What do you make of this?

[AirmaxUK]

No posts recently as I've been enjoying Berlin Leather Fetish weekend. 

On the train from Alexanderplatz to Nollendorfplatz (where most of the events are), two guys are sat a few seats away. They have voices that kinda carry and speaking English they stand out to me. I gather from the conversation they are both living/working in the city for a period and hooked up last night. 

#1: Hey we should go to "Der Boiler" (Sauna) tomorrow - it'll be fun.

#2: Maybe not - its leather weekend over Easter.  

#1: So, it'll be busy?

#2: Those fetish guys will be around and they will totally ruin it. They only dress up in the fetish gear because it's like putting on a costume to try and polish a turd.

#1: Yeah, I know. Hate that.

My thoughts:

• Gay men have been discriminated against for so long but why do we find it so easy to turn on each other like that?
• Most guys dress in fetish gear because it turns them on - I think there likely are a few who benefit from what it can hide, but it's not the reason people are into it. 
• If you try shopping for fetish gear it is very hard to get anything in larger sizes or cut for the 'fuller figure', especially in London and Berlin. Made to measure is the only option. 
• and lastly, Fuck 'em:  I'm about to get my gear on and head out to Woof for the afternoon. Not only polishing this turd, but rolling it in glitter and enjoying every minute. 

[RawUK]

Absolutely best attitude to have. 

You go for it @AirmaxUK and continue to enjoy the extended weekend! Wish I was there too, however I'm not, so I'm going to venture to S.O.P for my first visit since January 2020 (which incidentally, later in that month, was also the last time I visited Berlin)! 

[fskn]

I agree completely with your thoughts, @AirmaxUK.

As for why gay men, still facing some oppression from outsiders, "find it so easy to turn on each other", I chalk it up to rising levels of equality. Gay men are just like everyone else, and we are now free to behave just like everyone else, including being mean to one another.

In truth, there has always been an effort to exclude people on the fringes of the community: effeminate men, fetishists, trans people, and other non-conformists. A knee-jerk justification was that conformity was necessary for the gay community to appear respectable and to gain recognition from outsiders. You see this in the film Der Kreis, about an early European gay men's organization. Trans people, and gay men who resist monogamy and gay marriage in favor of continuing to openly fuck lots of random men, seem to be today's main targets for exclusion. The targets change over time; there will always be a new "other" to put down.

As for difficulty finding gear for all body types and sizes, what a shame. Gear manufacturers, and fashion companies in general, are missing out on lots of potential revenue. (I was going to write, "missing out on a large market", but I wanted to avoid the trap of double entendre. 🙂) The odd time that I see a porn actor with a regular body, or an ad featuring a heavier person, I am always happy.

Until more people wake up and realize that beauty comes in all sizes, don your tailored gear and have fun!

[hntnhole]

100 %, Andy !!!  Don't give those idiots another whisp of your air.  Have a great time wherever you're going.

To the fetish-gear issue:  I just checked, and VK-79 is still in business.  Speaking only for men holding a fetish for Leather gear, VK-79 creates made-to-measure, exact replications of military gear, with no hint of the political horrors that accompanied those years.  It's an easy train ride out to Karow, their website provides clear directions.  Juergen is (I think) still the proprietor and principal tailor, Mirco having passed some years ago now.  The gear is as fine-quality as it gets, and any man interested in Leather gear should at least check out the website.  True, the best is never cheap, but I can say from experience that walking into a Leatherbar wearing VK-79 gear, will make your Cock hard when the crowd parts as you advance.  

[BBArchangel]

I have often told some of my larger friends that Leather isn’t about how you look, it’s about how it makes you feel when you wear it. 

[hntnhole]

1 hour ago, BBArchangel said:

it’s about how it makes you feel

Perfectly said, BBArchangel.  It magnifies the Man inside the man.  It holds us to a Higher Standard than jeans & a t-shirt.  It's an outward manifestation of love and respect for others.  I've lived a far better life as a Leatherman than I otherwise would have.  

[funpozbottom]

My thoughts on your thoughts:

Quote

Gay men have been discriminated against for so long but why do we find it so easy to turn on each other like that?

Sadly, it seems that when someone has a history of feeling marginalized and then finds a group that accepts them, they often judge or reject others that share their former situation or don't "live up" to their expectations or what they imagine the group should stand for. Personally, I had enough of being judged when I was younger -- I don't have time to put up with that now.

 

Quote

Most guys dress in fetish gear because it turns them on - I think there likely are a few who benefit from what it can hide, but it's not the reason people are into it. 

The funny thing about people who bash various "costumes" is that they don't realize they are wearing a costume themselves.  Jeans and T-shirt? It's a costume.  Suit and tie? Just another costume. Drag, Harness, Motocross gear, Murrsuit or pup hood? They are all just costumes that may say a little bit about a person's imagination, level of acceptance, and the role they wish to take on at a particular time. If wearing a particular costume or gear set makes you feel good, gives you confidence, or turns you on, then I say wear it and have fun.

