Solemn Vows (part 2 in the Denial Trilogy)

[Spermpig]

This story is a continuation of the one found here.

“Kurt, I think I’m sick.”

I called him that afternoon, as I was starting to feel gross at work.  Achy.  And my skin kind of hurt, which was a sure sign I was running a temperature.

“Oh baby, I’m sorry!” he said, barely masking the giddiness in his voice.  “And do you mean ‘sick’ sick?  Like, do you think it’s the, um, you know…  Flu?”

I smirked a bit at this as I pictured how excited he probably looked at that very moment.  “Yeah, stud.  I think this is it.”

“Awwww.  You head home, and I’ll leave work early and take care of you.  Gotta take care of my honeyhole!”

“Yeah yeah.  You say the sweetest things.  See you later.  I’ll probably be napping.”  I hung up.

I really did feel like hammered shit, which is exactly what I told my boss before heading home for the day.  And by ‘home’ I mean Kurt’s place- which I guess technically was my place too, as I’d basically moved in almost immediately after our first weekend together.

It was basically a done deal the instant we kissed in my car.  And the fuck he threw me on Labor Day weekend sealed the deal.  That first fuckfest saw him breeding me 4 times over a span of 6 hours and basically ruining my insides from all angles.  The next morning, I shat so much cum (and a fair bit of blood) that I actually called him to the bathroom to witness his handiwork.  Naturally, that turned him on and led to another round of me being used randily before breakfast. I had to beg him for prep time!

With a fresh load of his DNA in me, we sat down to a breakfast of eggs and coffee, which he had thoughtfully prepared for us while I showered.  And that’s where we said the “L” word to each other for the first time. We were sitting at his small breakfast table, eating in silence, bathed in bright morning sunlight.  He looked so fucking hot in just his loose pajama bottoms with his hair all mussed up.  He caught me staring and with his mouth still full said “Whut?” And I just shrugged and said, “Nothing.  Just… I love you, is all.”  That was the first time I’d officially said it to anybody.  I was always worried that I would have to fake it, or just always do the “I love you too” thing.  But no.  This was easy.  And I meant it completely.

He beamed at me and then his face crumpled a little as he got a little emotional.  “Wow.  That is… just, so good to hear because… because I love YOU.  I knew when you kissed me in your car after I bawled like a little bitch.”

“I knew I loved you when you said ‘As you wish’ to me.”

“Well, I knew I was into you when you yelled at me at the sex party.  I was angry, ashamed, and sad all at the same time, which nobody has made me feel since Bo.  So there were definite… feelings… there.”

“Well, I knew I was hopelessly infatuated when you ‘mean girled’ me at the bar.  Anyone able to eviscerate me with a mere look like that?  Big feelings.”

He chuckled and pointed his fork at me.  “Oh, so is this a competition on who was into whom first now?”

“Everything is a competition, bucko—and from where I’m sitting?” I gave him a long, slow, up and down appraisal.  “I definitely won the big *cough* prize.”

“It’s kind of amazing you’re able to sit at all, actually,” he said flippantly.  And we laughed.

The rest of Labor Day was spent talking and fucking, and ordering pizza as new couples do.  Eventually I had to tap out, as my ass was raw and ruined and I was starting to fear that everything on the inside of me may just accidentally end up on the outside if I stood up quickly.  But let me tell you.  It was so fucking hot to take a nap with his cock lodged inside and his arms wrapped around me.  I felt so taken care of that I completely zonked for like 2 hours.  Until I awoke to his stiffening dick poking my spleen.  Again.

Eventually I drove him back to pick up his car which we had left at Tom’s house.  We went our separate ways (briefly) so I could pick up some clothes and toiletries and meet him back at his.  From there, Kurt and I rapidly settled into coupledom.  Most of our meals were spent together.  TV and movies on the couch.  Sleeping together.  Fucking.  Kurt even got a family membership at his gym so we could work out together.  It was all so disgustingly domestic and I loved it.

Since Kurt’s condo was infinitely nicer than my shithole apartment, it naturally became our home base.  I already had part of a closet and some drawers.  All my valuables had been transferred over, and other than some occasional trips to show my neighbors what good gay sex sounded like or to pick up random items, I’d been at “our place” ever since.

Which is where I found myself now, shivering, and under blankets on the couch.  I took some ibuprofen, drank some juice, and curled up to watch some shitty daytime TV.  The next thing I remember is feeling his lips (and stubble) on my forehead.

“Hey babe, how you feeling?” he asked quietly.

“Pretty meh,” I mustered.

“Yeah, I remember what it was like.  You’re most likely seroconverting now, and your body is gonna feel it.”

“Maybe it’s just a cold.  There’s been a lot of crap going around,” I offered, mainly to rile him up a little.

“Are you suggesting that I’m not as fertile as I claimed to be?” he said in mock frustration.

“Well, I dunno.  It’s been almost two months with near daily breedings.  Maybe your swimmers just can’t get me pregnant?” I shrugged nonchalantly.

“You fucker,” he growled.  “You’re gonna regret that.”

  *     *

I was feeling a touch better later that evening, after some soup and a long nap.  I woke up on the couch, and Kurt was sitting in the chair across from me, naked, and watching me sleep.  He was also slowly jacking that enormous meat of his.

“Wakey, Wakey… time for snakey,” he sing-songed.

I rolled my eyes.  “Are you serious, coming at me with that?  I’m tired and feeling gross.  I probably have just enough energy to get in bed.”

“Oh, we’re getting in bed alright,” he stated.  “That’s where I’m going to fuck you.  It’s been two days and I need to empty these nuts.”

“Stud, I don’t know if I….” I started.  He cut me off.

“This isn’t a request.  I AM going to fuck you.  You’re converting.  You know it.  I know it.  And I want to put one more fat, poz load in your guts to seal the deal.”  His amber eyes had that dark glitter about them, so I knew he was in full sex mode at this point and would not be dissuaded.

So I hauled my ass off the couch, popped 3 more ibuprofen, and headed to the bathroom to prepare myself.

When I walked into the bedroom, I was expecting that porn would be going, and the sling to be up and ready.  But no.  Soft music was playing and the room was lit by several electric candles scattered about to give the space ambiance.  He was standing next to the bed, all shy looking.  In the center of the bed was a towel with a single red rose on it.  Naturally the lube and poppers were handy too.

“What’s all this?” I asked, confused.

“This will be our anniversary, so I wanted it to be special,” he said kind of sheepishly.

“I thought our anniversary was the day before labor day...  When we first got together?”

“Well, that’s one anniversary, yeah,” he said.  “But tonight will be the anniversary of when we become joined by a bond that can’t be broken and you become mine forever.”

Even in my not-feeling-so-great state, hearing him talk like this was doing it for me.  I felt myself boning up and feeling that need for seed.  I walked over to where he stood and looked up at him expectantly.  He kissed me then, and just like it had done since the very beginning, it electrified my senses.

“Tonight is all about you, babe,” he said.  And he proceeded to kiss down my body, slowly.  And then he engulfed my swollen dick with his mouth.

