Dealing with stalking on Grindr

[BritishCumdump]

Okay so stalking might be a strong word for it but lately I'm being bothered by two different guys on Grindr and I just can't get rid of them. Is there a feature on Grindr that stops you getting messaged by profiles that are newer than 2 weeks old or such? 

Basically I got catfished by this guy, I was expecting tall dark and handsome to appear at my door and instead I got Quark from Deep Space Nine, so naturally I told him to go away as, well, no but since then he's created all these profiles to be threatening or to try and get into me. The other guy is a married with kids guy who lives like 10 doors down and just won't leave me alone, I've blocked him on every social media platform he's found me on and yet with both of them they keep making new Grindr profiles that are blank with distance hidden and I have to waste time having a conversation each fucking day until I work out it's one of them. I report them to Grindr but they just delete their profile and create a new one each time. It's making it really difficult to meet guys as when people are like "oh I want to stay anon" I have to be "well sorry then we can't meet because you might be one of these pricks". 

[BootmanLA]

AFAIK there's no way to block, say, profiles newer than 2 weeks (or any other arbitrary creation date), but even if you could, there's nothing stopping them from creating a bunch of new profiles, one every few days, and then as they get past your "minimum" level, contacting you.

You've hit on one of the problems with truly anonymous hookups: you don't know who the guy on the other end could be, and it could well be a catfisher, someone you've rejected before, or whatever. If you want truly anonymous sex, that's a risk you'll have to accept.

If that's not as important, then I would shut down guy #2 with a very direct threat that if he contacts you again, you're going to come over to his house and inform his wife and kids what he's up to.

For guy #1 (and possibly for guy #2), you might look into whatever the British equivalent of a restraining order is, and whether you can get one against either guy. If you can, for maximum effect, have it served on them at work (or in the evening at home, in the case of the married guy).

[120DaysofSodom]

I know it can easily be circumvented but the block feature?

Ive dealt with people on grindr that have been totally and unnecessarily rude, going out of their way to make fun of me for my poz status, and then I have had people that have been totally off the charts unstable and insanely psychotic, threatening to find me and murder me. To the latter, I simply dont feed into it and I dont block them or anything, I just ignore them, and eventually they piss off.

[rawsatyr]

Grindr BANNED me about the same time one of my fun kinky friends got canned, like last week. Never had a warning, a confrontation, a problem other than getting pictures kicked back for too much nudity. But that's another subject!

BUT another handy app ADAM4ADAM seems to be notorious for fake, fraudulent and outright predatory profiles. And angry losers with not a pot to piss in with a chip on their shoulder and no sense of MODERATION and 'being real'!  NOTORIOUS! Having issues with some of them but a block worked.

But others, the warning signs and red flags need to be shared... to warn NOVICES to our sleazy world! There are obvious profiles with CA$H and freebie ride expectations, 'MASSAGES to be repaid by PAYPAL'  lol,  and psychos with nothing to offer! Then the sketchy 4000miles away, claiming to be in some sort of service at a place that would be 7,000 miles away, 'SERVING OUR COUNTRY' (targeted lonely suckers will reveal themselves quickly to the con) Lots of suspicious profiles with awkwardly phrased 'looking for love and happy ever after', annoying blank FACELESS profiles sending smiley faces or cliche lines PRETENDING TO HAVE BALLS that they don't have from the darkness of anonymity, I would estimate about HALF of all profiles on A4A are trash-worthy! With many awesome hot leads in between. 

THIS WEEK was a game-changer: An 'entity' from Mississippi well known for excessive drug use and loudmouth bragging has made it an obsession to stalk me for about a year now. It started a year ago when I was at a sex party, where at a certain stage the ten of us REACHED OUT to bring in a few. Two promptly turned up! One even nailed me for others to watch! AWESOME! 

