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Surplus of bottoms?


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On 5/5/2023 at 6:23 AM, RawPlug said:

I’m guessing you haven’t spent much time in Manchester, then…? When news leaks out that a top has arrived in town, he’s devoured like a Snickers bar thrown over the wall of a fat camp. 

Sounds like a top’s wet dream cum true!

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I don’t think there’s much for me to add to this thread. I’m a bottom and I make an effort to get along with other BTMs. I’d rather cheer on another dude taking dick rather than sabotage. 

I get a general sense that the distribution of younger guys (18-24) tends to be more BTM with a shift to a more even mix of TOP and BTM as we age up. Maybe I’m wrong and BTMs just spend more time online (for the many other reasons that have been addressed in this thread). 

Granted I live in a bigger city but I’m nothing special and when I’m looking I don’t usually have much trouble finding a top to link with. 

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I'm 80% top.  I take a lot of road trips especially weekend road trips.  I always stay in a decent hotel.  Evenings I go online and look for a good top.  Sometimes I find one.  Prefer a toxic poz top to recharge me, but that doesnt happen too much.  Most of the time I wind up toppin some guy or maybe a couple guys.  It is almost always possible to find a decent btm to breed.  I fuckin love to shoot my toxic load into a btm. I dont know if there is a surplus of btms or not, but I aint complainin.

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On 5/8/2023 at 10:31 AM, tallslenderguy said:

To me this topic is way too big and complex for me to come to a simple, absolute conclusion.  i do have some thoughts, but wouldn't want to come off as arguing from a conclusive general position, this is just my personal, individual thoughts/feelings (some may be kinda out there lol, like the first one below).

i wonder about the Chinese population (in China). For many years, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) dictated to the Chinese people that they could only have one child. One of the awful results was male children were valued more than female.  According to Encyclopedia Britannica: "The one-child policy produced consequences beyond the goal of reducing populationgrowth. Most notably, the country’s overall sex ratio became skewed toward males—roughly between 3 and 4 percent more males than females."  [think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.britannica.com/topic/one-child-policy

i wonder if the Chinese gay population is more Top heavy as a result?  i'm on one dating site that is a bit more relationship than hook up oriented (for a gay site), and there are Chinese guys living in China on the site (using a VPN). Those i've encountered, looking at profiles or being looked at, have almost all been top?  That's obviously purely subjective info, but it got me thinking, if we only apply supply and demand notions, and consider the bisexual male population of China, there may be more Tops in China than bottoms. For the pedants among us, yeah, i know this is not scientific, it's just a thought to add to the mix, not an argued conclusion on my part. my point is, there can be lots of complex factors that can affect the number of tops or bottoms in a population.

For a versatile to conclude something along the line that total bottoms are just selfish assholes, strikes me as divisive and   a problem, not part of a solution. i've heard that notion before, but never heard a versatile  (i.e. the kind who make the universal judgement that all men are really like them: versatile)  proffer that: "all Total Tops are just selfish assholes."  This attitude makes me think of my time spent in the cultural fundamentalist ideals prison where i was conditioned to believe all people are heterosexual. It seems particularly ego centric and 'selfish' to me to dismiss an entire population who identify as "bottom."  i think reality is, anyone can be a selfish asshole, whether they be Top, bottom, versatile, gay, straight, Bi, Trans, ad infinitum.  

Ones sexual identity doesn't make them selfish. Those guys running around at ABS or sex clubs, closing doors and trying to divert attention away from others could  be versatile, bottom, or even Top. To me, whatever their sexual identity, they prove themselves to be "selfish assholes," by their attitude and behavior.  When i encounter such people, i typically just leave the venue.

i don't want to be around people like that. Even at my horniest, i'm not so desperate that i would want to steal or thwart an opportunity to fuck or get fucked from another guy. 

i do not think much about the Top/bottom ratio, but more about the gay population in general. i live in a smallish town with a smaller gay population. i travel to a larger city or a place with a larger gay population if i want multiple guys to fuck me, and never leave disappointed. 

 i have come to a place in my life where sex is more about quality than quantity.  i confess, both can be hard to find, but i also have discovered (about myself) that when i am getting quality connection with a Man, i don't need the same quantity, and the ratio of Tops:bottoms becomes less of an issue for me. 

 

I agree with you. I've heard this "total bottoms are selfish" argument before too. People like what they like. I can make the argument that tops are selfish because they don't want to do the prep work required to be a power bottom. They just show up, pull they dick out pump, nut & bolt. Easy peasy.

