Inter-racial sex

[BootmanLA]

21 hours ago, BlackDude said:

That’s a battle not worth fighting. I understand certain people get psychological benefits from only having sex with white or white identifying men. That’s like asking a peacock not to show its feathers. It’s core to their identity. 

What they need to understand is that certain responses online may have legal or even physical consequences in the real world. 

I respectfully disagree at least for some (though not all) such people.

Some white guys doesn't want to have sex with a black guy because they're fixated on, say, thin, small-framed Asian guys, or beefy muscular Arab men, or whatever, They're not targeting black men because they have something against black men; they're targeting all non-[whatever] guys, including white, black, or whatever men who don't fit the profile of the kind of guy they find appealing. There's an element of racism involved - but for lack of a better way to phrase it, one race is being elevated above the rest to the exclusion of everyone else, including the person's OWN race. That's not quite the same kind of racism as excluding everyone who doesn't match oneself.

In many ways, that kind of  "I only like" racism is not really any different from guys who will only have sex with redheads, or guys over 6'2", or guys who are at least 250 lbs.

But yes, there are also some white guys who don't want to have sex with a black guy, even if they'll have sex with another white guy (and maybe a Latino guy, an Asian man, an Arab man, an Inuit man, or a First Nations man). And yeah, that's racism of a much worse kind, because it's targeting one race or ethnicity (or sometimes, a few races or ethnicities) for exclusion. 

[topblkmale]

On 10/14/2022 at 4:16 PM, BootmanLA said:

 

But yes, there are also some white guys who don't want to have sex with a black guy, even if they'll have sex with another white guy (and maybe a Latino guy, an Asian man, an Arab man, an Inuit man, or a First Nations man). And yeah, that's racism of a much worse kind, because it's targeting one race or ethnicity (or sometimes, a few races or ethnicities) for exclusion. 

Also some black guys that don't want to have sex with a white guy. 😱

[Pozpunk]

I’m bothered when the term is even used. Race. Like it’s a real thing.  it’s not,it’s made up. The idea that different skin color or variations of such. Represent a different large enough to point out is a big fat lie. This language is designed and created with the purpose to divide people. There aren’t different races. There’s one race,all of human diversity is represented in the single human race. Black and white, yellow and red all one human race. Different ethnicities is something to talk about.

[BootmanLA]

5 hours ago, topblkmale said:

Also some black guys that don't want to have sex with a white guy. 😱

Absolutely true, and I certainly don't mean to suggest that racial preferences only go one way, or that everyone is happy to have sex with white guys while that's not the case with other races and ethnicities. Far from it.

Still, I'd posit that there are a lot more (or a higher percentage of) white guys who either (a) actively reject some other races/ethnicities - hence the once-ubiquitous "no blacks" in personal ads- or (b) only go after people of those races/ethnicities as part of a fetish - wanting "BBC" or "tight Asian boy pussy" or whatever, than the number/percentage of non-white men who reject everyone other than their own race. At least in the United States, which has hundreds of years of that kind of conditioning to break through.

[JamesL100]

Also ageism .. seeking only under-25s or over 50/60s. Muscle only. Height requirements (relative or absolute). And some guys want women only!

[BlackDude]

On 10/14/2022 at 1:16 PM, BootmanLA said:

I respectfully disagree at least for some (though not all) such people.

Some white guys doesn't want to have sex with a black guy because they're fixated on, say, thin, small-framed Asian guys, or beefy muscular Arab men, or whatever, They're not targeting black men because they have something against black men; they're targeting all non-[whatever] guys, including white, black, or whatever men who don't fit the profile of the kind of guy they find appealing. There's an element of racism involved - but for lack of a better way to phrase it, one race is being elevated above the rest to the exclusion of everyone else, including the person's OWN race. That's not quite the same kind of racism as excluding everyone who doesn't match oneself.

In many ways, that kind of  "I only like" racism is not really any different from guys who will only have sex with redheads, or guys over 6'2", or guys who are at least 250 lbs.

But yes, there are also some white guys who don't want to have sex with a black guy, even if they'll have sex with another white guy (and maybe a Latino guy, an Asian man, an Arab man, an Inuit man, or a First Nations man). And yeah, that's racism of a much worse kind, because it's targeting one race or ethnicity (or sometimes, a few races or ethnicities) for exclusion. 

