Perfect 10 Culture?

[BlackDude]

I don’t know if it is just me, but it seems as if hooking up and overall flakiness are at a all time high. Do guys hook up anymore? It seems more and more people are willing to go to sleep with their dick in their hand because they are just so damn uptight about sex or waiting on a perfect 10.  For example there’s a local cruising spot I go to. I’ve seen guys go there several times and not hook up at all just waiting for the perfect 10 ( I mean if u were that hot, you wouldn’t be cruising, right?!?!)  I have also had many times recently where I have chatted with a guy online, he disappears, and I only and I wake up to fine he had messaged me back at like 2:30 in the morning (after apparently he couldn’t find a better option). And nothing is worse than seeing a guy online hit you up after you were just in the same club or a bar with him earlier in the night. No I am not a perfect 10, but I have been told I’m good looking I have a very good job my own business and own my own house etc. etc. so this is not a quality thing. I just want to get off!! (Rant over). Thoughts?!

[Davidc]

I used to to have a fag hag who’s mantra was “Don’t go ugly early” I guess it’s why night time cruising works so well for me these days 😀

[bbzh]

Sometimes I wish the various apps offered a special chat room/area called "Sex Now" that you had to pay extra to enter. You'd have to say upfront if you were willing to host or travel. Everyone had to be willing go live on camera if either party requested it. This is to avoid getting catfished with old pics. Hopefully guys would show their dick and ass. People should probably wear sunglasses and a hat to protect their privacy in case people were taking screen shots with their phone. Let's face it - the way things are currently, it costs nothing to be a flake. If it cost you something, people would (hopefully) be less inclined to waste others' time and their own money and actually try to fuck. This is why bars with darkrooms tend to work well. You actually have to make an effort to travel there and you have to buy a drink. If you're horny too, you're trying to fuck something. 

@blackdude: I think the reason you have guys hitting you up online after seeing you in the bar is that some men - especially white men - don't want their friends to know they fuck black men. Sad but true in many cases.

[sjthick8inches]

What follows is a bit of a rant based on my perceptions (which may well be at odds with reality).

I think BlackDude has a valid point. We have become such an "I'm Entitled" culture that everyone (especially millennials) expects/demands to have their fantasies fulfilled RIGHT NOW, when what they offer is far from any classic norm of Sexiness, Attractiveness, Desirability, etc.

OK, this old man is done bitching. Back to hoping covid goes away soon so I can breed holes.

 

[Oldercumslut]

I don't think it's any different that it used to be.  Just more obvious with all the apps and web sites.  There has always been the I only do Black, white, Twink, etc.  I just learned the guys who were cruising during the day and the ones that are cruising at night.

[tallslenderguy]

2 hours ago, BlackDude said:

I don’t know if it is just me, but it seems as if hooking up and overall flakiness are at a all time high. Do guys hook up anymore? It seems more and more people are willing to go to sleep with their dick in their hand because they are just so damn uptight about sex or waiting on a perfect 10.  For example there’s a local cruising spot I go to. I’ve seen guys go there several times and not hook up at all just waiting for the perfect 10 ( I mean if u were that hot, you wouldn’t be cruising, right?!?!)  I have also had many times recently where I have chatted with a guy online, he disappears, and I only and I wake up to fine he had messaged me back at like 2:30 in the morning (after apparently he couldn’t find a better option). And nothing is worse than seeing a guy online hit you up after you were just in the same club or a bar with him earlier in the night. No I am not a perfect 10, but I have been told I’m good looking I have a very good job my own business and own my own house etc. etc. so this is not a quality thing. I just want to get off!! (Rant over). Thoughts?!

Maybe the Covid thing has added to this? Social distancing adds another layer to this. The last couple of months i have had to fight my own temptations to hook with guys approaching me, and the wrestling may have come across different from what it was. 

That said, i don't even attempt to hang with or approach the "10 culture."  For me, a big part of sex, hooking or not, is about each of us wanting/needing the other. i hate one sided sex and would rather go without than be with someone who didn't want/need me as much as i want/need them.  i've had a lot of great connection and sex with 'zero's' ( i say that tongue in cheek because the 10 culture that rates people on a number scale do not have a clue as far as i am concerned).

[ErosWired]

2 hours ago, BlackDude said:

 

I don’t know if it is just me, but it seems as if hooking up and overall flakiness are at a all time high. Do guys hook up anymore? It seems more and more people are willing to go to sleep with their dick in their hand because they are just so damn uptight about sex or waiting on a perfect 10.  For example there’s a local cruising spot I go to. I’ve seen guys go there several times and not hook up at all just waiting for the perfect 10 ( I mean if u were that hot, you wouldn’t be cruising, right?!?!)  I have also had many times recently where I have chatted with a guy online, he disappears, and I only and I wake up to fine he had messaged me back at like 2:30 in the morning (after apparently he couldn’t find a better option).

