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How Do We form Our Taste Sexually?


BBBxCumDumpster

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How are our taste formed?

I was shocked years ago when I saw a study that said after having three males, a wo

man has a 90% chance of having a gay son if she has more sons.  The exception is if the son is left-handed.  I am the gay fourth son and my younger brother is straight and left-handed.  The point I'm making is I think orientation can be a done deal before birth.  But I wonder what forms our taste sexually.  My taste run the gamut.  I've been with guys from 40 different countries.  My taste have gotten decidedly kinkier and complex. Are our taste nature, nurture or just complimentary pheromones at work? Are tastes decided before we're born as well?

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I'm no scientist, but the story I've consistently heard is that the mother passes the "gay gene" to her offspring, be it boy or girl.  I've never heard that the father has anything at all to do with the sexuality of the offspring.  If that's true, then if we have male cousins, there's most likely a few in the extended family.  In my case, yuk.  

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3 hours ago, BBBxCumDumpster said:

How are our taste formed?

I was shocked years ago when I saw a study that said after having three males, a wo

man has a 90% chance of having a gay son if she has more sons.  The exception is if the son is left-handed.  I am the gay fourth son and my younger brother is straight and left-handed.  The point I'm making is I think orientation can be a done deal before birth.  But I wonder what forms our taste sexually.  My taste run the gamut.  I've been with guys from 40 different countries.  My taste have gotten decidedly kinkier and complex. Are our taste nature, nurture or just complimentary pheromones at work? Are tastes decided before we're born as well?

I’m an only child - so that theory doesn’t work. 

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This is not to suggest that the data pointing to a gestational determination of sexual orientation are wrong - far from it. 

However, I would caution anyone against drawing the conclusion "I was born gay" based on "I have always known it" or "As long as I can remember". I daresay none of us remembers the first year of our lives at all, and for most people, the earliest memory that "sticks" is somewhere between two and three, sometimes later. So a post-birth environmental cause is not incongruent with "as long as I can remember". Moreover, the plural of anecdote, as I've pointed out many times here, is not "data".

That said, there does seem to be good data suggesting that many aspects of one's sexual development occur in utero and are not strictly genetic in nature. Under ideal circumstances, of course, any human with the XX chromosomal pair should develop as a female, and any human with the XY chromosomal pair should develop as a male. But aside from chromosomal discrepancies - individuals with something other than an XX or XY chromosomes for the 23rd pair - there are also issues where hormonal changes in the mother while carrying the fetus can cause changes to its development. Flipping a few genes somewhere - probably, but not guaranteed, on the Y chromosome - may be one of the things that causes homosexuality. If that is in fact the case, then "born this way" would seem to apply.

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@BootmanLA that certainly resonates with me.  

Another perspective on the "me, always gay" theme.  When I step through my years from "fourish" on I know I was learning what stuff was.  How I could have been in a position to know then, with certainly, how I would unfold as a human in various dimensions of my life I find foolish to entertain.  At the time I was still discovering.  I was, as my grandpa used to say; a "snot nosed kid".  I didn't take it personally.  Eventually I came to understand what he meant.  But that didn't come completely from schooling.  

While I look back and can now see where young faggot Jim began to show himself; it is because of have the advantage of looking back.  

It might be that too many of us views sexually more like an "A - B" switch vs a rheostat.  I don't think our sexually is that flat and uninspired.  From todays vantage point, I interact with a rather large number of men sexually; the majority having come from a straight life until middle age.  Some of them were on a similar path as me; but each was unique and reflective of who he is.  

Genetic predisposition?  Perhaps.  Environmental for me argues for multiple gay siblings.  

 

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5 hours ago, JimInWisc said:

Genetic predisposition?  Perhaps.  Environmental for me argues for multiple gay siblings.  

Of course, it may not be an "either-or" situation. Perhaps there's a set of genes in our chromosomes, somewhere, that if activated (or deactivated, if active is the default) "flip" one's sexual orientation. And even then, it might be there's a spectrum of flipping; if there are, say, 10 genes that govern sexual orientation, one flipping might result in some vague bi-curiosity, while 8 or 9 or 10 flipping might result in an overtly gay person.

It's also possible that, for instance, the default is a gene (or set of genes) that makes one attracted to men. Female fetuses, developing normally don't have any change to those genes, but most male fetuses undergo something that turns them all off. (We know that male genitalia develop in response to a gene in the Y chromosome, and it's possible that the orientation gene also normally responds to something like that.) So the answer could be that something (maternal hormones?) in utero either blocks that gene in male fetuses (creating a gay boy) or activates the gene in a female fetus, which producers a lesbian girl.

But in any event: that's an environmental cause - the release of a hormone that alters development - which nonetheless wouldn't necessarily affect every fetus a woman carries. One of the studies previously cited found that if a woman carried three male fetuses, the odds were far higher that a fourth male would turn out gay. One scientist hypothesizes that the mother's body keeps a tally of what it's produced, in some form, and producing a male offspring who's unlikely to father his own children (who'd need to be cared for) might help the familial unit because he'd be able to contribute to the raising of his siblings' children. We aren't so removed from a time when that would have provided a distinct evolutionary advantage, and it may have persisted simply because there's no corresponding evolutionary pressure to change that. 

