The “thrill” of Hard to Get - Turn On or No?

[NorfolkUK]

So I know to a lot of people this might sound bad, but I’ve had guys on sex hookup sites who look fantastic in their photos and send me a message. It’s obvious what they want, but despite it being a hookup site, they still seem to want me to ‘chat them up’ as if we’d met in a bar.

No matter how sexy they are, or how much I’d love to hook up with them, I can’t be bothered with a chase. I always am very direct about trying to arrange meets with this type of person, but then they predictably go quiet after that.

Is it just because it makes them feel less of a slut, as if morals come into anything on these sorts of sites? Or are they just time wasters?

Does it turn you on when someone plays hard to get, or do you just get bored like me and move onto the next guy, even if they’re extremely hot?

[Nclchub]

I'm not a fan of the hard to get routine on hookup sites (bbrt, grinder etc) . If I wanted to go through that I'd just go to a bar or use one of the less Hook up focused apps. 

[RubberAustria]

I am a fan of Sex-Clubs. Pay-enter-drink-fuck/fist/piss-cum/cum/cum-pay-wash cock- go home. Life can be so easy.Amen

[BootmanLA]

4 hours ago, NorfolkUK said:

So I know to a lot of people this might sound bad, but I’ve had guys on sex hookup sites who look fantastic in their photos and send me a message. It’s obvious what they want, but despite it being a hookup site, they still seem to want me to ‘chat them up’ as if we’d met in a bar.

No matter how sexy they are, or how much I’d love to hook up with them, I can’t be bothered with a chase. I always am very direct about trying to arrange meets with this type of person, but then they predictably go quiet after that.

Is it just because it makes them feel less of a slut, as if morals come into anything on these sorts of sites? Or are they just time wasters?

Does it turn you on when someone plays hard to get, or do you just get bored like me and move onto the next guy, even if they’re extremely hot?

I suspect that some are indeed time wasters, but also some people, despite just wanting sex, want that sex to be with someone that they actually might kind of like.

And there's nothing wrong with that; just as there's nothing wrong with believing you don't need to know anything more about the guy than that he's willing to fuck, and now.

But that's those are the kind of things that have to be made clear. So: if your profile says "I'm not interested in idle chat; I'm ready to fuck, so let's not waste time with pleasantries", you're in the clear. You made your interests known, and those who can't follow your lead can be safely ignored.

On the other hand, if you HAVEN'T been that explicit, then you can't blame them for feeling you out to see what sort of guy you are. 

[Farmerw]

just la put it it out there for me I mean I like transparent tha

t you either want it or you don't

No it's r no thrillal until you're actually doing it and it's too much work to play like you do or you don't

Transparency up front

Edited December 30, 2021 by Farmerw

[BBDreamer]

I can't answer to why people act the way they do. Maybe for some, it's about the chase and not the prize. Maybe others are just dreaming about actually hooking up. But, Man! I'm liking the look of your dick. If I was on a hook-up site and local to you I would jump at the chance to take your raw cock and load.

[Davidc]

Completely uninterested in hard to get prissy queens , that’s why I like dark rooms - the gym are complete slags ( but often some of the nicest , happiest guys I have met .

[JamesL100]

Could be they are filtering multiple offers? Choosing one rather than inviting 10 guys for an orgy.
Or could be their ego needs so attention they enjoy the chase / being chased.

[tallslenderguy]

Great discussion!!

i think this can go a couple of ways. To me, guys who are so attracted to their self that they cannot appreciate what they consider to be lesser, are a total turn off. Sex for me is about compatibility, mutual attraction and connection. The best sex by my estimation is symbiotic, balanced, where each is into who and what the other is.

That segues into this: there are a lot of guys who do not want to have much or any exchange, discussion prior to hook up. i'm the opposite, i want to know and share as much about our sexual desires prior to hook up as each is willing to divulge. To me, that is getting the details out of the way and, more importantly, determining compatibility before going to the trouble of meeting. Once i hook, all of that is established and we can get into sex because we already know what we're about.

