Surplus of bottoms?

[yngguy712]

4 hours ago, austin_submale said:

So total bottoms are "always selfish aholes" because they won't top?  What if they've got a legit reason for not topping like ED or just having too small a cock to really achieve proper penetration?  Or maybe they just don't like it?  Saying that someone is an ahole just because they don't like to top, or that it is selfish...  I dunno.  Sounds a little like jealousy the way you begrudge the guys who get a lot of loads.  I can understand that I suppose, I'm an older chub guy so I don't get much action.  But even if they invited another bottom it wouldn't be any guarantee that they wouldn't still get the bulk of the action.  A lot of selection is just that tops can be, and therefore often are, extremely picky.  A lot of them only like femmy bottoms, or thin, young twinky bottoms, or only clean shaved and short haired or whatever.  It seems like you are blaming other bottoms for what is largely a top (or lack thereof) issue.  Anyway, you can be mad about it all you want, but those guys are always going to be the ones getting the bulk of the loads as long as that's what tops want.

 

Nope you missed the point.  Being a total bottom plays into their core personality. Their personality and morals and sense of self makes them be a total bottom.  But for the most part it's held true. In fact I can't think of a total bottom I've come across that I've gotten to know that wasn't.  Talking 200+ guys.  It's like people that don't return shopping carts.  or CAT people.  haha

[ErosWired]

2 hours ago, yngguy712 said:

Nope you missed the point.  Being a total bottom plays into their core personality. Their personality and morals and sense of self makes them be a total bottom.  But for the most part it's held true. In fact I can't think of a total bottom I've come across that I've gotten to know that wasn't.  Talking 200+ guys.  It's like people that don't return shopping carts.  or CAT people.  haha

The fact that you so glibly psychoanalyze an entire group of people on the basis of a single trait is absolute evidence that your theory is rubbish. Total bottoms don’t return shopping carts? Guess what, genius, I’m a total bottom and not only do I return my shopping cart back inside the store every time, I randomly bring in others if I find them on the way. So, you’re dead wrong when it comes to me. And if you’re wrong about me, who else are you wrong about? And if you’re wrong about the carts, what other things have you got totally wrongheaded about people who don’t Top? (Hint: Plenty.)

No, the fact that I don’t flip-fuck does not make me ‘selfish’. The fact that another person does not do what you want does not make them selfish. The fact that you think that anyone you fuck owes you a fuck in return makes you the one with entitlement issues. When I service a Top, everything I do is about that man’s pleasure, even if it means my own discomfort, and it often does. I don’t stare at my phone - when a Top enters my room, he gets my undivided attention, because it’s about him. I am not after his load; I was trained to satisfy his needs, and that is where my satisfaction lies.

I do not Top because I have absolutely zero psychological framework, or instinct, to do so. Topping requires at a minimum an ability to enter a frame of mind dominant enough for penetration, and I cannot achieve that. I can’t even maintain an erection to do it. It’s not a matter of choice - my brain isn’t wired for it, and if you think all men’s brains are wired the same, then you’re a simpleton. It would be a blessing if I could Top; it would greatly broaden my range of service. But I can’t, so I have no alternative but to become a specialist with my ass.

 There are, to be sure, bottoms who fit the picture you paint. There are selfish, greedy, self-centered, self-important, immature men out there who think of absolutely no one but themselves when they’re looking for gratification, and they think nothing of using other men to get it. There are bottoms who unabashedly are out for every load they can get and treat Tops as dispensers, not as men, and not with the respect due to the gift they provide. There are bottoms who are simply lazy and expect to be bred with a minimum of effort on their part. All such bottoms give the rest of us a bad name, and I resent them deeply. But we are not all of such a kind, we do not all operate from some selfish core, and we do not all take on an exclusively bottom role by choice. But we may serve in that role honorably, and with pride in our ability and service.

If you elect not to fuck total bottoms simply because they do not fuck you back, that’s a decision you make, for yourself. The devision costs you some fine ass, but there are other Tops who do appreciate us, and we’re more than happy to serve them.

 

[Piggyybttmm]

It's true and can be annoying, but I've always understood why... Getting fucked in the ass is the best part of being gay and having gay sex. So of course most of the gay guys are going to want that. That's fine by me

[JamesL100]

7 hours ago, austin_submale said:

Meaningful connection on a hookup?  I think if you're hooking up with that kind of cumdump looking for a relationship maybe that's wishful thinking in general.  But it is kind of disrespectful and un-sexy if they can't get off their phone long enough for a proper encounter...

What age are these?  Mostly GenZ or younger Millennials?  That kind of behavior I've seen with a lot of younger people mostly.

I didn't say I wanted a relationship, I said a connection during sex. You yourself used the phrase proper encounter. That's what I had in mind. Apps seem to distract people of ages these days. I find more 'proper encounters' at saunas where phones aren't used.

