Racism and gay community

[hungry_hole]

On 8/17/2020 at 1:50 AM, RawPlug said:

A man isn’t a life support system for a  penis.

Are we going to start acting like women, who get offended if someone "objectifies" them? Hell no! I like sex with men because we objectify each other and we all love it.

Edited August 18, 2020 by hungry_hole

[Guest]

all my life i have encountered racism, be in school, at work, or in society in general as a whole, even though not been born in Canada i found racism. i think the most painful racism that i have encountered was in school were a school councelor along with assitantan principal told me i should not go to univercity and instead go to work in the construction field as my kind of people were good at and that is what i should do.

but i have grown behond this and now it does not bother me any more. maybe i have changed due to all this that as happened to me? now if you are going to fuck me and i stand in  front of you, please be as racist as you like, rude as you like and vulgar as you like, besides as far as im concern your cock is going to end up inside my asshole and if you dont like me at least you like me enough to fuck me, and im not racist to any one who wants my cunt.

[Spunkinmyarse]

1 hour ago, hungry_hole said:

Are we going to start acting like women, who get offended if someone "objectifies" them? Hell no! I like sex with men because we objectify each other and we all love it.

Haha- I was thinking just the same!  I love being objectified: it’s an important part of my self-identification as a cumdump.  Now, if you only objectify men from certain particular racial groups, that’s clearly racist, but otherwise I think it’s a perfectly healthy part of the gay psyche.

Many of us here have struggled internally for years to free ourselves of the heteronormative standards imposed on us by society at large: don’t tell me I need to start wining and dining every potential fuck just to prove I respect them as people.

Edited August 18, 2020 by Spunkinmyarse

[blackrobe]

On 8/13/2020 at 3:20 AM, BlackDude said:

All this post tells me is that the gay “community” is not ready to have a real conversation about race. Most of the time, you are hearing from dudes who are whining about not hooking up with white dudes or who are not going to tell the truth because they are afraid of loosing sexual access to a certain group of people. Once a guy tells you he is not interested in having sexual access to you, most of these “preference” dudes feel powerless and are not interested in any conversation in which they are not in a power position. Just my opinion. 

Amplifying this voice.

[blackrobe]

3 hours ago, hungry_hole said:

Are we going to start acting like women, who get offended if someone "objectifies" them? Hell no! I like sex with men because we objectify each other and we all love it.

Setting aside the casual misogyny of your question, the point here is that men of color have a specific experience of objectification in our community that doesn't acknowledge their full humanity. That distinct experience isn't invalidated by the assertion that "we all objectify each other". There is plenty of research and scholarship in this area... 

Quote

 

Sexual Objectification and the Construction of Whiteness in the Gay Male Community
Niels Teunis

Culture, Health & Sexuality
Vol. 9, No. 3, Selected Papers from the IASSCS Conference 2005 (San Francisco) (May - Jun., 2007), pp. 263-275

Published by: Taylor & Francis, Ltd.

[think before following links] https://www.jstor.org/stable/20460929

Topics: Gay communities, Men, Objectification, White people, Queer culture, Male homosexuality, Racism, Black communities, African Americans, Gay rights movements

 

I find this paper's abstract quite incisive (all emphasis is mine):

Quote

This paper presents interview data and media analysis on the gay male community in the USA. It describes how sexual objectification is more than the outcome of racism in the gay male community. Sexual objectification of gay men of colour in the USA produces a white sexual community. Ideologies of inclusivity and non-discrimination blind white gay men to the harmful effects of sexual objectification. Moreover, discussing negative effects of objectification is met with considerable resistance. The experiences of African American men, described in this paper, show the pervasiveness of sexual objectification. The sexual objectification of men of colour forces them to play specific roles in sexual encounters that are not necessarily of their own choosing.

Listening to men of color about their lived experience and resisting any urge to minimize or negate it is a small thing, and quite literally the very least an "inclusive" gay community could be doing. 

[SpectreAgent]

5 hours ago, hungry_hole said:

Are we going to start acting like women, who get offended if someone "objectifies" them? Hell no! I like sex with men because we objectify each other and we all love it.

