Are you out of his league ? 🤔

[Carlos1881]

So I’ve meet up with a guy and we’ve  hit it off really well  and says he’s into me but says ‘I’m out of his league’? 
 

What does he mean and has this happened to you ? 
 

Look forward to hearing your thoughts guys 

Have a great week 

Karl 😀

 

Edited December 12, 2021 by Karl8181

[ssoranaid]

His loss

[RawUK]

3 hours ago, Karl8181 said:

{he} says he’s into me but says ‘I’m out of his league’? 

Well he means one of two things....

1) Either he thinks he's superior to you in some way, so you are in a 'league' below him

2) Or he thinks you are in a league above him and so he doesn't feel good enough to be with you in a sexual way

If the answer is 1 then quite frankly he's not worth the effort as he's being shallow, but if it's 2 then if you really like him you may want to reassure him that you don't think in that way and give his ego a boost.

[AirmaxUK]

I believe the whole thing of "leagues" if awful. Telling a person that they are not in your league as a put down has a crushing effect on their self confidence and feeds their insecurities. Once that happens a few times a person will begin question if they are worthy of engaging with another because they are not in the 'same league'. Perhaps he's had that experience previously?  In reality we all have strengths and weaknesses - both physical and in our nature/character - and that takes time and effort to discover in a new acquaintance.  Is someone said they thought they were 'below my league' I'd tell them what attracts me to them to reassure them and try and build their ego and self confidence/assurance. 

Edited December 13, 2021 by AirmaxAndy
Clarity

[tallslenderguy]

11 hours ago, Karl8181 said:

So I’ve meet up with a guy and we’ve  hit it off really well  and says he’s into me but says ‘I’m out of his league’? 
 

What does he mean and has this happened to you ? 
 

Look forward to hearing your thoughts guys 

Have a great week 

Karl 😀

 

The way it's phrased it reads to me that he is feeling insecure, not superior?  If he qualifies that he is  "into" you, then follows with "but you are out of my league." 

i'd ask him for clarification about what he means when he says that, especially if you like him, why not strengthen communication vs guessing at what he means?  Especially if your exchange with him took place in writing, it's so easy to infer wrong things from written stuff, especially if we are feeling vulnerable and insecure. 

[cannero]

I was chatting to a guy years ago, he was really model cute, but not my type. Anyway he was discussing how nobody ever approached him in clubs and bars as they throught he was never going to respond to an "average" person*. Turned out he was jealous of "average" guys like me who were getting far more sex. I guess it all boils down to confidence really.

But I do agree , if I don't fancy anyone, I'd never resort to anything that would seem like a put down, it's horrible.

*my description, not his.

[hntnhole]

Given the phraseology in your question, I'd say the guy thinks you're way too hot for him to even hope to have sex with you.  Great responses above, so if you like him, figure out a way to let him know that you'd like to Breed with him.  Go get him, tiger !!!

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

Yeah, the whole "league" thing sucks and the world would be better if everyone got beyond it, but I'll admit I've been guilty of checking out a guy and being too intimidated to start a conversation. Self-confidence is great, but as I get older my self-confidence takes more and more hits. Usually self-imposed hits!

I guess the best we can do is take stock of everything that makes us personally awesome and keep it in mind as we approach the world. And know that regardless of how things work out, no one can take those traits from us.

[NastyRigPig]

As gay men we base so much on looks, that if you’re fit and trim and he has an average bod (or worse) he’s going to automatically think that you’re out of his league.  I remember in college I had a friend who was funny but shy and he never was successful when we went out to bars (this predates the internet).  I joked that he had a choice to make, work on the shyness (the rest of his personality was great) or make a shit ton of money. 

Yeah, he’s loaded now.  

[BootmanLA]

I agree with those who think this guy is insecure and thus thinks you're "out of his league" because he doesn't have a clear, objective view of whether he's attractive or not. (I assume you think he's attractive, but he doesn't seem to think he's "enough".)

As long as your interactions/socializing with him are "casual" (meaning: hang out as buds, or fucking without strings) I see no problems, really. But if you have an actual interest in dating the guy, just be aware: guys who are insecure like that will often (if not usually) be really dependent on constant reassurances, to the point it'll drive you insane trying to convince him you really do like him. And if he's still not convinced, he might well sabotage the relationship by constantly insinuating you must be cheating (because a man like him could never be enough for a man like you), to the point where he drives you away - and then he feels vindicated because he was dumped by a man he thought was "out of his league".

So just know what you're getting into, and make it clear to him that you'll be appropriately supportive and reassuring but you can't solve his issues for him.

[gangbangsuperstar]

that’s one of the reasons I have always loved taking bathhouse loads very publicly while blindfolded. it sends a clear message that I do not care at all about what the guys fucking me look like, their age, race, height, weight, looks are completely irrelevant so even if a guy thinks I’m out of his league he can be pretty sure I will take his load cause I obviously take ALL loads. plus it gets me bred by the maximum number of guys and I get to feel like and look like such a dirty slut taking anon loads from nameless, faceless strangers. for a true cumdumpster there are no such thing as leagues. just males looking for a fuckhole to fuck and pump full of cum.

[BoyStrangler]

On 12/14/2021 at 1:26 AM, gangbangsuperstar said:

that’s one of the reasons I have always loved taking bathhouse loads very publicly while blindfolded. it sends a clear message that I do not care at all about what the guys fucking me look like, their age, race, height, weight, looks are completely irrelevant so even if a guy thinks I’m out of his league he can be pretty sure I will take his load cause I obviously take ALL loads. plus it gets me bred by the maximum number of guys and I get to feel like and look like such a dirty slut taking anon loads from nameless, faceless strangers. for a true cumdumpster there are no such thing as leagues. just males looking for a fuckhole to fuck and pump full of cum.

Every male with a hard cock is in your league whore.

[Close2MyBro]

Maybe he's using reverse psychology and just wants to see you beg for him because you think he's out of your league and it gives him a cheap thrill to see you try.

If he was really focused on hot sex he wouldn't get all tied up on looks.

[BlackDude]

If you’re speaking of dating, I would tend to think that equates to either lifestyle or money. If your are a high earner, achiever, etc. he may feel like being with you be additional pressure, insecurities or stress he’s not ready to tackle.

For example, if your a 32 with a six pack, and he has an extra few pounds, there would be some internal pressure for him to work out and eat right.

Or if he’s comfortable being a fry cook, and you’re a CEO, they power dynamic is too imbalanced. More likely than not, he’s either going to have step his game up with you, or come to the realization he is going to have no control in the relationship as far as finances. 

[hntnhole]

12 hours ago, BlackDude said:

he is going to have no control in the relationship as far as finances

Yes, and there may be a way around that particular (and fairly common) situation:  The two (presumed to a committed relationship), regardless of the extraneous details (like who does the dishes, who shops for what, who does the laundry, who gets to fuck other guys and when, who gets whored out and when), would be to create a "balance sheet" of income/outgo regarding expenses, and each guy contributes to the household relative to his ability.  One guy's contribution could be 20 bucks, the other's could be 2 G's.  The figures don't matter, the fact that each contributes according to his ability matters.  There can be scheduled re-visiting the arrangements, if that's desirable.  Each guy contributes to the arrangement, and each guy gets what he needs from it.  All that's really needed, is an honest, forthright "contract" between the two (or, perhaps more) guys involved.  It can work, if each guy works it.