Surplus of bottoms?

[TwinkChaserSlut]

On 5/5/2023 at 8:44 AM, austin_submale said:

Here in Austin it seems like it's 99% bottoms.  Even guys who are top or vers top on the sites seem to mostly be interested in bottoming or at least flipping.  And yes, tops are VERY picky.  I hear a lot of "not my type".  If you aren't young, thin and good looking, forget it.  Old, chubby pigs like myself usually only get interest from a few guys.

And yes, I think it is pretty much true everywhere to some extent but some places seem more so than others.

 

Yeah I hear ya.

[TwinkChaserSlut]

On 5/5/2023 at 9:48 AM, ErosWired said:

On occasion at the bathhouse I have discovered the work of other bottoms trying to sabotage my chances - taking the welcome sign off my room door, closing my room door when I wasn’t aware of it, erasing a reference to my room number on the chalkboard, or, more ckeekily, changing it to their own. More than once I’ve found guys stopped looking in at me in my room shooting daggers from their eyes, then stalking off. I don’t know why. It’s not as if there’s anything overtly special about me - I’m just another ass up in a room. But it may be that they’re jealous because I do have the gumption to actually hoist my ass into mounting position, and they don’t. I can’t help them with that.

Good for you dude 👍 

[TwinkChaserSlut]

On 5/5/2023 at 11:13 AM, NudistBBBLK said:

I personally don’t have an issue finding tops. In my case I am not really big on apps and don’t log on often, once in a while I do, but not often. Reason being is that I have no patience to log online, search, chat, arrange etc etc. What I have managed to do over the years is keep in touch with tops. If I hook up with a top and we enjoyed the time, I keep in touch. I saved their number, I let them know I had good time & want to keep in touch. I invite them back & I try to setup a rapport with them. This leads to where I stand today which is I have about 20ish top in my contact list in my hometown. I hook up 2-3x a week with someone in that 20. Someone is always available & they all know to just reach out to me if they are in the mood and I’ll rearrange. my schedule for them, if possible. In addition, 3 of the tops I regularly meet as they are similar to me in that they don’t have desire  or energy to go online and rather just call someone they know. A few of the tops I’ve known for years. In fact one has been a fuck bud of line for 13 years and I meet up with him at least once or twice a month.  

I agree there are more bottoms than top but I’ve circumvented this issue by just sticking to guys I know and have met and keep in touch. There are time I crave something new and when that happens I either attend fuck parties or log on. The thing that works in my favor is that I am consistent bottom: I can be available, I don’t bring or create drama, and I rarely cancel. Tops like this above all things, a bottom they can rely on. 

Your pointers on maintaining a stable of regular tops make perfect sense. In fact, like you I have a stable of regulars myself. So your advice is a terrific way to keep busy servicing tops in the vast sea of bottoms. However,  a bottom observing that bottoms far outnumber tops is not necessarily a reflection on how an that bottom personally fares against all the competition. I do quite well despite the disparity. In fact, I quite like other bottoms & try to support & compliment other bottoms as often as I can. Bottoms can make excellent tops, even if they only top on occasion. One of my fbuds is this cute-as-fuck white twink who is the hottest cumdump bottom ever but for some reason loves to pound, rim, & breed me every month or two. It's super hot because he knows what a cumdump loves because he himself is one too. 😛

[Luxbrit]

nothing like a bit of competition 🤣

[Bimarried001]

On 5/5/2023 at 12:56 AM, TwinkChaserSlut said:

It seems like bottoms far outnumber tops everywhere, regardless of geography or mode of hookup (apps, websites, bars, clubs, bathhouses, etc). Bottoms & vers bottoms (who are really just bottoms) appear to be plentiful & tops get the pick of the litter. Does anyone have thoughts on what the actual % of tops to bottoms (approximately) is & why the disparity exists in the first place? 

I cannot give a percentage but I can confirm that this is 100% correct. The gay theater that I frequent in NY I usually bottoms on the hunt for cock with few tops to supply that cock. 
And it’s been that way for some time. Gay parties, ABS. You see bottoms lined up hunting for cock with very few tops. 

[tighthole64]

15 hours ago, Hotrawbutt4u said:

A lot has to do with locations. I would expect a lot in SF or NY, but other locations I have looked at there are a lot more bottoms than tops

Definitely the case in Orlando. 