Well I didn’t say all, just certain guys. Being black for a long time, I see people actions toward other black people. 60% of non black gays will not sleep with another black guy. And that’s okay. Black guys in general need to stop begging for interracial sexual access. We waste too much time and resources. 

 

As far as comparing “white only” to other preferences, all of those are usually negotiable, except race. For certain guys, the number one criteria is to be white. Weight, age, fem/masc is evaluated on a case by case basis. NO ONE in the gay community is turning down hoards of white guys. 
 

And the number of black guys who turn down white guys is negligible. They few that do, usually have a strong fetish for Latino men. 

 

[BootmanLA]

57 minutes ago, BlackDude said:

Well I didn’t say all, just certain guys. Being black for a long time, I see people actions toward other black people. 60% of non black gays will not sleep with another black guy. And that’s okay. Black guys in general need to stop begging for interracial sexual access. We waste too much time and resources. 

As far as comparing “white only” to other preferences, all of those are usually negotiable, except race. For certain guys, the number one criteria is to be white. Weight, age, fem/masc is evaluated on a case by case basis. NO ONE in the gay community is turning down hoards of white guys. 

And the number of black guys who turn down white guys is negligible. They few that do, usually have a strong fetish for Latino men. 

That's kind of what I was getting at - to the extent there's a problem, to the extent that racial preference slides well into racism territory, it's almost exclusively a whites-excluding-others problem, and most of that is whites-excluding-blacks. It's just sad. 

[BlackDude]

1 hour ago, BootmanLA said:

That's kind of what I was getting at - to the extent there's a problem, to the extent that racial preference slides well into racism territory, it's almost exclusively a whites-excluding-others problem, and most of that is whites-excluding-blacks. It's just sad. 

I’m not going to give all the blame to the white guys. Unfortunately many Latinos, and most Asians have the same energy toward black guys. 

[BootmanLA]

55 minutes ago, BlackDude said:

I’m not going to give all the blame to the white guys. Unfortunately many Latinos, and most Asians have the same energy toward black guys. 

I wonder, though (since I haven't traveled abroad enough to know) whether that's something culturally inherited in the US/western countries because of white attitudes towards black people? In other words, do Asians in Asia have the same issues with black men as Asians in the U.S.? And is it equally distributed across Asia? Or do, say, Japanese display this more (or less) than Indians, or Malaysians, or Vietnamese?

As far as Latins from Central and South America go: given that the source of most of their black population (and those with significant black ancestry) is, like the U.S., from slavery, I can understand that the cultural dynamic might be similar. In some South American places, I know, the highest spots on the social order belong to the small number of people who are of almost entirely European descent, and as the percentage of native and/or black ancestry increases, one's social status not infrequently declines - especially in places which had huge slave populations, like Brazil.

So I guess what I'm wondering is - would you find the same bias against blacks among, say, Spaniards in Spain as opposed to Americans of Latin American descent, or among Indians in Bombay compared with, say, Vietnamese descendants in California. 

[topblkmale]

On 10/16/2022 at 11:52 PM, BootmanLA said:

I wonder, though (since I haven't traveled abroad enough to know) whether that's something culturally inherited in the US/western countries because of white attitudes towards black people? In other words, do Asians in Asia have the same issues with black men as Asians in the U.S.? And is it equally distributed across Asia? Or do, say, Japanese display this more (or less) than Indians, or Malaysians, or Vietnamese?

As far as Latins from Central and South America go: given that the source of most of their black population (and those with significant black ancestry) is, like the U.S., from slavery, I can understand that the cultural dynamic might be similar. In some South American places, I know, the highest spots on the social order belong to the small number of people who are of almost entirely European descent, and as the percentage of native and/or black ancestry increases, one's social status not infrequently declines - especially in places which had huge slave populations, like Brazil.

So I guess what I'm wondering is - would you find the same bias against blacks among, say, Spaniards in Spain as opposed to Americans of Latin American descent, or among Indians in Bombay compared with, say, Vietnamese descendants in California. 

As a black American, I have never experienced racism from gays in Mexico, Central or South America. 

 

Now I HAVE received negative energy in bars and bathhouses in Latin America for being perceived as an English-speaking foreigner.

Many seem disappointed I'm not Colombian, Panamanian, Cuban or Dominican.

 

For them its cultural difference. And I agree with them.