 

Quote

If you try shopping for fetish gear it is very hard to get anything in larger sizes or cut for the 'fuller figure', especially in London and Berlin. Made to measure is the only option. 

I've been trying to think of a good home-based business I could get into once I retire,  so ... how big of a market would there be for this?

 

Quote

and lastly, Fuck 'em:  I'm about to get my gear on and head out to Woof for the afternoon. Not only polishing this turd, but rolling it in glitter and enjoying every minute. 

I like to spit polish turds but glitter gets stuck in my teeth.

 

 

 

[NWUSHorny]

There reasoning is different from mine. I love leather events in most places, the only exception is if it is in a city where most guys go to model their gear for everyone to admire instead of using it to enhance the sex. I avoid all fetish events in cities where I know that to be true.

[evilalex]

There are a lot of shallow people in the gay community(ies). I mean, including me, but I'm not shallow enough to ridicule what people like.

[AirmaxUK]

Some great responses here - the other thought I had is that unless you're a part of the fetish community then it must be quite difficult to really understand how the gear makes you feel different. And not understanding sows the seed from which is grown prejudice. 

Personally, wearing gear has several effects:

I've never had the stereotypical body image - few people do - but everyone fixates on them.  Wearing cool or interesting/unqiue gear offers a way to stand out and be noticed. Generally I tend to go for gear that is different or unique, and am attracted to those who're the same. That extends to everyday life - I tend to dress how I want, stand out, not to fit in. It's always a good excuse for a conversation starter at events. 

Also certain gear can be practical, and enhances activities. Armoured bike gear for instance mean that "rough" can graduate to "extremely rough".   

Rubber is an interesting one - the look/feel/smell/taste is very much amazing on the senses, but full coverage (inc a hood) adds to the thrill of making a truly anonymous encounter. I associate latex with a barrier and playing with someone in full rubber is like the opposite of someone wearing a condom - you can't experience their skin except their cock/ass/mouth are the only exposed parts. It leaves those parts unprotected. 

13 hours ago, funpozbottom said:

I've been trying to think of a good home-based business I could get into once I retire,  so ... how big of a market would there be for this?

There are places that do made to measure latex and leather.  I have a Vanson bike leathers which were made to measure. Places like Bob's Rubber, latex catfish and libidex do made to measure, but my experience here is that measuring yourself and buying online isn't as good as made to measure in person.  What's missing is off the peg in XXL+ sizes, and cuts that suit dadbod/bear shapes rather than V-shapes.

My partner wears M/L in regular clothing (eg Superdry). When you go shopping for gear he's an XL/XXL. Many places don't stock anything bigger than XL off the peg. 

Through lockdown we've experimented with making our own rubber. Using t-shirts, vests, jocks and shorts as patterns to get the shapes of the panels and then cutting and sticking the latex with the correct glue. It's really had to get a professional finish but we learned a lot doing it. 

Thinking back, in the 70's, when I was a kid there was a TV programme called "Mr Ben".  (See link below) I often wonder how many guys my age watched that and grew up believing that you could really be a knight if you just have the right gear.  I bet it put a lot of us on the path to escapism through fetishwear!

And for those interested - the Skinhead/sports party at Woof was great. 

Link to Mr Ben video: youtube.com/watch?v=KJuj_ZT8pjU

[pimpinpreppy]

The guys who speak like this in public are usually the guys who are, at the very least, jacking off to it.  Kind of like guys who proclaim they play safe but are the first ones with a raw cock in their ass.  Judgement doesn't need to be passed.  Just enjoy what you want to enjoy.  Though many times, ridicule comes from personal repression.

[fskn]

17 hours ago, funpozbottom said:

The funny thing about people who bash various "costumes" is that they don't realize they are wearing a costume themselves.  Jeans and T-shirt? It's a costume.  Suit and tie? Just another costume. Drag, Harness, Motocross gear, Murrsuit or pup hood? They are all just costumes that may say a little bit about a person's imagination, level of acceptance, and the role they wish to take on at a particular time.

This is an excellent point!

4 hours ago, AirmaxAndy said:

I've never had the stereotypical body image - few people do - but everyone fixates on them.  Wearing cool or interesting/unqiue gear offers a way to stand out and be noticed. Generally I tend to go for gear that is different or unique, and am attracted to those who're the same. That extends to everyday life - I tend to dress how I want, stand out, not to fit in. It's always a good excuse for a conversation starter at events.

I'd never thought of that benefit of wearing gear, even though, in day-to-day life, I wear unusual glasses that have the effect you describe. First and foremost, I like them, but they also end up serving as an ice-breaker. Many an interesting conversation has resulted.

[evilqueerpig]

Doesn't bode well for Americans reputation, but as an unrepentant PIG, I do my part to improve things.

[str8mature5]

On 4/16/2022 at 12:19 PM, fskn said:

I agree completely with your thoughts, @AirmaxAndy

My exact feelings also!

[hntnhole]

20 hours ago, funpozbottom said:

Jeans and T-shirt?

Well, we gotta wear something ...... jeans and a T-shirt aren't a "costume" - they keep us outta the clink ......