With respect, I think that’s rather missing the point. I like cock as much as any other man on here. I also like to know - and want to like - what it’s attached to. It is actually possible to do both if one treats others with the respect one would want in return. 

[Guest]

On 8/17/2020 at 7:50 AM, RawPlug said:

A man isn’t a life support system for a  penis.

I'm not...?   That's shocking. 🤔

[Spunkinmyarse]

53 minutes ago, blackrobe said:

...the point here is that men of color have a specific experience of objectification in our community that doesn't acknowledge their full humanity. That distinct experience isn't invalidated by the assertion that "we all objectify each other".

Now that, I kind of get.  My desire for objectification (to achieve sexual fulfillment) is mainly through choice.  But to have it thrust upon you simply because of your ethnicity must be a very different experience.

[Guest]

5 hours ago, hungry_hole said:

Are we going to start acting like women, who get offended if someone "objectifies" them? Hell no! I like sex with men because we objectify each other and we all love it.

Good point.

[Guest]

On 8/13/2020 at 12:20 PM, BlackDude said:

All this post tells me is that the gay “community” is not ready to have a real conversation about race. Most of the time, you are hearing from dudes who are whining about not hooking up with white dudes or who are not going to tell the truth because they are afraid of loosing sexual access to a certain group of people. Once a guy tells you he is not interested in having sexual access to you, most of these “preference” dudes feel powerless and are not interested in any conversation in which they are not in a power position. Just my opinion. 

Another good point. 

I am getting a bit lost in this post/thread.   Cause of course I see racism and biases also in the gay community. That's bad.

On the other hand we all 'like what we like' based (in part) on how the other(s) look.  Online people should and could be more correct by saying what/who they're into and not just write thing they don't like; e.g. "no femmes, no Asians" etc.

[hungry_hole]

1 hour ago, RawPlug said:

With respect, I think that’s rather missing the point. I like cock as much as any other man on here. I also like to know - and want to like - what it’s attached to. It is actually possible to do both if one treats others with the respect one would want in return. 

In terms of sex between men I make a distinction between anonymous and non-anonymous relationships. Anonymous encounters are meant to fulfill fetishes therefore respect plays no role in these situations. However, in non-anonymous relationships or encounters you have two people and respect has a place here. SO, yes, in a relationship it would make sense to me if a black guy would complain the way his white partner treats him.  But you won't change the world of anonymous sex.

 

 

[hungry_hole]

1 hour ago, Spunkinmyarse said:

 But to have it thrust upon you simply because of your ethnicity must be a very different experience.

The elephant in the room is the obsession men have with big cocks and it has nothing to do with ethnicity.

[blackrobe]

10 minutes ago, hungry_hole said:

The elephant in the room is the obsession men have with big cocks and it has nothing to do with ethnicity.

Some men certainly have an obsession with dick size, but I would assert that saying it has "nothing to do with ethnicity" doesn't pass the red face test. 

If that were so, there would be no dividing large dicks by their skin color and assigning them distinct abbreviations in the first place. By comparison, BBW for big breasted woman doesn't bake skin color in. It's worth considering why the two arguably similar shorthands are so different in their ethnic and racial scope. 

[BootmanLA]

12 hours ago, hungry_hole said:

Are we going to start acting like women, who get offended if someone "objectifies" them? Hell no! I like sex with men because we objectify each other and we all love it.

We clearly don't "all" love it, nor does everyone who does like it somewhat enjoy it to the same degree.

You're free, as someone suggested, to look at men as nothing but transportational assistance and life support for a penis, or to look at yourself as nothing but a hole for penises to unload in. Just don't be surprised that not everyone shares your outlook. Hopefully you make that belief system clear in public profiles, etc. so that anyone who might want even a little more than that knows better.

[BootmanLA]

5 hours ago, hungry_hole said:

The elephant in the room is the obsession men have with big cocks and it has nothing to do with ethnicity.

Except that the widely used acronym is "BBC" and not "BC". The very existence of a widely recognized acronym that has EVERYTHING to do with ethnicity/race kind of flies in the face of that assertion.

Yes, it's true that there is a broader preference (among at least a notably-sized portion of the gay community) for large-sized cocks. But the fact that big is popular doesn't render the term "BBC" race-neutral.