But the later NEMISIS was about 30 miles away! His very tempting profile and overtures became manipulative and rude, dogging the hosts of the party (they all seemed to know him and each other in 100 mile range)  They said OH HIM, YEAH HE IS A BRAT - BUT NUTS!  Need proof? The nemesis blocked when I refused to leave my party.  Weeks later he reemerged, trying charm. We exchanged numbers and talked as I was agreeing to finally meet. But on the long drive, on a later call he grew verbally charged, what sounded like frothing at the mouth, totally delusional and I DARED TO DECLINE, AGAIN!  Got off the freeway thinking: "ABORT MISSION, ABORT ABORT!" Checked my voice-mails later and he was OFF HIS ROCKER!!

The nemesis kept popping up, screen-names of predictable similar format. HATE, VENOM AND PSYCH ISSUES!! I  reported the one-sided, rambling, lecturing and falsehood-spewing abuse. Of course NO RESPONSE or action from A4A. Total proof available, abuse,  that would go on FOR PAGES,,, I tried IGNORING his  random messages But the loon tunes would probably return soon...

Walking on eggs-shells with a boner while ON A SEX APP MISSION is no fun! Caught myself losing any interest to even take a chance on ANY remotely sketchy, secretive, TOO NEW, TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE etc. Then I get blackmailed THIS WEEK, started by text message from Atlanta numbers, in response to a probable fake originally claiming to be a young Latino with hearing loss... my 'good deed' to entertain with banter then evolves into the classic spin... a pattern of identity switch...  claiming  'PARENTAL' anger, Dad,  grandpa, MOM trying different approaches, trying various forms of intimidation and rapid fire messages from another state with police pictures etc would result in 'offers of appeasement' ... PAYING OFF HIS CELL PHONE CONTRACT while 'the kid is in juvenile' RIGHT! (pays to be connected to assorted contacts in law enforcement to get a giggle over internet lemons)

But BOTTOM LINE: TOO MUCH DRAMA if you take too many chances... NO MORE MISTER NICE GUY!

I had left the two offensive stalker profiles open for a week allowing the message frequency to decrease... and with a plan. I changed profile to a faceless one, well half a face and whatever body snazzy but dressed... good enough that even I would say: "Sure I'd fuck that!" I also changed my long-standing screen-name, all the easily recognizable prose full of kink, fun and puns and kept it short and cryptic. Short to the poinT if you like... fly under the radar. I hardly make a move. Leave the bait out and multi-tasking. Ok... a regular party fucker is HITTING NOW! In real time... better finish this and make sure the SECOND door had no 'trash' behind... damn maybe he'' take pics of his cock in my hole...

 

Anyway, HAPPY HUNTING SEASON and remember, unlike DEER, it's COCK-HUNTING SEASON year-round, no license, no permit, no 'bag-limits', few restrictions apply. I love OPEN CARRY in barely buttoned ratty denims COMMANDO-style!  And remember: when you hunt for whores among squealing boars and sad-looking bores in a local pig-pen, piss-marked by egotistical yahoos and extras from the movie DELIVERANCE! Shit's gonna fly!

[Close2MyBro]

Stop using grindr for a month or so. Maybe when they can't find you anymore they'll give up.

[Bottom Jim]

I had  married guy from Grindr stalk me his profile said 6’1 190 8 “ dick when he showed up  He was closed to 390

told him to go away kept messaging me I told him one more and I would be at his house with flowers for him He stoped

[ErosWired]

If they can start a new Grindr account to appear to be a different person… so can you. You can even do it with your present account. Change your display name (you can do that at any time), rewrite your profile text, and change out your pics to ones that aren’t identifiable with the current ones. In other words, go under cover. If they can’t find you, they can’t harass you.

And I don’t know about the other guy, but if Quark keeps coming back, you could always try buying him off with a few bars of latinum.

[spoonboy44]

On 10/29/2022 at 9:47 AM, 120DaysofSodom said:

To the latter, I simply dont feed into it and I dont block them or anything, I just ignore them, and eventually they piss off.

and just to add to this,, let them have the last word if they want it. It's very tempting and hard not to say anything back,

but as the immortal Elsa says "Let It Go"

[Guest]

Just block them and report them to grindr. If they approach you in public go to the police. This is why I do not go on apps like scruff, grindr, etc.

[ellentonboy]

I am not sure "blocking" and "letting it go" always works.  My personal experience with a situation like this required me to file two police reports.  If you are approached in public, and they refuse to leave you alone, then you have no other alternative than  to file a complaint with law enforcement.

