Being a cocksucker helps give me purpose

[camelblue]

Accepting that I'm a cocksucker has given me purpose. I grew up with a lot of social anxiety and I've always beat myself up for being shy, being cowardly, not speaking up for myself at work, not talking to the girl I really want, not being "alpha" enough. These things can make you feel terrible inside, like you're worthless, not good enough. 
I've always felt like I'm not brave. I'm afraid of a lot of things. I'm not the type of person to jump into a freezing cold pool. I'm not a person that will just take the plunge or do something in the moment. I've never been in a fight. If someone was bullying me, I won't defend myself as best as I could. All of these things make me feel insecure, weak, cowardly.

But at a certain point I realized, I shouldn't feel bad about being this way. I should just accept that this is my nature, this is who I am. So I'm a beta and not an aggressive dominant guy. I feel inferior to other men. So What? There's nothing wrong with that. I only began to become comfortable with this realization after I began to accept that my role and purpose was to be a cocksucker.

Once I let cock have power over me, all of these things that made me feel bad about myself began to sexually turn me on. All the times I was bullied as a kid by other boys, that feeling of being inferior to other bigger stronger boys, with cocksucking, I like being bullied. I like to feel inferior, to be overwhelmed by that dominating male energy. 
When I'm sucking cock, I'm at peace and feel comfortable about who I am. I want to be submissive, I don't want to speak up for myself. I want to be told what to do. I want to be bossed around by a cock. I want a more powerful guy to bully me around, make me feel beneath him. That big penis ramming my throat is where I belong and what I deserve, and I love it. Going out on a Friday night and putting myself under pressure to hit on a girl and try to take her home just seems stressful, uncomfortable and a lot of work. Compare that with going straight to a man's bed and feeling that big fleshy mushroom head in your mouth and getting fed a warm salty load, it's pure enjoyment and all you have to do is just be a cocksucker.

Ultimately, I feel like we're most alive when we give up control. We try to control everything in our lives, and that's how we stay in our comfort zones and never end up truly living. It's when we give up control that we are brave, fighting against our fears to do something. Everyone does this in different ways in life, but for me, that's pleasuring men and sucking cocks. That moment a man's pants come down and I first see his cock, it's an act of bravery putting it in my mouth, pushing away all the fears and worries about what society thinks about it, what my friends and family would think etc. It's brave just to give into your desires, to give up control and let this man and this cock give you a purpose. Once I take that leap and touch his cock, my only purpose is to do anything this guy wants to make him feel good. The cock comes first, I come second. This cock controls my world until it cums.

When he demands I open my mouth and stick my tongue out, that's my version of jumping into a cold pool. I'm not brave enough to jump in a pool or out of a plane, or to go talk to that girl, or fight the bully, but I'm brave enough to open my mouth for his load. Straight men aren't brave enough to do something like this. They'd be cowards compared to me. That makes me feel worthy and valuable. This is a way I get to feel powerful. It takes guts to allow yourself to be used, to give up your free will and do whatever this guy needs to get his maximum pleasure.

In the end, I feel like men give me purpose. Sucking their penises gives me a reason to be who I am. Making them cum gives me a goal, even if it's just small a 20 minute goal. Being submissive and eating their sperm lets me feel brave and fearless. In reality, I'm not weak, inferior, or worthless; I'm just a good cocksucker 😄
Curious if anyone else feels this way, I know we all suck for different reasons...

 

[hotguynkansas]

So HOT!

[subbeing]

i feel the same. Once i accepted what i am, each time i'm used, i feel a sense of completeness and peace, even when i am on the floor on my knees, bathed in cum, fucked and humiliated by the group of ALPHA MEN who just used me.

[YayForMe]

i realized today driving over to a guys house to suck his cock is that it's the only thing that I get excited about anymore..

[sirfirblu]

There's no reason for you to feel like you are somehow inferior. You are an empath. You get incredible please out of making someone else feel good. You are an advanced human being. You aren't worried about your pleasure (which I'm sure you experience while giving pleasure), instead you actually can feel the pleasure you are giving. That doesn't make you weak or a sissy, it makes you an advanced human being.

[hotguy02]

Yes I absolutely love pleasing my mature Daddy.   I get pleasure in pleasing him.