The Best Sex You Ever *Had*…

[ErosWired]

One day you are going to have the best sex of your life. You might have some good sex after that, but nothing will ever quite measure up to that one experience. I think we often go into each new sexual experience in the hope that that one will be the peak, not knowing what the view will look like from our personal orgasmic summit. We always imagine that even greater splendor awaits if we can just climb a little higher (or get a little kinkier) next time.

But what if you knew that you had already had the best sex you’ll ever have, that it’s behind you now, and nothing you’ll experience in the future will ever be as good? What if you know you’re never going to feel anything that good again, let alone anything better?

There comes a point, as a man gets older, that certain realities sink in. The car has 150,000 miles on it and it no longer has that new-car scent. It still drives great, but doesn’t accelerate the way it used to. Doesn’t get the mileage. Its better days are behind it.

Or, you might be a younger man who’s had an injury that limits future prospects.

 I don’t mean to cloud anybody’s day thinking about this kind of thing, but I’m curious how different men approach this philosophically. What kind of attitude do you take toward sex if you know you’ve already had the best you’re going to get?

Edited February 10, 2022 by ErosWired

[leatherpunk16]

Interesting train of thought!

What do I count as my best sex? Do I think of the times with my late husband? Or maybe that time that my poz ex bred me while I begged for it? Or the daddy who gave me gono with his 8 inch monster and made me see stars? Or the hookup I had at IML with that bald pig who sat on my face? Or the Greek dude I blew under the table while he sold wristbands? Or last Sunday when I rolled around in pumpkin pie filling?

See, it's all relative. One's sexual journey is a weird tapestry of various experiences. Some of them are Monets - abstract and don't make sense because they don't have to be understood. Others are Mona Lisas, curious and simple in their beauty. If one has a long history of these things, sure, you can say the best is behind you. Or the best is happening right now. Or if you're 18 and have your whole life to look forward to, this is less applicable. Not many 18 year olds can say they've had great sex and it will never be good again. Such negativity is destructive, and either leads to no efforts made (like me), or doing extreme things one isn't ready for in order to find the next "best sex ever". 

In case this wasn't a philosophy question, these are my top 5 sexual experiences. No particular order.

- the night I railed my husband at Touche while he was bent over the bar at a piss party

- sex with my ex in the summer of 2018

- the aforementioned Daddy who fucked me so hard my piss was rose-coloured afterwards

- the pig who brought me into the pig lifestyle (plus that first time I fisted him)

- the hookup with "Tim", who was small of frame, but so gentle and hung like a bull

 

There's still more for me to look forward to. And each one will be different.

[garsento]

I am not inclined to rate all of my sex on a scale. There is good sex and bad sex, sure, and great sex and terrible sex, but there are.so many different kinds of sex out there.it makes no sense to rate them as fundamentally alike. There are big differences between topping and bottoming, just to start.

[tallslenderguy]

i don't think i can know the "best sex" i've ever had till i'm dead. 

One may have more "miles," not "accelerate" as fast, but that same One has been more places, seen more things, carried more passengers.  i'm a lot more kinky now than i was when i was younger. my mind is a lot more engaged in sex, it's a lot more holistic and endless variety. 

Honestly though, most of the sex i've had in life (and it's been a lot) has been worth it. The lesser experience is not a disappointment for me, i'm grateful for all the connections i've had with guys.  Sure, some sex has been better than other, but i haven't had much bad sex in my life... really, none that i can remember, so it must  not have been that bad lpl.  

I don't foresee a time when i will say: 't's over' or 'already had the best i'm going to ever see.'  

[hntnhole]

1 hour ago, ErosWired said:

 I don’t mean to cloud anybody’s day thinking about this kind of thing, but I’m curious how different men approach this philosophically. What kind of attitude do you take toward sex if you know you’ve already had the best you’re going to get?

I see the key word in your question as being "philosophically".

As it happens, I'm 5 days away from the 14th anniversary of my life-partner's passing.  The reason I mention this is germane, in that - for me - there's with him, and since him.  Everything with him was fireworks.  Since then, there are occasional "sparklers", and even the regular indulging my Lusts, while fun, enjoyable, often thrilling, it's still since him.  I've carried on enough previously about the "connection" we can achieve and won't go into all of that again.  Thus, my philosophy is to be thankful for the past, but live in the present.

