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Losing Interest In Being A Cumdump...


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I've noticed lately, I've just been less and less inclined toward being an anonymous cumdump at bookstores/parks/etc. Maybe some of it is due to the sudden influx of monkeypox, but even before then.. after 2 years of everything being basically shut down, I just don't really care to have randos pumping their hot seed into my willing hole. Which isn't to say I've lost interest in sex, I just.. only want to have it with the handful of people I feel close to. Maybe I've just moved along the spectrum from cumslut to demisexual? I dunno. It's weird. I still get the urge to hit up a cruising spot, but after a few minutes, I just decide "Meh, I'll just rub one out." 

I dunno what to make of it. Is it "maturing"? Is it just the natural, changing flow of life? Maybe it's a pendulum and will swing back into "Yes, random strangers, please breed me one after another all day long" eventually.

I'm not even sure I'm asking for advice, I just felt the need to kinda put it out there (like I used to put my ass out there! *rimshot*)

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same. the idea of randos cumming in me is a turnoff for some reason now. i'm like 99.99% top now tho.

I think priorities changed in my life though. My parents are aging and I want to spend my time with them onward, as well as I do everything safely now in case something were to happen to me. I used to take anonymous loads in public, to now almost a prude who who takes his prep daily. It's a weird change but I feel I have much more to lose now.

Edited by idontpartyanymore
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4 hours ago, PendragonSpirit said:

I've noticed lately, I've just been less and less inclined toward being an anonymous cumdump at bookstores/parks/etc. Maybe some of it is due to the sudden influx of monkeypox, but even before then.. after 2 years of everything being basically shut down, I just don't really care to have randos pumping their hot seed into my willing hole. Which isn't to say I've lost interest in sex, I just.. only want to have it with the handful of people I feel close to. Maybe I've just moved along the spectrum from cumslut to demisexual? I dunno. It's weird. I still get the urge to hit up a cruising spot, but after a few minutes, I just decide "Meh, I'll just rub one out." 

I dunno what to make of it. Is it "maturing"? Is it just the natural, changing flow of life? Maybe it's a pendulum and will swing back into "Yes, random strangers, please breed me one after another all day long" eventually.

I'm not even sure I'm asking for advice, I just felt the need to kinda put it out there (like I used to put my ass out there! *rimshot*)

I'd say it's possibly both "maturing" and "natural changing flow of life". The most important thing to realize is: there is nothing wrong with this change. (Just as there would be nothing wrong with a guy who for years had only sought "sex with connections" suddenly becoming interested in being a cumdump for randos.

We change. As long as we're responsible, and don't deliberately hurt others, I don't see any issue.

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7 hours ago, PendragonSpirit said:

I've noticed lately, I've just been less and less inclined toward being an anonymous cumdump at bookstores/parks/etc. Maybe some of it is due to the sudden influx of monkeypox, but even before then.. after 2 years of everything being basically shut down, I just don't really care to have randos pumping their hot seed into my willing hole. Which isn't to say I've lost interest in sex, I just.. only want to have it with the handful of people I feel close to. Maybe I've just moved along the spectrum from cumslut to demisexual? I dunno. It's weird. I still get the urge to hit up a cruising spot, but after a few minutes, I just decide "Meh, I'll just rub one out." 

I dunno what to make of it. Is it "maturing"? Is it just the natural, changing flow of life? Maybe it's a pendulum and will swing back into "Yes, random strangers, please breed me one after another all day long" eventually.

I'm not even sure I'm asking for advice, I just felt the need to kinda put it out there (like I used to put my ass out there! *rimshot*)

I like this post, I can relate, you kinda put me in a nutshell.

Tbh, I feel like I have changed since lock down, saunas clubs closed, not been abroad GC etc.

I am kinda falling into the same Top fucking me. Ive known this guy years, its easy, I likd him too. I dont know, if an opportunity came up for stranger sex, Id prob take it, but not actively looking or making an effort to find it. Maybe I need to make more effort, but not sure I want to.

I call it sexual depression...

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I've never been so much into anonymous sexual encounters, but I feel the same. I would not say it's "depression" but I think at a certain point you become more "selective". Life has many phases and we must take it as it is! Personally I feel it with food, and it may be the same with sex. Nothing obliges all of us to maintain same habits all life long. 

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I had a really good chat with a Poz cum dump on Grindr recently, after chatting for a while I asked him did he love being a cumdump, he said “at the end of the day walking home from the bathhouse with a ass full of cum is pretty lonely and depressing, good at the time but that’s all it is, a ass load of anonymous jizz. Each to there own I suppose! 

