increase in both frequency and number of partners exponentially, whether single, partnered, or married.  

 

So that self-loathing guilt that I used to feel with my sex exploits is gone.  I’m doing what is natural for me.  I have a high sex drive and I love the excitement and pleasure I get each time I have raw animal breeding sex, whether it be a FB, semi-regular at the bathhouse, or a new man I add to my expanded palate.   I’m thankful this is the one place I can freely express myself.  
 

Unfortunately there are sexual diseases.  I don’t seek them out, but I get them unknowingly and pass them on unknowingly until my next test and any treatment I need.   I’d rather be disease  free and live as long as possible to get as much sex as possible.   But my animalistic innate need for sex does not go away simply because of STDs.   
 

My DNA is programmed for sexual instinctual needs.   Our minds are programmed by outside influences for sexual constraint.  DNA or outside influence?  I’ll go with DNA.  
 

 

 

 

Edited March 5, 2020 by DetroitAnon

[Guest CuriousDallas]

Humans are sexual animals and I resent the idea that it’s wrong or abnormal to want to have sex a lot. Gay people tend to be bad at slut shaming and that’s a big part of why I keep almost all of my sexual activity in the closet. Most of my acquaintances and friends have no idea how much I fuck around or that I only bareback. But most people aren’t open about their sexual lives. Most of my regular fuck buds also have no idea how much sex I engage in outside of with them. Some argue they should know but I don’t ask them about their sexual lives as it’s none of my business and I expect the same from them. That said, I’m sure sex can get out of control. I’m able to keep my grades up and like to think I have a good balanced social life and have a pretty big group of friends, but I’m also constantly on the prowl for sex. Whether or not that makes me a sex addict or not I don’t know. It doesn’t disrupt my life so I would say it doesn’t. But it does spill over in some ways as it’s hard for me to form a lasting or deep attachment and I don’t want a relationship even though I’ve been kind of dating two different guys for a while. They’re both slutty like me, aren’t jealous or possessive and don’t mind that I fuck around. Much of my life does revolve around sex but hey...I’m in my sexual prime. That’ll probably shift when I’m 30, 40, or so, but maybe not. I don’t worry about it.

[bareback-flipflop]

Some months ago I had 4-6 occasions with a psychologist. Basically it was absolutely needless, but I was curious about my psyche. The most exciting part of this Proceeding was test with almost 600 items. After the analysis of this, theres was among the findings a statement that I had the disposition of addiction. Not specifying but in general. Because of the fact I don’t use drugs and usually don’t drink alcohol,  I immediately knew it had to be the sex. However, if it is necessary I can live without sex for a while. If I have urgent tasks, I never neglect them for the sex. But if I in bad mood or under extra pressure, the sex (explicitly a bareback gang bang for instance) always helps. 

I don’t think that it depends on the age. The older I am, the more sex I want.

 

[Guest DetroitAnon]

4 hours ago, CuriousDallas said:

Humans are sexual animals and I resent the idea that it’s wrong or abnormal to want to have sex a lot. Gay people tend to be bad at slut shaming and that’s a big part of why I keep almost all of my sexual activity in the closet. Most of my acquaintances and friends have no idea how much I fuck around or that I only bareback. But most people aren’t open about their sexual lives. Most of my regular fuck buds also have no idea how much sex I engage in outside of with them. Some argue they should know but I don’t ask them about their sexual lives as it’s none of my business and I expect the same from them. That said, I’m sure sex can get out of control. I’m able to keep my grades up and like to think I have a good balanced social life and have a pretty big group of friends, but I’m also constantly on the prowl for sex. Whether or not that makes me a sex addict or not I don’t know. It doesn’t disrupt my life so I would say it doesn’t. But it does spill over in some ways as it’s hard for me to form a lasting or deep attachment and I don’t want a relationship even though I’ve been kind of dating two different guys for a while. They’re both slutty like me, aren’t jealous or possessive and don’t mind that I fuck around. Much of my life does revolve around sex but hey...I’m in my sexual prime. That’ll probably shift when I’m 30, 40, or so, but maybe not. I don’t worry about it.

Sometimes it gets better. Sex in my 40s and r0s has been better than in my 20s and 30s.  

[breedmypiggycunt]

A psychologist was quite frustrated with me when she thought she’d had a major insight into my psyche when she said, “so you see intimacy and love as completely separate from sex?” and I lampooned her.

 I’ve known that about myself since I was a teenager: my closest relationships have always always been non-sexual even when there was a sexual attraction at the heart of them.