I don't expect any fireworks anymore.  I had more than my share, and I feel (without referencing any O.R. bs) very richly blessed for those years.  I am under no illusions.  If/when I have a "special" connection with a sub, great - a pleasant surprise,  but I don't expect it. 

Since I am still amongst the living, healthy, horny and all of that, I am still a Breeder of other men's Holes because that's an important part of who and what I am, and I love indulging my sexual requirements as much now as I did then.   But, there's only one Everest, and Hillary wasn't the only man to get to the top.  Once you've been to the top, there are no more mountains tall enough to surpass - and that's ok with me.  I am content.

[FelchingPisser]

I have had fabulous sex.

 And I have had horrible sex.

 It is likely, with my age, that yes, I have had the best sex I will ever had. 

But I’ll be damned to let that thought stop me.  

[Baretop4ever]

3 hours ago, hntnhole said:

Everything with him was fireworks.  Since then, there are occasional "sparklers", and even the regular indulging my Lusts, while fun, enjoyable, often thrilling, it's still since him.  I've carried on enough previously about the "connection" we can achieve and won't go into all of that again.  Thus, my philosophy is to be thankful for the past, but live in the present.

I don't expect any fireworks anymore.  I had more than my share, and I feel (without referencing any O.R. bs) very richly blessed for those years.

That was very moving to read. Only a few people are lucky to have this kind of once-in-a-lifetime-connection, with an impact and fulfillment to last forever, and many people can only dream of that. I feel honestly happy for you.

 

For years I thought my very first time was already the best sex I’ve ever had (details in the Sex with clergy thread). But not only because of the act itself but the combination of various details about that made it impressive to have an impact to last. (The very first time, a sexual act that changed my life from closeted to out and proud, a deep brotherly bonding with that man, the very first person that I opened up myself to ever all my life, he had a perfect body and a perfect dick and a perfect hole as if he came straight from those high production porn movies with actors like perfectly built fashion models, it happened during the hottest days of a summer season, which makes it appear like summertime love In the memory, and as I was freshly out of High school and had free time since I was waiting for admission to University, it was a time when I didn’t knew of any daily stress of working life or any other adult responsibilities, … the whole setting appeared like a holiday romance and made it appear carefree and perfect).

I had a hard time making more and more sexual experiences throughout the following years, since I couldn’t help comparing it to the very first time and disappointing myself unnecessarily.

 

5 hours ago, ErosWired said:

But what if you knew that you had already had the best sex you’ll ever have, that it’s behind you now, and nothing you’ll experience in the future will ever be as good? What if you know you’re never going to feel anything that good again, let alone anything better?

Tellin' me!

 

I had years of sex life characterized by unsatisfying sex with condoms, making me fuck hardly, but only once in a while, or sex within monogamous relationships, where the sex dried out sooner or later. It was frustrating and made the very first time appear more and more perfect and out-of-the-world-like and almost unreachable to experience something like that ever again or with someone with at least close to the bonding i had with my first man… I really thought for years, I had the best sex of my life already behind me before my sex life even started. I don't even wanna start with the disappointing experiences with dating apps...

 

When I finally decided not to compromise in my sex life anymore, and when PreP was released in Germany, I started to have sex the way I wanted, and therefore, the best sex I so far had in my life was from September 2019 until February 2020 (when the pandemic started). 5 months, being almost every week in the bathhouse, hooked up in between whenever I could, and spent the late summer of 2019 almost every day with outdoor cruising in the sun, barebacking the hell out of me with anyone available. That included every kind of experience, good and bad, but it wasn't a certain encounter, but a whole time period experiencing sex on a certain way I had never done before, which was memorable. The pandemic gave it a break, but at least the bath houses are open again and i’m getting in full swing again and I'm full of ideas to go for more and try things I've never done before.

 

I think, the key is if you have sex the way you want, the way you deserve, the way you are designed to and the way your sex drive demands, every encounter is a new chance to have the best sex in your life. So therefore, I had the best sex in my life in a memorable way, and it’s up to me to going to have "other" kinds of best sex again. The doors are open, and I’m pretty sure I will.

 

4 hours ago, garsento said:

I am not inclined to rate all of my sex on a scale. There is good sex and bad sex, sure, and great sex and terrible sex, but there are.so many different kinds of sex out there

Exactly! Had to learn that in a year-long process. No encounter ever can be compared to any previous or future encounter.

