Okay, Explain: Why Hit On Guys On The Opposite Side Of The Fucking Planet?

[ErosWired]

Early this morning I get an enthusiastic message from a Top complimenting how good my ass looks in my pics, saying how good he thinks it would feel gripping and milking his cock. He’s not a bot, he’s an actual guy…

In Sydney, Australia. Over 9,000 miles away. Practically at the antipode of the earth from my location - he couldn’t be any farther away. There’s no possibility whatsoever of hooking up - nobody’s cock is that long. What was the point of him hitting on me?

Irksome as this was, he also added, as a Top, how having his cock squeezed by a cunt always gave him the most intense orgasms…while sniffing poppers. 🤨 Tops and poppers! [rant, rave] But I digress.

Why, why, why do men message guys from impossible distances? Do you do this? Why, for God’s sake?

[AirmaxUK]

My cynical answer is that because, it seems maybe 90% of guys online are here for only gratification and/or tittilation.  Fewer are here to make friends or arrange to meet.  He may be looking for the modern equivalent of phonesex?

Less cynically: On the other hand, telling someone or acknowledging how hot they look or whatever actually doesn't cost much time and strokes their ego, while giving out some positive vibe/energy makes both parties feel better, so I don't think it's a bad thing. Some of us appreciate compliments, even from far off, as they don't come often enough!  

But, I agree, it can be a distraction if you are trying to arrange meets. As always being open and up front about what you're looking for helps. 

I have also had a few great meets with guys who messaged me from afar but were planning a trip to London or Berlin.  

[Guest]

I am in Aussie and get these guys all the time on Squirt,  who live in the USA.....so annoying. Tbe only reason they contact me,  I assume, is they have read my hot Cocktale on Squirt. They even invite me to cumdump and Blast parties in the States!

[SpectreAgent]

If someone wishes to tell me my ass looks good in pictures, he could live on Mars for all I care. It costs neither of us anything. And in a world heading to Hell in a handcart, it adds a tiny glimmer of positivity (no pun intended). 

[NWUSHorny]

My guess is they are guys that have no intention of actually fucking with anyone, for fantasy distance doesn't make a difference.

[BiCurious100]

It could simply be that he didn't fully read your profile.  He might have only got as far as your pic and then sent you the message, not know (or caring) where you are based 😆

Also, some profiles might not have the correct location specified, so he might have just been reaching out on the off-chance...

[BlackDude]

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving a compliment, or having a brief convo about how’s thing are in there side of the world. 

[NWUSHorny]

3 minutes ago, BlackDude said:

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving a compliment, or having a brief convo about how’s thing are in there side of the world. 

Isn't the point of a hookup site to actually hookup for a fuck? Based on empirical evidence, I realize those of us that believe that may be an extremely small minority.

[BlackDude]

43 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

Isn't the point of a hookup site to actually hookup for a fuck? Based on empirical evidence, I realize those of us that believe that may be an extremely small minority.

True. But I already know if your in Turkey, we’re not fucking so there’s no expectations. Prob just killing time til the next fuck. 

[DarkroomTaker]

 

17 hours ago, RawPlug said:

If someone wishes to tell me my ass looks good in pictures, he could live on Mars for all I care. It costs neither of us anything. And in a world heading to Hell in a handcart, it adds a tiny glimmer of positivity (no pun intended). 

 

11 hours ago, BlackDude said:

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving a compliment, or having a brief convo about how’s thing are in there side of the world. 

Exactly ^^^^^, I agree with above and what harm is it really doing?

The world is a upside down place of late and its good that people can reach out across the world, even taking the time to say what a nice ass you got.

If you dont want it, tell them or block them I guess.

[ErosWired]

10 hours ago, BlackDude said:

True. But I already know if your in Turkey, we’re not fucking so there’s no expectations. Prob just killing time til the next fuck. 

I think that’s part of the reason the apps are failing to serve their intended purpose. Time-wasters just use them to waste time.

 

22 hours ago, AirmaxAndy said:

I have also had a few great meets with guys who messaged me from afar but were planning a trip to London or Berlin.  

Perhaps I’m being both jaded and skittish about this - the very, very first gay hookup I had was with a guy I met online who traveled to me to suck me off… from the Yukon Territory in Canada. It was like 3,000 miles one-way. It was a nightmare because he thought he had found something and I was still married and very confused. He left in a tiff.

[Leather69]

I too live in Australia and have admired a few guys off web sites in the UK and Europe and have messaged them. Ultimately we have met up on my frequent overseas travels.. annually before covid. Hopefully again this year.

[onlyraw]

I am on both sides of this - and it partly depends on the app

prior to Covid I was more dubious- and if it was a younger guy hitting me up from far away I just assumed they were looking for a sugar daddy to be there green card to the US and I ignored them 

post Covid- (especially the early days)  when none of us could travel- much less hook up - especially on Recon - I took it more as just desperately looking community - that guys just had more time at home to do more specific searches - as it was frustrating- we were frequently exactly what each other was looking for in our unique list of fetishes - so I had some nice hot chats

but also if it is site where you have a limited number of messages- it is annoying 

 

 

[viking8x6]

I'll dish out compliments to guys at any distance, but unless there's some reasonable probability of actual colocation in the foreseeable future, I won't add any sexual fantasy material. I figure it's always nice to be appreciated.

[BootmanLA]

My thoughts:

1. Yes, some guys are on "the apps" just as a means of chatting with a guy and jacking off to hot talk about what he'd like to do to/with the guy. For those people, obviously, distance isn't really a factor.

2. Some people just like giving compliments to men who appeal to them, regardless of distance.

3. Most of "the apps" have a field where you can check off all the things you're looking for (in terms of your interaction with others). For instance:

Growlr allows you to check boxes for "Love, Dates, Conversation, Friends, No Strings Attached, Husband, Significant Other, Networking" within that category of "interactions sought".

Scruff has a field called "Open to" and allows the choices of "Friendships, Relationships, Random Play/NSA, Dates, Chat Only, Networking".

I'm sure most sites (not necessarily all) have such options, which means: people who are using the app for any of those purposes does not mean the app is "failing to serve their intended purpose." An app may not meet YOUR particular needs or wants, but complaining that there are people looking for things other than what you want is like going to a general restaurant that serves a wide variety of food and being upset that not every dish on the menu is Italian.

As I see it: many of the apps view themselves as a virtual combination of the old fashioned gay bar and LGBT community center, minus the alcohol and smoke stench. Just as some people used to go out hoping to get laid and some used to go out hoping to meet a new boyfriend, different people can want different things "on the apps."

All that said: one can, of course, make it clear in one's profile that one is not interested in idle chit-chat, even compliments; that you're only interested in sex, and you want it fairly soon, so don't bother chatting unless you're ready to deliver. Of course, that runs the risk of offending those who might well "deliver" but who like a little more lead-in effort. Them's the breaks.