Things that men say that get me going

[Guest]

i am a big believer that sex is a form of bonding and an expression of profound emotional involvement. This is illustrated by the sort of things i love to hear a Top say:

·       Shut the fuck up and bend over

·       Now lick it clean

·       Stay there, my boyfriend wants a go

·       I’ll see you around. Maybe.

What really gets you guys going at a deep meaningful level?

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

"Wanna fuck?"

At my core, I'm a simple man.

[DarkroomTaker]

I'm not gay, just love mens ass.

BEND...

[NHeat]

Clean it.

[Pigforcum]

I love hearing gay slurs, fag, queer, homo as the guy is fucking me

[evilqueerpig]

Good eatin and good fuckin!

Don't go anywhere, I ain't done with you!

Felchin never tasted this good!

[120DaysofSodom]

I love being called a faggot and a slut, pathetic, worthless, things like that. Anything that makes me feel like subhuman trash basically.

[bottomboib]

43 minutes ago, 120DaysofSodom said:

I love being called a faggot and a slut, pathetic, worthless, things like that. Anything that makes me feel like subhuman trash basically.

Took the words right out of my mouth

[TwinkChaserSlut]

2 hours ago, bottomboib said:

Took the words right out of my mouth

Agreed, love the verbal!

[LeoSolaro]

“This hole belongs to me!”

”Come take this cock faggot”

”Good slut/good boy”

 

[studpony]

"your ass is better than pussy"

had a guy that turned into a regular thing, every few weeks he would hit me up on gridr, breed me with his fat BBC, then bounce. the last time we fucked he said my ass was better than pussy, its stayed with me since. something Ive come to believe and tell myself when I feel discouraged. 

[hungry_hole]

On 3/9/2022 at 1:57 PM, fatbottom said:

What really gets you guys going at a deep meaningful level?

"I'm getting close!"

[tallslenderguy]

On 3/9/2022 at 10:57 AM, fatbottom said:

i am a big believer that sex is a form of bonding and an expression of profound emotional involvement. This is illustrated by the sort of things i love to hear a Top say:

·       Shut the fuck up and bend over

·       Now lick it clean

·       Stay there, my boyfriend wants a go

·       I’ll see you around. Maybe.

What really gets you guys going at a deep meaningful level?

i've long considered the paradox of degradation/humilation/[banned word] that many of us are erotically excited by, as well as feeling connected and bonded with guys who use them.  The contradiction is glaring when a guy uses terms like 'worthless,' while making the effort of seeking you out and putting his cock in you because he gets pleasure from you.

i've come to believe that the contradiction is because of cultural conditioning.  Many (most?) of us have grown up in, or long lived in 'normative' culture/s that consider being gay as "less than, perverted, sinful, broken, deviant, etc., etc.."   Terms associated with being gay, or associated with gay sex, become slurs, derogatory, insulting, in normative culture. 

For me, it's not just "the things men say that get me going," but how they say them.  i don't want anything to do with mean men or bullies, i may politely decline sex with them, but inside i am raging, not against them, but against the hateful, (self) loathing (conditioned) energy/attitude/emotion.  

On the other hand, when i see the lust/need in a Mans eyes, expressions, and His desire to be with me is obvious and evident to both of us, those degrading/humiliating terms become affirming-for both of us- and a powerful means of connection and bonding.  i have come to think of it as "affectionate degradation/humiliation." For me, there are few things more powerful.

We cannot help the emotions that have been conditioned into us. Our cognitive brain may know better or differently, but our feelings do not always follow our reason or rational beliefs or knowledge. The difference between "affectionate" vs "loathing" is, the affectionate attitude is affirming to who and how we are and is an in-your-face: "fuck you," to the culture that conditioned those feelings into us. To me, the "loathing" attitude is acquiescence, from both Top and bottom, to the ethnocentric hate and ignorance that conditioned those feelings. 

For me, it's not what is said, but how it is said that either gets me going, or gets me gone.

 

[hntnhole]

2 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

We cannot help the emotions that have been conditioned into us.

I'm no convinced there is no recourse to these emotions.  While powerful, the conditioned stuff can - with effort, probably years worth - be expunged in favor of a more inclusive, reasonable and productive "self-conditioning".  While it's relatively easy to reject the silly garbage* O.R. has drummed into us to enhance it's control over us, I will grant that it's more difficult to reach deeper levels of understanding, but it's hardly impossible.  

When we recognize that we are - in a sense - "victims" of the dominant culture, inculcated with "crowd control" mechanisms, it's easier to recognize them in ourselves, and root them out.  We simply don't have to accept bullshit.  We are able to re-orient our thinking, our mindset, and become better men.

*oh - say - cannibalism, virgin birth, walking on water, resurrection - none of which serves the Original Message.

To the rest of the reply, I fully understand that it's not the exact words, but how they're delivered that counts.  For example, if I say to some guy "you're a filthy, nasty cumdump" with an angry or judgmental tone, it's totally inappropriate of me.  However, if I have my Cock up some hot Hole, and softly say those words, purring into his ear, I could just as well be saying "you're a filthy, nasty cumdump and I love you all the more for it".  It's completely possible to make Love to a man and his Lust without ever seeing his face, knowing his name, or his political views, or whether he ate one egg or two that morning. 

2 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

For me, it's not what is said, but how it is said that either gets me going

We're in absolute agreement yet again .....

[tallslenderguy]

1 hour ago, hntnhole said:

I'm no convinced there is no recourse to these emotions. 

i agree. i usually catch absolutist claims i make and edit them out. In a sense, i think what we are discussing. We  can recondition when we turn normative pejoratives, that have been glued to us and our sexuality, into fuel and affirmation, 

Another case in point is the religious notions. i used to feel condemned by "God," but have not felt that way for a long time. It's not rebellion or ignoring, but a true change of feeling. It took a lot of processing to change that, but it happened. Ironically, the religious system that conditioned me also aided me in that process. It made unreasonable and unrealistic demands of change, and thereby isolated me with "God," and over time, i found that my feelings and notions of "God" were a human construct. 

1 hour ago, hntnhole said:

if I have my Cock up some hot Hole, and softly say those words, purring into his ear, I could just as well be saying "you're a filthy, nasty cumdump

What is real for me, and i think for many of us, is my sexual nature. Opposites attract in nature, connect, bond  and form new compound. For me, when a Top does this He is exercising our opposite nature and bonding. He's impregnating me and making something awesome, not destroying or tearing down.