Does that mean I am, or am not, a sex addict? Nothing to do with it. While I have a healthy libido, I also keep my sex life very separate from my emotional and “real” lives. Very few people have coexisted in both of my “lives” and those that have started as fuck buddies and became non-sexual friends.

Can sex become an addiction? I suspect it can. The difference between that a healthy sexual appetite?
 

The ability to recognise and maintain a life distinct from your sexual needs.

[Guest]

Addiction makes it sound like it's a problem.  I have to have sex every single day, but I also do other things in my life.  Sex is a huge part of my life, but I don't think there is anything wrong with that... at all.

[hungry_hole]

I'm sure that the concept of "sexual addiction" comes from women or men who've only had sex with girlfriend/wife.

[ErosWired]

Although Sex Addiction as a distinct diagnosis was not included in the current diagnostic manual for psychiatric disorders (DSM-V), psychiatric professionals sometimes still diagnose Sex Addiction under the "Not Otherwise Specified" category of behavioral disorders. The condition is the subject of professional debate, but the disagreement is not so much about whether Sex Addiction is real, but rather about its nature and causes. Some professionals prefer to think of it as Hypersexual Disorder, a condition for which formal diagnostic criteria are under development. Yes, Sex Addiction can be real. Like addiction to substances (there is reason to believe that brain chemicals play a part in this) or other risk behaviors (i.e., gambling), there are common factors that set the condition apart as an addition as opposed to simply a much enjoyed behavior. The most important criterion is that the person finds himself unable to stop engaging in the behavior.

Other notable symptoms include:

• Frequently engaging in more sex and with more partners than intended.
• Being preoccupied with or persistently craving sex; wanting to cut down and unsuccessfully attempting to limit sexual activity.
• Thinking of sex to the detriment of other activities or continually engaging in excessive sexual practices despite a desire to stop.
• Spending considerable time in activities related to sex, such as cruising for partners or spending hours online visiting pornographic Web sites.
• Neglecting obligations such as work, school or family in pursuit of sex.
• Continually engaging in the sexual behavior despite negative consequences, such as broken relationships or potential health risks.
• Escalating scope or frequency of sexual activity to achieve the desired effect, such as more frequent visits to prostitutes or more sex partners.
• Feeling irritable when unable to engage in the desired behavior.

Hetero statistics show that 38% of male and 43% of female sex addicts report having an STD. That can likely be extrapolated to Tops and bottoms, respectively, as the incidence is most likely attributable to sexual role.

More in-depth information on Sex Addiction can be found here and here.

I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm just a credentialed librarian. But to reply @CumDump15's question about whether sex addicts should be considered in need of psychological aid, the answer has to do with harm. Addictions are harmful to addicts because they interfere with other important aspects of life, may cause damage to a person's mental faculties, relationships with other people, may put the person at physical risk of harm or of harming others, and may gradually result in a desensitization that requires the person to continually seek more of the same stimulus to get the same effect, until the behavior consumes all the person's time, and ultimately the person reaches the point where relief from the craving cannot be obtained.

A person under the influence of addiction cannot always recognize that he is in the grip of an addiction. Others may see it more clearly. Unless the addiction is treated and the person is released from it, negative outcomes are inevitable. Name an actual addiction that is harmless - don't bother, there isn't one. We're not supposed to be addicted to things. So I would say yes, people who are truly addicted to sex deserve help to be freed from their addiction, whether they realize it or not.

Now, several replies in this thread have pointed out that there's nothing wrong with having a healthy (even unusually robust) sexual appetite. I agree. One can have that and not be actually addicted. I go to Louisville and to Indy each once a month and take as much cock as I can get - but I don't have to. I decided to lay off going to Indy for the winter because I knew I wouldn't have as much luck then, and it would be better to save up my travel money for warmer weather. The times some lovely fellow has given me an STD, I take myself out of circulation for as long as it takes to get clear. It's an annoyance, but necessary. The point is, even though I'm as high-volume a cumdump as I can manage, I don't have to be. It doesn't control me.

@CumDump15 - again, I'm not a shrink, but from your post it sounds to me less like you're a sex addict and more like a man who has discovered he doesn't have to live under the repression of shame/guilt/self-loathing he has carried for years about his sexuality, and is looking for affirmation as he begins making up for lost time and enjoying his sex life to the fullest. Look over the resources I linked above, and decide for yourself if they apply to you, but I wouldn't be so quick to label yourself a Sex Addict.

@DannyBoyCMH - You made an interesting statement in your reply above. From our conversations and other posts that you've made, you sound like a person with a balanced life who enjoys a very active sex life, albeit as a high proportion of your day, and not addicted to it. Yet in your statement above you say "I have to have sex every single day". Does this mean that circumstances beyond your control require you to have daily intercourse, or does this mean that you feel internally compelled to do so? What would happen if you didn't? If it's the first case, what would happen in the person or people obliging you to daily coitus one day didn't? Or didn't for a week? Or a month? The answer to these questions would point to whether there is an addiction at play (and the addiction might not be yours...).)