I had an idiot show up at my house, on more than one occasion.  The local police were reluctant to do much.  "Don't answer the door', "block his number". etc.  Well, that doesn't always work.  

I had to drive across my state, file a restraining order in his county of residence, and then pay the sheriff's office to serve him the restraining order.  It should NOT have to be that way, but in my case, it was the only thing that worked. 

Hopefully for those experiencing this kind of situation won't have to go through the aggravation I did.

[Close2MyBro]

On 11/1/2022 at 7:47 PM, TotalTop said:

Just block them and report them to grindr. If they approach you in public go to the police. This is why I do not go on apps like scruff, grindr, etc.

Reporting them to grindr is useless. The gridr staff does nothing. I've reported numerous people for flagrant violations of grindr's policies and they're still on the site hours, days, and weeks later.

[ellentonboy]

12 hours ago, Close2MyBro said:

Reporting them to grindr is useless. The gridr staff does nothing. I've reported numerous people for flagrant violations of grindr's policies and they're still on the site hours, days, and weeks later.

That's a very valid and true point.  Grindr is quick to suspend you if your pictures are too revealing, or they feel it crosses some "indecency" line.  The staff is quick to call you out and punish you.  But if some WHACK JOB  continues to create fake account to try to hook up with you, and you know it's the same guy and forward the screen shots to management, Grindr does nothing.  It's a double standard at that place....

[BootmanLA]

FWIW, I would also draw a distinction between online stalking and real-world events, though recognizing that things can cross over from A to B.

For online stalkers: Just keep blocking, don't engage, unless they threaten to do something in the real world (like come over, contact your boss, whatever). Eventually, they'll wear themselves out sending messages that end up in the bit bucket and if you block them every time, they'll never know if they got through. (It does mean that responding to unknown senders, especially ones without pictures, isn't possible any more. That's a price I, for one, am willing to pay.)

For real-world stalkers, treat them as trespassers. If they show up at your house, warn them through the door that you consider them trespassing and a threat and you're going to defend yourself. Then mace the fuck out of them if they don't immediately leave, call the cops, tell them you had someone try to force his way into your house when you opened the door, and you defended yourself.

[Guest]

On 10/28/2022 at 10:06 AM, BritishCumdump said:

Okay so stalking might be a strong word for it but lately I'm being bothered by two different guys on Grindr and I just can't get rid of them. Is there a feature on Grindr that stops you getting messaged by profiles that are newer than 2 weeks old or such? 

Basically I got catfished by this guy, I was expecting tall dark and handsome to appear at my door and instead I got Quark from Deep Space Nine, so naturally I told him to go away as, well, no but since then he's created all these profiles to be threatening or to try and get into me. The other guy is a married with kids guy who lives like 10 doors down and just won't leave me alone, I've blocked him on every social media platform he's found me on and yet with both of them they keep making new Grindr profiles that are blank with distance hidden and I have to waste time having a conversation each fucking day until I work out it's one of them. I report them to Grindr but they just delete their profile and create a new one each time. It's making it really difficult to meet guys as when people are like "oh I want to stay anon" I have to be "well sorry then we can't meet because you might be one of these pricks". 

Tell them to back the fuck off or you'll report them to the police. If they still don't, get the rozzers involved. Stalking, harassment etc are illegal in the UK and taken extremely seriously. The courts can issue an injunction in no time at all and the police can actually issue temporary injunctions even before it gets to court.

[austin_submale]

I quit using Grindr because of all the people trying to scam there.  The dead giveaway is they always want to text rather than use some more anonymous method "give me your number, I'm going to delete this app".  Sure...  NO.  WTF.  The one time I made the mistake of giving a number the asshole somehow found a way of tracing it and was threatening to out me unless I sent him bitcoin.

I've had a few similar attempts on a4a, but not nearly as much.  Mostly it is from people with non-local profiles.  I just basically tell them I'm only looking for local hookups and I never give my number out or text.  Usually they are very rude then and say I'm not for real or I never wanted them...  yeah, the latter is true.  Scammers can FOAD.