I think I’m over this site.

[BannedWord]

On 5/19/2022 at 4:49 PM, wood said:

I’m going to preface this in that I don’t intend to delete and disappear, but I am fairly sick of much of the content. 

6 hours ago, BarebackBrat said:

All the fiction here and the moderation by some tools and holier than thou attitudes turns me off. Scroll through this site and new posts are getting fewer and far between. 
I come here still because it’s one of the only options...

Look, I don't have a hound in this hunt with the moderation here, though I do agree there are certain individuals here who are utter bellends, and despite the rules that we not disparage others, they seem immune to enforcement. This isn't uncommon, people are humans and there will always be actors that tend to stir people up. 

Am I bothered by some of the content? Perhaps, but I also can use discernment to decide what is and isn't worthwhile. Some things do make for a hot fantasy, but that's all it will ever be for me. Am I bothered by certain people? As I said, yes, but fortunately I can ignore them using the site tools and not see/hear/read/be bothered by them, and frankly I don't have any fucks to give. Would I leave? Amidst the detritus on the site, there's some really great information, and I'd stick around to read it.

But I am cautious of any sour grapes approach to some site not meeting all of one's needs and taking their marbles to walk away rather than trying to create the change you want to see. Just my $0.02. 

[Guest]

On 5/19/2022 at 4:49 PM, wood said:

however it’s seems now that many people on this site post flagrantly fake or false things about what they are talking about. I have talked to moderators before about this with their agreement.  The amount of lies and fakery to what people post has become absurd.  
 

 Maybe Rawtop can hire Nina Jankowicz now that she is out of a job.

 

Edited May 20, 2022 by Muscledadbod

[Guest]

Just kidding

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 20, 2022 by Muscledadbod

[neg_sissy]

Everything's possible, nothings perfect.

[LetsPOZBreed]

I've been a member for a few years now, and definitely have noticed a change in the regularly posting members during that time.  

Not so long ago, RawTop put his proverbial foot down on the discussions around actually chasing "bugs" (STI's specifically, not HIV).  I commented on his post about this that I thought it was a great idea; a fact I continue to stay behind.  There's a huge difference between accepting the risk of catching a bug versus dealing with the certainty of contracting said bug(s).  I've had syphillis before.  It wasn't fun then, and I'm not about to put myself into a situation where I knowingly contract it again.  Same goes for any other STI's.  

There always will be the fantasizers on here egging others on to chase - I'm not one of those.  Honestly, I'm happy to provide the advice to novice barebackers about what to expect in this life.  Personally, if I help even one user to reconsider making a dangerous decision they might regret, then that one response will be worth it.  If a scared guy is having bad afterthoughts of a session that wasn't quite what he expected, I'm here to offer a sympathetic ear and respond without judgements.  

Not to say I haven't called out any posts that I feel cross a line.  But I'm perfectly capable of passing over the thinly worded responses of those who encourage high-risk behaviour.  

[hntnhole]

So, as part of reading this thread, I asked one of the moderators if I were "screening" the stuff I either don't care about, or my input might be considered inappropriate.  He answered very promptly, and I learned how to strain out the stuff I don't want to read.  It all starts in the upper left hand corner, and we can choose what kind of discourse we want to read, what we don't, and that clears up a lot. 

Thanks, Viking8by6 !!!

[hntnhole]

1 hour ago, blackrobe said:

I'd be very interested in hearing more about experiences from the top perspective.

Lots of Tops have responded to the thread about fucking sloppy, full, wet Holes.  While that's just one facet of the whole, if there's something else, just ask - I'm sure you'll get plenty of replies.  The more bottoms know about Tops, and Tops know about bottoms, the better for all of us, right?

[Guest]

I cannot understand how someone would voluntarily want to get HIV or worse. 

I also do not take illicit drugs and have never even smoked weed, so I do not like the Chem sex section where people advocate the use of illegal and highly addictive drugs such as Meth and GBH. 

It has annoyed me no end having to scroll past fhese topics.

Fortunately I have just now discovered that I can completely hide The Backroom by touching the little square box to the right of the title!

Goodbye Backroom for ever!! The contributors to this are can continue in their life damaging and life changing activities without me!

I absolutley love the rest of the site, even the obvious fantasy posts made by some,which belong in the fiction sections!

I have learned a lot from the site and will continue to do so in my male sex journey. 

I think the moderators do a good job. 

Cheers from Queensland Aussie. 

[evilqueerpig]

To the op....we're all different, with different points off view. different wants, fantasies, needs.  Granted, not everyone here is my cup of tea, but I find this a  wonderful site and there are those here who challenge me.  My advice is to view profiles and interact with men who interest you.  I'm bold so I tend to take the initiative.  If you make the most ofwhat you enjoy here, you'll no longer be over this site.

[ejaculaTe]

7 hours ago, TheSRQDude said:

...utter bellends....

Am I the only person who had to look up the definition in Urban Dictionary?

