The exclusion of older bottom

[Guest]

I still think many ideas here are based on stereotypes. Even the people who are into older bottoms are into some sort of cliche that is attached to being older.

I have always been the most submissive guy ever. Never even fucked a person. And I'm a total full on sub, into nearly every kind of kink. If I want to whimper, I should do so when I'm 50 as well. Why not? Because it doesn't become a mature man to whimper? How is that different from people saying we should stop going to gay clubs after 40, or stop wearing colourful clothes in mature age? I am totally subservient. That is how I am. Expecting a bottom to change his entire personality just because he blew off some more candles makes zero sense to me.

The biggest reason suicide rate amongst man over 40 is so much higher is due to these expectations from older men. "You must have sorted your shit by now. You must be confident, successful, not whimpering, strong" etc. Life does not work this way.

I also do not understand how dominating a younger guy is easier or more fun. I don't get how age can make this harder or easier in the first place. But when you consider the fun bit of it, if you look through a dominant's eyes, who wants to dominate and degrade you, is the sight of a skinny little pussy begging more humiliating and a power surge, or a full grown man whimpering and being your bitch? Most of my Doms are younger than me, and I feel like a little kid in front of them.

I know there are some who call this a "preference", but this is not how preference works. If you meet someone socially, are very into them, then during the conversation you learn that they were born before you and you lose all interest immediately, I think that is more of an obsession rather than a preference.

I love how all older bottoms united in grief here. And there are practically no tops talking as they are aware of this in-group discrimination and that they are responsible for it, meanwhile the twink bottom is looking at this and thinking "I have loads of time before I need to worry about this." Only if one could truly understand how fast time flies before it has actually flown away.

[BearPleaser]

Well said

[NastyRigPig]

52 minutes ago, SubSlutDog said:

I

 

I love how all older bottoms united in grief here. And there are practically no tops talking as they are aware of this in-group discrimination and that they are responsible for it, meanwhile the twink bottom is looking at this and thinking "I have loads of time before I need to worry about this." Only if one could truly understand how fast time flies before it has actually flown away.

I know for me it was around age 33/34.  I’m still told I’m handsome, but there’s expectations of me.  I don’t get as much sex as I once did, but the sex I do get is very enjoyable.  The trick is not to let your sexual attractiveness be what gives you your self esteem. 

And for those who aren’t in to older bottoms a simple ‘sorry, not interested’ is sufficient.  Some of the turndowns can be quite cruel.  Not me, I rarely initiate, but I’ve some some horrific put downs at bars/sex clubs from others.  We all need to be nicer.

[Daddyslut4use]

This is a topic worthy of discussion.  I know I've commented before on how invisible I felt at sex parties such as Cumunion.  I eventually stopped going.

The discrimination is real and is worse in certain circumstances than others.  The reality is that I am still a cumdump and so I seek out tops.  I was never particularly discriminating on the older side, even when young, but I did care about overall attractiveness.  Now, I'll easily go to 65, perhaps more and it's all about their cock.

I feel I no longer have the luxury of being at all picky.  And it's actually given me a kind of freedom and a sense of submission and servitude that I enjoy.  I still harvest 8-10 loads a visit at Midtowne Spa, but it is ass up, all fours or glory hole fucks, both totally anon.  And I've gotten into that.

UCLA and USC boys still want to be men and this is the only place where I find little to no age discrimination.  Most of them are still pretending to be straight and they are uncomfortable breeding a twink classmate who may be less masculine or even show up in one of their classes.  So when I want to relive my fantasy of a young cumdump, I set up a walk-in scene at my house and get plenty of takers.

In the end, I think we older tops have to be much more flexible and a lot less picky....just the way it seems to me.

[DarkroomTaker]

Well guys remember, youths a mask but it dont last. Some of these rude putudowners will be there soon.

[gingerdaddyG]

3 minutes ago, DarkroomTaker said:

Well guys remember, youths a mask but it dont last. Some of these rude putudowners will be there soon.

Sooner than they think!

[NastyRigPig]

8 minutes ago, DarkroomTaker said:

Well guys remember, youths a mask but it dont last. Some of these rude putudowners will be there soon.

This is true, I just hope younger guys reading this thread keep it in mind.  Also, I don’t derive any pleasure thinking of anybody else receiving mental distress.  We can cause each other so much needless pain.  

I remember one night I was out and and a friend of a friend said something cruel to a guy at the bar.  I told him immediately that he was rude and he should go apologize.  Of course he was indignant.  I said, well, if this is acceptable behavior in this group I’m out of here and I walked over to the guy and said ‘I’m sorry that he was such an ass to you’.  I no longer have room for mean people in my life.