This was a bit of a different side of Kurt, and I wasn’t sure where it was all going.  I mean, I was most comfortable in the roll of “bottom cumdump”.  I get off on guys just using me selfishly for their pleasure.  Being used as a hole is what turns ME on most- the more degrading the better.  A guy just using me as a human fleshlight will make my toes curl every time, and if he verbally degrades me during I’ll most likely cum no handed.  So having Kurt be the attentive one was definitely throwing me off a little, but I decided to go with it.

After sucking me a good long while, he slowly spun me around, bent me over the bed, and started eating my ass.  This was also something he rarely did- as it was typically my job to eat his.  But I fucking love being rimmed, and his stubble and stache grating against my hole were lighting me up like a Christmas tree.  Pretty soon I was begging for his dick to be inside me.  I got pretty insistent about it, which earned a huff of a laugh into my twitching butthole.

“Ok, buckaroo, I can see what you need,” he smiled as I crawled to the middle of the bed.  I smelled the rose before flinging it to a nightstand.

“Woses… how owdinawy,” I said, doing my best Madeline Kahn.

He genuinely laughed at this and favored me with one of his megawatt smiles.  “You are so fucking corny-  I love you.”

“I know,” I said with a smirk.  “It WAS a red rose after all.”

“Yes.  Red.  For Love… and blood,” he growled, his eyes hooded and gleaming.

“I need your dick in my mouth.  Now,” I commanded.  I figured if this was all about me tonight, I was gonna be a bossy bottom.

“As you wish,” he quipped, as he maneuvered himself to present his massive tool for my enjoyment.

Kurt’s cock really was just about the biggest I’d ever seen.  I may have sucked a couple bigger ones in my day (some longer, some thicker) but his was definitely at the farthest end of the bell curve.  It was like a true 9, and also very girthy.  Straight and hard, with a darker, ruddy flared head on it.  The shaft was almost the same thickness for the entire length- like a thicker can of red bull.  But there was a magic spot about an inch and a half down from the head, where the shaft bulged ever so slightly thicker.  This is what made his cock special.  The way that thicker portion tugged out on my hole when fucking me, or feeling it just push past my second ring… fuck.  It was absolute heaven in flesh form.

I worshipped his meat with my mouth as best I could.  I’ll fully admit, I’m a terrible cock sucker.  I do it, but mainly just to get the cock wet for my ass.  I have a terrible gag reflex and my jaw and neck always get tired doing it.  But feeling his cockhead lodging in my throat definitely got my engine revving.

Taking additional advantage of the “it’s all about me” night, I decided that I was going to ride his cock for something new.

I know, right?  Sex for two months, and I hadn’t ridden his cock yet?  Outlandish!  But yeah, we never had.  I’m a big fan of doggy and/or sling fucks (again—I like being used) and Kurt was only too happy to oblige me in this regard as he was definitely an alpha top ass-user.  I mean, I’d been on my back on the bed a bit, and on my side and stomach.  But it was all where Kurt was in control of it all.

I pulled my mouth off his cock, grabbed the lube, and started slathering his cock (and my hole) while he lay there, his hands still behind his head.  He made a move to get up and I shook my head and pushed him back down gently.  He looked at me quizzically, but quickly cottoned on when I started moving up to straddle him.

“Well, this is… different,” he said, a bit unsure.

“All about me, remember big guy?” I said as I positioned his head at my hole.  I took a big hit of poppers and got ready.

“As you… OH!” he said, as I slammed myself all the way down on his dick.

It hurt.  My god it hurt like hell to do it like that!  And his head was wedged up against my second ring which was DEFINITELY not open yet.  But I wanted it to hurt.  I also wanted to show him I could take him and take my pleasure from him.  I paused with him in me, my eyes squeezed shut in a grimace, sweat beading on my forehead.

“Jesus, bud, you ok?” He said with some genuine concern.

“This is our anniversary, so we better make this count.” I gritted out.

I hit the spray poppers next, and slowly started to fuck myself on his prong.  By about the third stroke, I was able to pop him into my second ring, and I left it there for a minute as I milked him with my hole.  He growled in appreciation as I knew he would, and I bent down to kiss him.  I loved kissing him as I was fully impaled on him!

We fucked like this for awhile.  I was getting quite the leg and hip workout riding up and down for that full length.  He was assisting me by having his meaty hands at my hips, helping to lift me up and pulling me down.  Occasionally he would reach up to flick my nipples, knowing this would send my hole into a milking frenzy on his dick.

He could sense I was getting tired though, so eventually he pulled me down to a kiss, and then slowly worked me onto my back.  It was time for me to be used, and I started to tell him so.

“Sir, I need….”  He loved it when I called him Sir.

“Shhhhh,” he interrupted me.  “I know.  Don’t you think I know what you need by now?”

He moved the pillow from behind my head and spread my legs a bit.  He cupped his hands at my knee pits so he could push my legs down and out.  And then he started to drill my hole.  Hard.

I was in full fuckpig mode at this point, so there was nothing but pleasure for me in his wrecking my cunt.  His cock was making the heavens open up when he went deep, and the tug on my hole was tingling all my nerve endings.  And all that meat in between was like a Mack truck driving across my prostate.  He was going to force my load out no-handed again… it was just a matter of time.  I just hope I could hold out as long as him.

Eventually he got my knees up on his shoulders so he could really piston into me with his full weight.  I cupped my hands around the back of his neck so I could stare at him as he wrung his pleasure from me.

“Cum in me, sir.  Please.  Please, sir,” I begged.

“I’m getting so close, bud.  Gonna knock up that sweet ass of yours once and for all,” he grunted.  “Gonna make you mine.  You’re gonna be mine forever after this.”  He was really fucking me with everything he had now.  I could feel his cock getting that little extra bit harder that he did right before he came.  I knew all of his tells now.  I waited until I could see the orgasm in his eyes.

“Until death do us part,” I whispered.

With a loud “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!” he unleashed his toxic seed deep inside me.  He made sure to plant his cock all the way to the hilt so I could feel his head pulsing up past my second ring because he knew I liked that the best.

When his orgasm subsided, he noticed I hadn’t cum yet.  So without me having to ask, he got his hands in my knee pits again, and started fucking me slowly with his still hard cock.  He stared at me intently as he did this.  Then he started his verbal assault.

“You liked that, didn’t you, you fuckin pig?  You liked me leaving a fucking cumload deep in that cunt of yours?  That filthy fucking pig cunt?  You’re just a fuckin hole to me, you know that?  I just say all the love crap to keep you hot for my dick.  You’re nothing but a fucking cum receptacle.  A hole.  A cock socket.  You exist to get my dick off.  And guess what, you stupid fucker?  I’m POZ!  You just got filled with a dirty fuckin load.  I’m grinding that toxic seed into your ass walls. Hope you like getting pozzed up you stupid fucking….”

“UGGGGGGGHHHHHH!” I cried, as my first volley of cum spattered my chest and chin.  Several more spurts came afterward, as I unloaded my balls everywhere.  He kept fucking me slowly to push out every drop.  I shook with ecstasy every time his cock pushed deep.  He buried himself in me, and then started playing with my nipples.  It was almost more than I could bear and my asshole danced like mad on his dick.

“Fuck, you’re gonna milk out another one!” he warned.  Without pulling out, he worked me onto my hands and knees, and started throwing the dick to me again.  Hard and fast.