[tallslenderguy]

On 5/19/2022 at 1:49 PM, wood said:

I’m going to preface this in that I don’t intend to delete and disappear, but I am fairly sick of much of the content. 
____________________________________

 

In closing, I don’t know what the future is for this site. After being around this community for almost 10 years; it now seems really lost. We have new guys with zero clue, older meth addicts telling everyone to get charged and others maybe getting off on it? Anyway I’m done and I wish everyone on here the best. 

i'm glad you do not "... intend to delete and disappear."  If you and other people like yourself, delete and disappear, it seems to me "the future...for this site" would be more of the stuff that you are "sick of," and fewer of the thoughtful posts and threads like this one you started. 

i get it, i to work in healthcare, on the front lines. It's a constant fight and challenging effort to be caring and care, it costs. When i step back and try to get perspective, i tend to think that communities like BZ are a microcosm of the world. Albeit, a sub culture in many respects; our outside the norm attributes do not remove the things we have in common with the larger group we are a sub group of though.

When i look at the bigger picture of the world, i am impressed by how drastically things can change, and often quickly. To me there seems to be a precarious balance in most of life, cultures.

i see culture as a collection of individuals, like yourself.  i think the most (if not the only?) real power we exercise to influence culture is in what we do with our individual life. i hope that you regroup and hang in, continue to post and counterbalance the "zero clue..." voices.

[hntnhole]

Well saie, tallslenderhandsomeyoungman .....

5 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

sub culture in many respects; our outside the norm attributes do not remove the things we have in common with the larger group we are a sub group of though.

We're still human beings, we're still men, it's just that we fuck a bit differently than most other men.  Fairly small potato's, in my book.

[Close2MyBro]

22 hours ago, Muscledadbod said:

Maybe Rawtop can hire Nina Jankowicz now that she is out of a job.

The last thing this site needs is less truth and more propaganda. Prior to the 2020 election a lot of misinformation was spread on here, and true facts were condemned to be false because they didn't follow "the narrative". Now, a few years later, we have all learned and have the proof that much of it was political propaganda. There were numerous long-term members here that left for that very reason. The current political climate of evaluating, sorting, labeling and then shaming people for their political beliefs when they differ from one's own is also evident on here, and discourages participation. Many post were removed because this ideological difference was deemed "harmful" and deleted, but yet self destructive behaviors such as drugs use and bug chasing is not harmful and completely acceptable here. So thoughts are harmful and destructive actions are safe. I'm not surprised that people are leaving. I don't participate as much as I used to because I'm not here for the propaganda, and I'm not here for the self destructive behavior either. Whatever happened to having sex without it having to have a self-destructive aspect to it? Why can't people learn to have multiple sex partners and extreme sex practices that don't involve drugs? And why is everyone so offended by thoughts that they need to be policed, but encouraging others to be self-destructive is completely acceptable? I won't even get into the favoritism shown here, where some members make personal attacks at others and get away with it (I know this to be fact because I've reported numerous instances and NOTHING was done), but other members say something off color and get penalized or banned. If you're going to moderate, then moderate fairly - that includes penalizing your friends when they fall out of line.

[BootmanLA]

On 5/20/2022 at 9:13 AM, BarebackBrat said:

All the fiction here and the moderation by some tools and holier than thou attitudes turns me off. Scroll through this site and new posts are getting fewer and far between. 
I come here still because it’s one of the only options. Other than that this place is awful how it’s moderated. 

So moderators are "tools" despite the fact they're enforcing the rules that YOU agreed to when you signed up for this site (and which you continue to agree to, each time you sign on). 

One reason new posts are getting "fewer and far between" (if in fact they are) is that some people think they're entitled to post anything they want, anywhere on the site. And that's simply not the case.

And if the problem is that this is "one of the only options", might I suggest you invest your time and money into creating a site more to your liking? Deal with the legal ramifications of laws around the world governing data privacy, permissible and unpermissible postings, and liability for user conduct, and then maybe you'll grasp just how much work goes into walking the line between offering a resource like this and getting shut down by a massively expensive lawsuit.

[BootmanLA]

Let me add this: Many of you have commented that there are some members who appear to be "favorites" and who escape punishment for what you think are serious infractions while others get penalized for minor offenses.

I can't speak to how the decision to penalize / not penalize a member goes, nor how severe a penalty is levied and what factors go into that decision. What I *can* tell you with absolute certainty is that unless a member tells you he's been penalized, there's pretty much no way to know whether he has.

I know this because I've been penalized before (and in each case, I'll say the penalty was defensible even if I might have decided otherwise if it were my call and regarding another member). No one but me was notified (I assume other moderators can somehow tell), and because the penalty only meant I couldn't post or message other members for the duration, all that would appear to others is that I was temporarily not active. A 3-day suspension, even for a prolific poster, can go unnoticed because we ALL have times in our lives when we can't get online to interact with others as we might want.

So don't assume that a member "escapes punishment" for infractions. It's very possible they do not.