Dating age gap?

[Btmfag]

I'm flirting with a 57 year old man very fit sexy but wanted to hear everyone's thoughts on the subject before it goes too far? Currently  I've only dated guys my age and don't know what I should expect?

[NHeat]

How old are you?  I like checking out the GayYoungOld subreddit. I think it's hot to see an age gap in couples.

[kinkatx]

I always had a preference for guys younger than me. I sort of expected the age gaps would should follow me as I’ve gotten older but now than I’m in my 40s I’ve realized everyone I’ve dated has been in their 20s and briefly there was an 18 and 19 year many years ago. 
 

I attribute it to a lot of things… grew up in an abusive household, plus hiding my sexuality. I didn’t really have a childhood experience so getting to know people who had a more normal experience has always interested me. 
 

I definitely find the maturity gap to be more of an issue… I sort of fell into dating a 24 year old about 5 months ago and it felt like I was parenting. 
 

I’m not sure what’s next; I simply enjoy being single and do not intend to be monogamous again but there are certainly times it’s nice to have a partner. I’ve had some excellent, long relationships even though none of them continued to work. 

[topblkmale]

On 1/1/2023 at 7:22 AM, Btmfag said:

I'm flirting with a 57 year old man very fit sexy but wanted to hear everyone's thoughts on the subject before it goes too far? Currently  I've only dated guys my age and don't know what I should expect?

Ok, you're over 30 years old so I'm assuming you've been around sexually. That's old in gay years. 

If you were school/college age it would be a thing.

[Everopen]

I’m 64 and my partner is 26.  We’ve been together 7 years.  No issues except looks homophobes give us especially if he’s xdressed

[Bokkierob]

I'm a 54yo daddy and my boy is 23. He's lived with me for several years and ours is a physical relationship. I'm inside him every day and we often fuck with either my buddies or his. He's well into older men and loves being tag fucked by a group of daddies.

[Everopen]

6 minutes ago, Bokkierob said:

I'm a 54yo daddy and my boy is 23. He's lived with me for several years and ours is a physical relationship. I'm inside him every day and we often fuck with either my buddies or his. He's well into older men and loves being tag fucked by a group of daddies.

And our young boys know other young boys to bring home for us. Oink oink

[Guest]

Honestly I think big age gaps in relationships can be healthy. I'm 58 now but when I was 55 I dated student who was three months shy of his 19th birthday. You have a wider range of experiences and things to share. 

 

 

[Bokkierob]

1 minute ago, Everopen said:

And our young boys know other young boys to bring home for us. Oink oink

Hell yeah, he's got his young buddies to take my cock. Or if he brings back an anon fuck sometimes  I get to join in. 

[tallslenderguy]

On 1/1/2023 at 4:22 AM, Btmfag said:

I'm flirting with a 57 year old man very fit sexy but wanted to hear everyone's thoughts on the subject before it goes too far? Currently  I've only dated guys my age and don't know what I should expect?

Some thoughts.  

i think asking why we ask is also a valid, and important, part of discovery. Often, hidden in our questions, are spoken and unspoken standards we've been culturally conditioned by/with.  For instance, on the surface we're gay, and we know a big portion of American culture still thinks gay people are sick and perverted.  Age gap is another layer to that, though often the religious culture that calls us 'sinful and perverted' has a different standard when it comes to age. But no matter, religious or not, age gap figures in to a lot of peoples emotional, knee jerk standard of 'right and wrong.'  

Even if one questions and can be free of social notions that they do not deem as correct, we still have to live in a society where many/most hold those standards and will react to you and yours accordingly.  I.e., expect to be judged and ridiculed openly and subtly.  

Also i think we can usually expect some of those notions to surface in our selves along the way. Even though we may not consciously accept all the cultural ideas we've grown up with, that does not mean they have not been ingrained in us.  

For instance, i have a kink where i am attracted to a Man who need/wants me to receive His piss.  Obviously cannot be open about that to just anyone, at least, not without repercussions. Part of me  deeply needs/wants a kind of affectionate degradation/humiliation that goes along with that. For the longest time, i couldn't figure out why. i'm not into being abused, i do not think i am less than and another is superior (not judging that, just saying it's not me). So i wanted to understand why i wanted/needed this? i've come to believe that my feelings of degradation/humiliation are real, but conditioned. my need desire is for a Mans desire/need/lust with me, and when He has this kink and i do to, it's a place of deep connection and bonding. So, even though i may be feeling degraded and humiliated, at the same time i am being affirmed and desired. What is being affirmed is real, it's a part of me.  my real need outweighs my conditioning, gets overwhelmed by it making the experience paradoxical, but really a positive thing. Good luck trying to explain this to someone at church lol. 

i'd say follow your needs and desires, but do it eyes wide open. It's an opportunity for self discovery and affirmation of a part of yourself that has want/need. 