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I think it's a natural process when you're maturing. It's the same for me. I'm more after quality fucks than quantity these days. And more with guys I know rather than random fucks. The number of fuckbuddies was reduced dramatically during the pandemic, even though I was vaxxed to the max. It has picked somewhat but nowhere near the pre-pandemic numbers. While I was putting my ass up practically every night for about anyone who was interested when I was a lot younger I'm more selective now. 

So a lot less sex but enough to keep my hole happy. And longer sessions instead of quick pump and dumps. Suits me.

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I have not, of course, been able to provide service during these pandemic years at anything like the level I had been, and the change has underscored to me a reality that I know is inevitable - the time when I’m really too old to do it in any practical way. Even if I wanted to, there will come a time when this body will no longer be suited to the task, and I gradually get the sense that I don’t have all that much time left. (Mind you, I’ve been feeling like I’ve been making up for lost time ever since I started mansex at 37.)

The thing is, I was trained for this, pretty intensively - intentionally shaped to be a man who understands that his sexual purpose is to provide his body for any man to fuck. So if and when the day comes when I no longer feel that I can fulfill that purpose, I don’t know what will be left in its place but purposelessness. I don’t know that a man in my particular role “matures” out of it, because I can’t imagine what shape it takes afterward.

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16 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

So if and when the day comes when I no longer feel that I can fulfill that purpose, I don’t know what will be left in its place but purposelessness. I don’t know that a man in my particular role “matures” out of it, because I can’t imagine what shape it takes afterward.

A couple of thoughts:

First, I hope (and assume) you realize that just because you may reach a point of feeling "sexual purposelessness" you won't be purposeless overall, as a person. I don't know you at all but I feel pretty confident in saying you have other purposes in your life - if nothing else, being father to your children and (perhaps) grandfather to your grandchildren. And that's aside from any purposes in life like your profession, your other contributions to community, and so forth.

And second, just because you may become, at some point, not the kind of man lots of men want to fuck, that doesn't mean *some* men won't want to, and as long as you continue to do that, you're fulfilling the purpose as you stated. There's a difference between "provide his body for any man to fuck" and "provide his body for lots of men to fuck". As long as you do so for the "any" who want it - your purpose is met.

Now, if in your head, you're hearing the latter of those two constructions - then yes, there could be a problem. But if so, it's a universal problem faced by everyone who reaches some unspecified age - tops and bottoms alike. At some point we just stop being appealing to the vast majority of people out there. That's the natural order of things.

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36 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

At some point we just stop being appealing to the vast majority of people out there. 

And I was just starting to think that balding paunchy guys in their late-50's somehow became "the new black". 🤣😂

You're right though. Life evolves, as do our relationships or the types of relationships we cultivate. Rather than fucking a bunch of randos, do we just want the deeper connection of a more select few who actually get to know our inner-most selves and can reach that place deep down that switches on something else that piques us?

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I don't think you're broken. Sometimes we just need a breather or time out. I was like that early on when Covid hit. I hit the pause button. Monkeypox is pretty scary too as it passes through skin to skin contact during sex. It was enough to worry about HIV and then Covid...now this too? But oddly guys aren't asking me about Monkeypox at all. I'm more likely to asked about my HIV status than Monkeypox or Covid, but I don't think there's a lot of Monkeypox here in Dallas right now. I go through phases too where I need or want to chill out and not have so much sex. RIght now its the opposite. I can't get enough and I'm hooking up way more than usual. It ebbs and flows.

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On 8/5/2022 at 4:09 PM, PendragonSpirit said:

I've noticed lately, I've just been less and less inclined toward being an anonymous cumdump at bookstores/parks/etc. Maybe some of it is due to the sudden influx of monkeypox, but even before then.. after 2 years of everything being basically shut down, I just don't really care to have randos pumping their hot seed into my willing hole. Which isn't to say I've lost interest in sex, I just.. only want to have it with the handful of people I feel close to. Maybe I've just moved along the spectrum from cumslut to demisexual? I dunno. It's weird. I still get the urge to hit up a cruising spot, but after a few minutes, I just decide "Meh, I'll just rub one out." 

I dunno what to make of it. Is it "maturing"? Is it just the natural, changing flow of life? Maybe it's a pendulum and will swing back into "Yes, random strangers, please breed me one after another all day long" eventually.

I'm not even sure I'm asking for advice, I just felt the need to kinda put it out there (like I used to put my ass out there! *rimshot*)

You and I are cut from the same cloth, my friend.  This is exactly where I feel post-COVID as well.  I just don't get anything out of anon play anymore.

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