As I had already cum, I was kind of in “exit only” mode, but I also knew I wanted to get him off again.  So I hit the poppers hard and let him have me.  I do my best bottoming work doggy, and have been known to pull the load out of a guy with my ass skills.  So I set to working and milking and gripping my hole on him, all while throwing my ass back to meet his thrusts.  It was not long before I was treated to a long, guttural grunt and the quick throb of his cock inside me, signaling that I had just done my job successfully yet again.

This time, when he was finished, he pulled out slowly and then smacked his wet dick on my ass.  We collapsed in a heap on the bed.

As we cuddled later, and as I was starting to drift off, he said, “You know I didn’t really mean that bit about…”

“Shhhh,” I interrupted.  “Being in love means never having to say you’re sorry for things said to get your cock socket to cum no handed.”

“Dork,” he chuckled.

        * *

About a week later when I was basically back to feeling like myself, Kurt suggested that it might be time for me to get to the doctor.

“Just to confirm our suspicions, you know.  For the sake of science,” he said.

“You just want to know if your track record is still intact, you sick fuck,” I said jokingly.  “I’ll call and set up something for next week or so.”

“Keep me posted,” he hummed happily.

I was masking my feelings pretty well around Kurt and I kept up my typical jovial banter, but inwardly I was concerned.  Concerned and worried and nervous and scared and a whole lot of other emotions.

Ok, so maybe I had technically been ‘bug chasing’ in a matter of speaking, but it wasn’t really about that.  It was more about getting Kurt, not about getting sick.  He just happened get off on pozzing guys, so that was the tradeoff I decided to make.  And it was indeed my decision, one which I fully embraced.  I chose to let him breed me that first time, to give him what he wanted.  I could have done the day after treatment, but I chose not to.  And I also chose—repeatedly—to let him try to convert me through almost daily breeding sessions.  But now, after having a week of fever and chills, it suddenly became real.  Like REAL real.  Like “what have I done” real.  Was it worth it?  Was Kurt worth it?  What would happen next?

I found myself worrying about healthcare for the first time in my life.  And job security.  And HIV stigma.  And medication cost.  And side effects.  And sickness.  I knew I needed to find out early in order to get started on a pill regimen if I was positive, but I didn’t want to take that first step yet.

But the ‘what happens next’ question also applied to other aspects of my life moving forward. And would I be moving forward with Kurt.  Was there even an ‘us’?  I know Kurt said he wanted to convert me so that we could be together forever, but I couldn’t help but wonder if he was really serious about that.

And all this is what paralyzed me and kept me from setting up a doctor’s appointment.

These thoughts were consuming my brain every minute of the day and causing me to spiral down the rabbit hole of unknowns.  I was unfocused at work and I wasn’t sleeping well.  And I was really starting to get depressed.  At home, I was becoming quiet and lethargic.  I was even starting to beg off going to the gym with Kurt (which I normally enjoyed).  I mean, who wouldn’t want to go watch their boyfriend in tight gym clothes, lifting weights, getting all sweaty and making other boys drool?

Anyway, I managed to keep Kurt at bay for an additional two weeks or so, with flimsy excuses as to why I hadn’t gone to the doctor yet.  I was tired.  I had to work.  The holidays had me down.  There weren’t any appointments before Thanksgiving. Let’s wait till December between the holidays.  Finally, Kurt started losing his patience with me.

“Dude, you need to get tested,” he grumbled.  “Don’t make me withhold sex from you.”

“HA! As if you could say no to all this,” I laughed, while gesturing to myself.  I was desperately trying to deflect where this conversation was headed.

“C’mon.  We need to know.  YOU need to know.  You aren’t scared about it or anything, are you?” he goaded.

“No, I’m not scared,” I lied.

“Then why haven’t gone in?  It’s seriously like 10 minutes and done.  Easy peasy.”

“There just hasn’t been a good time for me,” I said weakly.

Kurt gave me ‘the look’ over the tops of his gold frame 70’s aviator frame glasses that made him look like a porn star.  “Do it.  Before this weekend.”

“Oh Yes SIR,” I saluted.  As much as he liked me calling him Sir, he did NOT like it when I used it sarcastically.  This earned me an exasperated sigh and a ‘time out’ until dinner.

And as you can probably guess, the end of the week rolled around and I still hadn’t gotten tested.  Kurt had actually been good and not brought up the subject since our little spat earlier in the week.  He also let me mope about without peppering me with more questions.  I figured he was finally giving me space, which was nice of him.  And he definitely had NOT withheld on the sex, thank God, although the volume was way down, which added to my fears, as Kurt basically needed sex daily.

Still, I’d been pretty quiet and introspective all week and it didn’t go unnoticed.  When I got home on Friday, I found him waiting for me expectantly.

“Get changed, Eyore.  I’m taking you out on a date,” he said.

Perhaps this is what I needed to help get my mind off things.  So, I did as I was instructed and got ready.  As I was choosing what to wear I called out, “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere fancy, just the usual.  But wear the 501’s.  I wanna show off my boyfriend’s hot ass.”  Oh yes sir, I thought and smiled for the first time all week.

We hopped in his car, and he reached over and held my hand as we drove.  We listened to music and I just let him drive and was happy.  But then I noticed we were not exactly going to our typical restaurant areas.

“Babe, where exactly are we going?” I said, as I started to get alarmed.

“Um… ok.  Don’t be mad,” he started.

“Hearing the words ‘don’t be mad’ is basically a surefire way to make me mad.  What did you do?” I clapped back.

“I made us an appointment at my doctor,” he came clean.

Suddenly I felt like a dog that had been promised a car ride only to discover it was a trip to the Vet.

“Jesus, you’re unbelievable!” I spat.

“I just KNEW you wouldn’t do it yourself, so I’m making it happen.  We’re doing this and getting it over with.  My doctor is very cool and supportive and it’ll be painless.  And I’m going with you to be there for you, no matter what,” he stated loudly and with finality.

I sulked in the seat next to him with my arms crossed and refused to look at him.  I know I was being a petulant child about it all, but I don’t think I can accurately describe just how much my stomach was in knots at that moment.  My guts basically turned to liquid and I nearly started hyperventilating as it felt like we were speeding along to my execution.

We rolled up to his doctor’s office, where we were obviously the last appointment of the day as the lot was basically empty.  The doctor greeted us the moment we were in the door.

“Hey, I was almost beginning to give up on you guys,” he said congenially as he hugged Kurt.  “Hi, I’m Doctor Stone, but you can call me Doc.  Most everyone does.”  He shook my hand.

Kurt had a very good relationship with his doctor all things considered, which is how he wangled this appointment even without me being a patient.  At least not yet.  Doctor Stone was gay and about 60, and admittedly a stone-cold fox.  He had silver hair and a full beard, and was definitely rocking a great body beneath a very snug smock.  Kurt told me that he frequently participated in triathelons and he had even been a Mr. Leather a couple years prior.  The good doctor even took 3rd overall at IML—which I could totally see after meeting him in person.  And while I don’t think the doc knew ALL of Kurt’s… proclivities… he definitely appeared to have his finger on the pulse of the gay community, specifically the leather/kink community.