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I think it's hard to tease out a specific "causation" of sexual desires and tastes; your own example is interesting (that your left-handed younger brother, the 5th child is straight while you're gay). It's very difficult to know if that's causation or correlation.  Is there something else at play? I don't know how up a "double-blind" study of something like this could be created. What would serve as a control population? And many studies simply can't be replicated anyway even if a definitive one could be created.

As far as tastes, those run the gamut as you yourself have experienced. Mine, too, for that matter. I have joked that what truly formed my sexual tastes were the vintage Popeye cartoons I saw as a child: the "unattainable" Olive Oyl, who would choose brawn over the nice guy at first, and then end up in over her head and resort to "No, don't, stop! Don't, stop! Don't! Stop! Don't! Stop! Don't! Stop! Don't! Stop!" Retrograde sexual politics and typical roles apparently did it for me, along with a raging crush on an uncle, some of my cousins and...almost any guy I spotted who appealed! The allure of the [banned word] can be very potent, it certainly is for me, whatever counts a [banned word] varying from person to person. At the same time, in my old age I've realized that some fantasies make rotten realities. I've tried acting out some of my more baroque beat-off material, and it's pretty much a disaster every time. I have accepted that I have particular tastes, and I try to find others who share them (see my story Pozzed...shameless plug for the tawdry details). Spontaneity is important to me, but I know there are many people who love structured role-plays, and that's great, too.

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I don't have genetic studies to back up any fetal development theories.  Certainly that might be the case.  

But I know enough formerly straight only guys that I've come around to thinking all humans are essentially bisexual.  What we actually do about that is influenced by factors after we're born.  Some were conditioned so strongly a straight life is what they pursued and never actually questioned attractions to same sex other than being buddies.  

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15 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

However, I would caution anyone against drawing the conclusion "I was born gay"

I'd like your input on the following: 

I never cared much for girls, since my earliest memory.  I always liked playing with boys better as a little kid.  Not at all in a sexual way - that issue was deeply and thoroughly repressed until I went away to school.  Since I have no formal education in sexology (is that even a proper term?), once I did discover sex, I didn't fantasize about girls, I started having sex with boys.  I have never been "patient" or "entertained" or "excited" by feminine wiles; they irritate me.  I get along well with women who seem to instinctively know I am not susceptible to that kind of manipulation, and I do not deal patiently with women who think the possess gold between their legs.  I even came up with an excuse (what it was I don't recall) to not rent a property to a woman, recently divorced, with gigantic breasts tightly covered by a thin skimpy tank-top shirt.  The minute she sauntered up the driveway to view the property, I knew she thought she shit crushed pineapple just because of those flabby, unsightly tits packed into that little shirt.  

It seems to me that I simply have an in-born distaste for women, and their flirty, giggly, silly, useless behavior.  By contrast, even before I had any notions of what sexual drives are, I enjoyed spending time with boys, and what must be an in-born affinity for my own gender. 

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I'm the 1st born male, and definitely bisexual. I've known I was attracted to both girls and boys since I was sexually aware. My 1st time having sex was with a girl at 14, and did not start exploring sex with other guys, I think mostly due to cultural conditioning, until I was 19 and in college. I don't seem to have whatever gene or at least it hasn't been activated, to develop a romantic attachment to another man, although I do have and have developed them several times with a woman. I have had a lot more gay sex, because of it's availability. Once I discovered that smorgasbord of gay cruising and hooking up at 19 that pull has been hard to resist, even though I developed several romantic attachments with women throughout my 20's and early 30's and tried to settle for maybe just a gay fuckbud or occasionally random hookup on the side, it simply doesn't work for me. At 53 I still pop a boner at inconvenient times, for both sexes, for me it is simply easier to go find anotherrandom guy to enjoy my boner with than a woman, so that is what I usually try to do.

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1 hour ago, NWUSHorny said:

I'm the 1st born male, and definitely bisexual. I've known I was attracted to both girls and boys since I was sexually aware. My 1st time having sex was with a girl at 14, and did not start exploring sex with other guys, I think mostly due to cultural conditioning, until I was 19 and in college. I don't seem to have whatever gene or at least it hasn't been activated, to develop a romantic attachment to another man, although I do have and have developed them several times with a woman. I have had a lot more gay sex, because of it's availability. Once I discovered that smorgasbord of gay cruising and hooking up at 19 that pull has been hard to resist, even though I developed several romantic attachments with women throughout my 20's and early 30's and tried to settle for maybe just a gay fuckbud or occasionally random hookup on the side, it simply doesn't work for me. At 53 I still pop a boner at inconvenient times, for both sexes, for me it is simply easier to go find anotherrandom guy to enjoy my boner with than a woman, so that is what I usually try to do.

Same here, although my male side of bisexual came much later.
Love having sex and love with women, but sex as a bottom with a gay man is a lot easier so a lot more...
Cruising and saunas are my favorites and then hookup sites...

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