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On 10/24/2022 at 4:15 PM, topblkmale said:

As a black American, I have never experienced racism from gays in Mexico, Central or South America. 

 

Now I HAVE received negative energy in bars and bathhouses in Latin America for being perceived as an English-speaking foreigner.

Many seem disappointed I'm not Colombian, Panamanian, Cuban or Dominican.

 

For them its cultural difference. And I agree with them.

Interesting. I don’t have alot if issues with guys from Central America and Mexico. We get along just fine for the most part. 
 

But most of the Latino guys I meet for the Carribean or South America are just as racist as the white guys. In fact, they go further.  Almost like they have something to prove. And they have no problem with American culture, as long as it’s packaged in whiteness. 

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11 minutes ago, BlackDude said:

Interesting. I don’t have alot if issues with guys from Central America and Mexico. We get along just fine for the most part. 
 

But most of the Latino guys I meet for the Caribbean or South America are just as racist as the white guys. In fact, they go further.  Almost like they have something to prove. And they have no problem with American culture, as long as it’s packaged in whiteness. 

For context, in what part of the US are you located? I'm guessing South Florida.

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I've been turned down because I'm black more times than I can count, so it's definitely a thing that happens quite a lot, but very few people will openly admit it. While this hit my self esteem in my early 20s, now that I'm in my 30s I can care less. There are plenty of people interested in me. Better to focus on the good than the bad. Sometimes it feels like I'm being ignored because of my race, or I'm being fetishized because of it. You just have to have thick skin. 

 

Now I want to mention that having a racial preference isn't racist and shouldn't be considered racist. Everyone has their preferences when it comes to various things, and just because you don't fit someone's preference shouldn't be a big deal. Just move on.

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13 minutes ago, BlackDude said:

Interesting. I don’t have alot if issues with guys from Central America and Mexico. We get along just fine for the most part. 
 

But most of the Latino guys I meet for the Carribean or South America are just as racist as the white guys. In fact, they go further.  Almost like they have something to prove. And they have no problem with American culture, as long as it’s packaged in whiteness. 

I’d have to say racism is Latin American certainly exists. It goes back to the Spanish and Portuguese colonization and increased as slaves from Africa were introduced. The Spanish “Casta” (caste) system is a perfect example of this. The Spanish were the apex of the hierarchy (excluding Portuguese colonies for this example). Any offspring resulting in the intermingling with the indigenous population were of lower caste. What’s is surprising that a family could “regain being Spanish” within three generations BUT only on through the male lineage (a topic for another day):

Spaniard & Indian woman - male child: Mestizo

Mestizo & Spanish woman - male child: Castizo

Castizo & Spanish woman - Spanish children

This caste system also includes a hierarchy for those of African descent but without being able to become “Spanish” again. All this has resulted in a very overt discrimination based on skin color/shade. Just as an example… turn to your local Spanish language channel in the evenings when the telenovelas are on. You’ll notice the main protagonists will be light skinned European in appearance while the “staff”’will be appear darker/indigenous.  

Latin America colonization can be seem in every family as the skin tones can run the gamut from light skin/blond/blue-eyed to very dark skin/dark curly/black-eyed children within the same family. Unfortunately in some families, the children are treated differently.

All this results in creating overt/covert systemic racial discrimination. 

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15 hours ago, Fitanoncumswallow said:

I've been turned down because I'm black more times than I can count, so it's definitely a thing that happens quite a lot, but very few people will openly admit it. While this hit my self esteem in my early 20s, now that I'm in my 30s I can care less. There are plenty of people interested in me. Better to focus on the good than the bad. Sometimes it feels like I'm being ignored because of my race, or I'm being fetishized because of it. You just have to have thick skin. 

 

Now I want to mention that having a racial preference isn't racist and shouldn't be considered racist. Everyone has their preferences when it comes to various things, and just because you don't fit someone's preference shouldn't be a big deal. Just move on.

Did you experience this in your 20s as a top, bottom, or verse?

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43 minutes ago, Keithisgay said:

Race has always been unimportant to me being a white male I did perfer interracial black men are my favorites.  Then I find all the races sexy but abwell hung dark black man is my fav 

I question your sincerity. You say "race has always been unimportant" and then go on to say, three different ways, that race is important enough to have a preference:

a) "I did prefer interracial"

b) "black men are my favorites"

c) "a well hung dark black man is my fav"

Hard to square three iterations of declaring a preference for men of one race with the notion that it's "unimportant"; you may mean it's not "required", but that's not the same thing. 

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17 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

I question your sincerity. You say "race has always been unimportant" and then go on to say, three different ways, that race is important enough to have a preference:

a) "I did prefer interracial"

b) "black men are my favorites"

c) "a well hung dark black man is my fav"

Hard to square three iterations of declaring a preference for men of one race with the notion that it's "unimportant"; you may mean it's not "required", but that's not the same thing. 

I didn't find anything non sincere about him having a preference. I love all sodas and as a black man I love grape soda more if given a choice. 👍☑️

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7 hours ago, topblkmale said:

I didn't find anything non sincere about him having a preference. I love all sodas and as a black man I love grape soda more if given a choice. 👍☑️

And there's nothing wrong with having a soda preference. But that's not compatible with saying that soda flavor doesn't matter. I'll drink most sodas if I'm thirsty, but I absolutely have a preference and thus  I'll never say it doesn't matter to me. 