[hntnhole]

5 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

So i wanted to understand why i wanted/needed this?

To my way of thinking, this is exactly how we should deepen our understanding of ourselves, and thereby understand why we need what we crave. 

I use the "if X is so, then why is it so" construct across the board, but any construct that makes sense is the way to go.  The point, of course, is to do the intellectual work, and arrive at a better understanding of ourselves, the issue that's mind-dogging us, or any other facet of life that seems not to fit.  

On 1/1/2023 at 7:22 AM, Btmfag said:

  I've only dated guys my age and don't know what I should expect?

Thus, Btmfag, put your expectations aside, and let the guy that seems old to you, but may be regarded as "chicken" by some other guys, reveal himself.  If you can, be open to whatever you find, and offer yourself in the same vein.  Don't "expect" this or that, merely be open to what you find.  Chances are good you'll discover a more seasoned man, hopefully one who's learned some life-lessons.  You might expect less awkwardness, more well-developed skills, all kinds of good stuff.  Of course, maybe the guy turns out to be a 57 year old asshole too.  

The point is, to be open to whatever kind of man the guy turns out to be.  That's a pretty good rule of Cock ...... hmmmmm ....... that's not right ...... oh - rule of thumb - yeah, that's it - to use in all kinds of situations.  

One last thing:  be open to being pleasantly surprised !!!

Good luck !!!

[tallslenderguy]

3 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

To my way of thinking, this is exactly how we should deepen our understanding of ourselves, and thereby understand why we need what we crave. 

I use the "if X is so, then why is it so" construct across the board, but any construct that makes sense is the way to go.  The point, of course, is to do the intellectual work, and arrive at a better understanding of ourselves, the issue that's mind-dogging us, or any other facet of life that seems not to fit.  

 

Yes, i'm ridiculously analytical, but ever since i left fundamentalism as an approach to life, it's different.  i know longer need to understand or know why, even though i remain eternally curious. i used to have to be able to rationalize my behavior, and thereby rationalizing who and how i am.  Now, i want to live real and honestly, but i don't have to know or understand why in order to accept how i am. 

Piss is always a good example for me.  i know i am excited and engaged as fuck with a Man who wants, and even more if He needs me to be His toilet. Just writing that still feels kind of weird.  i have come to understand that it's not the piss i am connecting with or wanting , but so many of things associated with it: e.g., willingness to give myself as a receptacle even for a Mans waste because i want Him so much and want His pleasure using me so much, and so many other connecting places. What i don't understand or know is why piss in particular? Sure, i can speculate, but i know it's just conjecture... but that doesn't matter to me, nor does it stop me from acting AND connecting with a Man who has the same desire/need.

Honestly, that's the same with me across the board with some of the more general things like being gay, or being total bottom. my looking for understanding and knowledge brought me to one of the most liberating pieces of understanding (for me), and that is that i do not have to understand reality to fully accept and live in it. The important thing to me is seeing what is and living honesty with reality. 

[ellentonboy]

I think it is much more common than we think.  I have been to gay meccas like PS, Lauderdale and even Atlantis Events (God help me).  I am always careful as to what I say regarding age because I have seen some very happy couples who are decades apart in age.

I know of a couple that are 30 years apart in age, and it's the younger one who wants to be with older men (by that I mean they need to be 45 to 65).  They have three ways but younger guys insists the trick be closer to his partner's age.  

If they are happy, I am happy for them.

[blkboibtm]

i have always dated older a most of my sex partners are usually at least a few yrs older...there are outliers of course.  the oldest diff so far was i dated 51 yr old when i was 22.  

Edited January 4, 2023 by blkboibtm
mistake

[Heir2012]

I'm attracted to older men, but I'm not sure if this lends itself to dating or just fucking. You can have someone you like to fuck, but I don't think I'd date them. Beyond sex, what else is there to connect you to someone else? If you have that connection, then dating makes sense. Everyone is different.