Having a hot, built, gay, leatherdaddy doctor though was not necessarily going to make this any easier for me.  If anything, I was now also feeling shame and embarrassment on top of my fears.

“Where’s your staff?” I asked.

“Oh, they’ve left for the day.  For what you’re here for, I can do all the work—if that’s ok,” he said earnestly.  I nodded.

“Kurt, why don’t you wait here for us, and I’ll just take him on back.  We’ll get you when we’re done,” the Doc said.  So Kurt sat down in the waiting room, and started playing on his phone.  I followed the Doc back, butterflies jackhammering in my guts.

We got back to the exam room and he sat me down. He sat down too, smiled warmly, and he took my hand.

“I want you to know that no matter what the results, it’s going to be ok.  YOU are going to be ok.  You know that, right?” he patted my hand comfortingly.  “This is just knowledge, and knowledge is power.”

I nodded and swallowed thickly.

“So, do you know if you’ve been exposed to HIV?” he asked, even though I was pretty sure he knew the answer.

“Yes,” I answered quietly.  “I mean, yes I know I’ve been exposed.”

He nodded.  “And, do you think you might be HIV positive?” he enquired.

“Yes,” I answered again.

“Why do you think that?”

“Well, Doc.  I got pretty sick with kind of a flu-like illness about a month ago.  And I’d been, um, having lots of unprotected sex before that.” And while I was deliberately obtuse about exactly with whom I’d been having the sex, I was pretty sure the good Doctor knew.  The Doc nodded.

“Ok then.  I’m going to do two tests—one is the quick oral swab test.  The other will be the blood antibody test.  I’ll go ahead and draw the blood, as I can get that test going as the confirmatory sample.”  And then the Doc set about to work.  He swabbed my mouth and found a good vein and drew some blood.  When he was done, he stood up.

“Now I’m going to process these—it won’t take long.  Just wait here.  And remember what I said.  Everything is going to be ok, kiddo.” And with a wink and a warm smile, he left me to wait.

      * *

After what felt like an eternity, the Doctor came back in.  I tried to read his face, but couldn’t.  My guess is that he’d learned to school his expression after doing hundreds of these tests.  He sat down across from me again.  I almost couldn’t breathe.

“Your oral test came back positive for HIV,” he stated.

“Oof, way to pull that bandaid right off, Doc,” I said, a warm dizziness rushing over me.

“The second test will confirm it shortly, but I wanted to start preparing you for the outcome.  How are you feeling at this moment?” He asked with care in his eyes.

“I… don’t know?  A little shocked and sad maybe?  Although if I’m being honest, I’m not surprised given my recent behavior.  I think deep down I knew that was always going to be the outcome.  But  I don’t think I’m fully grasping the reality of it all yet.  But I mean, I’m not gonna burst into tears or off myself anything, if that’s what you were getting at.”

The Doctor smiled good-naturedly.  “That was a good answer.  I know it’s a lot to take in, even if you had a sneaky feeling you might be HIV positive.  And even if you may have… deliberately… been acting in a manner contrary to being safe.  It’s always a bit of a shock to hear the words spoken aloud.  I mean, I still remember when I got my diagnosis 20 years ago.”

“Wait. You’re poz?” I asked, somewhat startled.

“I am.  It’s very well managed, as it has been for two decades.  I’m undetectable and very healthy.  Just as you can be once on meds.  Like I said, kiddo, you will be just fine regardless.”

“It seems weird that a gay Doctor of your… generation… who treats gay men is HIV positive, given all your expertise and training and the AIDS crisis and stuff,” I said.

He looked at me deeply.  “I may be a Doctor, but I’m human too.  I think people tend to forget that last part.  And I’m a gay human, with very strong sexual urges and questionable decision-making skills in certain scenarios.  Much like you, I’d wager.  Honestly though, I choose to view myself as lucky.  I’m healthy, and I feel that being positive gives me a better understanding of what it all means, so that I can treat my patients with empathy a greater level of care.  I can also draw on my own sexual history in order to be non-judgmental.  My goal is to be there for my patients.  To listen and be a good medical provider.  So, a guy can tell me he’s a barebacking cumslut who gets off on taking dirty loads, and it doesn’t phase me one bit.”  He was looking at me intently as he said this last bit.

I blushed strongly at his words.  “Well, as you may have guessed I’m not exactly an angel…” I said.

“Been there, done that, got charged and have the receipts,” he chuckled.  And instantly I was more at ease and the knot in my guts started to relax a bit.

“I’m going to go check your other test and I’ll be right back.” And he was off again.

The Doc came back a few minutes later and it was confirmed.  I was now officially HIV+.  It still didn’t quite feel real to me, and my head was swimming a bit, but I also felt lighter than I had in months.  Like a weight had been lifted.  The doc and I chatted a bit more and he offered me his services as a primary physician.  I told him I’d like that very much.  He told me to call soon to set up an appointment when I was ready where we could discuss treatment options.

The good Doctor walked me back out front.  As soon as we stepped into the waiting room, Kent was on his feet, looking at me expectantly.  I decided to be a bit mean.

“Down boy, it was a false alarm,” I said with a smile.

The look on Kurt’s face was priceless.  He tried to smile and not show his bitter disappointment, and he failed miserably at both. I knew I was going to let him off the hook eventually, but not just yet.  And not here in front of his doctor.

“Thanks, Doc for taking this extra time out of a Friday for me,” I said genuinely.

“Any time,” he said.  “Now you two have a fun evening.  Oh, need any condoms?  They’re free.” He grabbed a basket off the reception desk and waived them at us.  I took one to be nice, and the Doc winked at me conspiratorially.

“And Kurt- it’s about time you visited for a checkup, don’t you think?”  Kurt promised to visit in the next few weeks.  They hugged goodbye, and the doc whispered something to him.  Kurt nodded sheepishly.  Then he grabbed my hand as we headed out.

          * *

After the Doctor’s visit, he took me to my favorite place- Tres Gattos.  A little dive Mexican cantina off the beaten path that had killer margs, damn good queso and burritos the size of your head.  We sat in the booth and ordered our usual, and I found Kurt to be a bit quieter than normal.

“What’s up, Buttercup?” I asked, wanting to watch him squirm a bit longer.

“Oh, nothing,” he said sullenly.

“Dude, cut the crap. You’re upset about something. What is it?  You upset I’m still neg?”

“Um, Yeah, actually.  And I feel bad for feeling upset about it, ok?  I should be glad you’re still ok.  But damnit,  I was SO sure you were gonna be!  I was positive we had an anniversary to celebrate, pun intended.  I… I even had a gift ready for you,” he said, eyes downcast.

“You’ve been ‘gifting’ me for awhile now, stud,” I quipped.

I thought for sure he’d chuckle at my “gift” joke.  Instead he just sighed and looked at me like a sad puppy.   

“Can I ask what the gift is?” I said hopefully.

Quietly he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box.  A fucking RING box.  And if THAT didn’t just make me feel like the prize asshole of the century.

“Duuuuuude,” I exhaled. “Whutdafuk is that?”

“Go ahead… open it,” he said glumly.

I opened it slowly, and my heart kind of stuttered a bit.  Inside was a Claddagh ring.  Gold.  I just sat there with the open box in my hand, starting at it.

“There’s an inscription, too,” he said.

