Questions for bottoms!

[Binyfiken1500]

Well as you can see from my account here and my only post you will understand i like some cock from time to time. I identify myself as of now as a bisexual straightromantic......

I have this good feeling in my stomach when i think of bottoming and i would love to become a REAL bottom that just offers up my asshole to any top that need to get off (safe or not)

But i have this problem that im REALLY picky about who i fuck and when (as of now i OFTEN have post nut clarity and just backs out of some meetups, and i feel like that would change if i just threw myself out there.....)

I also have this bad feeling that i want to do something that society feels is odd as hell and therefore i got this mental block of shame i need to get pass in anyway.....

 

Now you know what i want and my problem..... the big question is then, do you have any ideas on how to get over the hump and just go for it?

PLEASE : Dont tell me to post an ad somewhere and get a cheap motelroom, im in Scandinavia in a city with like 50k inhabitants so it feels like i wouldnt be able to do that kind of thing....

[atlfukbud]

For me it was definitely a process -- from trusted pals, boyfriends and girlfriends to much later groups, hookups, then onto anonymous bare fucks, no questions asked, and so forth -- even today I love sex, but definitely still have my "TYPES" or favorites and tend to offer my hole up in an "anything/anyone goes" situation during a sauna or orgy situation when I'm really amped up and in a hyper sexual situation.  I do wonder about your post-nut clarity -- with me in the past, that can really be guilt, shame, shoulds, fear or worrying about what other people think more than listening to my own guidance. Enjoy the path!

[Binyfiken1500]

10 minutes ago, atlfukbud said:

For me it was definitely a process -- from trusted pals, boyfriends and girlfriends to much later groups, hookups, then onto anonymous bare fucks, no questions asked, and so forth -- even today I love sex, but definitely still have my "TYPES" or favorites and tend to offer my hole up in an "anything/anyone goes" situation during a sauna or orgy situation when I'm really amped up and in a hyper sexual situation.  I do wonder about your post-nut clarity -- with me in the past, that can really be guilt, shame, shoulds, fear or worrying about what other people think more than listening to my own guidance. Enjoy the path!

Well the "Post nut clarity" is more of a "i dont like guys, i like girls WTF am i doing? type of thing.....

 

Hard to find trusted pals or boyfriends.... i just feel like diving into the deep end and hookup right now but as i said, i am picky as hell and i have this hump that im doing something wrong....

[swoll]

3 hours ago, Binyfiken1500 said:

Well the "Post nut clarity" is more of a "i dont like guys, i like girls WTF am i doing? type of thing.....

 

Hard to find trusted pals or boyfriends.... i just feel like diving into the deep end and hookup right now but as i said, i am picky as hell and i have this hump that im doing something wrong....

I used to have that feeling post sex too. I found sniffing poppers and taking cock in the sauna soon pounded that out of me! 

 

Those feelings will pass and you'll realise there's no shame in the fact you derive pleasure from cock too, it can just take some getting used to for some guys 

[MuscledHorse]

I hear guys tell me all the time they wish they could have the large number of sex partners i do in a year or take the excessive size and use i am capable of or make porn like I do and i tell them all the same thing: just like going to the gym if you want to get physically fit, you have to get out and do it. For me, sex clubs are a great place to throw myself in. Unlike bathhouses that tend to have way too much cat and mouse cruising and teasing, guys at sex clubs are all there to fuck like dogs in heat. I can easily enjoy over 2 dozen partners at one in a single evening. No I don't care what the guys look like and am frequently playing on the edge of the dark area or on a fuck bench because all that matters is the hard penis going in me and giving my body that pleasure high as their erections stimulate my anal pleasure centers with each long thrust. It sounds like you are still struggling with the acceptability of promiscuous behavior because we are brainwashed by religious dogma from youth to be ashamed of our penises and feel guilty about our libidos. The best way to get through that is to commit yourself to doing it. Once you realize nothing about your life has changed, save for feeling more complete for having indulged, you will be back for more.

[ErosWired]

7 hours ago, Binyfiken1500 said:

i am picky as hell and i have this hump that im doing something wrong....

If these are your two main obstacles, then there’s not much anyone here can tell you to do in any practical sense that will address your problem, because your issues have their root inside your own mind. The only way you are going to resolve them is to resolve the underlying psychological hangups.

You’re picky as hell? Why is that? Dig a little deeper into that question. What makes it so difficult for you to be more open about potential partners? Do you think you’re too good for them or that they’re too good for you? Do you find that only a very specific set of physical features arouses you? If so, ask yourself why. Try to gain a deeper understanding into your own sense if same-sex attraction to comprehend what’s going on “under the hood” as it were. If you find that your attraction has to do with associating certain types of features with the features of a person from your past, dig into your feelings and memories about that time, event or person to try to understand why your tastes move that way. Once you know why you feel picky, you may feel that you’re able to give yourself some latitude to look beyond those narrow boundaries.

You’re afraid you’re doing something wrong? Define “something”, then define “wrong”, then ask yourself whose definitions you just used. Whose rulebook are you living by? Who gets to tell you what is right or wrong for your life? The general principle isn’t difficult: Love your neighbor as you love yourself, and act accordingly - do good things, and bring harm neither to yourself or anyone else. That’s pretty much it, an ethical life, boiled down.

If you’re trying to meet the expectations of “society”, good luck with that - “society” changes its mind more often than it changes its underwear, and whether you’re doing the “right” thing is entirely a function of where you happen to be standing at the moment. You and I could be discussing this in a bathhouse an no one would think a thing of it; shift the scene to a church pew, and it’s a scandal.