[Pozguyinchi]

When I am invited to a party it is because I am a bottom. Most of the men will be top or vers.  I always trust the host to have it figured out before I get there.  I am never disappointed. I always leave bred.

[hntnhole]

After reading through these replies, I think that the descriptor "bottom" is too vague regarding how we become bottoms or Tops. 

There may be different reasons some guys bottom, one of which may be the component of submission in their nature.  Submissives are usually bottoms, and Dominants usually aren't.  But that isn't carved into some mountainside somewhere. 

When a burgeoning gay boy is growing up, it seems to me he is naturally (and at the same time) developing his Dominant or his submissive, in-born nature.  It's that natural affinity for submission (in this case) to feel more comfortable, more inclined, more fulfilled to offer up his Hole to Dominant men.  The instinct of all men for sexual conquest takes different forms, but might derive from the basic instinct - one way or the other.  

Whether the guy is butch as nails, or not possessive of the cultural definition of masculinity in some way, maybe their sexual desire is naturally driven one way or the other by their inborn-nature.  Add to that the cultural conditioning, and we wind up with self-assigned roles that may or may not reflect that in-born foundational nature to submission or Dominance.  

It's an interesting thread - thanks, all you guys ..... 

[ObedientChaser]

On 5/5/2023 at 11:26 PM, topblkmale said:

My Grindr app fills up with bottoms sending me random ass pics.

 

I seriously doubt bottoms on Grindr are overrun with dick pics from tops.

Υοu are right on the money...

[Webster9]

As someone who is 100% bottom, I can tell you that I have never had a problem finding tops to fill my holes.  As a matter of fact, this morning, I posted an ad on Grindr, and tonight, I will be hooking up with TWO tops (partners) for what is planned to be an all night PNP session.

[Hotrawbutt4u]

A lot has to do with locations. I would expect a lot in SF or NY, but other locations I have looked at there are a lot more bottoms than tops

[ErosWired]

3 hours ago, hntnhole said:

Submissives are usually bottoms, and Dominants usually aren't.  But that isn't carved into some mountainside somewhere. 

Actually…have you seen Mount Rushmore? Stone Mountain in Georgia? Now, while we don’t know that any of the men depicted there weren’t bottoms, I think the general public perception is that they were probably not. So, maybe it’s what isn’t carved into the mountainside that makes the inference? 😉

[TwinkChaserSlut]

On 5/5/2023 at 2:15 AM, Spunkinmyarse said:

I’ve never been convinced by this. The thing is, most tops are a one shot deal- whether they’re online or in a cruise bar, they generally hook up, unload, and disappear back into real life to get on with other things.

Bottoms, on the other hand, just keep on going- the more loads they get, the more they want. So they stay online, always hunting for more- or hang out in the cruise bar/sauna to the bitter end. That’s why at the end of the night it seems like there’s nothing but bottoms.

And because bottoms cum less often, they’re always horny, always more willing to chat about sex on sites like this- and that feeds into the illusion that there are more bottoms than tops. 

I reckon there’s a pretty even split. In fact, if you take guys who self-identify as “straight”, I reckon there are actually far more tops than bottoms out there in the world as a whole.

You make some very good points.

[TwinkChaserSlut]

On 5/5/2023 at 2:15 AM, Spunkinmyarse said:

I’ve never been convinced by this. The thing is, most tops are a one shot deal- whether they’re online or in a cruise bar, they generally hook up, unload, and disappear back into real life to get on with other things.

Bottoms, on the other hand, just keep on going- the more loads they get, the more they want. So they stay online, always hunting for more- or hang out in the cruise bar/sauna to the bitter end. That’s why at the end of the night it seems like there’s nothing but bottoms.

And because bottoms cum less often, they’re always horny, always more willing to chat about sex on sites like this- and that feeds into the illusion that there are more bottoms than tops. 

I reckon there’s a pretty even split. In fact, if you take guys who self-identify as “straight”, I reckon there are actually far more tops than bottoms out there in the world as a whole.

Everything you point out makes sense. Since Craigslist closed their personals, I feel that it's harder to reach that cross-section of tops.

[TwinkChaserSlut]

On 5/5/2023 at 6:23 AM, RawPlug said:

I’m guessing you haven’t spent much time in Manchester, then…? When news leaks out that a top has arrived in town, he’s devoured like a Snickers bar thrown over the wall of a fat camp. 

Hilarious 🤣

[TwinkChaserSlut]

On 5/5/2023 at 6:55 AM, YourNoLimitsBottom said:

Not only is my area overflowing with bottoms, most of the "tops" you meet online are flakes that are there for the cyber-thrills then they vanish. I had better luck when I went out in the world to physically meet people, but even then you meet mostly guys that want to bottom for you.

For sure, I have observed this as well.

[TwinkChaserSlut]

On 5/5/2023 at 7:10 AM, Bottom Jim said:

I have found if you add married guys I have found tops in good supply Almost all married guys are tops. They just want an ass in fuck and nut in

Where & how do you meet them?