Guys who just want to get together and see what happens? No thanks, to me that is more often than not, a waste of time and a failed hook up. Empty profiles? No thanks.

To me, online discussion is foreplay, and i know it can be construed by some as "endless emails" or fantasy fodder. i get that, i've been burned plenty of times by flakes, but i have hooked many guys that way too, and the sex is usually a lot better.  In this case, discussion is not being hard to get, but about establishing a match.

[downtownswallow]

I'm very selective....but not hard to get.  

[Mcv69]

I 100% know why bottoms want me and that’s for my 9 inch cock. I don’t care if they use me im happy to be of service to them. 

[hntnhole]

9 hours ago, Davidc said:

that’s why I like dark rooms

You and me both.  I wonder how many hours  - years ago - I wasted on the cruise sites.  I don't like to fuck guys that aren't "present", off on some damn "cloud" somewhere. As the online stuff got more and more full of junkies, I just quit them.  Haven't missed them one iota, either. 

Qualifier:  in the darkrooms, I'm sure there are plenty of drugged-up holes, and I couldn't care less.  In the darkrooms, they're already there, full of Seed off other Cocks, ready for more, and that's all I care about in the fuckjoints.  I have a few fuckbuds that come over, or I go to their place, and these are guys I know, they're not junkies, and I do give a rats ass about them.  A couple of beers or a smoke (as in weed) is one thing - the rest, no thanks.

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

Based on my experience, I'm going to guess that a number of those pictures from chatty accounts are not really that person (or their cock, ass, etc.). They want to talk about what you will do to them if you do meet, shoot a load into a Kleenex, and then ghost you when they can't deflect talk of actually physically meeting.

I guess I should add that I do agree with others when they say to make sure your profile states what you are looking for. If I want a long "will he or won't he" conversation, or even friendship building to a relationship of some sort, I'll make sure my profile states this.

Edited January 3, 2022 by YourNoLimitsBottom

[BlackDude]

There is really no such thing as “hard to get.” What that really means is they are deciding  if they want to fuck you while waiting for a better option. 
 

 

[Bwccummer]

I find some can tell as chat with may not be interested or figure out not to meet or a good match. Thus a turn off when figure not work if one wants a picture. I asked one why want picture when realized not work out. They didn't have a answer. I didn't send a picture. 

I figure share pictures if mean actually interested and want to meet. Otherwise can seem a time waster. As one as a top I found some can as potential bottom say some disturbing, ignorant or annoying things.  I had a item next to bwc that if knew the size that real. However some I guess think is small or just trick into see and then they block or ignore or I guess play hard to get. I think the worst comment was one clueless in item for size comparison. 

Sometimes want to meet but time at moment is not good. However later would work but may not for them. Some ask what seems endless questions to where figure not to meet and maybe just want a chat.

Then seems the whole attitude some have that I guess picky or playing games that initially may be interested but if have attitude to meet no matter what, even if say a hurricane or freezing temperatures that figure not look outside window or even check the weather. 

I can get if one is a stud and have many guys show interest in that they trying to decide who to meet. Then have some be picky and if too picky not meet anyone.  Can seem sometimes like too much work to meet up, especially if host or travel. Thus if play hard to get that gotten to where not care to make super effort to meet up when know many too picky, flaky or just picture collectors. If a picture collector why not pictures from those looking to hookup if not actually looking to hookup? Also can't they look at porn online, in a magazine or video and leave the rest of us alone? Or need real pictures of bwc but not want to meet or maybe afraid of so use as imagination stimulate to wack off. I honest don't get some want just pictures when can have the real thing in person. 

I will end with if one is playing hard to get that not bother to want to meet. I also wish individuals act better. If want a picture to be forthright about but know this. One may get a picture or not but not likely to meet. Also figure ok may get a picture but guarantee miss out on great bwc in person if just want a picture and potentially blocked. Also if one acts like full of it that a good way to get blocked.