What's the Matter with (18+) Kids These Days

[alwaysready]

there are two songs in two different musicals which ask that question, given about younger folks.   in 'bye bye birdie'  it is 'kids' and in 'flower drum song'  it is 'the younger generation.' this answer will tell anyone with half a brain that i am of the age group where hollywood and broadway mattered, as well as The American Songbook.  sigh.........

[travelingbi]

As the song from 'Beauty and the Beast' says.........  'Tale As Old As Time'.  This is nothing new. It was the same when I began to cruise and do the bathhouses as a teenager. And it's true now that I'm an old guy. 

[chipygmalion80]

On 8/22/2021 at 8:45 AM, AirmaxAndy said:

find a 20-39 yr old tattooed top poz muscle bear into bondage and watersports

This ^

Search results: 1 -- yourself.  LOL

[BlackDude]

This is from a 50+ guy who sent me a naked pic after I stated I wanted ass. And you guys are talking about these younger adults….

 

Then the guy proceeded to go off me. Hahaha

Edited August 31, 2021 by BlackDude

[SpectreAgent]

"What's the matter with kids today?" was probably first said by Adam and Eve when Cain murdered Abel (think I have that the right way round as I'm only on nodding terms with the bible), has been said by every generation since and will be the universal lament long after we're all dead.

And for the record, this 50-something is finding guys in their 20s and 30s are - for the most part - pretty great.

[SpectreAgent]

On 8/23/2021 at 7:54 AM, AirmaxAndy said:

Haha, Oh yes, Mini Cooper Guys. I know them. I live quite close to a nature reserve that can be cruisey - apart from that it is a really nice place to walk and exercise so we're usually there 3x a week in the daytime. You get to recognise people. I find it quite amusing that Mini Cooper guys will post on Squirt that they're going there or that they are there and are up for fun. You'll then see Mini Cooper guy sat in his car glued to his phone oblivious to his surroundings. He'll sit there for five - maybe ten minutes, and then speed off dramatically with lots of wheelspin showering bystanders with gravel. You'll usually then see a post on Squirt a bit later saying 'its not worth bothering'.  Now if you hop on the apps (and he's usually on every single one) and try to engage while he's there you'll get ignored, and a bit later after he's gone home and had a wank, a message saying he didn't notice me and its a shame as he liked to have hooked up but he's all spent now. Next time? Maybe, but he plays the exact same game every time. 

I suspect he gets off on the idea of the anonymous hookup but has trouble bridging fantasy to reality. 

The real seam of gold at this particular place isn't Mini Cooper Guy, it's White Van Man. The spot seems very popular with tradespeople, builders, farmers and labourers looking for some relief on their way home. There's a tow truck driver who parks up there in between callouts on quiet days, who's particularly nice.  Once you're practised at making anxious 'straight' but bi-curious guys comfortable, it's a great source of cum. They won't go near people like Mini Cooper Guy. (And I bet that pisses him off)

 

You couldn't give us a few more specific directions to that nature reserve, by any chance, Andy? For research purposes only, obvs.

[Loveitraw]

It will always be true that no single group has the monopoly on dickheads.  It just seems that way when you are on the outside looking in.  There will always be those looking for something other, those that don't meet your criteria, and those that you miss while you were checking out the previous lot.

I try to be open minded, especially when cruising, but there are always those that for some reason put up a red flag.  These days I am easy going and comfortable in my own skin so if someone doesn't like what I have on offer so be it. Likewise if I am not interested I will move on.

Not every game is a jackpot winner.  But there's almost always enough in the prize pot to keep the players happy.

 

[AirmaxUK]

4 hours ago, RawPlug said:

You couldn't give us a few more specific directions to that nature reserve, by any chance, Andy? For research purposes only, obvs.

[think before following links] https://www.squirt.org/Cruising/cruising_details.asp?listingid=41031

I don't wholly agree with the Squirt description. Weekday afternoons and most early evenings when it is still light it seems to be M/M, after twilight more M/F crowd. Discretion needed as there are a lot of dog walkers and families at the weekend. Mostly it seems to be around the car park, but there is a massive rock hidden in the woods at ///nanny.empty.stops where people go to have fun. (What3Words) 

[Guest]

On 8/22/2021 at 7:26 AM, PhoenixGeoff said:

Is it just me or is the younger generations just kinda...lame?  I mean I think the way they are rebelling is by basically want nice little suburban lives with their husband and 2.5 dogs and nothing more out of the norm than a hush-hush trip to IML or something where they wander around watching stuff happen and collecting stories for their next dinner party.  Apparently they're all wanting to be Nancy Reagan now.

