I got bullied at work

[Sharp-edge]

I'm working in a university as a researcher. That means I'm by no means permanent, I have a contract that expires every year and is renewed. I'm semi-closeted if this term exists. This means I won't say hey dudes I'm gay! but if you ask me maybe I will say I'm gay and I have a bf. However I have not said any of these at my work until very recently. Something inside me said "enough" so in an event I brought my bf and introduced him. Thankfully all my colleagues were very excited and were happy to meet him. All but one, the professor. She said that I'm embarassing the laboratory (but really there is nothing embarassing, even if being str8 looking matters, we are both like that).

She called us [banned word] behind our backs and another word (that if I were to translate it precisely it would be the one who survived an abortion). I didn't know but she has a thing against gay people. I just feel unwanted since then and my job at jeopardy. I'm not sure if I care about that, I don't want to work for people that I don't appreciate but I won't just observe her fire me for being gay.

I told her that I know all that and I feel deeply offended and that after 7 years of collab I hoped better than that. She told me it's not personal and she just consider us to be sick (irony: she's a biology professor) and she mostly pities than hates us. I told her that she should pity her students who have her as a professor and that she spreads discrimination in an academic environment. She told me we better stop our collab and not to renew my contract. I just feel angry and sad. I wanna do something about it

[BootmanLA]

This is a matter for the head of your department - the chair, the dean, or whomever - and you need to write down, right now, everything you can remember she said and all the circumstances (where you were, the date and time, any witnesses to any of her comments, etc.).

I can't speak to whether you have a legal case or not - the laws vary from country to country, and may differ between private and public institutions. But documenting your situation NOW - so that you can show you have contemporaneous notes, not something you "remembered" weeks or months later - is always preferable.

Find out if your institution has a department that oversees civil rights, and contact them. Make sure you have copies of any previous evaluations this professor gave you for past years - if your prior work all met with approval or even praise, and then suddenly she recommends dropping you after this, it's not going to look good for her.

Again, that's not to say you have a legal case - that's something an attorney in your country would have to evaluate, if something untoward happens like getting terminated  - but this is all stuff you should be doing just in case.

[PozBearWI]

@Sharp-edge man I am saddened that behavior has returned.  Not surprising as it appears this is part of "becoming great again" and certainly already telegraphed by SCOTUS.  

@BootmanLA as usual, some great advice.  It's been decades since I've been in that position but absolutely what needs to be done IF there is to be a remedy.  

[BootmanLA]

1 minute ago, JimInWisc said:

@Sharp-edge man I am saddened that behavior has returned.  Not surprising as it appears this is part of "becoming great again" and certainly already telegraphed by SCOTUS.  

@BootmanLA as usual, some great advice.  It's been decades since I've been in that position but absolutely what needs to be done IF there is to be a remedy.  

Thank you, Jim. However, I think the OP is from Greece, if I'm not mistaken - but almost certainly somewhere overseas. As such, as much as I'd like to blame the Mango Mussolini for  this, I suspect it's not his fault. 

[PozBearWI]

1 minute ago, BootmanLA said:

Thank you, Jim. However, I think the OP is from Greece, if I'm not mistaken - but almost certainly somewhere overseas. As such, as much as I'd like to blame the Mango Mussolini for  this, I suspect it's not his fault. 

I did not catch that, but similar movements are afoot around the globe

[BootmanLA]

2 hours ago, JimInWisc said:

I did not catch that, but similar movements are afoot around the globe

It's not that you missed it - it wasn't in the OP's posting, but he's posted about his location before, on other threads, and thus I remembered he was "over there" somewhere. 

[Jimmi]

It would be helpful for us to know what country you’re in.  I believe discrimination on the basis of sexual preference is illegal in Greece, but my expertise in anti discrimination law is related to Australian law.  Get on to talking to an expert now.  In Australia there is a time limit to lodging a claim.  Assuming you’re Greek maybe a good place to start is [think before following links] https://www.faros2020.eu (think before following links).  I don’t know anything about this organisation but they might be able to steer you in the right direction to get some support. 

[ErosWired]

This document is a 2021 report on the state of discrimination law in Greece:

[think before following links] https://www.equalitylaw.eu/downloads/5488-greece-country-report-non-discrimination-2021-1-37-mb

It appears to indicate that the OP is protected by Greek law from discrimination in employment and education on the basis of his sexual orientation. Though the law does make exception for persons’ legitimately held religious or or other beliefs, those beliefs must be integral to the working of the occupation - in other words, a priest may be supported if his beliefs cause him to discriminate in the operation of his church, but a professor cannot claim that orientation bias is integral to the running of a biology lab or classroom.

I might add that her opinion that the OP is ‘sick’ is immaterial - The American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association both take the position that homosexuality is a normal human variant, and the World Health Organization removed it from their diagnostic manual of mental disorders, the ICD-10, in 1990. The woman is a bigot, full of shit. The most damning thing I can say of her is that if she can hold these attitudes in 2022 then she is no scientist.