[Bimarried001]

13 minutes ago, tighthole64 said:

Definitely the case in Orlando. 

I don’t have an answer to why this is the case. I know when I started cruising (decades ago) it was not that way. But some point along the way tops became less common. 

[hntnhole]

15 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Actually…have you seen Mount Rushmore?

Actually, I have.  When we were little kids, my dad said "now we're in America, and we're going to go see it".  I can't remember how long it took, but we actually drove through all 48 contiguous states.  I don't recall whether the mountain you reference was Stone mountain or Lookout mountain, but I do remember the '29, '30 Stutz I saw parked in a gas station with a for sale sign on it.  I know it was in the South somewhere. 

Admittedly, I've been vehicularly-oriented long before I knew what my Cock is for. 

[AlwaysOpen]

Living in Fort Bottomdale, AKA Ft Lauderdale, yeah, the ratio of bottoms to tops is probably 50 to 1. Usually, you can tell the frustration level of a bottom by their preferred position they post on hook up apps. If they list Bottom, they are being honest, and are not there to swap positions.  Bottom - vers guys have not had many replies when they listed bottom, so they thought by expanding their circle a little, they might luck out. Too often, the guys listing themselves as vers will also have an ad up for guys to come  by and stick their dick thru his glory hole and get sucked off, or may be advertising that they will be taking loads all night; blind folded and ass up.  As the declared sex role moves upwards to Vers-top, the guy has really become frustrated  and is really looking to bottom, but the last 3 options have not worked out, so this is the last chance for a 5 minute romance.  And here, at least, if they list themselves as top, and they are online more than 5 minutes, they too often will have something about how good they are at giving head and swallowing all loads. 

Seriously, I think gay men have culturally grown up in the realm of "faggots take it up the ass or suck cocks"  as their very early on foundation, often learned from the guys in gym class or the school bus , posturing and trying to appear more sexually advanced. And with that, higher on the pecking order.  So when  a gay teen begin to hit puberty and their sex drive awakens, they have this notion of what their role is supposed to be.  I wonder if this thread would be lamenting how there are too many tops, if the schoolyard /locker room talk went " gay guys  all have huge gym muscles, and their cocks would split any pussy, so that's why they are gay. And they can fuck anything anytime they want, unlike straight guys"

[VersGuyAnon]

Too many bottoms to start with at the sauna today, but it balanced out fairly quickly. 

[LetsPOZBreed]

18 minutes ago, VersGuyAnon said:

Too many bottoms to start with at the sauna today, but it balanced out fairly quickly. 

So, admission....I went to one of the London saunas last night for the first time in about 4 years.  I was nervous, and wasn't sure if I'd find anything; just didn't want to stay home either.

It actually turned out to be a good night.  I went to the one in London where it tends to skew older, but I kinda like that sort of thing - tends to be less pretentious there.  Was a good crowd when I got there and actually got fucked really well by one guy.  I didn't cruise naked either - had a jockstrap on (obivous sign I was looking to bottom).  Didn't really have an issue with some guy wanting to pull my cock out, which has happened in the past, nor was there much in the way of any "competitive bottoms".  Might have just picked a good night - or maybe it's because I looked like fresh meat after not having been for a long time.  

 

[Guest]

On 5/5/2023 at 10:39 AM, Aixactif said:

I try to do my duty and fuck as many bottoms as I can. I only have 1 rule: don’t make it complicated. I want to spend my time fucking not texting. 

Yes, I agree, fuck as many bottoms as you can. I want to be one of those bottoms that you fuck. I'd give you a good time and satisfy your desires completely. Screw texting!! I would love to chat with you further....

[tallslenderguy]

To me this topic is way too big and complex for me to come to a simple, absolute conclusion.  i do have some thoughts, but wouldn't want to come off as arguing from a conclusive general position, this is just my personal, individual thoughts/feelings (some may be kinda out there lol, like the first one below).

i wonder about the Chinese population (in China). For many years, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) dictated to the Chinese people that they could only have one child. One of the awful results was male children were valued more than female.  According to Encyclopedia Britannica: "The one-child policy produced consequences beyond the goal of reducing populationgrowth. Most notably, the country’s overall sex ratio became skewed toward males—roughly between 3 and 4 percent more males than females."  [think before following links] https://www.britannica.com/topic/one-child-policy

i wonder if the Chinese gay population is more Top heavy as a result?  i'm on one dating site that is a bit more relationship than hook up oriented (for a gay site), and there are Chinese guys living in China on the site (using a VPN). Those i've encountered, looking at profiles or being looked at, have almost all been top?  That's obviously purely subjective info, but it got me thinking, if we only apply supply and demand notions, and consider the bisexual male population of China, there may be more Tops in China than bottoms. For the pedants among us, yeah, i know this is not scientific, it's just a thought to add to the mix, not an argued conclusion on my part. my point is, there can be lots of complex factors that can affect the number of tops or bottoms in a population.