[Lucienblack88]

On 5/4/2022 at 6:26 AM, fskn said:

Thanks for taking the risk of being open about this.

Race play between consenting people can be hot. As a person of color, I think race play provides a way to respond to, and in some cases, reverse, inequality. I have a running race-play text message exchange with a white guy who likes being dominated (not just physically, but also psychologically, which is the aspect that turns me on) by Black men.

The emphasis is on consent. It's important to realize that many people have suffered terrible consequences due to race. Some — the optimists — might not even be conscious of the effects. A person of color has to trust a sexual partner's fundamental beliefs and basic intentions before being  willing to try race play.

As for preferences, I hope people realize that they can still accept and reject sexual partners based on whatever criteria they like, but without doing harm, by not stating race-based dislikes (or likes, which, when inverted, amount to dislikes). It's fine not to find a particular person attractive. It would not be fine to tell the person, "I don't find you attractive because you are Asian" or, worse yet, and totally false, "You are not attractive because you are Asian." (I chose the label "Asian" for these examples because it was until a year or two ago permissible, socially acceptable, and common for jerks to put "No Asians" in their Grindr profiles. The logic applies to any racial category, and it applies just as well when people, today, put a list of races they like, making the omission of some groups quite conspicuous.)

Thank you for writing this. I too mentioned something about the race filtering in dating.  Its a way to sexualize beliefs, philosophies or desires that some people have with their partners in a BDSM setting. 

 

 

 

 

[hntnhole]

I see you quoted fskn; does anyone know if everything's good with him?  He hasn't been around since late June. 

Hope all's well with him ...

[Guest]

Have had some of the most passionate and submissive raunchy sex with black men….mmm…so hot and so hungry for it

[TrashNoLoss]

On 4/21/2022 at 3:18 PM, ellentonboy said:

do you take into consideration the race of an individual or those attending a group function before you make a decision to attend or not?  Certain sites have organized group parties where you can see who has decided to attend.   But what if a friend invites you?  I know most ask for photos, but will the race be the final factor in deciding to attend or not?

There are still group functions?
I'll be damed. I thought they stopped in the 90's. Guess that proves I'm out of the loop now.

So not only don't men know how to gracefully exit a place but they also do not know how to accept an invitation without behaving like a spoiled high schooler  attending someone else's keg party?

,,,do you taken into consideration...before you make a decision to attend or not? No, I thought people were raised better.  If someone is inviting someone else to a social gathering then the person doing the inviting already knows the person they are asking to attend is a good fit. Asking anything about the guest list before you decide is the move of a complete tool.

Sometimes I think same skin color exclusion, a.k.a preference, is just as big of a problem. Try putting together a small group with or without input from a buddy or two of the opposite skin color and you will hear...

- I'm not into <insert YOUR skin color here> men. -

Yup. Got it. No problem. Only you and exclude any others like you. Oh wait, you're not hosting or financing the hosting so...if you attend then will see many different and same men of color. 

That's my $2, adjusted for inflation opinion.

[ellentonboy]

10 hours ago, NeedSeedBad said:

There are still group functions?
I'll be damed. I thought they stopped in the 90's. Guess that proves I'm out of the loop now.

So not only don't men know how to gracefully exit a place but they also do not know how to accept an invitation without behaving like a spoiled high schooler  attending someone else's keg party?

,,,do you taken into consideration...before you make a decision to attend or not? No, I thought people were raised better.  If someone is inviting someone else to a social gathering then the person doing the inviting already knows the person they are asking to attend is a good fit. Asking anything about the guest list before you decide is the move of a complete tool.

Sometimes I think same skin color exclusion, a.k.a preference, is just as big of a problem. Try putting together a small group with or without input from a buddy or two of the opposite skin color and you will hear...

- I'm not into <insert YOUR skin color here> men. -

Yup. Got it. No problem. Only you and exclude any others like you. Oh wait, you're not hosting or financing the hosting so...if you attend then will see many different and same men of color. 

That's my $2, adjusted for inflation opinion.

Funny, I was raised and educated in Philadelphia.  Group activities have been going on for years in Philadelphia with the Blue Ball Circuit event there were plenty of group events.  To be honest, I never "hosted" one, so I couldn't control who attended.  I can only go by the events I attended and my own personal experiences, I NEVER excluded anyone.