[ronnie4u]

I think it is the 1's you hand around with learning sex - now I grew up with older guys - slept with them - and my Family members - vacation at my Uncle place with my cousin - did not know what Gay was but it was extremely exciting and Fun times - smoking weed - drinking booze - hot tub and many other good things - then realize my Dad was Bi !  Interesting bonding with my Dad !

[ErosWired]

On 3/5/2020 at 3:01 AM, CumDump15 said:

Sexual diseases were not prevalent from the beginning of time, STDs came into the picture for a variety of reasons...hygiene, bacteria, introduced/evolved viruses, etc.

Au contraire, mon frére! Recent genetic studies have demonstrated that modern Homo sapiens received HPV from Neanderthal fuck-buddies between 30,000 and 60,000 years ago. For anatomically modern humans, that’s basically far enough back that we might as well think of it as the dawn of time as far as we’re concerned.

For those of you more inclined toward scripture:

And on the sixth day God made Man out of clay, and breathed life into him, and straightaway Man got a genital wart from his brother from another mother and God threw up his almighty Hands and saith, “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.” And it was evening, and morning on the seventh day, and God went to bed and did nothing about it and Man has his wart to this day, Amen.

   - Book of ErosWired (Apocrypha)

[Twochipigs]

Definition of too much sex = more than the critic is getting.

[find91]

If sex Interferes with your job, your friends and self image. Then there is a problem. When you get to the point where you have sex just because and no longer derive pleasure or its more about getting a quick fix. You need help because you are an addict, nothing wrong with you but humans need equilibrium in their life, mind and spirit to function properly.

If you really just like fucking and / or whoring out yourself and it does not interfere with work, friends or family. You're a slut. Get back on your back takes some more loads.

[find91]

2 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Au contraire, mon frére! Recent genetic studies have demonstrated that modern Homo sapiens received HPV from Neanderthal fuck-buddies between 30,000 and 60,000 years ago. For anatomically modern humans, that’s basically far enough back that we might as well think of it as the dawn of time as far as we’re concerned.

For those of you more inclined toward scripture:

And on the sixth day God made Man out of clay, and breathed life into him, and straightaway Man got a genital wart from his brother from another mother and God threw up his almighty Hands and saith, “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.” And it was evening, and morning on the seventh day, and God went to bed and did nothing about it and Man has his wart to this day, Amen.

   - Book of ErosWired (Apocrypha)

Hehe nice, but seriously std's are just one form of communicable disease, they have been with us since our evolution because the virus or bacteria or single cell lifeforms exploited the fact that we are social creature that touch and exchange bodily fluids for variety of reasons. HPV is contracted by touch.

[TTFN]

3 hours ago, ErosWired said:

• Frequently engaging in more sex and with more partners than intended.
• Being preoccupied with or persistently craving sex; wanting to cut down and unsuccessfully attempting to limit sexual activity.
• Thinking of sex to the detriment of other activities or continually engaging in excessive sexual practices despite a desire to stop.
• Spending considerable time in activities related to sex, such as cruising for partners or spending hours online visiting pornographic Web sites.
• Neglecting obligations such as work, school or family in pursuit of sex.
• Continually engaging in the sexual behavior despite negative consequences, such as broken relationships or potential health risks.
• Escalating scope or frequency of sexual activity to achieve the desired effect, such as more frequent visits to prostitutes or more sex partners.
• Feeling irritable when unable to engage in the desired behavior.

I would say that I fit all those criteria but am still able to function, can never get enough cock and if I can't get it live I get it on the computer like this site.

 

5 hours ago, DannyBoyCMH said:

Addiction makes it sound like it's a problem.  I have to have sex every single day, but I also do other things in my life.  Sex is a huge part of my life, but I don't think there is anything wrong with that... at all.

I also have it every day, if not with a partner can always use a dildo.

[tallslenderguy]

The term "sexual addiction"  was made popular by religious organizations who use sex to control people. The religious de-gaying organizations that popped up during the 70's and 80's referred to being gay as sexual addiction, many equated being gay to alcoholism.  

The truth is, just about anything can become an addiction. Far more people are harmed by junk food addiction in our society than sex, but pizza and chips don't have a major cultural stigma attached to them like sex does... and particularly non heteronormative sex.

Thankfully, that is changing, but we still have a VP in this country who would toss gay people in jail if he had the opportunity.