Why is there so little versatility in gay sex?

[Bimarried001]

10 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

@tallslenderguyand @ErosWiredi have definitely observed the strong tendency of bi married guys to be total bottoms when it comes to gay sex. This is especially true or at least much more obvious when they do 3 ways with their wife and another guy. I have hooked up with quite a few couples over the years, but on only 3 occasions did I get the husband to do anything but bottom, and in all 3 of those cases the guy was under 25.

I was never lucky enough to be in a relationship with a woman who as open to us hooking up with another guy, but I'm pretty sure I would be the exception to the rule on this as well.

I am one of those bi married men that only bottoms. There was a time that I thought I was in the minority. My thinking was that married men are use to using their cock so they would continue to do so if in a gay relationship. But I soon found out that a lot of bi married we’re just like me, bottoms. 
I cannot explain it of myself so certainly can’t for others. I just love the feeling of submissive. And I love shemales to fuck me as well. 

[Barebackpiggy]

On 6/29/2022 at 3:46 AM, KylerIsTrash said:

I consider myself a total bottom although I will find a sloppy ass to breed at the end of a night at the bathhouse.

I cum fast and I am 1-and-done when I cum. When I hit the bathhouse I plan to spend 12+ hours. If I accidentally nut at any point I pack up and go home. There is no getting me horny for several hours after I unload. 

If I could remain horny after cumming in a group of bottoms I’d probably do it more often. IDK, my identity is a BTM and I live for the nights in the sling with loads churning in me ass. 

I'm very similar to KylerIsTrash. I'd consider myself vers btm. I too love a sloppy hole to breed, but only at the end of a night in a sauna after I've been loaded multiple times. Once I've cum, I lose interest and its time to leave.

Thankfully I find there is more tops in the sauna than online. Online and apps are depressing, full of total/sub btms. Even if they say " oh I'll top you" I usually decline as experience tells me they arrive and are knees up on the bed, wanting fucked. 

When I was younger I topped alot more. I don't stay hard for as long as I age, so being bottom is easier, and I have a very fuckable, receptive hole which helps. 

There's always the pills but I like poppers when I play, so that rules them out. 

 

[hungry_hole]

1 hour ago, Barebackpiggy said:

I too love a sloppy hole to breed, but only at the end of a night in a sauna after I've been loaded multiple times.

Which supports what I say, that by bottoming a guy maximizes the fun by feeling horny for a long time.

1 hour ago, Barebackpiggy said:

When I was younger I topped alot more.

Most guys start mostly topping and slowly move to bottoming as they age.

Laud Humphreys recognized this pattern in his book The Tearoom Trade: Impersonal Sex in Public Places, where he defined the bottom role as the base role.

Many men find bottoming too invasive and stick to topping. Depending on how easy is to  get and maintain an erection and how well they can control the orgasm, a man may decide to top and enjoy it.

 

[hntnhole]

On 7/3/2022 at 2:45 PM, tallslenderguy said:

i think i am being open minded when i accept you at face value

That sounds like the very definition of "open minded" to me ...... just sayin ......

[ellentonboy]

I blame  the usage of "enhancements".  When I first came out, I went after guys who I was attracted to.   The first question out of my mouth was not "Are you a top or a bottom".  To be honest, I didn't even think of that.  It was about the guy, what I liked about him, did he like me, etc.  Today, everyone is put into a column.  Top, bottom, MAYBE vers.  I think things changed in the advent of online hook up sites and the use of drugs.   In a bar, you don't know, so you talk to the guy you are attracted to.

Online, it clearly states.  I understand on some sites you can actually screen out all the tops so you can concentrate on the available bottoms, and vice versa.  What a shame.  My personal feeling is this - if you are really attracted to a guy, you want to continue to see him, you can work the details in the bedroom.  Some people may think that is a very unrealistic attitude to have, but I know from experience I have had long lasting sexual relationships with guys who claim to be either top or bottom.  You can works these things out guys....

[NWUSHorny]

2 hours ago, ellentonboy said:

I blame  the usage of "enhancements".  When I first came out, I went after guys who I was attracted to.   The first question out of my mouth was not "Are you a top or a bottom".  To be honest, I didn't even think of that.  It was about the guy, what I liked about him, did he like me, etc.  Today, everyone is put into a column.  Top, bottom, MAYBE vers.  I think things changed in the advent of online hook up sites and the use of drugs.   In a bar, you don't know, so you talk to the guy you are attracted to.

Online, it clearly states.  I understand on some sites you can actually screen out all the tops so you can concentrate on the available bottoms, and vice versa.  What a shame.  My personal feeling is this - if you are really attracted to a guy, you want to continue to see him, you can work the details in the bedroom.  Some people may think that is a very unrealistic attitude to have, but I know from experience I have had long lasting sexual relationships with guys who claim to be either top or bottom.  You can works these things out guys....