I picked it up, and inside the band it said: Forever mine, 11/5/18.  Our anniversary date.  The supposed date of my conversion.

I put the ring back in the box, closed it, and set it on the table.  Jesus he was going to be mad.

“Ok, so don’t be mad…” I started.

His eyes snapped up to mine.  “When you say “don’t be mad” that’s a surefire way to make me mad,” he said dangerously.

“Um… so, back at the Doc’s office? I may have, um… fibbed… a little? About my diagnosis? Kind of?”

He stared at me blankly, his jaw slack.

“Because I am. Um.  Positive.”

“You’re positive,” he said flatly.

“Yes.  I’m quite positive that I’m… positive.  So… surprise?” I said through a toothy, tight smile.

He looked at me for probably a good 10 seconds before “Why the fuck would you DO that?” Yeah, he was kinda pissed.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I whispered hotly.  “Maybe because my boyfriend hijacked me to a doctor’s appointment after promising a date night?”

“Dude!  I cannot even.  Just… dude.” He said shaking his head.

“I thought you’d be happier to hear that we’re pregnant,” I said with a sigh.

Kurt just gave me his ‘over-the-glasses’ look again, appraising me quietly. (He was wearing his glasses more now, because he knew how the gold frames highlighted his honey-amber eyes, and how much the 70’s porn stud look turned me on).  Even pissed at me, he was so goddamn sexy.  He was not going to make this easy.

“Here.  Let’s do this again,” I said as I slid the ring back across the table. “It’s really very nice and very sweet.  I promise to act surprised when you give it to me.  Here, take it.”

He snatched up the ring box and stashed it in his pocket again.  “Nope.  I don’t think I want to give it to you now,” he said with a sniff.

“I better get that ring.  Don’t make me withhold sex from you.”

“HA!  As if you could say no to all this,” he said pointing to his crotch. A small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“You know I hate it when you quote me back to me,” I grumbled, crossing my arms.

“Oh I know,” he said smugly as he popped a chip in his mouth.

We locked eyes over the table, and I could tell that he wasn’t pissed at me anymore.  He was now just toying with me, because he could.  And because he knew that I secretly liked verbal sparring very much.  His eyes were dark and glittery again, and I could read his mind like it was a large print book.

“Guess I’m just gonna have to make it up to you somehow,” I said with as much wicked innuendo as I could muster.  I downed my margarita in about 3 gulps and then very slowly licked the salt off the rim.  His eyes were glued to my tongue the entire time. Then I stood up and announced that I needed to go to the bathroom.  As I got out of the booth, I made a show of dropping my wallet accidentally, and bent over slowly to retrieve it.  I could almost feel the heat of his gaze boring a hole through my 501’s.

Because I know Kurt and what date night can mean, I prepped my ass as part of getting dressed for our date.  I also brought a small bottle of lube, because you just never know when or where we may go at it hammer and tongs.  Which made our sex life all the more exciting.

The men’s room at Tres Gattos was just about what you’d expect.  Terra cotta tile floor, cheap Mexican tile on the walls.  It was a two-holer, a urinal and a toilet, both just open, and a small counter with a sink.  It was definitely not the cleanest bathroom, and there was always a stale beer piss smell in the air. And naturally there was also a lock on the door.  We had made use of this lock before.

I had my pants dropped to my ankles while I stood at the urinal, my ass lubed for him.  I actually did have to piss, so I was just finishing that as he came in.  I didn’t flush.  I just stood and waited as he locked  the door.

“I told Jorge we’d be back to the table in a few and to keep our food warm for us,” Kurt whispered as he came up behind.  Jorge was our favorite cute, gay waiter with whom we loved to flirt.  I think Jorge had a little thing for me, which made Kurt a wee bit jealous.  Which I loved.  Jorge also knew what was up, so he took good care of us.  And we tipped generously.

“Now about that ring,” I said as I lubed up Kurt’s dick.

Kurt really gets off on public sex, of course.  Hell, the first time I met him he was knocking up a guy in a bathroom at our local gay bar!  When we’re at home, he takes his sweet time in cumming.  He can almost go indefinitely, but he’s good about sensing when I am almost about out of patience for the load.  Now, the nice thing for me with the public sex is that Kurt cums fairly easily.  He knows we have to be expeditious with it, so it’s all about the hot, dirty, pump n dump scene.  I figured I could get a quick load from him this time, especially with the ace up my sleeve.

I arched my back and leaned my chest forward to the urinal.  I could smell the rank piss which admittedly was turning me on as his huge cockhead pushed into me.  I worked my ass on him as we worked him in past the thick part.  He grabbed my hips and started in with quick, shallow thrusts.  It was all I could do to relax without my usual poppers, but the scene was turning me on too.  I definitely liked knowing I could flash my ass and get him to breed me anytime, anywhere.

I started to work my hole on his cock, and he snarled appreciatively.  Mindful of Jorge and our food, I decided to play my ace.

“I guess you did it after all,” I said.

“Did what?” he grunted.

“You finally knocked me up.  Those poz swimmers of yours finally took.  Yeah, fuck my newly poz cunt, sir.  YOU did that.  It’s yours.  You put your stamp in it, and now I’m toxic too!  That dirty fucking DNA is in me forever now.  Yeah, sir!  Add to my viral load!  Do it!  Give this cumdump another fithy fuckload!”

“Ugggghhhh!” he grunted quietly as his dick started throbbing inside me.  “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” he whispered, his forehead resting against me as he parked his dick and emptied himself.

Now, one of the best things about the pump n dump stand up sex with Kurt is that he’s NOT all the way up in my colon when he cums.  Don’t get me wrong, I LIVE for that.  But I also like this. Here he’s only about halfway in with his dick, so I really feel the spurts of his load.  I also tend to feel really greasy-wet and full afterward.  It’s hot as hell.  It’s also a crapshoot (pun intended) to see if I can keep it all in me, or if it starts to leak out.

Once he was spent, he pulled out and a bit of his load leaked out and started to run down the back of my thigh.  I scooped it up, and fingered it back into my hole.  He grabbed a wet paper towel and tossed it to me, and then he grabbed another and cleaned himself off.  We then made ourselves presentable, washed up, and headed back to the table where Jorge had left us two fresh margaritas.

I sat in the booth with a satiated smile on my face.  I kept staring at Kurt, and he kept staring right back at me, half smiling.

“I don’t know if that quite makes up for things,” he said, “but here.  For you.”  He pulled out the ring box again and slid it across the table.

“For ME?  Well I DECLARE!” I drawled while blinking rapidly and fanning myself.

He laughed and groaned simultaneously.  “Oh Jesus, just try the stupid thing on already.”

I took it out of the box, smiled, and handed it to him.  “If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it,” I sang quietly, as I flourished my hand.  He slid it on my right ring finger- the heart facing me, not outward, to show that my heart was taken.  And it fit perfectly, and I stared at it appreciatively.

“Where’s yours?”  I asked.

“One cannot buy a claddagh ring for oneself, it’s bad luck,” he said dismissively as if everyone knew this.

“So I guess you’ll be expecting a blowjob later,” I grimaced.

“Blowies for jewelry is an age old understanding between men and their bitches,” he smiled.