 If you want a take on the question from a dude who was pretty straight-up about life, try Solomon in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, in which he begins be explaining, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every purpose under heaven.” The world isn’t going to come to an end if you take some cock up your ass. Can you do it in a wrong-ly? Sure. I wouldn’t try it, for instance, in the middle of St. Paul’s Cathedral during Sunday services. Then, it would be arguably “wrong”.

But what I’m getting at is that you have to decide for yourself who you’re worried about upsetting. I was a virgin all the way through my undergraduate years in college (I know, pathetic) because I was concerned about offending God if I had sex. When a very kind friend finally relieved me of my virginity the following year, after it was over - I kid you not - I was halfway certain lightning would strike me when I went outside. I was somewhat surprised when nothing happened.

Once you give yourself permission to do this thing that seems natural to you, the feeling of “wrongness” should diminish.

[damsonffpig]

3 hours ago, MuscledHorse said:

I hear guys tell me all the time they wish they could have the large number of sex partners i do in a year or take the excessive size and use i am capable of or make porn like I do and i tell them all the same thing: just like going to the gym if you want to get physically fit, you have to get out and do it. For me, sex clubs are a great place to throw myself in. Unlike bathhouses that tend to have way too much cat and mouse cruising and teasing, guys at sex clubs are all there to fuck like dogs in heat. I can easily enjoy over 2 dozen partners at one in a single evening. No I don't care what the guys look like and am frequently playing on the edge of the dark area or on a fuck bench because all that matters is the hard penis going in me and giving my body that pleasure high as their erections stimulate my anal pleasure centers with each long thrust. It sounds like you are still struggling with the acceptability of promiscuous behavior because we are brainwashed by religious dogma from youth to be ashamed of our penises and feel guilty about our libidos. The best way to get through that is to commit yourself to doing it. Once you realize nothing about your life has changed, save for feeling more complete for having indulged, you will be back for more.

Thanks MuscledHorse  - Totally true and especially overcoming the brainwashed shame we are put through in our youth.  Feeling comfortable in our own skin and enjoying being naked is such an important step....there after we are natural sexual beasts there to experience and enjoy anal pleasure more and more.

[OzzieCumdumpster]

First of are the guys or places in your area specifically for males, if so, the next thing is toget yourself very horny, don't wank or have mf sex, and visit the or arrange to meet the guy. You will be so horny all your mind will want is sex, it is hard to think about anything else once you are in this state, this should get you over the hump.

For me I was well and truly over the hump at 13 down at the back oval of my school, when I get my first cock and from there I knew I needed cock.

[hntnhole]

11 hours ago, MuscledHorse said:

It sounds like you are still struggling with the acceptability of promiscuous behavior because we are brainwashed by religious dogma from youth to be ashamed of our penises and feel guilty about our libidos.

One adage that may help you, is to always ask yourself "If X is true, then why is it true"?  Reflecting on that question, and answering it to yourself truthfully can help you cull out the cultural bs that so many of us are raised with.  Since jag ar fod i Sverige, I know what "ficken" means, and the "bi" and the "ny "preceding it as well.  The "ny" may be appropriate, but ask yourself how true the "bi" part is.  Cultural pressure - particularly Scandinavian pressure - can be totally crushing if you allow it.  When conformity is the cultural goal - and it surely is that in your neck of the woods - only being completely honest in your own reflection can free you from the "hump".  I managed to come out the other side of the cultural/religious "hump", and you can too - with some honest reflection on what you want from life.  

When others ask us questions we don't want to answer, it's relatively easy to learn the art of the "parry".  When we ask ourselves questions, and try to parry, we're only fooling ourselves.  

Best of luck in your quest, and please forgive the "gamla bund Svenska" - it's all I know.

[phukhole]

Lots of good points made above. Most of it is in your head, and as such, you need to deal with it before it can go away or you can get over it. The post nut clarity is indicative of a good amount of guilt or shame over what you like.  As was mentioned above, you have a good deal of societal pressure to slough off there.  If I were in your shoes, I would plan a weekend away to a bigger city and have as much gay sex as possible and after each encounter, I'd post my experience here. People will respond and comment and you'll begin to feel acceptance of your needs and desires instead of shame.  If you had someone locally to confide in, it would do much the same thing since it would give you validation that you're no MORE different than anyone else, which I think would go a long way in making you more comfortable with who you are/what you like.  As far as being picky, go to a bookstore or sauna or theater and hit on someone randomly. Give in to the moment and the sensations or climb in a sling and slip on a blindfold.  Gloryholes can be good for this too.  When you don't know who is on the other side of the hole, pickiness isn't so much of an issue!  I, personally, LOVE anon sex and love to be blindfolded and gloryholes BECAUSE it removes any issues of types or preconceived expectations.  Give me that dick.  I've been happily surprised by who fucked well and who was sporting the mega-dick. Years later, I KNOW this in my core and it makes me much more comfortable with sex with anyone.

[theplayerking]

I find that articulating what you want out loud, over time, helps with inhibitions. Try looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror a couple times a day and say out loud: “I want to get fucked up the ass.” (Or some equivalent.) Then try saying the same thing softly while walking down the street. It sounds cheesy, but physically saying what you want (rather than just thinking about it) can help. 

[Binyfiken1500]

Thank you all for your answers! Trying to find someone closeby to talk to that are gay/bi and understand what i want 🙂 Hopefully he will help me to open up and just let loose....

Im also writing with a close female friend that isnt judgemental that knows me real well that supports me being a "fuckhole" as i call it 🙂

 

Hopefully it will go well and these brain blockers will slowly fade away!

Thank you all once again! :)