I'm still pretty much that way, if we find each other attractive enough to hookup, one or both of us is going to get fucked. The other issue I have locally is guys who don't have anal sex, or at least don't have it with a casual hookup, a lot of them do make that clear on the hookup apps. 

[NWUSHorny]

On 7/4/2022 at 10:58 AM, hungry_hole said:

Most guys start mostly topping and slowly move to bottoming as they age.

I'm sure that was true in the late 80's when I started out, but over the last 10 years I've hooked up with lots of younger guys who have never topped and claim to have no interest in even trying.

[hntnhole]

8 hours ago, ellentonboy said:

I blame  the usage of "enhancements"

You're not the only one ..... 

[NLbear]

Tbh I try to stay away from vers guys. I have a sizeable fat cock but I'm not interested in topping. Just not my thing. Nothing more annoying than hooking up with a guy who looks at my cock and then asks if I want to fuck him. It's not what we hooked up for buddy! 

I do have a vers fuckbuddy but he only contacts me when he's in the mood to top. He knows I won't return the favor.

[partying.hard]

4 minutes ago, NLbear said:

Tbh I try to stay away from vers guys. I have a sizeable fat cock but I'm not interested in topping. Just not my thing. Nothing more annoying than hooking up with a guy who looks at my cock and then asks if I want to fuck him. It's not what we hooked up for buddy! 

I do have a vers fuckbuddy but he only contacts me when he's in the mood to top. He knows I won't return the favor.

And I’ll bet that fat Dutch dick is uncut!  😈

I understand what you were saying. It happens to me often also. Except I’m the versatile one with a big fat dick. There were numerous times where I went into a hook up thinking I was going to get fucked. But I’ve been surprised when even those who call themselves a total top take a look at my deck and immediately flip over and throw up their legs. Luckily, as I said I am versatile, so I have no problem climbing on top and pounding. But when I’m done, I hope they’re still hungry enough to return the favor. 

[hungry_hole]

17 hours ago, NWUSHorny said:

but over the last 10 years I've hooked up with lots of younger guys who have never topped and claim to have no interest in even trying.

Have you asked any of these younger guys if they are now interested in bottoming?

[NWUSHorny]

3 hours ago, hungry_hole said:

Have you asked any of these younger guys if they are now interested in bottoming?

Isn't that question irrelevant if they are begging me to fuck them, or I just finished fucking them? The context of when they tell me that they have only bottomed and have no interest in trying to top, is when I try to get them to return the favor and fuck me back.

[Guest]

I was more vers in my younger years but I am now mostly bottom for few things

1) I have ED issues and my cock is now at a point where it just doesn’t get hard so easily

2) I am short guy and it’s easier to bottom and a lot of men are turned on by my 5’6 height

3) the bigger reason why I enjoy bottom is that I get joy by providing men an outlet to release their frustration and/or pent up sexual energy.  I like the fact that my pussy can be something to make men feel better. When I get texts from tops if I am available, it excites me that they see me as a vessel to feel good. I also enjoy just receiving a man’s cum. That feeling of him just releasing that fluid in me gives me a feeling of affirmation and knowing I was there to give him what he needed, it’s just an awesome feeling 

[hungry_hole]

41 minutes ago, NudistBBBLK said:

I also enjoy just receiving a man’s cum. That feeling of him just releasing that fluid in me gives me a feeling of affirmation and knowing I was there to give him what he needed, it’s just an awesome feeling 

Because everyone is so used to looking at sex from a sexual orientation point of view, we forget that more exciting that being turned on by a man's body is to feel wanted by being able to turn-on other men, the evidence being the erection.  When I'm getting fucked I know that the guy's interaction with me caused him to get hard enough to be able to penetrate my hole, and I feel a high. In other words, I feel wanted.

Having a guy breed my hole at the sauna is very exciting for me because I feel such excitement as to feel that I've had an orgasm myself. Part of the excitement also comes from from feeling that I extracted a guy's power because usually the guy after dropping his load leaves the room exhausted, usually ready for a shower. Feeling his load inside feels amazing.

 

[LetsPOZBreed]

For me, my preference has shifted more toward bottoming as I've gotten older. 

But I will top a guy if I get the urge to do so.  For me, my frequency of wanting to top has less to do with getting an erection...it's more about feeling desired.  I want to feel wanted as a top...by that meaning that I enjoy bottoms who treat me as more than a means to an end.  Kiss me, suck me, play with my body, etc...make my cock ache to be inside you.  If you're just on the bed ass-up in a jock,..that's ok (if you've got a hot ass), but it doesn't really stir me anymore.  I like the build-up just as much as the act itself...lacking that, I have no desire to waste my load on a guy who doesn't appreciate the guy it coming from.