“Careful there,” I cautioned.  And he flashed me his big, dimpled smile, knowing I would swoon.  It completely worked, the bastard.

Jorge came back then with our food then.  He smiled knowingly and asked if we had washed up and if he needed to perhaps tidy up the men’s room?  We assured him that we left it just fine.  He joked that perhaps he should put a camera in there, just to make sure the customers were being safe.  “Oh, we’re never safe,” we told him in unison.  I then mentioned that I was ‘embarazada’ now, and how he blushed at that!  But I also saw a distinct, hefty tenting in his black trousers, as he left us to our meals.

“If you keep being mean to me, I can always give Jorge my ass,” I suggested.

Kurt growled.  “Not if he knows what’s good for him.  There’s a ring on that shit. It’s MINE now.”

I laughed and we finished our meals and hand another margarita apiece.  Jorge was lovely and I enjoyed making him blush a couple more times.  We made sure to leave an even larger tip than usual before heading home.

        *              *

Later that night in bed, I played with the ring on my finger and my mind was whirring a million miles an hour.  I was too keyed up to sleep.  Kurt was spooning me (I was almost always little spoon) and I guess he picked up on my restlessness.  He shifted and rested his head right up at my neck.

“What’s going on, bud?” he asked quietly.

“Nothing.  Just can’t sleep.  Probably the burrito baby kicking,” I lied.  I just didn’t think I was ready to unload all my crazy thoughts onto him.

“Mmm-hmmm,” he said and he squeezed me a bit tighter.  He let me stew and simmer a bit longer before he spoke again.

“We haven’t talked about it yet.  You testing positive, I mean.  I guess we cleverly distracted ourselves with sex when we got home.  But I know it has to be weighing heavily on you.  It’s weighing on me too.  So… talk to me, Goose.  What’s going on in that delightfully chaotic brain of yours.”

I lay quietly as I tried to decide what I wanted to say that wouldn’t freak him out. I eventually decided to downplay it a bit.  “I’m just… processing it all.  You know?  Wondering what happens next.  Where my life goes from here.  What it all means.  Just tiny, insignificant shit like that.”

“Baby, your life isn’t going to change that much- trust me.  You are going to be fine.  And I’m going to be right here with you through thick and thin,” He said confidently.

“Will you, though?” I pondered aloud.  Which as soon as it left my mouth I knew to be a mistake.

“What do you mean by that?” Kurt asked, a slight edge in his voice.

I scooched away from him and took a deep breath before speaking into the darkness.  “Are you happy?  Happy that I’m positive and that you are the one infected me?” I asked in a soft voice.

He was quiet for a minute before answering.  “Maybe… yes?  Kind of?  But I’m sad, too.  Or melancholy about it.  And scared, too a bit.  It’s a whole mixture of things.  I’m sure the Germans have some sort of compound word for it.”

“What happens now that you knocked me up?” I said.

“What do you mean “what happens now”?

“I mean, what happens to me?  To us?”

“We live happily ever after?” he suggested.

“I’m serious, Kurt,” I said, moving myself to the edge of the bed in self-imposed isolation.

“I dunno.  I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking me.”

Oh god.  There was a leak in the dyke and everything was starting to pour out of me, unchecked.  “Like, because the chase is done, what happens to me now?  What’s to become of me?  I mean, what’s the point of fucking me anymore because I already caught the bug, right?  Am I some sort of “pig”malion that you dump back in the gutter so you can find another negative conquest to dickmatize and infect?”

“Whoa whoa whoa!  DickmaWHAT?  Where’s this coming from?” he said alarmed.

I was still turned away from him in the dark and my agitation level had risen dramatically now.  I spoke the fears in my heart into the darkness.  “Kurt, I don’t know what you can possibly see in me now.  The one thing I had to offer you, my negative virginity, is gone.  Kaput.  So what’s my value to you?  Certainly it’s not my hole, as you can find one of those anywhere.  And I’m just a stupid boy with a stupid crush who was stupid enough to let you infect me and now I’m going to be dumped and nobody will date me because I’m tainted goods so I’ll be doomed to spend the rest of my life alone and I’ll die one of those big city deaths where nobody knows I’m gone until the stench drifts into the hallway.”  I was almost hyperventilating now.

“You regret becoming HIV positive?” he asked point blank.  I didn’t answer.  I didn’t know exactly how to answer him yet.

“Oh my god.  Do you resent me?” he asked in a panic.

“What?  I don’t…” I sort of fumbled.

“You just told me you were stupid for letting me infect you.  Do.  You.  Resent.  Me?” he stated, very pointedly.

Again I didn’t answer immediately.

“Oh jesus.  You do.  So it’s just a matter of time, then.  The resentment will fester and then you’ll leave me.  Maybe not like Bo did, but you will.  Jesus.  I’ve ruined another life and another chance.  How fucked up is this?”  he laughed bitterly as he rolled away from me.

And now it was my turn to panic more. Kurt was starting to shut down, which was not good.

“Kurt… it isn’t… Ugh.  This is why I didn’t want to get tested.  Or talk about all this because my brain isn’t ready for this yet.”

“Whatever,” he sighed.  “Message received.  Loud and clear.”

“Whoa.  Now you hold the fuck up for one minute.  I just went through a life-altering diagnosis today, so I think I’ve earned a little leeway here,” I said, getting snippy.  “I’m sorry if I haven’t processed everything into coherent, easily digestible soundbites for your consumption.”

Kurt didn’t say anything.

“Ok, since my brain is on the fritz at the moment, I’m just gonna go full open kimono on you,” I said.

“Open kimono?  Really?” I could hear a tinge of amusement in his voice.

“It means…” I started.

“I know what it means, slugger.  It was just… odd… to hear boardroom speak in the middle of our heart to heart.”

“It still applies.  Kind of.  So.  I’m just going to go ahead and do something I never do.  Which is lay bear my heart.  Regardless of the outcome.  And you’re going to let me, because I deserve it.” Kurt was still rolled away from me and he didn’t say anything.  But I could tell he was waiting intently.

“Kurt?  I’m kind of a mess at the moment.  I’m a jumble of emotions, but fear is the dominating one right now.  And it isn’t fear about HIV so much… it’s more fear of losing you.”

“Baby!  I told…” he started as he rolled over to face me.

“Shhhhhh,” I admonished.  “I’m nowhere near done yet.”  He scooched closer until our knees touched under the covers.

“Do I regret getting HIV?  Yeah, kinda, if I’m being honest.  But only because it complicates shit.  Life would be probably a whole lot easier if we were both neg and on prep and free to be our slutty fucking piggy selves.  But that isn’t our story.  So the poz thing was the price I had to pay in order to keep you.  So I paid it.  And no, I don’t resent you for it.”

“I really like you, Kurt.  And I… I love you.  Like Head over heels love.  Hopelessly and helplessly.  And I really like what we’re… doing.  I totally like being your… hole.  And I’m pretty sure you like me being that for you.  But part of my fear is that this is all I really am to you.”

“Baby, that’s not…” he started to protest.  I cut him off by putting my hand on his mouth briefly.