[Bibttmmiami]

I see guys looking for older bottoms more now than in the past, but that maybe because I’m in my late 40’s now. Having said that, there is still a huge bias against older bottoms. Like the OP said, older tops are sought after, but older bottoms are looked at as trolls or begging for a fuck. Kind of stupid because I think older guys are more open to kink and the like, and with their experience are more likely to be able to satisfy a top. I like the idea of being topped and dominated by a younger top/dom (18-30), but an older top or vers can be a good time. And although I prefer to bottom I have no problem topping an older bottom either. 

[ErosWired]

4 hours ago, SubSlutDog said:

The biggest reason suicide rate amongst man over 40 is so much higher is due to these expectations from older men. "You must have sorted your shit by now. You must be confident, successful, not whimpering, strong" etc. Life does not work this way.

On the contrary, life works exactly this way, just not the way you characterize it. I believe the principal reason that men beyond a certain age face expectations in various spheres of life is because years lived = life experience. That life experience isn’t necessarily a record of success and achievement, but regardless of the outcome, it’s a set of valuable lessons learned about what it means to be alive, what it means to be an adult, and what it means to be a man.

Young men are often excused for folly and indiscretion because they haven’t acquired this quality yet, whether you call it being ‘seasoned’, or having wisdom, or simply maturity. Regardless, there is indisputably a general sense of the qualities and characteristics that differentiate a man from a woman; a man from a boy; a man from a man who has not yet finished maturing.

If a man - regardless of his sexual role - exhibits traits that suggest he lacks the emotional maturity of an experienced adult, he must expect there to be some question about it, and possibly some bias regarding it.

You and I are both committed submissives. My experience under Dominants is extensive, and I assume yours is also, though I know nothing of your particular circumstances. We appear to differ in at least one respect, however. You say that faced with some Dominants you feel like a little kid. I submit just the same, to Dominants who know how to put the fear if God into you, and I feel inferior - but at no time do I feel like a child. I am 55 - more than half a century old - and what that Dom is about to do to me is totally in the realm of the world of adults.

You ask whether a Dominant wouldn’t be more stimulated by his control over a ‘full grown man’ versus a skinny kid, but that’s a false equivalency - if the ‘full grown man’ presents as a whimpering, simpering dishrag, the Dom is unlikely to see him as a ‘full grown man’ at all, but rather as a man whose growth is incomplete. In that sense, the kid may be more tempting simply for his energy and potential, quite aside from the freshness of the flesh.

 I am known to whimper from time to time, but it only happens when a Top has well and truly fucked me into submission and I’m reduced to a sack of wet fuckmeat and he’s just getting his second wind. It doesn’t happen often. But I still don’t feel like a kid. I feel like a cunt.

[ErosWired]

27 minutes ago, Bibttmmiami said:

but older bottoms are looked at as trolls or begging for a fuck.

This could be partly because of the number of them with profiles literally begging for a fuck, 

Please fuck my ass

Please I need loads

And not so much trolls as dwarfs - the Seven Dwarfs who give bottoms a bad name:

Needy, Greedy, Sketchy, Sleazy, Flakey, Spinny and Nopey

(Fun fact - How do these dwarfs greet each other as they walk by?

”Hi, ho. Hi, ho.”)

[hungry_hole]

On 1/16/2022 at 4:13 PM, SubSlutDog said:

Is it only me who sees this huge problem in the gay community?

I wouldn't call it a problem. I would say that there are two variables at work.

On the one hand, many men who have sex with men have an obsession with young bodies, which are glorified.

But also older men are more open-minded and willing to get involved in kink fun behavior, as younger men are more reluctant.

An example are young cumdumps who get a lot of action because (1) young bodies are hot, and (2) young slutty bottoms are rare.

The world is full of older cumdumps!

[hntnhole]

20 hours ago, ErosWired said:

if the ‘full grown man’ presents as a whimpering, simpering dishrag, the Dom is unlikely to see him as a ‘full grown man’ at all, but rather as a man whose growth is incomplete

Bingo ... and the chronological age is irrelevant.

[Justaholeff]

On 1/17/2022 at 5:28 PM, NastyRigPig said:

I know for me it was around age 33/34.  I’m still told I’m handsome, but there’s expectations of me.  I don’t get as much sex as I once did, but the sex I do get is very enjoyable.  The trick is not to let your sexual attractiveness be what gives you your self esteem. 

And for those who aren’t in to older bottoms a simple ‘sorry, not interested’ is sufficient.  Some of the turndowns can be quite cruel.  Not me, I rarely initiate, but I’ve some some horrific put downs at bars/sex clubs from others.  We all need to be nicer.

I agree with that we all could be nicer to each other for sure.

Some of the best fucks I have had have been with your " average older guys!"

It is my belief that I don't care how a man looks or about his age ..if he is cruel, self centered, narcissistic, rude, and think his shit doesn't stink then he is are fucking ugly!

[JamesL100]

Well in a darkroom or woods at night the ages don't matter 😉

[Read1]

I agree with JamesL100. Just hang out in a gloryhole/confessional and in a darkroom. As a bottom or vers guy, your ass and mouth will get filled!