Do you know, I actually have seen them on multiple occasions LOOKING through a glory hole to see who's on the other side?  Way to completely defeat the purpose there!  You do understand that anonymous barebacking is your birthright as a homo, right?  Hell even the NY DPH says that in this time of Covid were should be having more anonymous gloryhole sex, not less.

Or maybe I'm just old and unattractive now.  Dog knows I never appealed to the pretty boy set who don't hit the baths to get laid so much as to stand around and conspicuously shoot guys down as some kind of Mean Girls kink.  It sucks because to the extent I was desirable in my 20s I was happy to get with men twice my age or more.  Hell, they could be some of the best sex I had (case in point the 50-something Chicago leather daddy who gave me my first fist).  

Seriously though, when did sex become about who you exclude?  That's what the straights do with their monogamy crap.  Sex for us is all about who you include, with as wide a variety from as many different ages, races, body types, experience levels, kinks, backgrounds, etc.  That's what will make you an interesting, experienced and well rounded lover.  Sex within the small circle of your "type" just makes you boring.

Since when did we have to approach consent as if we're all fucking females looking for an excuse to call a lawyer?  Non-verbal consent (through eye contact and gesture, through a touch, a brush, that tentative finger on the hole, through fucking dropping your pants and bending over and waving your ass as you finger lube into your hole; through grabbing at your crotch, outlining your bulge, pulling out your dick and stroking as you stare...all of these non verbally express interest in the context of a backroom, bath, ABS, cruisy park or restroom, etc. And yet, apparently these days we don't even approach a stranger in a dark room but only use it as a place to go in with the guy we already know.

And how the hell are these kids handed PrEP and PEP and U=U on a silver goddamn platter and somehow seem LESS likely to bareback then the men I met 20-25 years ago?

I'm quite pleased that I started barebacking routinely prior to the discovery of the cocktails.  I was taking anonymous loads in my ass before there was effective treatment, knowing the risks.  I love what that says about my sense of priorities when I was in my 20s.  What's the priority of kids in their 20s today? I dunno, a new Google phone?  Getting a thousand followers on Instagram? Figuring out how to carry on a conversation in the real world? (That's obviously not a priority)

It's kind of revealing that the one big new kink that's taken hold since 2000 is the pup thing.  Now, I love the workmanship.  I love the inventiveness.  I love the playfulness.  But I can't help but wonder if a big reason it's popular is that you get to hide your face in public and (in many cases) aren't allowed to talk to people except from barks, wags, and growls.

Now it's not everyone.  There are some awesome pigs in the 20- and 30- something set.  They are my hope for the future of gay men.  But they seem few and far between.  They certainly aren't the role models they should be.  For fuck's sake Pete Buttigieg is apparently who the next generation wants to be, Dog help us all.

When the fuck did we look at suburban life in Tulsa or Kokomo and decide, "You know? That looks pretty damn good!"  Safety and Boredom is apparently the life we want now.

If you go on reddit or other social media it is very strange how Gen Z'ers who are gay, bisexual, LGBTQXYZ, tend to:

Be completely out to everyone which is not a bad thing but to me it is very strange how many are in their early 30s or mid 20s and have never had sex with anyone, have never been on a date or had a partner, are super sex negative prudes into vanilla sex only, are completely clueless about how to have safe sex and the ones who are having sex are shocked when they become poz with HIV or Hep C from being a cum dump, tend to act like professional victim or doormat types, get deeply offended and angry when someone writes something they do not personally agree with, etc.

I am not claiming all or most are like this but many seem to be or the ones on social media brag about it.

[Guest]

On 8/22/2021 at 9:45 AM, AirmaxAndy said:

This isn't new - I've seen this kind of thing going on since I started out in the mid 90's. The tech we carry with us makes it easier and worse: I've seen people using the torch function on their mobile or smartwatch to illuminate a dark room.  

The apps seem to push this. A point I've made elsewhere, search filters are binary - you set them up to find a 20-39 yr old tattooed top poz muscle bear into bondage and watersports and it will filter all the non matching profiles out leaving a handful of perfect matches. Truth is there are a ton of guys who match 80% of your criteria who get filtered and you miss the opportunity and experience of engaging them. 

I've never been a fan of the pup scene - it doesn't turn me on because for see it seems to lack the sleazy edge that more traditional fetish scenes are built upon.  It's a "Disney" fetish - sanitised and acceptable. 