To the OP: The authority in Greece that deals with cases of discrimination is the Greek Ombudsman. I would suggest that you make inquiry with that office. Also, I feel quite certain that any university of any size in this day and age will have an equal opportunity office or other student advocacy center. I would suggest looking into it, but first follow @BootmanLA’s very important advice and scrupulously document everything, with dates and times if possible, and as much detail as you can remember. If you contact a university office for assistance, also carefully document those transactions; they may be helpful and mediate the situation, but it is not unheard-of for institutions to sweep controversies under a rug and stifle complaints to save face and limit legal liability.

At worst, it couldn’t hurt to have a consultation with a solicitor to determine how much of a case you have in your country.

You might also consider reaching out to the ILGA-Europe (International Lesbian Gay Assiciation)’s advocacy office and ask if they can direct you to any groups or resources that might help you. Their organization only does strategic litigation at the national and international level, like challenging countries’ laws, but they are likely to be a storehouse of information and contacts. Here’s the link:

[think before following links] https://www.ilga-europe.org/topics/legal-protection/

Good luck with it. You don’t have to accept her judgment. According to recent studies of opinion about same-sex relations in Greek society, she’s now distinctly in the minority.

 

[tj87]

This is miserable.

If you are Greek, the law is on your side and it's the employer who has a duty to protect you from harassment and discrimination. So you need to speak up now. 

You don't have to make a big stink, just quietly set wheels in motion. Speak to someone in whatever the equivalent of HR is over there - and to whomever you report to - and explain the situation. They have a duty to act, and hopefully will step in. 

If they don't, or they drag your feet hoping you'll go away once your contract is up for renewal it becomes a much uglier situation for them.

Consult with colleagues you're friendly with for support. Witnesses are valuable.
Take notes of what was said and when, and have a think about what you want the university to do.

Maybe even consult with an employment lawyer. This will be an uphill battle probably, but stick with it. xxx

[Sharp-edge]

I really thank you for all your comments, your support means a lot. My ginger feels sad, like he's to blame (but of course he's not). He thinks I shouldn't have introduced me and I shouldn't be pushing things further than that. But I don't blame him, it's the society that makes him (and many of us) feel that way (that you're not very normal and as such offensive behaviours are tolerated). But seasons change and we stayed far too long in the darkness. I have no issue of accepting my sexuality. I'm a left hander, the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I live in a world made for right handers and I try to survive all these right-oriented objects that affect my life. Everyone is just saying that it's strange that I use my left hand. But I was always thinking they're stupid, we have two hands that are mirror images of each other, I use the left. Is this so serious? So that made me think later that I'm also different in sexual preferences. People can't get that i'm lefty, maybe asking them to comprehend my orientation is too much.

Why am I saying this? Because what I believe (that gays are just gays, not sick people or anything) and for all the people who get bullied someone needs to make a start. So yeah, I'm gonna push things further, until I set things right. She can believe whatever she works but her actions are subject to law and my rights are legally protected. I started making some contacts and I believe a kind of report will be filled tomorrow or the day after that. I've also been advised to have a lawyer. I will keep u posted guys

[BadBob]

I agree with everything the other guys have said. When I came out at work (police officer in the UK) I was petrified what colleagues and supervising officers would say. It sounds awful but, I bought a tiny digital dictaphone to reccord anything that was overtly abusive as I was convinced I was going receive detrimental comments. Thankfully,  in my case, no one showed anything but kindness and support and I'm still friends with many ex colleagues even though I retired 10 years ago. I feel deeply sympathetic to the OP. I really hope this is resolved favourably.

[Pigforcum]

Fuck bullies. No need for them to air their stupid views

[Guest]

This is so unfortunate. As everyone said, document document document in as much detail as possible with times, dates and locations. It's even better if you have a supportive witness that can corroborate what you are documenting. Another thing to consider is an Ethics board. When I worked for a university (in the USA), ALL employees and students had to agree to a policy of ethical behavior which she clearly broke. At the time, my university provided an anonymous online complaint for and an anonymous phone number to report issues. You might want to look into that along with any kind of Human Resources complaint form.

[Diesel]

Just wanted to say I’m appalled that this sort of situation can occur in a seat of learning, in a supposedly civilised country.

I cannot add any further suggestions to those already given by your supporters above. But know that you and your partner have my fullest sympathy and moral support.

I hope that that you are able to receive some kind of restitution & that the guilty party is subject to some disciplinary action, or at least a severe reprimand.

[hntnhole]

5 hours ago, Sharp-edge said:

(that gays are just gays, not sick people or anything)

You're 100% correct, of course.  I don't know all that much about the cultural situation in your country (but I loved visiting there).  Surely there is some governmental entity that can be engaged with a complaint against this hate-mongering woman.  Do it all by the book, you clearly did nothing wrong, and she clearly did.  Contact the gay service agencies there, to publicize the nasty behavior.  Letter writing campaigns against her can work too. Get her ratty ass disciplined !!!

Good luck, and let us know how things turn out.