 

 

30 minutes ago, FelchingPisser said:

I have had the best sex I will ever had. 

But I’ll be damned to let that thought stop me.  

That's it !! My thought exactly 👍

In my case, it's the sex drive itself and the hope, "is there more?" that has always driven me.

Edited February 10, 2022 by Baretop4ever

[hntnhole]

1 hour ago, Baretop4ever said:

I couldn’t help comparing it to the very first time and disappointing myself unnecessarily

First, thanks for the understanding, Baretop4ever; I appreciate that your words tremendously.  

But here's another way to think of having sex:  We can't always do it, but every time you head out to fuck, try to think each encounter as a "first time thing", or "new" Hole..                 As if it actually were like your wonderful experience with the cleric.  Even if you've Seeded it a number of times, think of it as a fresh encounter.  Keep your cleric mentor in the back of your mind, and approach the fuck with a fresh mental outlook - or as much as you can, anyway.  These days, I like to hit the darkrooms, where (for me) there is nothing there but flesh waiting for flesh - just Cocks rutting in Holes, guys sucking off Cocks, in groups, singly, whatever.  It scratches my itch, without summoning up days gone by.  Of course, it comes to mind how he would have loved sucking this Cock or that, fucking this Hole or that, but I don't allow myself to dwell on those fleeting thoughts.  We must live in the present; it can't be healthy to allow the past to illuminate our path forward, however bright (or dim, for that matter).  We must re-ignite our guiding light (I mean, not just sex, but the other aspects of our lives as well) each day, make it count in some way, 

1 hour ago, Baretop4ever said:

I think, the key is if you have sex the way you want, the way you deserve, the way you are designed to and the way your sex drive demands, every encounter is a new chance to have the best sex in your life. So therefore, I had the best sex in my life in a memorable way, and it’s up to me to going to have "other" kinds of best sex again. The doors are open, and I’m pretty sure I will.

You have a firm concept of what I'm trying to say, as the above makes clear.  "other" kinds of best sex are always out there, waiting to be found.  Yes, the doors are wide open, and I'm certain your Cock will precede the rest of your body through those doors with all the excitement, enthusiasm, and inborn urges any bottom could possibly want.

ps ..... you will let us know when you take the raw porn industry by storm, won'tcha ......

[NLbear]

Well, I may have had the best meal I ever had but that doesn't mean I stop eating. 

Seriously, if you think you already had the best sex you could ever have then everything after that will be a disappointment. I've had my share of bad sex. But other times it's good. Sometimes really good. And you never know, the next time you have sex may equal what you thought was the best you ever had. 

Best not to compare and just enjoy it.

[Guest]

When I replied to a 2nd add for a Massage for Bi-curious men, this man that offered it, was very soft spoken, looked Caribbean / African-American. He had a very relaxing way about him. To shorten up the story, I became a regular. Eventually, he would place 2 burning candles in front of me, dim the lights, administer the massage, and talk to me, in this soothing voice. 

I was still very inexperienced and had only used poppers once before. Yet this man administered poppers to me, in a very controlled, timed manner of about 30 minutes, and they smelled different from what I had remembered. Through this whole ritual, I found myself going into a suggestive/Hypnotic state. I would be in this trance, and I felt I would do whatever he wanted. I did not feel totally drugged out, or drunk, yet in his control. 

One time, he brought his friend over to share me, and my body. I felt this would have been something I would have been hesitant to experience, yet in this State, I submitted to it.  

 

[ErosWired]

13 hours ago, leatherpunk16 said:

Or last Sunday when I rolled around in pumpkin pie filling?

See, it's all relative. One's sexual journey is a weird tapestry of various experiences.

Obviously so…

 

8 hours ago, Baretop4ever said:

For years I thought my very first time was already the best sex I’ve ever had (details in the Sex with clergy thread). But not only because of the act itself but the combination of various details about that made it impressive to have an impact to last.

Just before the pandemic began I was helping a young guy who had wanted to Top me but was having an issue with losing his erection when it came time to get on with it. He was just about 22 at the time, which is a bit younger than I would generally work with, but I had the impression that he needed someone safe who he could learn to relax and become more confident around.

He started to have his problem at first, but I made sure it was all about him, and once I got him inside me, he did fine. More than fine, actually - when he finally came inside me I could feel the force of it run through his entire body, and afterward he just clung to me and panted for several minutes.