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On 5/11/2023 at 9:07 PM, KylerIsTrash said:

Granted I live in a bigger city but I’m nothing special and when I’m looking I don’t usually have much trouble finding a top to link with. 

I’m nothing special either, and like you, I very seldom go home unfucked when I make the effort to go out in search of the connection. But I think that’s the point - half of winning the game is showing up to play. There may well be a surplus of bottoms, but they’re not all equally putting their asses out there in real time in a real way such that they might really contend for the available cock. For every one like me and you, there’s a multiple of wish-that-were-me bottoms who sit behind their screens and don’t actually try.

Honestly - how hard is it really to end up with a cock in your cunt if someone like me can have over 1,000 men having fucked him? All I’ve done has been to show up and present my naked ass (suitably prepped). I don’t even proactively try to persuade men, I just announce my presence and take what comes.

So it may be that looking at the total number of declared bottoms is actually a misleading measure - perhaps we should be asking whether there’s a surplus of functional, active, DTF bottoms.

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On 5/7/2023 at 6:08 AM, hntnhole said:

There may be different reasons some guys bottom, one of which may be the component of submission in their nature.  Submissives are usually bottoms, and Dominants usually aren't.  But that isn't carved into some mountainside somewhere. 

Too right! Bottoming isn't about submission, necessarily. It's primarily about getting your ring set on fire with that lovely flesh on flesh friction! 😃😃😃 I can't stand the whole set of Dom/sub assumptions and role play around much of gay sex play and discussion. I definitely ain't sub. But I am definitely bottom!

And I say I'm a bottom so there's no confusion about what I'm looking for. What my expectations are for a hookup. Unfortunately, because I'm reasonably hung, as soon as guys see my dick they're usually begging ME to fuck THEM! Definitely 95% bottoms in the gay world! (IMHO, of course! 😃)

Frankly topping's just not something I've ever really gotten off on. Just doesn't feel as exciting to me. Never has. I do it in group situations to contribute to the overall fun for others. But it's definitely not my preference. 🤷‍♂️

 

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On 5/17/2023 at 5:58 PM, ErosWired said:

So it may be that looking at the total number of declared bottoms is actually a misleading measure - perhaps we should be asking whether there’s a surplus of functional, active, DTF bottoms.

I think some area have a severe deficit of DTF guys, bottom, top and versatile. I know I complain about the amount of sex I'm getting where I live versus other places I've lived and traveled to, but sex can be had here it just takes an enormous amount of time and effort, and often involves "hooking up" with multiple men who aren't actually DTF before you find someone who actually is ready and able to hook up and actually fuck.

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17 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

I think some area have a severe deficit of DTF guys, bottom, top and versatile.

I’ve never understood this, as it flies in the face of what I’ve always believed to be true of men - that, on the whole, they will get laid if given any opportunity. The reproductive instinct is very strong, and most men, statistically, think about sex in at least some fashion multiple times in a day. Yet we lead the horse to water and it doesn’t drink. Given the ecstatic pleasure to be had from intercourse that can be obtained no other way, I’m at a loss to explain why so many walk away from it like leaving a hundred-dollar bill lying on the sidewalk.

I mean, I can understand a guy passing on me if he thinks I’m a five-dollar whore, but I would at least expect him to fuck somebody.

Edited by ErosWired
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6 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

I’ve never understood this, as it flies in the face of what I’ve always believed to be true of men - that, on the whole, they will get laid if given any opportunity. The reproductive instinct is very strong, and most men, statistically, think about sex in at least some fashion multiple times in a day. Yet we lead the horse to water and it doesn’t drink. Given the ecstatic pleasure to be had from intercourse that can be obtained no other way, I’m at a loss to explain why so many walk away from it like leaving a hundred-dollar bill lying on the sidewalk.

Yet this region is known for its surplus of bottoms, which makes me seriously question it. In almost any other region of North America, when I go to a sex club and get ready to leave there is at least 1 bottom ass up presenting himself to get fucked even at off peak times, here it is less than 50% even at peak times. I guess it is possible that it is so imbalanced that they have given up.

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After reading through these replies, there must be some other facet influencing the lack of sexual connections.  EW points out that sexual thoughts pass through the minds of most men many times a day, even if only for an instant, no matter where in the world they happen to live, no matter what the gender of the target is.      

Cultural repressions seem too weak an influencer to be wholly responsible, since those would be applicable to both Tops and bottoms,  I understand that there has been - at least as long as I've been sexually active - a generally accepted perception that   there are more guys drawn to bottoming than Topping, and that seems to ring true.  

I've always believed that the preference/inclination is something that's naturally inborn in us, but that doesn't make it true for everyone else.  

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