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44 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

And there's nothing wrong with having a soda preference. But that's not compatible with saying that soda flavor doesn't matter. I'll drink most sodas if I'm thirsty, but I absolutely have a preference and thus  I'll never say it doesn't matter to me. 

Using the above example and by no means knocking @BootmanLA or disagreeing with him…. to me this thread seems to be equating preferences… to an extent at times… with racial discrimination.  Say I state I prefer orange soda and absolutely will not drink a cola even if I am dying of thirst because of the ingredients of the cola even if they will not do me any harm and satisfy my thirst. That to me is the distinction between preference and discrimination using the soda analogy.  So if you have a preference … by all means you’re welcome to it. But the minute you start disparaging those outside your preference… then we have issues. 

Edited by badjujuboy
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23 hours ago, badjujuboy said:

Using the above example and by no means knocking @BootmanLA or disagreeing with him…. to me this thread seems to be equating preferences… to an extent at times… with racial discrimination.  Say I state I prefer orange soda and absolutely will not drink a cola even if I am dying of thirst because of the ingredients of the cola even if they will not do me any harm and satisfy my thirst. That to me is the distinction between preference and discrimination using the soda analogy.  So if you have a preference … by all means you’re welcome to it. But the minute you start disparaging those outside your preference… then we have issues. 

FWIW - and I'm not saying you misunderstood what I wrote - I believe it's possible to have a preference for one thing over another without it being "discrimination". But the soda analogy came up in response to someone who insisted race was unimportant and then went on three times to say how much he preferred one race over another - those are not compatible statements, 

And I don't think anyone has any obligation to have sex with anyone else - no matter on what basis the decision is made. 

That said: in my opinion, people are not "things", and we have (or ought to have) an obligation to treat them better than things, because they have feelings. In an ideal world, in my opinion, people would rarely, if ever, have any idea why someone declined to sleep with them. I also think, in an ideal world, anyone who categorically rejects groups of people on the basis of a physical characteristic should have the balls to actually directly decline any overtures from such a person rather than hide behind a profile statement of "No blacks" or "No fatties" or "Darker skins only".

I've said this before, I think, but: Expressing a statement like that in a profile simply means "I know I'm rejecting people for a superficial reason but if I put it in writing and don't have to reject someone to his face I can pretend I'm better than that and I don't have to feel uncomfortable." All he's really doing is offloading the discomfort onto the people who read his profile.

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  • 5 weeks later...

The gay community, both black, non-black and white, do a lot of lying. It’s better guys are truthful in my opinion. 
 

Alot of white guys use the preference argument and limit it to sex. When truth is, they just don’t like black people period. And they don’t want anyone around them to like blacks either. They won’t hire black people, support their businesses or agenda, follow them in stores, and do all the other stuff any other racists would do. And their lying only hurts black gay men more.
 

And alot of gay black men are so desperate for interracial sexual and social access, they will act like this racist stuff doesn’t exist among gays. Their main objective is to be the sole black mascot (or mangido) to a group of non black friends.  They will defend racism in the gay community at any cost. At times, they may be the bit of the joke. And they accept because to them being a second class citizen in a group of non-black friends is better than being treated as equal in a group of black friends. 

Comments like “no blacks” Pierces their very soul, because it calls into question their purpose for being. 

 

I find it very sad when I see older black gay men struggling. Because, unfortunately, alot of them wasted too much time, money, and resources chasing the dream of interracial sexual and social access. Signing away homes, going on trips they can’t afford, staying in dead end jobs, refusing to network with other blacks. All so they could prove they somehow escaped or graduated blackness. 
 

If more racist white guys were more honest about their feelings, maybe it would save alot of black men time and effort. Alot of this isn’t about sex. It’s an ingrained white supremacist belief system the encompasses all areas of life. 

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19 hours ago, BlackDude said:

It’s an ingrained white supremacist belief system the encompasses all areas of life.

Thanks for those thoughts, BlackDude.  You're entirely correct, and that is entirely regrettable.  I can almost always take the bright side, or at least the hopeful side of a discussion, but I'm beginning to wonder lately.  You already know how this country was founded, built, and that terrible fault has yet to be ameliorated.  Worse, there are politicians actually defending the depravity of white privilege, and the racists, haters, the whole pot of boiling misery is getting more widespread.  

I'm sorry to know that there are Blacks gay guys that still want to be associated with we pale ones - we don't deserve it.

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1 hour ago, hntnhole said:

Thanks for those thoughts, BlackDude.  You're entirely correct, and that is entirely regrettable.  I can almost always take the bright side, or at least the hopeful side of a discussion, but I'm beginning to wonder lately.  You already know how this country was founded, built, and that terrible fault has yet to be ameliorated.  Worse, there are politicians actually defending the depravity of white privilege, and the racists, haters, the whole pot of boiling misery is getting more widespread.  

I'm sorry to know that there are Blacks gay guys that still want to be associated with we pale ones - we don't deserve it.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dating and ducking interracially. Except when it comes to the point you have to degrade yourself or your self worth is determined by your proximity to non-black men. 

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