”You okay?” I eventually asked, and after a minute he said,

“I just had the most powerful orgasm of my entire life.”

Which, of course, to him was monumental, but I was thinking: Of your entire 22-year life. Oh, sweetie, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

But it made me a little sad at the same time because I thought how nice it would be for sex to feel that new and potent snd unexplored again, and I knew that was something my well-worn cunt couldn’t recapture.

[JamesL100]

Surely, being ever optimistic, in the moment we all go out looking for good sex?
Why would you go out looking for bad sex? Or oven just passable sex?
Yet I have met guys who seem to be treading water or where I am babysitting them.
Lights on but nobody at home - especially if they are on on drugs.
So I can't get the connection I want or am used to. These days I cut the session short.
I do have highlights from my sexual career that cum to mind when I'm wanking 😉

[ErosWired]

8 hours ago, JamesL100 said:

Surely, being ever optimistic, in the moment we all go out looking for good sex?
Why would you go out looking for bad sex? Or oven just passable sex?

[…]
I do have highlights from my sexual career that cum to mind when I'm wanking

That sort of gets to the heart of the question - if a man knew that the sex he would get in the future isn’t going to be as good as the sex he keeps in hid mind as the best, would it cause him to possibly think twice about going out looking for sex and just end up getting off at home? It’s not that everything that isn’t the best sex automatically becomes ‘bad’ sex, but going forward from best necessarily means that the hope shifts to finding ‘great’ or ‘good’ sex and being content with it.

But does the knowledge that a better experience is possible color all those future encounters, however positive, and make them just that bit less? Might that knowledge downgrade what you might have otherwise considered ‘great’ to merely ‘good’? From ‘good’ to ‘acceptable’? From ‘acceptable’ to ‘passable’? When you start to think about the relative chance that any given random hookup will result in remarkable sex, you realize that most of it is going to be average (acceptable); if a man is influenced by the above thinking, that means the average hookup is likely to seem passable, and as you ask, why would you go out looking for that?

The answer, I suppose, is that something is better than nothing, as is demonstrated by the fact that when I host I always get a sharp uptick in takers right about 2:30am - when their night’s prowl for Mr. Desirable has come up empty and they still need a fuck. They then use the anon hole available without much regard to what’s great or passable because the’ve got to have something. I don’t mind being something - it’s what I’m meant for. But it makes me wonder how many men might be giving up on sex before they ever get to my hole and discover that it was worth their effort.

Edited February 11, 2022 by ErosWired

[evilqueerpig]

Was with my dear friend with benefits.  Every time with him was the best and beyond sex.  The stars never aligned for us to be lovers and unfortunately, he died but I'm left with cherished memories.

[hntnhole]

7 hours ago, ErosWired said:

It’s not that everything that isn’t the best sex automatically becomes ‘bad’ sex, but going forward from best necessarily means that the hope shifts to finding ‘great’ or ‘good’ sex and being content with it.

This ^ is how I understand this issue too.  Consider having sex like a piano keyboard:  most works are performed in the mid-range tessatura.  Maybe some very high-pitched keys used, maybe some very low keys used, but most of the body of the piece being performed lies in the middle 2 or 3 octaves.  This doesn't imply (obviously) that a score played beautifully in the middle range of octaves can't - merely by the fact that the extremities of the keyboard are absent - be beautifully conceived and performed.  All it means is that the beauty of the work lies in a more commonly used range.  

So it is with having sex with many men.  The best hottest most thrilling trilling heights may not be there, nor the lowest, most deeply, resonating within our chest, almost felt - not heard,  pitches are played.  Not every piece of music is Bachian in genius, Mozartian in uttermost grace, vs some of the current "artists" that lack these attributes.  Point:  There is a Universe of sexual activity, from the mundane to the magnificent.  Anytime one hears a new recording, goes to a concert, stageplay, whatever, there is always that chance that the experience will be stunning - spectacular.  Of course, the opposite may be the case as well.  Anyone hitting the tubs, gh's, backrooms, fuckjoints can and most likely will experience the same.  But indulging in the behavior - whether "high-minded" or base - is the key to whether or not we find thrilling, highly memorable experiences or less-than memorable ones. 

If we don't follow our instincts to share sex with multitudes of men, we definitely won't experience that "Bach" waiting in the next booth, or that "Mozart" with his Hole in the air right next to us.  It's the behavior, not the actual results, that counts most.