“Kurt… To me, you’re… everything.  You are all and you are more.  You’ve become so important in my life so quickly that it scares the everloving fuck out of me.  I’ve never felt this way about anyone.  Ever.   I look at you and you’re so beautiful that it hurts.  Literally physically hurts.  My chest gets tight and I can’t breathe sometimes.  You’re like this hotter, builter, sexier mustachioed version of Henry Cavil and I can’t even.  Seeing your body- in or out of clothes- gives me butterflies.  When I see your dimples, my knees get weak.  Your touch is like an electric shock on my skin.  Your gaze makes me shiver.  And when you blast me with your full smile? I can’t hold a single coherent thought in my head.”

“So, you like me for my body and my mustache,” he sighed.

“Not done talking,” I chastised.

“And yes.  Physically you crank me to 11.  But it goes way beyond your physical charms.  You make me laugh.  You make me want to make YOU laugh.  I want to talk with you and explore with you.  I love just sitting with you quietly.  You make me feel taken care of.  I’m comfortable around you and I finally feel like my true self.  My darker self.  And when you hold me, I feel safe.  As I think about all this and it feels like a crazy dream.”

He reached out and grabbed my hands under the covers and held them.

“And I’m terrified,” I whispered, “that one day you’ll wake up and just decide I’m not worth it and ditch me to find a better hole.  Or worse, grow tired of me and start treating me with utter indifference.  Seeing you look at me again like I’m worthless… like you did in the bar that one night… would absolutely destroy me, Kurt.  And I’m so fucking scared that it’s coming.”

“I can handle the poz thing.  I can handle the being alone thing.  And I can even handle you throwing me away- I think.  As long as I don’t get even more invested than I am right now.  Because the longer this goes… the longer we go… the easier it will be for you to crush me.   So, if you think that this is the way it’s going, can you please tell me now, so I can maybe salvage something of myself?”

Kurt was quiet.  Quiet for a long time.  And the longer the silence went, the more scared I got.  Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Kurt?  Can you say something?  Please?”

“Oh, are you through open-kimonoing now?  Is it my turn?” he said, softly sarcastic.

“Yes.  I’m done.  For now.  I think.  Maybe not.”  I babbled.

“First of all let me just say… “ he drew a big breath, “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I pushed you to get tested.  I’m sorry I didn’t think about the impact to you and what you might be feeling.  I’m sorry I wasn’t more understanding.  I should have been much more empathetic and listened to you had I taken the time to remember what it was like for me.”

“Oh, It’s…” I started to say before he cut me off.

“Hush now.  It’s my turn,” He said with a smile in his voice.

“You said that you worried that you were just a hole to me.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I am endlessly captivated by you and am hopelessly in love with you.  I love that you’re this sexy dork, with a quick wit and deep intelligence that keeps me on my toes.  I love your brain!  And I love that you are kind and thoughtful.  I love the way you look at me, it turns my insides molten.”

“So I’m a dork that stares at you like a goober,” I sighed, trying not to smile.

“Not done talking yet,” he mimicked sarcastically.

“Yes.  You are a dork.  MY dork.  But you know what the best part about you is?  It’s that you have absolutely NO clue how hot you are.  None!  You are completely oblivious, and it’s endearing and frustrating and it makes me want to shake you sometimes.  But damned if it doesn’t also make you even that much hotter.”

“I am SO not…” I started again and Kurt actually growled at me.

“Got it.  Shutting up now.” I swallowed.

“You ARE hot.  AND oblivious.  God, I love going to the gym with you because so many guys check you out, it’s ridiculous.  And you have no idea it’s happening.  You’re like this tight body, otter version of Julian Edelman, with an ass that just sits up and begs.  You know, I’ve actually had guys walk up to me and ask me about you and what our deal is.  A couple guys have even given me their number for me to give to you, as they weren’t sure how to approach you.  Hell, I don’t get half the attention that you do and it’s starting to bruise my ego a bit.  And the 501’s?  Your ass can stop traffic in the 501’s.”

I was blushing now, the heat filling my cheeks.

“I like spending time with you too.  I like watching movies with you and our date nights.  And yes, I like the sex. and that you are my insatiable honey hole.  I trust that much is obvious!  But like you, I’m worried about the sex part, too.  I’m worried that all I am to you is a big cock and a high sex drive.  What happens when my body starts to go or my libido wanes and I can’t give you what you so obviously crave?  What then?”  It was my turn to grab his hands and hold them.

“What terrifies ME is you growing to resent me or getting disappointed by me and deciding to leave.  And I firmly believe there is a higher probability of this than me leaving you.  I think that was why I was so desperate to convert you.  So that we would be linked and have this bond we share.  And also so that it might bind you closer to me… so that you won’t leave me.”

“Once upon a time I thought this would be the case with Bo, but looking back, I realize that Bo never would have left me, even if we were serodiscordant.  He was always far too dependent on me, which I believe left him vulnerable and weaker in the end.  But you?  You’re stronger than Bo—stronger than me for that matter.  You don’t need me.  I know you could leave any time and be just fine on your own, and then where’ll I be, huh?”

We were both quiet for a long time, laying curled up facing each other in the dark.  Eventually, I scooched closer until my forehead was against his and my nose touched his nose. I rubbed our noses together casually.

“Kurt, I know we both just unloaded a lot of crap.  But this is good.  And you were right.  We did need to talk about all this.  And I think we will be having some more conversations in the coming days.  But for right now… can I… can I kiss you?” I asked hopefully.

“Being in love means never having to ask if you can kiss me,” he said huskily.

“You know I hate it when you quote me back to me, asshole,” I said lovingly.

“Oh I know,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.  And then I kissed him.  Oh how I kissed him!

Naturally a kiss with us is rarely just a kiss.  This one escalated quickly, and soon we were very hot and heavy again.  He had me on my back and was full on making out with me, grinding his hardness into me. Being under his mass and feeling the heat of him had me cranked up in no time flat.  After a few more minutes, we finally broke apart.

“Alexa, turn lights to 20%,” he barked.  And the lights in the bedroom came on low.

“Why you turning on the lights?” I asked.

“Because I want you to see my face and how serious I am,” he replied.

He threw the covers off us, then he used his knees to force my legs apart.  He kept peppering me with kisses and licks while he did this.  Pretty soon my legs were spread, and I was open and vulnerable in front of him.

“You think you’re just a hole for me?  Do you?” he growled as he sucked my neck a little.  “You think that’s all you are?”  His hard cock nudged against my asshole.  I may have whimpered a little.

He looked at me.  “Buddy, you are so much more than that.  SO much more.”  Then he grabbed the lube and slathered his cock and my hole with it.  His head ever-so-slowly sliding into me until he was in me to the hilt.

“Jesus Kurt,” I hissed.  “Fuck me!  Now!”

“No,” he said flatly.  “I’m not going to fuck you.”

“Um… whaaaa?” I stammered.  “Oh please, sir!  Pretty please?  You’re inside me, that’s basically the beginning part of fucking!  And after everything we just said….”

“Shhhh.  I just need to be as close to you as I can get for this.  Burying myself inside you and having you wrapped around me is important right now,” he said as he brought his face an inch from mine.