I've always held the opinion that what we see in porn, read on the forums here, and experience in interactions with profiles on sites like BBRT, NKP, BZ etc is 90% fantasy and 10% reality - and getting guys to jump from the fantasy to the reality is REALLY hard. 

In my opinion you have to find your people IRL - the bars, clubs, or cruising spots where they hang out.  Lockdowns made that hard, but it's beginning to recover a bit. 

yeah the dog mask sex kink where people pretend to be dogs or puppies is super popular for some reason? If someone wants to do this as a sex kink during sex only it is fine but the 24/7 dog roleplay is a bit too much. I would rather just get an actual dog instead.

[Guest WelshBBCigarFuck]

I do think the proliferation of gay apps hasn’t helped, when I was a youngster there was WorldLeathermen, WorldSkins etc (now all Recon) and Gaydar, no smartphone apps with unlimited mobile data or public wifi. Back then cruising was a park, public toilets or similar and you got what you could when you could.

Sitting in a cubicle waiting for someone to sit in the next one, feeling a foot tap yours under the partition, the odd little glory hole stuffed with tissues, that was hot - unfortunately cubicles now tend to extend to floor level and have metal panels so no glory holes.

When out at the bars, you’d meet people in the smoking area or at the bar, these days there are no smoking areas except the street and in the bars people are glued to their phone, it’s like the skills of hooking up and being social have been lost.

The other issues with the apps is the filtering, people have their preferred types and rigidly stick to it, ignoring anyone else - potentially turning down a great fuck simply as someone is a little older or doesn’t have a 6 pack (I’m happy with a keg lol).

One of the main things I do hate however, and unfortunately I do experience it more from the younger guys around here is a total lack of manners. More than once I have been messaged and because I don’t want a hook up right there and then, they get abusive, almost like a temper tantrum about not getting their own way. I’ve had guys turn round after asking me for a fuck calling me fat and ugly (then why ask for a fuck?), had them saying “I hope you get AIDS and die” (obviously without knowing the sequence of events from HIV infection), plus I am still neg. Then you get the ones who when you ask about when they were last tested the response is “I’m neg on PrEP” - that’s great, but there are more than half a dozen other things you could be carrying that I don’t want, being on PrEP doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get tested!

Frankly I got sick of it, I deleted Grindr, Gaydar and Recon. I tried NKP and realised after a week why I quit it the last time, so now I am on here, a couple of telegram groups and BBRTS only, at least the  crowd on here and BBRTS seem more level headed and have manners.

[Brittain02]

Not everyone needs to live their life the way you think life should be lived. 

Chill and stop thinking people exist solely to align with your perspective.

A lot of this just seems to stem from the bitterness of being rejected by someone much younger than you.

Edited February 22, 2022 by Brittain02

[evilqueerpig]

Being a Geezer QUEER at the age of 62, I'm qualified to talk.  When I was finding my way in the QUEER community, we were limited in opportunities and all of them involved meeting face to face.  My first man said, 'sexy comes in all shapes/sizes/colors/ages' and I still live by hose words today.  I spent the night of my 18th birthday at the baths and my SLUT gene kicked in, in overdrive.  That night, I did the rainbow and left there spent but satisfied and with the unquenchable hunger for more.  No cellphones, no apps, just a wide variety of men, looking for the full spectrum of sexual pleasures, even some I'd only later become familiar with as I embraced my kinky side, expanding my sexual horizons.  Granted, things were less complicated, before the 'plague', but for me, I made the conscious decision to remain a strict barebacker.  I met some of the most amazing men and with today's options, I might've missed out on some wonderful sex.  Yes, back then, guys were picky, but I'm speaking from my personal experience.

[Guest]

I agree with you about the apps and websites. I have had men ages 18-30 become super angry and abusive when I do not immediately reply to their text/message on the app or website and just block me. There are lots of scammers, narcisscistic Instagram hos that just want to collect followers, fake profiles, etc. I have been messaged by men who claim that they are very local to me but I have never seen them at bars, pubs, dance clubs, local LGBT social or volunteer groups, in shops or other local businesses, etc. Then when you ask them a question only someone local would know they do not reply.

I have nothing against men, women, or trans people who are doing sex for pay, or do what is called sex work now, but if I want to see a certain person or type of porn I can just find it online, and I do not pay for sex as there are enough men, women, trans people, all types of couples, etc. who will have sex with you for free.

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

On 8/22/2021 at 9:45 AM, AirmaxAndy said:

In my opinion you have to find your people IRL - the bars, clubs, or cruising spots where they hang out.

Amen to that. This gives you a chance to present yourself, and defeats the apps that may have taken you off someone's online radar.