 

I can’t say whether it’s worse now, but it’s been bad in this way for quite a while in my experience. I’m not a ‘hottie’ - I have never considered myself remotely competitive visually (from the front at least) so I’ve never even tried. It’s why I just park myself and serve anyone who comes to me. But in doing so I have absolutely observed what you’re talking about - I’ve agreed to take men who didn’t show, only to message me in the morning and tell me they had, indeed, fallen asleep with their cock in their hand. And I call the period between midnight and 2am “The Doldrums” because nobody ever hits up the hotel cumdump during those hours - they’re all out jockeying for something choice. Then, like clockwork, starting about 2am, here they come, not so choosy after all, and not too pretty to fuck a free whore in a cheap hotel room.

55 minutes ago, bbzh said:

Let's face it - the way things are currently, it costs nothing to be a flake. If it cost you something, people would (hopefully) be less inclined to waste others' time and their own money and actually try to fuck.

So true. I have often wished there were some way flakes’ profiles could be indelibly marked every time they flake on someone. Impractical, obviously, but @bbzh makes some interesting suggestions. Until there’s a downside to flaking they’re going to keep doing it. One could almost imagine a rating/comment system, except that it would be instantly abused by jealous competitive bottoms trying to sabotage each other and trying to get revenge on Tops who reject them.

[bbzh]

If that app could somehow alert tops that there was a no-loads-refused cumdump ready to take loads three miles away, ...those perfect 10s would lose their minds seeing all the dick and ass go to those "uglier" guys. LOL.😂

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

I've always looked at it that it is on me to work out or do what is necessary to attract someone, and I will get out of it what I put into it. And  I may never be good enough for some guys, but I am ok with that too. In the end my mindset is make do with what you got, and improve yourself as you can/want.

[Guest]

Everyone is always holding out for someone hotter. Nobody stays in their league, we're all guilty of that.

My problem is that I'm always the oldest one on Grindr.

I wish they had a Grindr for Daddies.

Edited September 10, 2020 by Muscledadbod

[LetsPOZBreed]

My personal observation?  Society hasn't changed; the methods have. (I'm talking pre-COVID, of course)

I find that it's still possible to find the quality of sex that I enjoy, but I have to expand my search to get there.  First, I live in a large city, so I did have the benefits of options other than apps, such as the saunas and cruise spots.

Perfect 10 culture has always been around in some form.  What's different, and what shakes out in the process, is the apparent accesibility of the "next hottest thing" for guys searching for this alleged perfection. 

On an app, which you can have open 24/7/365, that thing could theoretically pop up at any time.  This is why it's not uncommon to see guys cruising the apps for hours on end, and occasionally coming back to a preivous interest from hours earlier when that next-big-thing doesn't show up.  It's on these forums that the side effects of Perfect 10 culture are the most pervasive.

In a situation where people are gathered in person, such as at a bar/club/sauna/etc. you have this idea that the next hottest thing might only show up before a certain time.  As you approach this closing time, a guy searching for perfection can only choose what's available right in front of them.  Us former drinkers refer to this as putting one putting on the "beer goggles", where his standards slowly decrease as the witching hour approaches.  Nowdays, you can always theorectically go onto the apps when you're back home, but that's only a recent luxury.

[evilqueerpig]

Perfection doesn't exist, so I don't bother seeking it.  What attracts me to a man is that he's comfortable in his own shoes and he knows what he wants and that he thinks I can give it to him.

[latinobb]

Yeah, I've experienced this a lot. I'm short, 5'5, but I'm a good lay. I have regulars bottoms who come back again and again, and my regular tops love my pussy. And people who actually know me talk about how my personality is 6'3. But even though I have a cute face, a good dick, a great ass, and I'm in good shape (no Atlas girdle, but I keep in shape), a lot of guys just can't see past my height. Or they literally overlook me. Meanwhile, I'm all about the energy of the guy. Yeah, I'm a slutty bottom whore when cruising, but a guy who likes to fuck, who really likes to fuck, who goes out to fuck because he needs the joy of that connection between cock and hole, the exchange of fluids, the exchange of pleasure, well, he's hot no matter what he looks like.

[blackrobe]

1 hour ago, latinobb said:

Yeah, I've experienced this a lot. I'm short, 5'5, but I'm a good lay. I have regulars bottoms who come back again and again, and my regular tops love my pussy. And people who actually know me talk about how my personality is 6'3. But even though I have a cute face, a good dick, a great ass, and I'm in good shape (no Atlas girdle, but I keep in shape), a lot of guys just can't see past my height. Or they literally overlook me. Meanwhile, I'm all about the energy of the guy. Yeah, I'm a slutty bottom whore when cruising, but a guy who likes to fuck, who really likes to fuck, who goes out to fuck because he needs the joy of that connection between cock and hole, the exchange of fluids, the exchange of pleasure, well, he's hot no matter what he looks like.

I really connect to the energy of the man. I like tall guys, but shorter guys have made my brain fuse before, so why would I overlook them? I think catching your dick and load would be a highly notable fuck.

[Justaholeff]

Men are such visual creatures when it comes to sex ...it's the way we are wired and I'm not ashamed of our sexual natures. However, in this day and age of instant access to social media, porn, etc....I think some men have gotten so over stimulated and that their view of real men has gotten unrealistic that they will cruise or visit a bathhouse and never get laid because that perfect man in their brain is real. Once I realized this for myself and regulated my standards to reality...Ive had some of the best fucks!