“I’m going to make a vow. Right now.  And you know I’m serious because intercourse is basically my religion and I’m inside my Bible right now, ok,?” I nodded that I understood.  He stared into my soul, his amber eyes glowing in the soft light.   “I’m not going anywhere.  Ever.  Period.  You are stuck with me, bud, for better and for worse.  I promise to keep my body fit for you, and my dick hard for you.  I promise to always check with you before changing my facial hair, because I want you to be happy when you look at me.  I promise to take care of you, and to listen more, and to make you laugh at least once a day, and to give you epic makeup sex when we do have a fight.  And I promise not to ever go to bed mad.  And I promise to do better about talking about shit so that we know where we’re coming from. And I promise not to blast you into space until such time as I grow weary of you…”

“Jesus fucking Christ!” I laughed.  “You just quoted Flash Gordon to me in your love declaration?  And you call ME a dork?”  He smiled one of his blinding smiles and every shadow of doubt was blazed away.

“I should have said all of that when I gave you the ring tonight.  Better late than never, I suppose,” he shrugged and I kissed him tenderly.

“I don’t have a ring to give you, unless you count the one that’s around your dick right now,” I lamented with a squeeze of my hole.  That made his eyes flutter and earned a sharp inhalation from him.

“But what I can give you, Kurt, is my vow:  I promise you that I don’t resent you.  Not for a minute.  I promise you that I love you.  Truly, deeply, madly.  I promise that you’re stuck with me, too, through thick and thin.  At least until my inane babbling annoys you to the point that you can’t stand me anymore.  I promise to continue being a dork, and to bike and squat so much that the 501’s can’t contain the magnitude of my ass.  I promise to pull you up short and put you through hell and give you support.  I promise to only sing Sondheim to on special occasions.  I promise to swoon every time you smile at me like you are right now.  And I promise that I’ll only ever have eyes for you.”

“You through?” he asked with a smile.

“Oh, and I promise to be your beck and call boy.”

He groaned and laughed.  “Ok, Pretty Woman.”

“I heard somewhere that you liked the dorky, nerdy type,” I shrugged.

“And I heard you like the muscular, Colt model type,” he countered.

“Well, actually I’m more a sexy, silver, leatherdaddy rich doctor type—think you can set me up?” I asked innocently.

“You’d be disappointed.  He’s mostly a bottom,” he said with a wink.

We kissed some more this exchange, his hard cock still buried deep inside me.  Feeling the fullness that was him inside me was naturally getting me riled up, so I sneakily started to shift my ass around under the guise of getting of comfortable.  I also started to slowly clench and release my hole on him.  I was nothing if not subtle.

I looked up at Kurt beseeching him with my eyes, as I quivered my pucker on him.

“That’ll do, pig,” he chuckled.  “I told you I’m not fucking you.  But… I will share a little secret with you if you promise to stay still for a moment,” he said cryptically.  So I waited.  Quietly.

Kurt adjusted so that he was all the way in me again.  He held me closely, hovering over me, face still an inch from mine.  I could feel his breath.  His amber eyes searching my face, boring into me.  I was just about to say something when suddenly his eyes squeezed shut and he exhaled with a tiny grunt, and I felt it.  His cock throbbing inside of me.  He was emptying himself into me without ever having moved a muscle. He shuddered briefly as his orgasm subsided and his cock started softening inside me.

“Dude.  Whoa.  You just… came… like… spontaneously? I asked quizzically.

“Yeah.  That’s my secret.  I can control my ejaculations with my mind.  I learned a long time ago that for me it was more about the mental side than the physical stimulation side.  I actually learned at boyscout camp of all places!  I would hear my scout master jacking off, and because I didn’t want to get caught I pretended to be asleep and just thought myself to orgasm.  I’ve been able to do it ever since.  Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the physical side of things.  Fucking feels fucking great!  But tipping myself to orgasm?  That has always been more of a mental exercise for me.  Hence the scenes, and places, and dirty talk, and other visual stimuli.  And sometimes—given the right circumstances—I can cum like I just did.”

“Gives a whole new meaning to ‘be prepared’,” I chuckled.  “And you.  YOU were a Boy Scout?”

“EAGLE Scout.  Yes.” He said smugly.

“And did you ever, um… do stuff with Scout Master-bater?”

“What do hoping to hear?” he laughed.  “Something like how my Eagle Scout project was building raised garden boxes and starting an urban vegetable garden for an inner city neighborhood.  And how I was fucking my Scout Master, who just so happened to also be my boyfriend’s father, bent over a sawhorse in the wood shop one night when and his wife and my boyfriend walked in on us right as I was cumming in him or something?”

“Oh fuck.  Is this true?” I said as my dick jumped at the thought.

A slow, dirty smile spread across his face. “Scout’s honor.  The scandal and fallout that ensued is still being talked about in sewing circles in my hometown to this very day!”

“I am SO going to want details on that story later,” I said with an appreciative whistle.  And then something else dawned on me.  “You know what this little Scout trick means though?   It means I can basically tap out whenever I want and STILL get loaded!  Fuck the ring… THIS is the best gift EVAR!”

“I guess we’ll see,” he chuckled, as he slid languidly from my ass.  “Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but did I hear my dork of a boyfriend drop a Pygmalion pun during our little heart to heart?”  And he smiled at me and then kissed me before I could spout my indignation.

Later as we spooned (me the big spoon for a change), I felt the rhythmic expansion and contraction of Kurt’s massive back against me.  I could tell he was drifting off to sleep, and I knew I wasn’t far behind.  But I wasn’t quite ready to follow yet.  My mind was deliciously quiet for a change and I was overcome with a warm sense of peace.  I realized I was supremely content and happy in the moment.  And while I still had things to sort out, I knew the Doc was right.  I was going to be okay.  And as I began to slowly drift off, I knew that I had taken a big step today.

A step toward Acceptance.

[negchaserlooking]

Oh that was so good - great storyline, hot, sexy, loving, 2 guys totally besotted and in love. 

[timfreo]

Ok. One of the best stories ever written!!  Bravo! 

[DocGun]

God I would love to have that relationship 

[ericnl]

I'm a sucker for love stories like this. This should make one hell of a movie! 

[onlyraw]

While plan hardcore porn is hot 

there are times I need a good (or in this case an amazingly good) love story 

many thanks- his was wonderful 

looking forward to your next story 

[rafagozd]

Right now, these are one of the best stories on this site. It just talk with most of my kinks, insecurities and fears as a chaser. And you write really well. You sir, should be writing a book.

[rapazsolitario]

I didn't know this was a second part to the other story, so I never really read it. I'm glad you made that note, because this is awesome. Looking forward for part 3. I guess the name will be Acceptance, right?

[Guest]

What a beautiful story, I hope they have a happy ending for these two

[DaWhore]

I don't know how hard it was to write it, if it just came bursting out or you had to squeeze it out. As a reader, seems like it was easy to write, because it was easy to read.  Enjoyed it. 

[oinker]

A very loving story !!!full of erotic passion , ones fears of being rejected, or dumped value of opening ones heart ❤️ to another  so many concepts You Handed like an expert writer EXCELLENT. need another part!!!!

[tighthole64]

LOVED the part of him breeding him during the Fuk Flu!  My ultimate desire!

[viking8x6]

Awesome!!!

 

[Spermpig]

Part 3: Acceptance is cumming soon….

[plisken]

Beautifully crafted writing, but surely Kurt will soon need other holes to infect