For a versatile to conclude something along the line that total bottoms are just selfish assholes, strikes me as divisive and   a problem, not part of a solution. i've heard that notion before, but never heard a versatile  (i.e. the kind who make the universal judgement that all men are really like them: versatile)  proffer that: "all Total Tops are just selfish assholes."  This attitude makes me think of my time spent in the cultural fundamentalist ideals prison where i was conditioned to believe all people are heterosexual. It seems particularly ego centric and 'selfish' to me to dismiss an entire population who identify as "bottom."  i think reality is, anyone can be a selfish asshole, whether they be Top, bottom, versatile, gay, straight, Bi, Trans, ad infinitum.  

Ones sexual identity doesn't make them selfish. Those guys running around at ABS or sex clubs, closing doors and trying to divert attention away from others could  be versatile, bottom, or even Top. To me, whatever their sexual identity, they prove themselves to be "selfish assholes," by their attitude and behavior.  When i encounter such people, i typically just leave the venue.

i don't want to be around people like that. Even at my horniest, i'm not so desperate that i would want to steal or thwart an opportunity to fuck or get fucked from another guy. 

i do not think much about the Top/bottom ratio, but more about the gay population in general. i live in a smallish town with a smaller gay population. i travel to a larger city or a place with a larger gay population if i want multiple guys to fuck me, and never leave disappointed. 

 i have come to a place in my life where sex is more about quality than quantity.  i confess, both can be hard to find, but i also have discovered (about myself) that when i am getting quality connection with a Man, i don't need the same quantity, and the ratio of Tops:bottoms becomes less of an issue for me. 

 

[tallslenderguy]

some more...

This is not a criticism or judgement, more of open query.

i wonder if we experience glut or shortage more because we often reduce our connections with men to cock, cum and hole? When i consider the times i do that, it seems to be that i've reduced my own complex desire/needs for a Man down to the bare minimum?  

my profiles on sites where i am looking for more than hook up sex are often books or mini series lol. i'm pretty cerebral and have spent a lot of introspective time and effort trying to understand what i want/need from a relationship with a Man, and while it is always sexual, the Top/bottom dynamic is a lot more complex than "insert A into b, move about, release, depart."

i can find semblance of what i want/need in hook up sex, but i've come to compare it to fast food. It fills the vacuum of hunger, is full of satisfying salt, sugar and fat, but i'd rather be eating a sit down meals with all the fixins and wonder if i had that if id even want fast food? Or maybe fast food would become the supplement. i wonder if it's reversing what would work best to reduce our need/desire to cock, cum and cunt?  i know, it's not a perfect analogy.

i also look at our needs/desires as a sort of puzzle with 1000 pieces needed to make up the whole picture. i see multiple anonymous hook ups as one way to acquire those puzzle pieces, and maybe it's just easier to get one piece from a thousand guys than try to find a guy that has 300 or __________ pieces? Or maybe even enough to make sense of the picture?

thinking out loud, not reaching any grand conclusions here.

 

[LetsPOZBreed]

2 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

i wonder if we experience glut or shortage more because we often reduce our connections with men to cock, cum and hole? When i consider the times i do that, it seems to be that i've reduced my own complex desire/needs for a Man down to the bare minimum?  

You and I are on a similar wavelength on this.  My recent sauna visit aside, it's not the kind of place where I expect to find the kind of good connection that I want (or, quite frankly, NEED) these days.  Doesn't mean it couldn't happen, just not statistically likely.

When it comes to those deeper connection moments, I have a very open mind on how I determine what I'm interested in doing.  Top/bottom/vers no longer matters in those situations.  Ideally, I'd prefer some level of versatility so that we can both experience each other in the fullest possible way.  In those connections, the actual mechanics of the sex are largely unimportant...just let the vibe dictate what happens and see where it goes.